Duke looked at Scarlett from across the table. "Is this weird?" he asked.
Scarlett sighed. "It's not... *not* weird."
"So you feel it too?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"This isn't going to work, is it?"
"I'm sorry, Duke."
Regretfully, Duke said, "Well, then, we can always say we tried."
"That's what I was thinking. We can feel good about that, right? I mean, this was clearly a mistake."
"I agree. No more sushi in the mess."
Duke and Scarlett put down their poorly-wrapped California rolls and simultaneously pushed their trays away. "Clearly, the army does not know what to do with raw fish. Listen, I have to get back to the office," Duke said. "Are you going to be around later?"
"I am, as a matter of fact. Did you want to watch a movie, or -"
"Well, I was thinking we could actually, you know, leave the base for one night. You know, for dinner or um, something."
Scarlett smiled. "Conrad Hauser, are -" She was interrupted by a chorus of female voices from the other side of the mess shouting "We love you, Conrad! WOO!" She then proceeded to ignore them as she completed her thought, "are you asking me out on a date?"
Duke smiled. "I guess I am."
"It's about time. Pick me up at seven." She stood, smiled at Duke, and crossed the room to the source of the commotion. It had been nearly two weeks since she and Duke confessed their feelings for each other in a refrigerated meat locker, of all places, and she had spent those two weeks over the moon. Nothing could get in the way of her happiness... although the girls had certainly been having fun with her. Scarlett reached their table and immediately hissed at them, "You are all seven years old."
Lady Jaye, Scarlett's best friend and roommate, grinned. "Oh, stop. You can't even be mad. We'll be good."
Scarlett sat down. "Good, because Conrad and I -"
"WOO! CONRAD!"
"-DUKE and I are going to have a hard enough time making this work with all the frat rules we'll have to angle around without you guys acting like children."
"To be fair, some of us *are* children," said Cover Girl, still dressed in civilian clothes; she was on extended medical leave after the last run with Cobra had put her in the hospital. She was, however, in relatively fine shape and ornery as ever.
"Are you talking about me?" asked Cricket, the youngest and most recent recruit to the Joe team. "Don't blame me, Shana. I was led astray. I fell under the ministrations of these two and cannot be held accountable for my actions."
"Enough. Pains in my ass."
"I have an uncle Conrad," Cover Girl said. "He's eighty-five and he wears a bow tie to go to the supermarket every day. He's the most adorable thing you've ever seen."
"Is it weird that it's taken this long for him to actually ask to be seen in public with me?" Shana asked. "I mean, it's been two weeks."
"Almost feels like five years," Cricket muttered.
"Huh?"
"Nothing. Go on."
"I mean it. Allie," Shana said, turning to Lady Jaye, "when you and Flint started out, how long was it before he actualy took you out?"
"Well... not long. But remember, Flint isn't in charge. He doesn't have General Hawk breathing down his neck all day."
Cricket started, "Yeah, I mean, it's not like Conrad -"
"WOO! CONRAD!"
"Are you going to do that every time someone says his name?" Shana asked.
"Probably, until we get bored with it. But it's not like Duke can just slip away unoticed," Cricket said. "He's basically on call 24-7."
"I know, Mae, but still. I mean. I've had a great time with him over the past couple of weeks, watching movies and stuff, but... we did that before, you know?"
"Oh, noes!" exclaimed Cover Girl. "My ruggedly handsome, tall, powerful boyfriend is finally able to take time out of commanding his strike force! Oh! All my diamonds are weighing me down! Oh! What could I possibly do with all these lottery winnings? Woe is unto me!" She rolled her eyes. "Face it, Shan. You landed a good one. Stop looking for reasons for it to go wrong."
Shana looked embarrassed. "Am I being ridiculous?"
"Yes," everyone said in unison.
"All right, I'll behave. So how was Boston?"
Mae lit up. "It was great. I got to see my brother Jack, and Courtney got to stop a robbery by snatching the gun out of the guy's hands and clobbering him with it, and then my four-year-old nephew walked in on her in the bathroom three times. Good times were had by all."
Cover Girl played with her food. "That kid is a menace."
"That kid is *four*. He liked you and wanted to see where you were."
"How are you feeling, Courtney? Any better?" Shana asked.
"Much. I'm still pretty stiff, and there's some occasional pain, but I feel a lot better. Doc says I should be back in the motor pool in a couple of weeks."
Allie smirked. "Yeah, I can see why you'd be desperate to get back there. Always a bet, always a prank, always some insipid stunt going on."
Courtney lit up. "I know, right?"
*****
A few hours later, Courtney was in the living room of the apartment she shared with Mae, strumming idly on her guitar, and wondering, not for the first time, how Cobra managed to get half their insane ideas off the ground. Almost everyone else was out tending to Cobra's latest plot, which apparently had something to do with taking over a UHF TV station and putting on puppet shows or something. She was watching it for a while, and actually managed to get some perverse pleasure out of watching Destro try his hand at being the man of a thousand voices. As she watched, she realized she was thinking very seriously about getting up and going to the station, which she supposed meant that Cobra had some kind of hypnotic device at work.
Eventually, the signal was lost, which she realized meant the Joes had arrived on the scene and were stomping on Cobras. Soon, the door burst open, and a completely mud-soaked Cricket stomped in, muttering under her breath about Beach Head.
"I thought you were at the station," Courtney said. "What happened to you?"
"They didn't need me, so I stuck to the duty roster. I've just been in PT."
"Ah."
"It's raining."
"Yes, I can hear it."
"And the course got a little muddy."
"So I surmised."
"And Beach Head hates me."
"He doesn't hate you."
"Yes, he does."
"Well, Beach hates everyone."
"If you need me, I'll be hosing myself off." As she stomped into the bathroom, the muttering continued.
When she could hear the shower being turned off, Courtney called out, "A package came for you. It's from your brother."
"What is it?"
"How should I know?"
"Go ahead and open it," Mae called from the bathroom.
Courtney opened the box and was face to face with... "An accordion?"
"What? Hang on." Mae padded out to the living room, wrapped in a towel. "He sent me my accordion? Sweet." She lifted the instrument out of its box and put it on.
"Are you seriously going to tell me you play this thing?" Courtney asked. A few bars of "Cold Slither" was her answer. "My God. When I think you've finally reached the limits of dorkiness, you manage to surprise me."
"Hey now. Don't mock. Learning this thing kept me out of trouble when I was a kid. I hated every minute of it but I'm so glad I did."
"But... really? The accordion?"
"Our landlord taught it. Jack got him to give me lessons." She started playing "Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam" as there was a knock on the door. "It's open," she called.
Shana entered, appraised the situation, and said "Well, aren't you a sight. You know what's fun? Pants."
"What?" She looked down at her dripping wet, towel-clad self. "Oops. Forgot." Mae went into her bedroom, playing "Hey Joe" as she walked.
Shana turned to Courtney. "I'm so glad she's not my roommate. She's going to drive you crazy with that thing. You realize this, don't you?"
"I'm already thinking about how I'm going to get rid of it. What's up?"
"I need your help. I have no idea what to wear tonight. How formal do I make this?"
"Do you know where you're going?"
"No idea. He says he wants to surprise me."
"All right. Let's go look through your closet." They turned to leave the apartment when Lady Jaye, in full uniform, came bursting in. She was panting, like she had been running flat out.
"Allie?" asked Courtney. "What is it?"
"It's Duke," Allie replied. "He's been captured by Cobra."