Greeting again from Sir Thomas Roberts. First, praise the lord my writers block is gone! Plus I finally found time to write again with all the work I get from school. Anyways now that my writers block is gone I can finally get to work again on The Looney Ghost Busters, which I just got done fixing after noticing a major plot hole in it. So, here is...
Silver the Hedgehog's Interview on Sonic Generations
By: Sir Thomas Roberts
Notice: Crack fic, totally random, slight relation to Shadow the Nice Hedgehog
Inside a large film studio a plethora of cheering people were standing up and clapping upon the entrance of Mr. Tom Mademup, the host of video gaming's most popular T.V. show: Games Today. When Mr. Mademup, or Mr. M for short, sat down behind a desk with two cushy chairs next to it the crowd stopped cheering.
"Hello everybody it's great to be here," Said Mr. M, "So, I'm guessing that you've all had a chance to play the most recent addition to the Call of Duty family, Modern Warfare III. Unless of course you have enough sense to just wait till the Christmas deals start to buy it, or bought a Wii instead of an Xbox 360 or a PS3."*
Suddenly a random audience member stands up and yells, "Curse you Nintendo and your gimmicky video game systems! Cure you!"
"Okay? But because this is a T rated fan fic and Modern Warfare III is M rated, we will instead be talking about the most recent addition to the Sonic the Hedgehog series, Sonic Generations. First, I think that we all can agree that ever since Sonic Heroes the blue blur has been running straight down the toilet. But either he made a u-turn or SEGA got a pipe snake, but Sonic Generations has been getting a lot of positive reviews. So, to help us decide whether or not it's because it's a good game or just because of it's fan-service value, here's Silver the Hedgehog."
Silver then floated in and landed in one of the cushy chairs next to Mr. M's desk. "Hello Mr. Mademup, it's great to be here," Silver said.
"Ha ha, it's good to have you here Silver, and I already said that," Mr. M responded.
"But isn't that what people always say when they come into an interview?"
"You haven't been to many interviews, have you Mr. Silver?"
"Yeah, but it's all SEGA's fault, not mine." Silver pouted.
"Oh sounds like you don't have a too high opinion of your employers," Mr. M said smelling a scandal.
"Former employers, mind you," Silver said.
"Right, well what exactly do you hate about them?"
"Where do I begin! First there was that damn Sonic 06, the game was so glitchy and poorly scripted that people were never able to notice how awesome I was. Granted they did put me in both sonic rivals games for PSP, but I wasn't able to display the full range of my true awesomeness due to the fact that most sonic fans have a DS to play Sonic Rush or Advance."
"And what would you say makes you so awesome?"
"Well, first there's my psychokinesis, you don't see Sonic or Shadow moving things with their minds. Plus I can travel through time! I mean seriously, time travel."
"That is so true Mr. Silver, you were really screwed over. By any chance do you think that SEGA purposely made you look bad," Mr. M said, trying to exploit the scandal he smelled as much as possible. It smelled like fish tacos.
"Actually, yes I do!" Silver said, provoking a collective gasp from the audience, "All SEGA did was make me look bad to make their golden boy, the blue bastard himself, Sonic, look cool. And Sonic Generations, please, all it is, is just a lame attempt at FAN SERVICE!"
"I resent that totally un-epic remark!" suddenly all faces turned toward stage left as Sonic came running in. "Hey pot-head long time no see." Sonic said.
"What! Enough with the pot…you know what, forget it. Oh and by the way, you saw me during the filming for Sonic Generations, I had an optional boss level, jackass."
"Yeah, but, I probably forgot about you due to the total un-epicness of your lame optional levels. Cause, my levels were like, totally unoptional. duh huh huh huhn," Sonic said with laughter.
"Guys," Mr. M intervened, "Lets just sit down and talk about this calmly." Sonic then took a seat in the chair next to Silver. "Now Mr. Sonic, what's you opinion about Sonic Generations?"
"Well what can I say, I mean, it's epic, mainly because it has me in it that is," Sonic said.
"Oh, brother," Silver mumbled.
"I mean, dude, SEGA took like, every thing epic about all my other games, which is everything, and rolled it into one big burrito of epicness."
"So basically," Silver butted in, ignoring the burrito remark, "SEGA couldn't come up with anything original this time so they just repeated the same thing only they put two Sonics in it, big wup."
"Yo, don't you be dissin my epicness yo. Plus two Sonics just makes for twice the epicness. Plus, it also has two Tails, and since Tails has two tails, that's like, two times two, making it five times cooler, since I technically have two sidekicks because Tails had two tails. How many sidekicks do you have pot-head. Duh huh huhn," Sonic sneered.
"That doesn't even make any sense! Plus your math is off." Silver retorted.
"Guys." Mr. M said, rubbing him temples, "Can't we be a little more sensible."
