Title: BRIDGES BURNED, BRIDGES BUILT
Pairing: Tony DiNozzo/Tobias Fornell
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Friendship
Rating: M
Summary: It takes a strong heart to love, but it takes a stronger heart to continue to love after it's been broken. (quote from relationship quotes on Google) light SLASH, Spoilers for 12x13 and 12x15
DISCLAIMER: Don't own nothing.
WARNING: LIGHT SLASH (I mean, it's me. What else but slash)
A/N Ooookkkayyy, let me tell you I have no flicking idea where this came from. I mean, I don't even ship them, unless as father/son or as rivalry pairings, but never as a possible couple. However, something about 12x13 and 12x15 screamed Tony/Tobias and my muse was relentless. She is going crazy, I tell you!
Anyway, it is a light slash, only a few kisses. Oh yeah, mention of Tony/Gibbs (past). I'm also ignoring the fact Tobias and Diane were back together, and the women in Tony's life. Took some lines from the transcript I found. So, mostly spoilers for 12x15 episode, slightly changed.
Hope you'll like it.
/
When Gibbs finally strolled into the bullpen that day, he saw his team working on their current case. He spent his morning bailing his best friend out of the jail after Tobias called him. He couldn't believe he was driving while drinking, but then again, Diane died recently and Tobias missed her. But that was the road to self-destruction, and Gibbs wondered what he could do to help his friend. He wasn't only worried for Tobias, he was worried for Tony too. Because for the last couple of weeks, his SFA, his friend (if he could still call him that), was acting strange, silently working, with no witty remarks. Almost depressed. And what was more troublesome, Tony had dark rings underneath his eyes, whether of not sleeping or crying. He wished Tony would confide in him, but he knew that wouldn't happen.
Their relationship changed drastically over the years. When before, Tony talked a lot, now, he felt he knew nothing what goes on in Tony's life. The closeness they had in the beginning was gone, and no matter what he did, there was nothing he could do to break the distance that was now between them. Something was missing. Something was broken.
And it was his fault.
Sure, they still talked, Tony still came to sit down on the second step in the basement, watching him working on a boat, sometimes even sanding himself, but it was different. Gibbs was sure it was because of that night. The night they spend together. The night when Tony said he was falling for him. And what did he do? The worst thing possible.
''This was a mistake, Tony. And it could never happen again. It's not you, nothing you did. I just can't...'' Gibbs said, not looking at the younger man after he came down to the living room, where Gibbs sat most of the night, after Tony fell asleep, thinking what possessed him to kiss his SFA and have sex with him. After a long silent moment, he heard a whispered 'Okay' before Tony left his home.
Nothing changed between them on the outside, but for a long time Tony stopped coming to his house. What he didn't know was, that, hearing those words, something died inside Tony. The young Agent put walls around himself, and when he smiled, those smiles were fakes. It took a while for Gibbs to recognize it, and when he did, he hated it. He tried to talk with Tony, but it was no use. The damage was already done. Tony had this one characteristic flaw. When hurt, he couldn't forget or forgive. Gibbs saw that after Tony realized his partner in Baltimore was dirty.
The years passed, they had a lot of ups and downs, a lot of road-blocks, a lot of friends died around them. But Tony, he stayed beside him, loyal as ever. Sometimes that made Gibbs humble, not that he would ever say it aloud. He knew Tony had a lot of job offers, and the ex-Marine often wondered why the young Agent never considered them.
Now, looking at Tony, he wondered what troubled him. And he wished the young man would stop hurting in silence. After two week, he stopped asking, after receiving the same answer over and over again. 'I'm fine. Nothing is wrong'. He wasn't the only one that was worried. McGee and Bishop also noticed.
/
The case turned to be one of Sergei Mishnev's ploys to lure him out. To show he was still out there. It was clear as day once they found fragments of a Russian grenade that exploded on the ship. And once again, Gibbs was in a full anger mode. Tony dared to tell him to back out, that he was too close to the case. Thankfully, before he could say anything, Emily, Tobias' daughter called, needed to speak with him.
''I know about you bailing out my Dad this morning.'' Emily said after a brief hug.
''Wasn't exactly bailing him out. He is going through a tough time.''
''Don't soft-pedal me, Uncle Gibbs. He looks nuts with that bald head.'' Emily sounded angry, and Gibbs sighed.
''It's an undercover operation.''
