As Serenity soared through outer space, its inhabitants were anything but serene. They had witnessed and experienced some of the most terrifying and awful things that anyone has ever beheld. Their dearest friends and loved ones, Wash and the Shepherd, had been killed in their battle against the reavers and in their struggle to reveal a horrific secret to the universe. The absence of Wash was overpowering. Zoe seemed lost and was inconsolable. The vitality that had once shown in her eyes was now gone, and her expression was continually emotionless and dead looking. But she was not the only one in mourning. Everyone was miserable. Even Kaylee was far from her usually optimistic and cheerful self. None of it was right. Wash and the Shepherd were good people. Shepherd was a man of God, even. They did not deserve to die. It wasn't fair, and it was horrible.

How they managed to survive was a wonder to them. If it had not been for River, they would all be dead. No one would have guessed that she would be their savior. Her mental state was still far from normal, but she seemed stable. She enjoyed flying the ship, having something to distract her from her upsetting memories. And now that she needed less looking-after, Simon was finally able to allow himself to be intimate with Kaylee. Their love brought a little hope and bliss to suppress at least some of the sorrow that was ever-present.

Although Jayne was still as egotistical and selfish as ever, the severe events, and the deaths, that had just occurred seemed to mature him a bit. He was more reverent than he had ever been, and the crew was thankful for it.

Although Mal was thankful to be alive, he could not let go of the guilt he felt about the deaths of his friends. He had sworn to protect their lives, and he did not. Zoe's eyes reflected the pain he felt for the death of Wash, but he knew the depth of her pain must be so much greater. He could not conceive what it must be like to lose someone she dedicated her whole life to.

And Shepherd. Even though he had disapproved of Shepherd's beliefs and lifestyle, his death hit Mal harder than he had expected. He never understood Shepherd's past, but he was a good man if there ever was one. Mal would never forget the advice that Shepherd had given him, and regretted never being able to talk to him again.

Inara was overwhelmed by her own sadness and the pervasive gloom within the spacecraft. She had never intended to come back onto Serenity after she left. She did miss them all, of course, but she stood by her decision. But here she was; and instead of fretting over what her next course of action was, she decided to allow herself time to mourn and be here for the other crewmembers. Her absence would not be helpful at a time like this.

There was no set destination, and no one much felt up to doing a job. It seemed like they had enemies wherever they went, and no one was up for a battle, either. So they flew, until Mal could muster up the energy to make a decision.

As a companion, Inara was very attuned to the emotions of others, and was relatively skilled at cheering people up. While she knew her charms would not especially work at a time like this, she was determined to do anything she could. The last thing on her mind was finding work, when her friends so desperately needed support. She was hardly in her shuttle anymore, trying to be around the others as often as possible. She would stay up late talking to Kaylee, help River make dinner for the crew (although Inara usually ended up doing most of the work since River was easily distracted), and she even played a few games of cards with Jayne, who was surprisingly vulnerable at the time. She held Zoe when one night, she finally let herself have the tears that she had suppressed for days since Wash's death. They did not speak as Inara stroked Zoe's hair comfortingly. Inara cried too, both for her sadness at Wash's death and for the pity she had for Zoe. Inara also realized how much closer she felt to Simon after all the trials and tribulations they had been through, and admired him for his never-ending dedication to River. She was also glad that he had finally given in to Kaylee.

Inara had been readily consoling everyone except the Captain. At first, she was not completely conscious of her avoidance of him, but after awhile, it was clear that she was doing everything in her power not to see him. Whenever he would walk into the room, she would make up an excuse that she had to leave. Not that he much protested. He was unresponsive in the days following the incidents, and was just glad to have Inara back on the ship, even if he did not see her. She brought a positive and healing power that no one else possessed.

One night, Inara was in the kitchen making tea for herself. She had trouble sleeping every night, and tea always seemed to help.

"Got any of that special tea to spare?" Kaylee said as brightly as she could muster, walking into the room. Inara turned and smiled.