"And I haven't even begun to complain about the game clunky controls, an ever present problem since Sonic Unleashed, or how uncreative the title is." Silver continued ignoring Mr. M.
"But Sonic Generations is a cool name because it has my name in it,, duh huh huh hud," Sonic sneered back.
"So what, I happened to have talked to Nintendo and they said that they would have called it Sonic Time Warp. That's a way cooler name."
"Ha, so your admitting that I'm cool because a title with my name in it is cool, duh huh…"
"No! I'm saying that according to your horrible logic the name Sonic Tome Warp should be cooler!"
"No way, because Nintendo came up with it, and Nintendo sucks."
"Hey, you shut up about Nintendo you SEGA stooges," Luigi randomly yelled from the audience.
"Shut up you Nintendo nimrod!" Sonic and Silver both yelled!
"Oh, mama mia, where did all the love go?" Luigi said slinking back into his seat.
"Clearly straight to heck," Mr. M answered, "Well that's all the time we have for today join us tomorrow for…" suddenly out of the stage floor burst a black hedgehog with a scraggly gray beard and a spoon.
"I did it," the black hedgehog said in a crazy old man voice, "I managed tas dug ma way out'a prison wid nothin but a spoon, he he he he he."
"Shadow!" Sonic, Silver, and Mr. M yelled in shock.
"Oh shit, I'm getting out of here!" Mr. M said as he ran back stage before something bad happened. Suddenly the author popped in from nowhere.
"Greetings everybody," the author said, "Due to the sudden wimping out of our current host I will be taking his place."
"You're just here so that you can better control this crack fic," Sonic said.
"Actually, I lost control about fifteen paragraphs ago. Any who, Shadow since you're here, what is your opinion of the new Sonic Generations game, Shadow, Shadow where are you?"
"I think he went to the bathroom," Silver said. Suddenly in the distance, a toilet flushes.
"Don' worry I'm back, jus had ta freshen up a beet," Shadow said walking back on stage, looking normal again, but still possessing a crazy old man accent, "And excuse ma voice, dat there prison food dose a number on ma throat." he then sat down in an extra chair that was brought in by the stage crew.
"Okay, now, back to the question," the author said in the midst of all the weirdness, "Shadow, what do you think about Sonic Generations?"
"Wait, wasn't this show out of time?" Silver asked.
"It's called a plot hole, crack fics are riddled with them, now shut up and let Shadow answer the question," the author said.
"Yeah, shut up ya pot-head!" Shadow sneered. Silver just grumbled.
"Well," Shadow started, "Despite Silver bein a pot-head…"
"Asshole!"
"…I gots to agree wid him. Sonic Generations sucks,"
"What," Sonic barked, "Dude, now your dissin my epic game, totally un-epic!"
"Are yous kiddin me! Dat game is rip off! And ta add ta all the other problems, Sonic stole ma theme song!" Shadow yelled accusingly at Sonic.
"That's a totally wild and un-epic accusation!" Sonic defended.
"Then explain ta me why Live an Learn is a playin when you get a power up durin ma boss battle! And I can get video ev-e-dence ta prove it!"
"Um Shadow," the author interjected, "You do realize that because this is literature, specifically bad literature, you can't get video evidence. Unless the reader opens a new tab, goes to youtube and searches 'Sonic Generations Shadow'."
"No one asked fo yo opinion!" Shadow griped in tune with his new Crazy old man voice.
"You don't have to yell you know," the author said calmly trying to regain some control of the story.
"SHUT UP!" all three hedgehogs yelled. The author then threw the story's rough draft over his head.
"You know what, screw this. I'm just going to leave and post what ever happens," the author angrily walked off to who knows where.
"So what now?" Silver asks.
"Hey, dat wipper snapper left his computer mabob!" Shadow yelled becoming even more like a crazy old man.
"That's a laptop you geezer," Sonic said. He then picked it up and looked at the screen and saw that this story was still up. "So, want to skip to the fight scene that we all knew was coming?"
"Sure," Shadow and Silver said.
"And do something about ma voice will ya!" Shadow yelled.
"Why are you still yelling?" Silver asked.
"What's dat!" Shadow yelled pulling out an ear horn, "I'm a little deef!"
"Please hurry and fix his voice," Silver said.
"On it," Sonic answered, which is the only un-rude, and normal thing he's said the whole story. He then typed on the computer, 'Sonic, Silver, and Shadow engaged in a mega epic battle of ultimate end all epicness. And Shadow got his voice back."
"Yes, my voice is back," Shadow said in his normal voice being cured or his hearing problem.
"Works for me," Silver said. He then used his psychic powers to bring down a scaffolding bar above the stage and droped it on Sonic and Shadow. "Ha ha, serves you all right for calling me pot head."