''You don't believe that. Last week he shaved it twice in one day. Said it helps him feel clean. Since Mom died, he's been angry, bitter, self-destructive oh, and drunk. He is drinking way too much. I would've asked T...'' Remembering no one knew about that, she quickly covered her mistake. ''...someone else, but Dad has been avoiding that person. A fool like he is.''
''You know what he's experiencing.'' Gibbs sighed, remembering his own grief after Shannon and Kelly died. ''What person?''
''Ummm, I can't tell you. It's Dad who needs to do that. I try to help, but he doesn't listen to me, and I've got my own grief to work through.''
''How's that going?'' Gibbs asked, deciding, for now, to drop his curiosity.
''Some good days some awful. All compounded by being a teenager who can't be expected to maintain a teenage social calendar if I'm too busy worrying about my father hurting himself or anyone else.''
''Okay, I'll talk to him.'' Gibbs agreed with an another sigh.
''No. Help him. Please?''
''I will.'' Gibbs promised.
''Thank you.''
/
They were standing in front of the plasma screen talking about Sergei when Tobias showed up behind them. Hearing his voice, Tony stiffened and slowly turned around to look at the newcomer. He barely bit back the gasp seeing his lover, after so long, bald and obviously drunk. He tried to catch Tobias' eyes, but the older man kept his eyesight on the plasma screen. Tony tried to hide his hurt, turning back but the tears threatened, so he quickly mumbled something about seeing what Abby got, then all about ran away.
Alone and away from prying eyes, after pressing the emergency stop button, Tony slide down the elevator wall, wrapped his arms around his knees and let the tears fall, silent sobs filling the empty space. It hurt. It hurt so much he thought his heart would break. If he only hadn't said those words that night. If he only kept his mouth shut... He kept wondering will he ever find that someone who will love him back. Or he was destined to be forever alone. Because it was obvious that Tobias didn't. Just like Gibbs, ten years ago. It didn't matter Tobias and he were together for the last six years, and friends for eight.
/
Their friendship started when he accidentally called Tobias who was just before Jimmy in his phonebook, after he had been stabbed while working undercover during the time Gibbs was in Mexico. Tobias came right away, and after he'd been released from Bethesta, continued caring for his wounds. Beside Jenny and Tobias, Jimmy was the only one who knew what happened and where he was, because Jenny told everyone he was attending some conference in Europe. Doped with painkillers, his masks and walls came down, and Tobias saw who the real Tony DiNozzo was. When he was better, Tony thanked the older man, thinking that was it, but Tobias kept showing up. In a matter of days, the FBI Agent became his rock. Suddenly, they were spending every free moment together, going to various games, lunches, plays... It took two years for Tony to finally started trusting the older man completely.
Their first kiss happened when Tobias took him away for the whole weekend, taking him to the camping spot, five hours drive from D.C. He was so happy he caught his first fish that he jumped, forgetting that they were in the boat in the middle of the lake, causing them to roll over and fall into the water. Somehow, they ended up in each other's arms, their eyes locked and their lips met in the heated kiss. One thing led to another and they spend the rest of the day and the night in the tent, learning and exploring...making love. But, when the morning came, Tony remembered what happened with Gibbs, so he asked, not even looking at Tobias, is he going to treat what happened as a mistake. Pretend it didn't happen, pretend it meant nothing. He wasn't prepared for the reaction he got.
Tobias was so angry at the question, that he forced Tony to look him in the eyes. ''Never!'' He said. ''I would never do that! I want to be with you, officially.''
Overwhelmed, Tony cried, and Tobias held him until there was no more tears. Then he kissed him so tenderly, Tony's soul sang. The young man confessed he had only two male lovers before Tobias. One in college, and one after he joined the NCIS. He didn't wanted to name the second one, though, and the FBI Agent never asked. They continued seeing each other same as ever, but this time, there was kissing involved. One day, Emily and Diane caught them making out on the sofa in Tobias' house. What happened next was the most embarrassing conversation both men ever experienced in their lives. In the end, they managed to convince them to keep their relationship in secret. Over the years, Tony often stayed at Tobias' and half of his stuff was already there. Emily warmed up to him pretty quickly and treated him as part of her family. That was another surprise for the young man. Even Diane cracked jokes around them, after Tony talked to her, without Tobias' knowledge, saying that her ex was the only one for him.