"Of course. Have a seat."

Kaylee sat down as Inara poured two cups of her tea with special herbs that induced relaxation. She handed one to Kaylee and took a seat across from her.

"How are you doing?" Inara asked as she blew on her tea.

"Oh, sleep-deprived, as usual." Kaylee said. Inara noticed bags under Kaylee's eyes. "Not much room for sleep with all these awful thoughts I've been havin'."

Inara nodded sympathetically. "I understand. I've been having the same problem." She sighed. "Who wouldn't at a time like this? We've been through so much."

Kaylee nodded. They sat in silence for a few minutes, taking small sips of their tea. "I bet this isn't how you wanted to come back to the ship," Kaylee said sadly. "Well, I guess you didn't want to come back at all." She eyed Inara curiously. "You never really explained why you left, you know."

"Didn't I?" Inara said, frowning a bit. "I just wasn't getting enough work flying around in space. And I was getting into trouble more often than doing my job. It just didn't make sense to stay." Her face softened a bit. "But of course I missed it. I wouldn't have left unless I felt that I had to, Kaylee."

Kaylee smiled. "I never thought you abandoned us, Inara. And I knew all that. But I didn't think you really wanted to leave." She paused. "I mean, you would have left a long time ago if that was the real reason you left."

"What do you mean?" Inara said, somewhat on the defensive.

"Don't get all worked up," Kaylee said, smiling. "I just mean…well, did something happen with you and the Captain?"

Inara looked down at her tea. This was the first time anyone had asked her about Mal, and she wasn't sure how to respond.

"I'm sorry if I'm bein' too forward," Kaylee said, putting he hand on Inara's arm. "I didn't mean to push. Just curious is all."

"No, it's fine," said Inara. "I just…well, it's just a difficult subject." She paused. "Nothing happened between Mal and I. But, you're right in assuming that the reason I left had to do with him." She sighed, and looked into Kaylee's eyes, wondering what she thought.

Kaylee nodded encouragingly.

Inara went on. "Mal and I, well, we're alike in a lot of ways. For example, we're both very stubborn. Which is why we often argue, I suppose. We both act a certain way on the exterior but I am, and I know he is as well, actually a caring person. I mean his loyalty to his crew is so admirable, I've never seen anything like it in another man. And he doesn't show it but he cares deeply about certain people and holds true to what he believes is right in the end. He makes me so angry sometimes but I can't let go of…well I can't stop believing in him."

Kaylee's smile widened. "Inara. You love the Captain, don't you?"

Inara looked surprised for a moment, and then blushed, smiling a bit. "Oh, I don't know if I would call it that. I just feel a connection to him."

"A stronger connection than you've ever felt to anyone, right?"

Inara thought for a moment. "Yes…I suppose so."

Kaylee cocked her head. "But you can't do anything about it."

Inara shook her head. "No. There's no room for romance in the life of a companion. Too many hurt feelings. It wouldn't work."

Kaylee looked down, shaking her head. "Such a shame. The Captain has it real bad for you."

Inara thought for a moment. "Do you think so?" she said. "I mean, I don't mean to sound vain, but so many men have claimed to fallen for me, and it seems not to mean anything…"

"Yes." Kaylee said, looking into Inara's eyes. "Yes. I do think so." She laughed. "You and the Captain are stubborn, aren't you? You dance around each other, trying not to say too much, be too forward…kind of like Simon and I were, I guess. And look at us now. We're so happy." She paused. "I'm not tryin' to say you should give up your life, or anything like that. I just mean, love ain't convenient like that. And Inara, you deserve to be loved, I mean really loved, more than anyone. If you wait too long, it might be too late…and you might regret it."

Inara was thoughtful. "Maybe you're right. But it is such a big step to take. I…I just don't know if I'm ready for it."

Kaylee nodded. "That's alright, Inara. Everything will turn out how it's meant to." She smiled encouragingly, and Inara gave unsure smile back.