Suddenly, from underneath the rubble, Shadow bursts out carrying a bazooka. "Prepare to be owned Silver," he said.
"What, were the heck did you get a bazooka?" Silver asked.
"I bought it at Wal-Mart." Shadow then fired the bazooka. The rocket hit Silver in the chest but instead of exploding it carried him into the crowd who were all screaming and running towards the exits. Silver sat up in the small crater he made when he landed, with the unexploded rocket next to him.
"That was a lucky break," Silver said. Then the rocket exploded.
Silver stood up in the larger crater and shook off the soot he was covered in, "I thought the author was on my side? Oh, right, he quit." Silver said.
Shadow just laughed, "Fool no one can beat me, because I can wield firearms." Sonic quickly rushed out from underneath the rubble and held up a sign that said: 'Kids don't play with guns' to avoid any lawsuit. He then swiftly spin dashed into Shadow.
"Serves you right for accusing me of steeling your theme song,"
"But you did you bastard!" Shadow said as he prepared to shoot a chaos spear at Sonic, but was cut short by a chair landing on him. When he got up he saw Silver levitating a bunch of chairs with his powers.
"This is just because I don't like you!" Silver yelled right as he started to fire chairs at Sonic and Shadow in a machine gun style. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he screamed. Unfortunately, shadow and sonic managed to dodge the chairs by running along the walls opposite to each other. Shadow then jumped behind Silver and the action went slow motion.
"Ccchhhaaaooosss bbblllaaasssttt!" He yelled in a low warped voice.
"Ooohhh, sssooonnn ooofff aaa…" but everything went back to normal speed and exploded before Silver could finish.
Shadow dropped down out of nowhere onto the pile of rubble that was left. "Mwah ha ha ha haaaaa," he laughed, "I've done it. I have become the most epic of the three SEGA hedgehogs, ha ha ha."
"Shadow you un-epic fool," a voice said.
"What!" behind Shadow, Sonic burst out from under the rubble using his spin dash.
"You forgot one thing," Sonic said.
"That's right," Silver said floating down from nowhere, "You did forget something,"
"What is my fly undone?"
"No Shadow," Sonic and Silver said together, "You forgot that all final boss battles come in twos!"
"And we don't even wear pants," Silver said, "And now, I call upon the power of the plot hole to summon…" A glowing portal then appeared above Silver, "THE CHAOS EMERALDS!" in a burst of light, the emeralds floated down from the portal and transformed Silver into… Super Silver!
"Ha ha, now you will never defeat me," Super Silver said.
"Once again you've epically failed, Silver," Sonic said, "Because me and Shadow can also use chaos control." in two more bursts of light Sonic and Shadow turned in to… Super Sonic and Super Shadow.
"Now the true fight begins," Super Shadow said as they all flew toward each other. But when they collided, instead of starting an epic battle, they started a slap fight.
"Wait a minute!" Super Silver said after a few minutes, "This is getting us nowhere."
"You're right," Super Shadow said, "But I know how to fix this. CHAOS CONTROL!" in yet another flash of light, the three super hedgehogs were transported to the Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati, Ohio.
After looking around Super Sonic asked, "What was the point of teleporting us to Cincinnati?"
"I don't know, this fan fiction is making less and less sense buy the paragraph." Shadow answered, "Anyways I'm going to buy a hotdog." Super Shadow then floated over to a hotdog vender who happened to be there despite the fact that there was no game going on.
"Should we just continue fighting while he get his hotdog?" Super Silver asked Super Sonic.
"Finally you have a good idea, pot-head." Super Sonic said.
"Grrrr, enough with the pot head! And that was the only idea I've had the whole story…that did not come out right," Super Silver quickly fired a blast of psychic energy at Super Sonic, who dogged it and did a super spin dash at Super Silver who was pile dived in to the home dugout. Super Silver then got up and used his powers to throw a bunch of energy infused bats and baseballs at Super Sonic. Super Sonic dodged them, but one of the bats hit Super Shadow eating his hot dog exploded in a blast of mustard and relish.
"Damn you Silver! Don't you have any respect for the classic American ball park food!" the infuriated super hedgehog snapped.
"I thought that was peanuts?" Super Silver asked.
"Actually, I prefer crackerjacks, cause there epic!" Super Sonic said.
"SHUT UP!" Super Shadow yelled as he threw chaos spears at the other two super hedgehogs.
While dodging the chaos spears, Super Silver thought, 'I need to hurry up and end this,'
"Now," Super Silver said, "I again call upon the power of the plot hole to summon," another portal appeared next to Super Silver's, "BLAZE THE CAT!"
Blaze then jumped out of the portal.
"Duh huh hun. You would summon Blaze with a plot hole," Super Sonic said.