Everything was going so well until that night. The night before Diane died. The night when Tony told Tobias he loves him for the first time and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He had never before uttered those three word, but in that moment, it felt right. Tobias didn't said anything, but Tony thought he was merely shocked, but believed that the older man felt the same.
Apparently, he was wrong.
The next day, everything went to hell. Diane died and Tobias, in his grief, pushed Tony away, trying to drown his sorrow in alcohol. Tony couldn't but remember the day when Tobias came to Navy Yard, a few days after the funeral. Needing to feel the comfort and a familiar touch from his lover, Tony hugged him in the middle of the bullpen, not caring what anyone would think. To everyone else, he was just giving his condolence, but it wasn't only that. He craved for Tobias' touch, his scent... If the hug lasted a second or two longer than necessary, no one was the wisest. But then he felt Tobias' hands on his chest, pushing him away, avoiding Tony's eyes.
To Tony, the message was clear. Tobias was done with him. And his heart broke into pieces.
/
And now, here he was, once again alone, crying in the elevator. He wondered what had he done so horrible that he was so unlovable. His own mother chose alcohol, and eventually death, over him. Senior chose money. Wendy chose to believe in lies instead of him. Gibbs chose the ghosts of his dead wife and daughter. And now, Tobias chose alcohol, revenge and another ghost over Tony.
Wiping his eyes from the remains of the crying, he took a deep breath to collect himself. He will make through this. No one ever died of a broken heart before. Neither will he. That was what he told himself, wondering in the same time when he will start to believe in that.
Emotionally drained, he walked into Abby's lab, but she was still processing the evidence. Even busy, she noticed the red rimmed eyes Tony had and got instantly worried.
''What's wrong?''
''Nothing.'' Tony answered.
''Don't lie to me, Tony! You've clearly been crying. That's not nothing. Are you okay?'' In all fairness, she should've know better than to ask that, because she got the usual answer.
''I'm fine.''
''Tony...''
''Look, I gotta go. Call when you have something.'' Tony said, quickly leaving the lab.
Abby called McGee, but he knew nothing. When Tony got upstairs, this time opting the stairs instead of the elevator, he was informed by the Director he was in charge from now, that Gibbs took Fornell away. Tony had a pretty good idea where they went. Burying himself in the paperwork, he didn't noticed worried glances from Bishop and McGee.
Life went on like his heart wasn't broken.
/
Gibbs turned the engine off when he got to the destination. His cabin. Three hours away from the civilization. Tobias woke up, noticing they were in the woods.
''Where are we?''
''Come on. Help me unload.'' Gibbs said, exiting the car.
''Are you kidding me?'' Tobias asked in shock. ''This is not what we agreed on. You said we were going after Sergei.''
''Come on. Move it.''
''What the hell are we doing out here?'' Tobias asked, letting the anger ruling him. ''Is this some kind of intervention? Is that what this is?''
''Do you think you need one?'' Gibbs asked as he entered the cabin, Tobias right after him.
''No! I do not need a fucking intervention! What I need is for you to drive us back to D.C. so we can kill that murderer!'' Tobias growled.
''First you need to sober up and stay that way! Or, if you're that adamned, cut with the slow-motion suicide. You want to kill yourself, fine with me. Go ahead. I'll even join you.'' Gibbs growled back, taking the bottle of Bourbon from the wooden trunk, poured two glasses and gave one to his friend.
They kept drinking until Tobias passed out. Thankfully, he didn't noticed Gibbs wasn't drinking that much. It was well past noon the next day when he called Tony for an update. He was in the middle of it when Tobias came out and started retching.
''Morning, sunshine.'' Gibbs said putting the phone down and continued chopping wood for the fire.
''Was that your team? Is there any progress?''
''They are working on it.'' Gibbs shrugged his shoulders.
''I hate you, Gibbs. What are we doing out here? Where is my phone? I need to call Emily.''
''She is fine. Staying with friends. I talked to her.''
''You talked to her? What did she say?''
''Said I need to take care of you. Help you get through this.'' Gibbs answered, then after a moment of hesitation continued with caution. ''She also said she would've asked someone else but you've been avoiding that person. Are you involved with someone, Tobias?''
Tobias stiffened that didn't go unnoticed by Gibbs, but the ex-Marine decided against saying anything. Instead of answering, Tobias asked in a mocked tone.
''What now? What do we do next? Bang drums? Sweat lodge? Squirrel juggling? I need coffee.'' Sighing, he entered the cabin again.
