Chapter One: "Oh No, He's Hot"
As John pulled into the dry and desolate town of Nightvale he felt a rush. Humid wind blow through his above average hair. Also something else. Something he couldn't quite place. Nostalgia maybe he thought to himself. Whatever this feeling was it was unsettling to our naive scientist. But this unsettlement, no matter how strange and new to him it was, also felt homey and sickly sweet. As he made his out of the bus along with his fellow colleagues, such as Jade Harley a particularly gifted engineer and physicist, the bus did not move, yet it disappeared. It almost seemed like it simply ceased to exist.
This feat marveled most of the scientist especially the spacial thinker, Jade Harley. After shrugging John went on his way with his colleagues towards where John would stay while in Nightvale. On the way there he passed many curious things: an abandoned dog park that he felt you should never enter, a waterfront area without any water, and a post office with a loud howling emitting from it. When John got to the lab it was in suitable condition. As John began setting up he decided to call a town meeting, telling one of your interns to spread the word amongst the populace. He told him to have it at 4:30 P.M. tomorrow.
John decided to check with Jade and her seismograph and what he discovered was strange: the town had constant catastrophic earthquakes. Later that day another colleague of Johns reported that the sun set ten minutes later than usual. And then even later, by means he did not wish to know, he also had reported to you that there is a house here that doesn't, technically, exist. This truly is the most scientifically interesting community in the U.S. John thought to himself.
As 4:30 approached more pedestrians came for the meeting, all normal looking people. Surely not the community of such an impossible city. As John began to speak about your latest finds a man stared at you with puppy dog eyes he couldn't help but find a little bit alluring. John had saw him walk in with aviators which he hadn't thought too much of, until he pushed them up over his bangs (Parting his hair in a way John thought was way too cute for a grown man.) revealing red eyes. He had red eyes. Now that was the kind of citizen you had expected to live here. As he kept staring at John, he started to stumble over his words but nonetheless John managed to keep his cool and finish his speech about the scientific finds better than he had expected. When he returned to the lab he couldn't help but think of the red eyed man. And as he thought of him more and more a voice came over the radio "A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to Nightvale."
John had listened to the entire broadcast and the host had mentioned his meeting earlier and then began to faun over John and his perfect hair. The host then said he had fallen in love with John. While our scientific protagonist was flattered he didn't even know who this host was, let alone even begin to reciprocate these feelings. About twenty minutes John had started to feel sleepy. As the voice of the mysterious man droned on about restricted dog parks and waterless waterfronts John drifted off to sleep.