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--------
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SW elements Lucas and his
pimps do…yayayaya.
617 Duncanville Road
Episode 1: Introduction
By
Smudge
"DO YOU HAVE
ANY COMPREHENSION OF WHAT I GO THROUGH!?!?" Smudge screamed like a
howler monkey
as she gave the plastic punching bag on more swing. "I live in a house,
with one
bathroom, 10 fan fiction writers and the testosterone side of the Star
Wars
Universe!! One kitchen, one refrigerator, one ounce of sanity left in
my entire
body and mind!!" her sentence was finished with a side kick to the
punching bag
that sent it swinging into a glass of water, that was promptly combined
with the
plush, white carpet of Dr. Smith's office and study for psychology.
"Yes, well
Ms. Fuentes I believe we have made more progress in this session than
we have
the past 8. Why don't you come back next Saturday so we can talk about
how to
improve your short temper, until then, try not to hit your housemates.
Okay?"
Smudge rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag, swung it over her shoulder
and
headed out the door, "Bye Dr. Smith." She fumbled with her keys in her
jacket
pocket and with a small lapse of thought she began to dial her home
phone number
on her yellow cell phone. Pick up, pick up, she thought with
anticipation, who knows what shape her house was in. Finally an answer,
"What?!?!" a squeaky voice rang through the phone so loudly Smudge had
to hold
it away from her ear. "Anakin 1 it's Smudge, is any of the writers
there?"
Smudge could already tell it was 9 year old Anakin, his voice was
becoming so
high pitched she could of sworn it was mickey mouse that she always had
to make
sure stayed out of trouble. "Um…the writers….well they're out at the
movies.
Yea, had to go see some Mel Gibson movie, all of them were arguing if
he was
more like Luke or Obi-Wan." Smudge sighed as she unlocked her '98 red
Volkswagen
beetle. "Well, what's going on over there?" she cried realizing she
should of
known better than to leave him there with all those irresponsible men.
"Well….ya
know your secret compartment of vodka and tequila?" Smudge froze,
nervously
dreading what was about to come next, "Yes…what about it Ani?" she
spoke
cautiously, taking note of the sound of glass breaking and raucous
laughter in
the background. "It's not much of secret anymore." Smudge moaned and
slammed her
head on the car horn, drinking in the terrible noise it made. "Okay
Anakin One,
I want you to safely put away anything breakable, all the kitchen
knives,
blasters, lightsabers, anything that can do harm to my house or anyone
else. And
tell Maul and Anakin Two that if they took my undergarments, I'll rip
their
tongues out of their heads and wrap them around their necks. Got it?"
she
finished with starting the car's ignition. "Got it babe." And with that
the
connection to her real life universe of confusion, nonsense and utter
mayhem was
cut off. One thing was for sure she was going to kill anyone who
crossed her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Give
it to me you stupid elf!!" Anakin One cried, as he played tug-a-war
with the
green jedi master. "Take my gimmer stick you will not!!" Yoda pulled
insistently, "But Smudge told me to!!" Anakin One pressed his lips
together,
grudging and pulling the stick with all his might, this guy was pretty
strong
for a tree stump. "Bite me, Smudge can!!" finally, tired of the game,
Yoda sent
a surge of the Force, pushing young Anakin into the wall. "Hey! No
Force using
in the house!!" Smudge cried as she dumped her stuff by the door,
taking off her
shoes as she went. "Instructed him to take my magic wand, you did."
Yoda accused
Smudge, slapping her on the leg with his stick. Smudge exhaled loudly
as she
bent down to pick up the old sandwich that was left in hallway floor.
"Pigs."
She mumbled to herself. At that moment everyone burst into the room,
yelling,
laughing, all talking at once. Lando and Han were singing, "Macho,
Macho Man.