''Help yourself. And make one for me too. Black.'' Gibbs called after him.
''Fuck you, Jethro!''
Tobias did make coffee for both of them, but when Gibbs entered the cabin, his friend was in the middle of the search, and Gibbs had pretty good idea for what.
''I dumped it. No more Bourbon for you.''
''What are you? My mother? What are you trying to prove? I don't need you monitoring my intake.''
''Seems to me you do.'' Gibbs stated simply.
''I don't need you, Jethro! I'm done. Take me back to D.C.'' Tobias demanded angrily.
''You're done? With what? Embarrassing yourself? Or embarrassing your badge? You've done a good job at both.''
''Fuck you!''
''What's really bothering you? That you're not man enough for that someone you're clearly involved with? Or do you blame me for Diane's death? Because if you are, stand in line. I blame myself too. She is dead because of me.''
Tobias was shivering with rage. But, it wasn't because of what Gibbs said. It was because he didn't said those words back. It was because Emily lost her mother, and he lost a good friend. And yes, part of him blamed Gibbs. Not knowing how to deal with the loss and the guilt, he turned to alcohol, pushing Tony away. He thought he didn't deserved to be happy. And he knew, he knew he was hurting his lover, and that he would lose him as well. Tony deserved better than him. And that hurt too. So he kept drinking.
''You have no idea what you're talking about.'' Tobias finally spoke, his sober mind full of regret and pain. ''Yes, part of me blames you, but not because I lost Diane, but because Emily lost her mother. I'm drinking because I was too shocked when he told me he loves me and I didn't said it back. When I tried, the moment was gone. He deserves so much better than me, and it hurts. And I've hurt him. Diane was a friend and I lost her. So I turned to alcohol. And I pushed him away. And he, burned so many times in the past will never forgive me. And I'm angry at myself because the last words Diane and I spoke were in anger. She was pushing me to finally propose to him, but I wanted to wait a bit longer, scared of what his answer will be. Oh, God! I'm so messed up, Jethro!'' Tobias finished his monologue and then finally looked at his friend, who was watching him with his eyes wide from shock.
''Him? You're in a relationship with a man?''
''You homophobic son of a bitch!'' Tobias yelled, then took a swing, hitting Gibbs right in the jaw. ''So what if I'm involved with a man?''
''I'm not a homophobic, Tobias!'' Gibbs yelled back. ''I thought you knew me better than that. I'm just surprised that... I thought you were straight, that's all.''
''Oh.'' Tobias calmed down in instant, then smiled sheepishly. ''Sorry. I dabbed in the past but it was nothing serious. This, on the other hand...took me by surprise.''
''I'll say. And Emily knows? How long?''
''Six years. And, yeah, she knows.'' Tobias answered, then told his friend how she found out. By the end of the story, Gibbs was laughing.
They were both silent for a long couple of moments, then Gibbs suggested they should go to the lake and catch some fish for lunch. During the next three hours they hadn't said a word to each other, each in their own minds. Gibbs was still processing what he learned. When they got back, he started cleaning the fish, while Tobias just sat on the log, watching.
''You can still try to salvage the relationship, you know?'' Gibbs broke the silence.
''I don't know if he'll ever forgive me. Alcohol is a big no-no in his book thanks to his parents. And trust is something he places on the highest level. Which I broke. Pushed him away.'' Tobias sighed tiredly, then asked. ''Can I have my phone back? Need to check up on the messages, if I have any.''
''I was always planning to give it back.'' Gibbs said and handed it to his friend, watching him go inside for some privacy.
In the meantime, he called Tony for an update and what he heard shocked him. His old nemesis, Ari Haswari and Sergei Mishnev were apparently half-brothers. That actually explained quite a lot. Making some more calls, while preparing the lunch, he went inside, only to stop dead in his track, hearing the familiar voice of his SFA.
''Hi, Tobias. It's me, Tony. Again. Look, I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear now, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for Diane and that I understand. I'm sorry for the things I said...and...and I...I promise I will never say those words again...just...please don't shut me out. I...I don't think I could handle it. Not again...Not from you... I...Please Tobias...''
It was clear Tony was trying very hard not to cry, but judging by how his voice cracked by the end of the message, he wasn't successful.
''Oh, God... What have I done?'' Tobias whispered, clutching his phone in his hand, his eyes filling with tears. He was shocked hearing the angry roar from behind.
