OOO
Pansy's surprised that Draco hasn't caught on yet. After all, it's not like she's normally the type to rat someone else out. Not even she is that cruel. But when the Dark Lord asks for Harry Potter, something in her makes her step forward, makes her suggest that they comply with the monster's demands. And she knows exactly why she does it. It's not because she hates Potter, and it's most certainly not because she agrees with the views of her Death Eater of a father. It's because of Draco. It's all because of Draco, always has been.
He's a Death Eater now, and Pansy knows how seriously he takes it. So is it so wrong that she wants Draco's attention? All she wanted was his acceptance, for him to join her and agree with her ideas, to defend her when the rest of Hogwarts looks at her with scorn and hatred. But he doesn't say anything. Draco just stands there, looking pale and drawn and traumatized for what's to come. And he doesn't even realize what he's doing, what he isn't doing. He's supposed to be defending her now, or to be giving her a rare smile, one like the ones he used to give her in the previous years, the years before he found out what war really meant.
But Draco doesn't move, and the only thing left for Pansy to do is exit in humiliation with the rest of the Slytherins. Blaise gives her a scornful look, and she knows why. Blaise has been warning her since the middle of sixth year that Draco doesn't care for her anymore. Blaise knows that Draco's mind is now filled with thoughts of his mother, of his father, of the Dark Lord. None of those thoughts, not even one of them, has to do with her.
Blaise has tried to convince Pansy to give up. He's told her that it's pointless, that Draco isn't the same Draco Malfoy she fell in love with. The arrogant, strutting, sarcastic, yet wonderfully loyal and kind at times Draco Malfoy is no more. In his place is a haunted memory that's only purpose is keeping in life is keeping his family alive and avoiding death. But she doesn't care, and she tells Blaise so. If Draco won't pay attention to her, she can fix it. Pansy knows how to get people to pay attention to her. She's an expert at it, isn't she? After all, it takes particular skill to get all of Hogwarts to hate you by saying only one sentence.
But Draco still doesn't look at her with anything other than a calm glance of acknowledgment.
He doesn't see the worried and devastated look she gives in return.
He doesn't hear the sound of her heart breaking every time he passes her in the hallways, every time he ignores her questions, every time he is too busy staring into the green fireplace to pretend to laugh at her weak jokes.
And Pansy can't find it in herself to hate him, because he doesn't sense what he's doing. He doesn't sense how much pain he's bringing her. No, Draco Malfoy doesn't seem to sense anything these days except for the pain of his parents and the anger of the Dark Lord.
So Pansy promises herself that she will follow Blaise's advice. This will be the last time she pines after someone who crushes her spirit every time she sees him. This will be the last time she humiliates herself in hopes of acceptance, in hopes of regaining her old friend and maybe, just maybe, in hopes of love. Pansy Parkinson will forget Draco Malfoy. She will move on, because she deserves it. She may have led a life of wickedness and spite, but she deserves more than despair and depression. She deserves to have one night, just one night where she doesn't fall asleep with tears streaking down her face. Doesn't she?
But she doesn't. And she never will. So Pansy never forgets Draco. Her heart slowly heals, but the small crack still remains. And nothing will ever fill it, that she knows.
OOO
I watched The Deathly Hallows a few hours ago, and was in the mood for writing, so this was born.
I've always thought Pansy was an interesting character. Also, it's always bugged me how J. K. Rowling uses the "They're Slytherins, that means they're evil monsters without consciousnesses" as an excuse for all bad behavior from the Slytherins. I mean, I know it's her world, but I don't think Pansy would just give up Harry because she's an "evil Slytherin".
Or maybe she would.
Oh well.
Anyway, I hope you guys liked this one-shot! Sure, it's kinda angsty, and pretty short, but it was actually fun and interesting to write, so I hope you all enjoyed it.
Please review! I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Sincerely,
ItsOnMars :)