I've got to be, a macho man!!" doing the robot as they went. "Look
Fabio—my hair
style is a classic. You will always see a bald man, but this whole
hippie thang
will be out within two weeks!" Mace Windu and Qui-Gon were at it again,
"Why you
bald mother—" Smudge drained out the next two syllables. R2D2 spun his
head round and began to
whistle at Smudge, "No, I haven't paid the phone bill. And who has been
making
calls to Coruscant!?!?" she screamed, but her voice was not heard in
all the
commotion. Suddenly, coming down the stairs in all his evilness
Palpatine,
wearing nothing more than mint green towel, pink furby slippers and a
yellow
duck shower cap, seemed to grab the attention of everyone, "Has anyone
seen my
Skin-So-Soft Lotion?" he said in a delightful voice. His smile faded as
he
realized that everyone was staring at him in silence. "What?" All the
men broke
into unstoppable laughter and Palpatine spoke out in vain, "You
insolent fools!
You just wait when you are all old and your skin looks like a burnt
leather
bag!! Then you will wish you had known that Palpatine was right all
along!!" he
stuck his nose in the air and went out to the patio, everyone still
laughing.
"I'm outta here." Smudge said in disgust. She climbed up the stairs and
walked
down the right hall, the writer's hall. Smudge had made sure when
everyone was
moving in that all the female writers were separated from the males of
Star
Wars. She wasn't about to promote…..promiscuous acts, even though she
knew they
occurred anyways. Some of the girls were in love with these guys and
would do
anything for them, and the men were more than happy to take advantage
of that
fact. But Smudge on the other hand, refused to bend to them, despite
the
numerous advances that were made on her. She opened her door to a site
that
would probably send her back to therapy for 3 more consecutive years.
There
going through her drawers was Anakin Skywalker Two, the 19 year old one
and
Darth Maul having a field day with her bras and underwear. "WHAT ARE
YOU
DOING!?!?" They turned their heads quickly towards Smudge and smiled
sheepishly.
"Just evaluated and confiscating the cargo sweet heart." Anakin
quickly responded, which was
accompanied by Maul's always nerve-racking gaze. They all jumped when
they heard
a loud THUMP!! Which seemed to be coming towards the closet. "I paid
the
exterminator five hundred dollars and he still doesn't get rid of
rats!" She
grabbed a huge, thick book of
How-To-Survive-That-Subliminal-Portal-Of-Doom-Called-Your-Life-Guide
and held it
prepared whatever creature of destruction waited for her. She swung
open the
door only to spot Luke cradling his one naked foot and they other was
set inside
her red pumps. "You're trying on my shoes?!" He gave a lopsided grin
that must
of come from too many years spent with Han. "I was…just…ya know…I—"
Smudge
inhaled her anger and spat it out like a spit wad, "GET OUT OF THERE
FARM BOY!!
And you two as well!!" She grabbed Luke and Maul by the arm dragging
them into
the hallway, both hitting the next wall barely missing Prince Xizor.
Smudge
turned towards Anakin, "Are you gonna be a big boy or do I need to
escort you
out?" she gritted through her teeth. He smiled and began to make his
way towards
the door, not to mention her. "Will you hold my hand if I'm not one?"
his voice
was low and made Smudge weak in the knees, but she was not about to
give in.
"JUST GET OUT YOU PERVERT!!" Anakin slightly laughed in amusement and
leaned his
face right next to hers, and when he spoke his lips barely brushed
hers. "Don't
worry—I won't let you off that easily." He shut the door with a wink,
returning
to go hit on whatever other girl he decided he wanted to use or to go
beat up on
Jar-Jar, whichever order they came in first. Smudge realized she had
made a big
mistake only letting the male Star Wars characters rent rooms, because
if they
were here half of the men wouldn't be dating any of the writers. But
she
supposed the female population of the house 617 Duncanville Rd.
wouldn't be two
happy about that proposal. Oh well, I guess I'll just let them have
their
fun. Smudge smiled as she heard
the writers come in the front door, all returning from the movie. She
remembered
that she had to hurry to be the first one in the shower, so she grabbed
her
things and made a run for it.
Okay everyone,
I thought this would be really fun and hilarious to have all the female
SW fans
wish come true. To live in the same house as their favorite male SW
characters.
I'm making this into lots of series and I'm accepting ideas and stories
from
y'all. So if you want to do an episode and be in one just e-mail me at:
swaydapsycho@hotmail.com you can send me full
stories featuring you or whatever or you and I or someone else can do
an
interactive story together via e-mail and then put it as a full episode
here.
And please, please review this!! I know it's not that good but that's
why you
review!!