''That's exactly what I would like to know.''
/
To say Gibbs was shocked learning that Tony was that someone his friend was involved with would be an understatement. But, it all made sense now. The way the young man was acting for the last couple of weeks, the lack of sleeping, the red eyes... He remembered the way Tony and Tobias acted during the last six years whenever the FBI Agent would come. They made sure not to stand close to each other, but there were some glances from both of them. Tony seemed content, almost happy, but he never said a word. And that is what hurt Gibbs the most. Tony never said anything. He didn't trust him anymore. He remembered the hug Tony gave to Tobias. He remembered how yesterday Tony almost ran away from the bullpen. Now, looking back, it should've been so obvious.
''Tony?'' He spluttered. ''You are involved with Tony? My Tony?''
''What do you mean 'your' Tony?'' Tobias asked in sudden anger, standing up.
''I meant as in my Agent.''
''Sure you did.'' Tobias rolled his eyes. ''Yes, Tony and I are together.'' Seeing the unspoken question in Gibbs' eyes, he sighed and then explained how everything started. ''I really do love him, Jethro.''
''I see that. And he loves you too.''
''Do you know what he asked me the morning after? Will I treat of what happened between us as a mistake. Pretend that it never happen, that it meant nothing. I swear, he actually thought... I could see someone hurt him and he expected...''
Gibbs couldn't hold the wince hearing that, and Tobias saw it. He saw the shame in his friend's eyes, and it clicked.
''You bastard!'' Tobias yelled standing up again. ''It was you! When?''
''It just happened, Tobias. Ten years ago. He was recuperating at my house after the plague and we somehow ended up together.'' Gibbs said, lowering his eyes.
''And let me guess. In the morning you said it was a mistake, or used that lame excuse 'it's not you, it's me'. Do you know how long it took me for him to fully open up to me? More than two fucking years!''
''He does have some trust issues.'' Gibbs mumbled.
''Can you blame him?'' Tobias asked, narrowing his eyes at his friend. ''Is lunch done? I'm hungry.'' He changed the subject, and Gibbs was glad for that.
After lunch, they drank more coffee and Gibbs called again for an update. However, in the middle of the conversation, the phone went dead, and he felt sudden uneasiness. He made a quick plan with Tobias and left the cabin. Everything went fast afterwards. Sergei came to kill him as he suspected he would, but ended up dead himself, after Tobias shot him right through the forehead. On their way back to D.C., with a dead body in the trunk, Tobias called Emily saying it was all over and that he and Gibbs were going back to the Navy Yard.
/
When Gibbs and Tobias entered the bullpen, McGee, Abby and Director Vance were already waiting for them. They told them that Bishop went to pick up Emily and Tony was with Ducky, finishing the case. Ten minute later, Emily hugged her father.
''It's over? Even you shaving your head and drink like there's no tomorrow?''
''Yes. I'm done with that. And I'm sorry for worrying you. I'll do anything you ask, just name it.'' Tobias smiled at his daughter.
''Can we wait for Tony then? The two of you need to talk.''
''Tony? As in our Tony? Why do you need to talk to him?'' McGee asked in shock.
''Because they have been together for the last six years, and acting stupid for the last couple of weeks.'' Emily stated, then looked at her father. ''They needed to know, Dad. Tony always referred his team as his family, and I really don't see the point of keeping secrets. So, you are going to apologize for being an idiot, and do what you're supposed to do. What Mom and I wanted.'' She said in a firm tone, pulling a small black box out of her bag, and placing it in her father's hand. ''I'm giving you three months to prepare the wedding.''
Tobias blushed, Gibbs chuckled, Abby squealed, Bishop smiled, Vance looked thoughtful, and McGee spluttered.
''You and Tony? How? When? How?''
''It was that precise moment when Ducky and Tony showed up. They looked at the various expressions in the room, not understanding what was going on. Gibbs also noticed the way Tony looked everywhere but Tobias, and seeing a flash of pain in his friend's eyes, Tobias noticed it too. Knowing Tony better than anyone, both older men saw the walls Tony instantly put around himself.
''What's going on?'' Tony asked, no one in particular.
''It seems you've been holding out on us, Tony.'' Abby answered, and McGee added in glee.
''Emily outed you and Fornell.''
''Hm, I see.'' Was all Tony said.
Gibbs looked closely at his SFA, not liking what he saw. Tony was unreadable for the first time in fourteen years. He watched the young man walking toward his desk, pulling one paper from the drawer, and handing it to the Director.