"Hey, I may be a plot hole," Blaze said, "But a least…at least, actually, I haven't been in enough games to come up with a good come back."
"I knew it," Super Shadow said, "Blaze is just as lame as Silver!"
"Argh, forget this!" Blaze said, "Silver catch!" Blaze then tossed Super Silver the Sol Emeralds. Silver caught them and in a burst of muliti-colored lights gained a pair of rainbow colored angel wings making him…Super Sol Silver. And as soon as Super Silver went Super Sol Silver, Blaze tapped into the power of the sol emeralds to become…Burning blaze and flew up next to Super Sol Silver
"Now I have unlocked the ultimate power of the Sol emeralds and, even though it's really cheesy, the power of friendship. I cannot be defeated!" Super Sol Silver said in a cool sprit like voice.
"Oh yeah," said Super Sonic, "Because I call upon the power of epicness to summon…" two story books titled, "The Arabian Nights" and "Le Morte de Author". "the SEVEN WORLD RINGS AND THE FOUR SACRED SWORDS!" the previously mentioned item burst out of their respective story books and merged with Super Sonic giving him a set of purple armor and an epic sword, immediately transforming him into… Super Dark Excalibur Sonic!
"Duh huh huh hun, I now have the power of three sets of super subjects," Super Dark Excalibur Sonic said in an epic spirit voice, "And because I have four objects multiplied by my epicness level of twenty-six it makes me 89.84554937409% more powerfully epic because I have…"
"Shut up you idiot that makes no sense!" Super Sol Silver and Super Shadow yelled.
"Plus you math is way off!" Super Sol Silver added.
"Yes," Super Shadow said, "For I also have one last trick up my nonexistent sleeve. Now, I call upon the power of the emo to summon…" a motor bike can be heard in the distance, "WARIO!"
"WHAT!" Super Dark Excalibur Sonic and Super Sol Silver said in shock. Then Wario burst onto base ball diamond on his motor cycle. As soon as he stopped on the pitcher's mound Bugs Bunny ran on to the field.
"Eh, what's up doc?" you-probably-know-who said.
The hedgehogs just let it go due to the fact that this fiction in now in the negative range on the percent scale of common sense. In fact, that last sentence probably didn't make any sense.
"Now Wario," Shadow said, "Take this and end this fight!" In an awesome baseball pitch, since we're still in the Great American Ball Park, Shadow tossed Wario a can of atomic beans. Wario tore open the can and wolfed down the beans. When he was finished, his stomach started to budgie.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Super Dark Excalibur Sonic, Super Sol Silver, Burning Blaze, and Bugs Bunny yelled. Then in an explosion so powerful that if this fiction tried to described it the readers computer would blow up, Wario unleashed…THE NUCLER FART OF ULIMATE STINK! Then reality imploded, exploded, turned in side out, ran through a blender, exploded again, imploded and unleashed an explosion so powerful that it was able to fix reality and actually bring some rationality back to this fan fiction.
"Ahhhhhhh!" Silver yelled as he sat up in bed, "I just had the worst dream ever, Me Sonic, and Shadow were in a completely ridiculous fight, and Shadow summoned Wario and destroyed reality. Thank goodness it was only a dream." Then his phone rang.
"Hello, Silver the Hedgehog speaking," he said.
"Yeah, Silver, hi, it's me Blaze. I sorry to have to tell you this but, I'm breaking up with you,"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Silver yelled, "This can't be happening!"
"Ahhhhhhh!" Shadow yelled as he sat up in his bunk in jail, "Man that dream was awesome! I managed to pown Sonic and Silver! Nothing could ruin this moment." Then the jailer walked in.
"Hello Shadow, meet your new cell mate," He said. He then moved aside to reveal Patrick Starfish.
"Hey mac, what you in here for?" Patrick said in his usual stupid voice.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shadow yelled, "Why can't this be a dream too!"
"Ahhhhhhh!" Sonic yelled sitting up in his bed, "I just had the most un-epic dre
am ever! SEGA replaced my voice actor and the other sonic character's voice actors with horrendously lame ones!" after hearing Sonic scream Tails came into Sonic's bedroom.
"Actually," he said, "That was earlier this year,"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sonic yelled, "Why me!"
Yes, we have one more joke.
Inside an underground laboratory in Japan, Dr. Eggman was sitting at a desk laughing to himself. "Ho ho ho ho ho, finally it's done, the plans for my latest engineering marvel is done! And with It I will finally top Psycho Mantis on IGN's top 100 video game villians list, Ho ho ho ho!"
In the distance he heard three hedgehogs yell, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Ugh, for co workers, they're horribly unsupportive."
THE END
(finally)
Kindly Review
*Heh heh, um, this just cane to my attention, but there really is a Wii version of Modern Warfare 3. but i'm to lazy to chang it. :-P