Cc:
Bcc:
Subject:
--------
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SW elements Lucas and his
pimps do…yayayaya.
617 Duncanville Road
Episode 1: Introduction
By
Smudge
"DO YOU HAVE
ANY COMPREHENSION OF WHAT I GO THROUGH!?!?" Smudge screamed like a
howler monkey
as she gave the plastic punching bag on more swing. "I live in a house,
with one
bathroom, 10 fan fiction writers and the testosterone side of the Star
Wars
Universe!! One kitchen, one refrigerator, one ounce of sanity left in
my entire
body and mind!!" her sentence was finished with a side kick to the
punching bag
that sent it swinging into a glass of water, that was promptly combined
with the
plush, white carpet of Dr. Smith's office and study for psychology.
"Yes, well
Ms. Fuentes I believe we have made more progress in this session than
we have
the past 8. Why don't you come back next Saturday so we can talk about
how to
improve your short temper, until then, try not to hit your housemates.
Okay?"
Smudge rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag, swung it over her shoulder
and
headed out the door, "Bye Dr. Smith." She fumbled with her keys in her
jacket
pocket and with a small lapse of thought she began to dial her home
phone number
on her yellow cell phone. Pick up, pick up, she thought with
anticipation, who knows what shape her house was in. Finally an answer,
"What?!?!" a squeaky voice rang through the phone so loudly Smudge had
to hold
it away from her ear. "Anakin 1 it's Smudge, is any of the writers
there?"
Smudge could already tell it was 9 year old Anakin, his voice was
becoming so
high pitched she could of sworn it was mickey mouse that she always had
to make
sure stayed out of trouble. "Um…the writers….well they're out at the
movies.
Yea, had to go see some Mel Gibson movie, all of them were arguing if
he was
more like Luke or Obi-Wan." Smudge sighed as she unlocked her '98 red
Volkswagen
beetle. "Well, what's going on over there?" she cried realizing she
should of
known better than to leave him there with all those irresponsible men.
"Well….ya
know your secret compartment of vodka and tequila?" Smudge froze,
nervously
dreading what was about to come next, "Yes…what about it Ani?" she
spoke
cautiously, taking note of the sound of glass breaking and raucous
laughter in
the background. "It's not much of secret anymore." Smudge moaned and
slammed her
head on the car horn, drinking in the terrible noise it made. "Okay
Anakin One,
I want you to safely put away anything breakable, all the kitchen
knives,
blasters, lightsabers, anything that can do harm to my house or anyone
else. And
tell Maul and Anakin Two that if they took my undergarments, I'll rip
their
tongues out of their heads and wrap them around their necks. Got it?"
she
finished with starting the car's ignition. "Got it babe." And with that
the
connection to her real life universe of confusion, nonsense and utter
mayhem was
cut off. One thing was for sure she was going to kill anyone who
crossed her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Give
it to me you stupid elf!!" Anakin One cried, as he played tug-a-war
with the
green jedi master. "Take my gimmer stick you will not!!" Yoda pulled
insistently, "But Smudge told me to!!" Anakin One pressed his lips
together,
grudging and pulling the stick with all his might, this guy was pretty
strong
for a tree stump. "Bite me, Smudge can!!" finally, tired of the game,
Yoda sent
a surge of the Force, pushing young Anakin into the wall. "Hey! No
Force using
in the house!!" Smudge cried as she dumped her stuff by the door,
taking off her
shoes as she went. "Instructed him to take my magic wand, you did."
Yoda accused
Smudge, slapping her on the leg with his stick. Smudge exhaled loudly
as she
bent down to pick up the old sandwich that was left in hallway floor.
"Pigs."
She mumbled to herself. At that moment everyone burst into the room,
yelling,
laughing, all talking at once. Lando and Han were singing, "Macho,
Macho Man.