''What is this?'' Vance asked.
''My resignation letter. Effective immediately.'' He really should've expected the head-slap that followed. ''Oww! That actually hurt. What was that for?'' He cried out, looking at Gibbs, who was glaring at him.
''Good! And that's for being an idiot.'' Gibbs growled, looking at Tony who was rubbing the back of his head. ''Why do you have already written letter of resignation in your drawer?''
''I wanted to be prepared?'' Tony said, as if it was obvious.
''How long?'' Gibbs asked, narrowing his eyes, knowing that Tony would know what exactly he was asking.
''Ummm, twelve years, give or take. Come on, you know I never stayed anywhere longer than that.''
''And yet, Anthony, you stayed here for fourteen. What does that say to you?'' Ducky asked.
''Bad judgment call, I guess?'' Tony gave a sheepish smile to the doctor when he looked at him, making sure no one but Ducky saw a small wink. Ducky tsked knowingly, because he instantly recognized the playful way Tony used to irk Gibbs.
''Guess again.'' Gibbs growled.
''Good judgment call?'' Tony tried, and Gibbs gave a small nod, apparently satisfied with an answer.
''Are there more of these papers in that drawer?'' Receiving a nod, he ordered. ''Hand them over.''
Sighing, Tony pulled out a stack of them, handing it to Gibbs, who hit him on the head again, but this time, with the papers he had in his hand. Abby gasped seeing how many times Tony thought of leaving them. McGee looked part shocked, part sad. Ducky simply disappointed.
''If I ever see this again, I will head-slap you so hard you'll end up in Bethesta for the brain surgery, do I make myself clear?'' Gibbs warned, then asked. ''What did I tell you in Baltimore that day?''
''No one leaves your team unless you say so.''
''Good, make sure you remember that. Now, there is the shredder. You know what to do.''
Tony did as he was told, mumbling about stubborn bastards underneath his breath. ''You know, Boss? Threatening me with the head-slap is actually contra productive.'' Tony said. Seeing a dark glare from the blue eyes, he quickly added. ''Shutting up and shredding.''
''You forgot this one.'' Vance said, handing him the paper he had in his hand, secretly amused by the whole situation.
Tony looked at the paper he now had in his hand, then looked at the Director, paying no mind at the warning growl from Gibbs. ''You sure you want me to destroy this?'' Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the ex-Marine raising his hand to deliver another head-slap. ''Hey! It's a valid question!''
''Why wouldn't I be sure, Agent DiNozzo?''
''Well, obviously you know about Agent Fornell and me being together, so...'' Tony said, his eyes automatically searching for his lover, who was looking at him and shaking his head in desperation.
''Do I look like a bigot or a homophobic to you, Agent DiNozzo?'' Vance asked, raising his eyebrow in a very intimidating way.
''No! No. Of course not, Sir.''
''Good. Because I'm neither. What you do or chose to sleep with, after you leave this building, is your business. Now, if you happen to be involved with someone in your team, that would be another story. Since Agent Fornell is with the FBI, I see no problem whatsoever.'' Vance explained, surprised to hear a low growl coming from Tobias, and seeing a small blush on both Gibbs and Tony. 'I don't want to know'. He thought.
''Any more objections, or are you gonna do it, DiNozzo?'' Gibbs warned, his hand twitching.
''Shredding away, Boss.'' Tony rushed, not wanting another head-slap. His head was already in pain as it is.
When he was done, he walked back toward his desk, purposely avoiding the elephant in the room, but before he could reach it, he felt a hand on his elbow, stopping him. Tingles passed through his whole body, when he felt a familiar touch.
''We need to talk, Tony.'' Tobias spoke for the first time since Tony arrived.
''There's nothing to talk about.'' Tony replied, his voice hard, his heart still hurting, trying not to look at his lover.
''Oh, for God's sake!'' Emily huffed. ''Stop acting like some stubborn mule and talk to each other. Jeeezz! Do I have to do everything? Mom wanted for the two of you to be happy together and I need my social life back!''
''Out of the mouth of a child.'' McGee commented.
''Did you just called me a child, Chucky?'' Emily asked, her eyes narrowing into slits.
Ummm, no?'' McGee stammered. He would swear on everything that in that moment Emily looked just like her mother, even calling him 'Chucky' like Diane used to do.
