Author's Note: Hello new fandom! I've never written a story for Penny Dreadful but my muse came to me and made me write this little drabble. It was fun! Hope you guys enjoy! If you happen to read my other stories, do not worry, they are not forgotten. I just felt like writing this.
Disclaimer: I do not own Penny Dreadful in any way; I'm just a simple fan.
She would never make a good wife.
Even when she imagined herself free of demons, able to pursue the simple pleasures in life that so many took for granted, marriage eluded her. She didn't have the temperament. She was too bold, too honest, and too different. The idea of tying herself so completely to another person terrified her and the loss of control unnerved her.
Sometimes she tried to imagine the type of man she would marry but his features were always hazy and undefined. He would be handsome, she supposed. Dark hair, bright eyes, warm hands, gentle smile, biting kisses. Maybe even a moustache like the ones Mina had favored. Marriage would have suited her dear friend. Mina had always been kind and compassionate, always exceedingly lovely in the most feminine of ways. It was no wonder that men had been drawn to her. Vanessa hoped that she had been happy with Jonathan Harker, however briefly, but she knew deep down that happiness eluded her friend they way that it eluded her. Perhaps if Mina had married her first choice, at least one of them would have been happy. Again, the memory of stealing Mina's fiancé made Vanessa's inside curdle, but nothing could be done. The past was her punishment.
Vanessa had not been like Mina and she had always known that. She was not born for happy breakfasts in the morning or quiet arguing at night while the children slept. Her parents had wanted her to be that girl, but she simply wasn't; she thrived on darkness.
"You're gonna make someone a great little wifey one day."
Ethan had sounded utterly sincere. The thought amused her more than she could say and she had smiled in response. Not many would say that about a woman who battled demons both literally and figuratively. No, the only person who would say that about her was Ethan.
Vanessa had never met a man quite like him. He was masculine in all things, from manner to appearance, but he also possessed a sensitivity that he could not hide. He always touched her gently but his hands were rough from years of work. He could act like a cheeky school boy one moment and then a hardened killer the next. He lacked the refined air that Dorian possessed, yet it was clear that he was intelligent and learned. He was kind and cruel, lonely but friendly, and a man but something more. She didn't know what made him different, but she could sense it clearly. The knowledge didn't scare her. Rather, she was intrigued and drawn even more to him. She wondered what he was hiding but she wouldn't force him to reveal anything he didn't want. Sooner or later he would share them with her. Their friendship was one of understanding and complete acceptance. He would always be Ethan and she would always be Vanessa. To ask for anything more would be incredibly selfish.
Yet she couldn't help herself. Her whole body ached with temptation and the thrum of excitement and she could feel herself slipping. Dark tendrils curled around her, softly, gentle as a lover's embrace, coaxing her to touch him. Vanessa was only human, there was only so much that she could resist. Her eyes always locked with his, she stood just a fraction closer than necessary, and she found herself causally brushing her fingers across his skin. It burned her but that only made it more exciting and each stumble made the temptation even stronger. Her skin itched with a need she dared not voice but she could tell that he felt the same. He looked at her through hooded eyes, dark interest clear, but also with something more. He followed her lead, touching her more, always close, and she noticed the way his gaze lingered on her lips. Sex lingered in the air, an unasked question that both ignored, but the tension was becoming unbearable.
How long had they been circling each other? It felt like eons, although Vanessa knew that this desperate need was new. He had had Brona and she had had Dorian only a short while ago. She had done without him and he had been fine without her. However, their initial attraction, which had simmered and burned out to mutual respect, now haunted every thought. Allowing him to accompany her had been a mistake. She should have listened to her instincts and left him safely in London. The lonely moors, which suited her tastes and needs, felt oppressive. The wilderness closed in around her, reminding her of their isolation. It would be so easy to lose themselves in each other.
At night, Vanessa would imagine what it would be like to have sex with Ethan. What he would taste like? Would she taste the smoke curled on his tongue? Or would he be sweet? Something unexpected? Was his hair coarse of fine? Would he wrap his strong arms around her and press her to him? Or would she be the one to initiate? Would he be rough or caring? How hot would his skin be? Images flashed through her mind, enticing and horrible, and she was plagued day and night with lewd desires. Prayer didn't help and Vanessa did her best to ignore them. Carnal needs were her downfall, which the demon inside her knew all too well, and she did not want to give in to her evil. The last time she had given in had resulted in disaster and it had taken everyone to drag her back from the darkness. She doubted they would be able to do it a second time.
As much as she wanted to give in to her body's wants, Vanessa knew that it was a line she could not cross. Ethan would be her friend and confidant ONLY. How could she ever pursue any type of romantic relationship when the needs of the body must be denied?
She would never marry.
Thanks for reading! Hopefully it's not too far out of character. Please review!