I've got to be, a macho man!!" doing the robot as they went. "Look
Fabio—my hair
style is a classic. You will always see a bald man, but this whole
hippie thang
will be out within two weeks!" Mace Windu and Qui-Gon were at it again,
"Why you
bald mother—" Smudge drained out the next two syllables. R2D2 spun his
head round and began to
whistle at Smudge, "No, I haven't paid the phone bill. And who has been
making
calls to Coruscant!?!?" she screamed, but her voice was not heard in
all the
commotion. Suddenly, coming down the stairs in all his evilness
Palpatine,
wearing nothing more than mint green towel, pink furby slippers and a
yellow
duck shower cap, seemed to grab the attention of everyone, "Has anyone
seen my
Skin-So-Soft Lotion?" he said in a delightful voice. His smile faded as
he
realized that everyone was staring at him in silence. "What?" All the
men broke
into unstoppable laughter and Palpatine spoke out in vain, "You
insolent fools!
You just wait when you are all old and your skin looks like a burnt
leather
bag!! Then you will wish you had known that Palpatine was right all
along!!" he
stuck his nose in the air and went out to the patio, everyone still
laughing.
"I'm outta here." Smudge said in disgust. She climbed up the stairs and
walked
down the right hall, the writer's hall. Smudge had made sure when
everyone was
moving in that all the female writers were separated from the males of
Star
Wars. She wasn't about to promote…..promiscuous acts, even though she
knew they
occurred anyways. Some of the girls were in love with these guys and
would do
anything for them, and the men were more than happy to take advantage
of that
fact. But Smudge on the other hand, refused to bend to them, despite
the
numerous advances that were made on her. She opened her door to a site
that
would probably send her back to therapy for 3 more consecutive years.
There
going through her drawers was Anakin Skywalker Two, the 19 year old one
and
Darth Maul having a field day with her bras and underwear. "WHAT ARE
YOU
DOING!?!?" They turned their heads quickly towards Smudge and smiled
sheepishly.
"Just evaluated and confiscating the cargo sweet heart." Anakin
quickly responded, which was
accompanied by Maul's always nerve-racking gaze. They all jumped when
they heard
a loud THUMP!! Which seemed to be coming towards the closet. "I paid
the
exterminator five hundred dollars and he still doesn't get rid of
rats!" She
grabbed a huge, thick book of
How-To-Survive-That-Subliminal-Portal-Of-Doom-Called-Your-Life-Guide
and held it
prepared whatever creature of destruction waited for her. She swung
open the
door only to spot Luke cradling his one naked foot and they other was
set inside
her red pumps. "You're trying on my shoes?!" He gave a lopsided grin
that must
of come from too many years spent with Han. "I was…just…ya know…I—"
Smudge
inhaled her anger and spat it out like a spit wad, "GET OUT OF THERE
FARM BOY!!
And you two as well!!" She grabbed Luke and Maul by the arm dragging
them into
the hallway, both hitting the next wall barely missing Prince Xizor.
Smudge
turned towards Anakin, "Are you gonna be a big boy or do I need to
escort you
out?" she gritted through her teeth. He smiled and began to make his
way towards
the door, not to mention her. "Will you hold my hand if I'm not one?"
his voice
was low and made Smudge weak in the knees, but she was not about to
give in.
"JUST GET OUT YOU PERVERT!!" Anakin slightly laughed in amusement and
leaned his
face right next to hers, and when he spoke his lips barely brushed
hers. "Don't
worry—I won't let you off that easily." He shut the door with a wink,
returning
to go hit on whatever other girl he decided he wanted to use or to go
beat up on
Jar-Jar, whichever order they came in first. Smudge realized she had
made a big
mistake only letting the male Star Wars characters rent rooms, because
if they
were here half of the men wouldn't be dating any of the writers. But
she
supposed the female population of the house 617 Duncanville Rd.
wouldn't be two
happy about that proposal. Oh well, I guess I'll just let them have
their
fun. Smudge smiled as she heard
the writers come in the front door, all returning from the movie. She
remembered
that she had to hurry to be the first one in the shower, so she grabbed
her
things and made a run for it.
Okay everyone,
I thought this would be really fun and hilarious to have all the female
SW fans
wish come true. To live in the same house as their favorite male SW
characters.
I'm making this into lots of series and I'm accepting ideas and stories
from
y'all. So if you want to do an episode and be in one just e-mail me at:
swaydapsycho@hotmail.com you can send me full
stories featuring you or whatever or you and I or someone else can do
an
interactive story together via e-mail and then put it as a full episode
here.
And please, please review this!! I know it's not that good but that's
why you
review!!