No matter how hard he tried, Tony couldn't suppress the chuckle that escaped, and even Vance and Gibbs smirked.
''Tony. Look at me. Please?'' Tobias pleaded, and the young man couldn't but comply. ''I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I treated you. I'm sorry for pushing you away. I know how hard it was for you to say those words for the first time in your life, and I wanted to say 'I love you' back. But, I guess I was too scared. Please forgive me. Because, God help me, I don't know how to live without you. I love you with all my heart, and I promise I won't ever do that again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. Tony, will you marry me?'' He pulled the ring box out of his pocket, opening it in front of his lover.
Tony was floored for the first time in his life. He didn't even realized he was crying. His dream was coming true. He had finally found the one who loved him back. He looked at the simple silver ring, but to him it was beautiful and priceless. Lifting his eyes, he looked at the older man straight into his wet eyes. There he could see various emotions Tobias had in that moment. Hope, love and a promise. All the hurt and pain he felt for the last couple of weeks were gone now. Only love was left.
''I forgive you, Tobias...I...I love you too. And, yes. I'll marry you. But under three condition.'' He managed to choke out.
''Name them.'' Tobias' response was quick.
''No more alcohol, except beer. Never again push me away. And the most important one...'' He smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. ''Please grow your hair back. You look ridiculous like this.''
Tobias huffed feigning hurt, but then Emily bounced toward them and hugged them both. ''Finally! Now sealed it with a kiss.'' She smirked playfully, moving away.
''I promise, Tony. I love you so much.'' Tobias smiled, placed the ring where it belong, on Tony's finger, then pulled his lover, his future husband, into his embrace and placed his lips on Tony's.
Knowing where they are and that they had an audience, the kiss was brief, but full with need and love. Emily and Abby squealed happily, already making plans for the wedding, when Director Vance cleared his throat.
''Let me be the first one to congratulate you, DiNozzo, Fornell. Also, Agent DiNozzo, I have a proposition for you.''
''Sir? Thank you, Sir.'' Tony looked at the Director, still holding Tobias' hand.
''Since it is decided you'll be staying in definitively here at NCIS, what do you say about having your own team?'' SECNAV and I were talking about forming another MCRT and we were considering you as a Team leader. Of course, in the beginning, both teams will have to work together, under Agent Gibbs' supervision, but eventually you'll be leading alone.''
''Me?'' Tony choked. ''You want me to run the new MCRT?'' His eyes instantly sought Gibbs who smiled. ''But...?''
''You're ready, Tony. You've been ready for years. I've taught you everything I know and you'll do great.'' Gibbs spoke with such conviction and pride it brought another set of tears in Tony's eyes.
''You sure?''
''Do I ever say anything I don't mean, DiNozzo?''
''No, Boss.'' Tony said, then turned to Vance. ''I accept the offer, Director Vance, and I thank you for the confidence.''
''Good. That's settled then. I'll inform the SECNAV of your decision and by the end of the month you'll have to decide on who would be in your team. The files will be on your desk in a couple of days. You'll have your hands full. But, as I see, some of your friends are already planning the wedding.'' He smirked, looking at Abby, Bishop and Emily who were on Bishop's computer, discusing flowers and food.
''Yup, Director! We have everything under control.'' Abby chimed in, holding a bunch of papers in her hand. ''The wedding planner is already printed.'' Then she looked at Tony. ''You and I, Mister, will have a long talk about keeping secrets.'' She said sternly.
''But don't worry. In three months, that was Emily's deadline, by the way, you'll be happily married, Mr. DiNozzo-Fornell.''
''And I would be honored if the wedding would be held at my house, Anthony, Tobias. There is a lovely back yard with plenty of open space.'' Ducky offered.
''Sharing a look with Tony, Tobias answered. ''It would be our pleasure, Ducky.''
Tony looked around and he was happy. The girls were whispering together, Gibbs and Vance talked in one corner but McGee just sat on his desk, looking strange. ''Something on your mind, McThoughtful?''
''It's just...why haven't you ever told us? I mean, you an Fornell have been together for six years, and never once did you mention anything. Did you thought we would disapprove or hate you for being gay? Why did you lied about all the women that you allegedly dated or slept with? And, I'm also angry at myself because I'm pretty sure half of those papers you've just shredded were because of me and Ziva. Maybe Kate too. And I'm sorry for how I treated you back then. What I'm trying to say is...You have every right to hate me, but in the same time I hope we're still friend that could rely on one another.''
Tony was silent for a long moment, debating with himself could he afford to be honest and true. He noticed how everyone stilled, looking at him. For him, trust was, like Tobias said to Gibbs, on the highest level, and even though, for a short time, he did lost that trust in his team, he couldn't help but feel that this team was his family. And you have to forgive family, right? He had to start from somewhere. Tobias squeezed his fingers, like he knew exactly what he was thinking, and gave a slight nod, when their eyes met.
''First of all, I don't hate you and I'm not gay. I guess I'm bi. I only had two male lovers before Tobias came into my life, winning me over with his patience, loving care, just being there for me when I needed someone. I was curious in college, and the second one was a mistake that broke my heart because I thought...doesn't matter. The reason I didn't tell you is because of how you saw me from the very beginning. You saw me as a clown, a comic relief, an incompetent cop. Wondering why Gibbs ever chose me for his team. Don't bother to deny it, I've heard you and Ziva talking about it more than once. What you didn't saw is how all my teasing toughened your character for this job. You were a spluttering mess when you first came to work here. Maybe it's my fault for letting it go for so many years.
So I gave you what you expected to see. And yes, half of that letters were because I was so fed up with lies, disrespect and hurt. For a while, I even felt I couldn't count on you to watch my back. But, there is one thing I'm not. And that is a quitter. You never bothered to know who the real me is, and like I said, I gave you Tony DiNozzo you wanted to see. A womanizer, a playboy, a fool. Trust is something I cherish the most, it is placed on the highest pedestal, and it is hard for me, when I lose it, to get it back. I don't think I can just forgive and forget.'' Seeing how Abby started silently crying and McGee on the brick of it, he sighed. ''However, the fact I stayed here for so many years, as Ducky pointed out, I admit I started to look at all of you as my family. I too have flaws, and I'm sure you're sorry, so I'm willing to give you another chance to know the real me.''
''Thank you, Tony.'' McGee sniffed. ''I promise you won't regret it.''
''You ready to go home?'' Tobias asked, his eyes promising a lot of tender lovemaking.
''That sounds nice.'' Tony smiled lovingly at his future husband, feeling safe in Tobias' arms, when the older man pulled him in, and Tony let his head fall on Tobias' shoulder.
''And me?'' Gibbs heard himself speak. ''Do you trust me?'' He managed to hide his shock hearing Tony opening his heart like that. And then he realized. The thing he lost was Tony's trust.
''I trust you to watch my six.'' Tony answered instantly.
''Not what I asked.'' Gibbs' eyes were boring at Tony, who was glaring right back.
Their relationship and bond was always different, everyone knew that, so no one was surprised at the question, especially after what they heard from Tony earlier. However, they were surprised at the moment of silence that took the young Agent to answer. They were also surprised at the icy tone that came from Tony, the tone that cut right through Gibbs' heart.
''You burned that bridge ten years ago.'' Tony answered, angry at the older man for forcing him to do this, feeling Tobias' hand on the back, giving the support he needed.
Gibbs nodded. The message was received loud and clear. As he suspected, he had lost Tony's full trust, and he had no one to blame but himself. Except Emily, everyone caught the true meaning of the question and the answer, but no one dared to say anything.
''If that's all, I have a date with my future husband and stepdaughter.'' Tony smiled, capturing Tobias' hand and intertwined their fingers.
Tobias nodded to everyone then turned his attention to his daughter. ''What did I hear about your social life, young lady? You're not allowed to have one until you turn fifty.''
''Dad! Tonio, do something!'' She whined good naturally.
''Don't you worry, squirt.'' I'll talk to your Dad. How does thirty sounds?'' Tony asked, then laughed. What Emily said was blocked as the elevator door closed behind them.
Gibbs watched the happy family with regret in his heart. Tony was right. He burned that bridge a long time ago, but bridges can be built, and the ex-Marine wowed to himself he would do anything to built that bridge again, earn that trust again.
A/N Pheeew. All done. Don't think I'll do another story with Tony/Tobias as a couple. Father/son, yes, but as a couple...they just don't click that way. As far as NCIS goes, I'm all Tony/Gibbs.
I have another idea for the 12x11 that I'm working on. Beside WARD, that is. Oh, yeah, and one for the TVD fandom, Delijah one with a tiny-winy Dalaric. So many ideas running through my head...
Hope you liked it and please review.