Disclaimer: I own nothing belonging to psych. But hey, who needs to own anything to make a great story out of it? Please read, enjoy, and review! Thank you!
"Gold Fish!"
From behind the sturdy metal bars in the jail room sat Shawn and Gus, playing Go Fish together one tranquil Sunday evening. Gus looked at Shawn and frowned at him for holding his finger to his head.
"Really, Shawn?" said Gus right as Shawn was about to make his move.
"Really, Gus," said Shawn. "I am so psychic, which makes you so cheater."
Gus closed his mouth and narrowed his eyes at Shawn, snapping at his boastful expression.
"How'd you know?"
"Everybody knows, Gus. You're supposed to take the top card during a Gold Fish, not the middle."
"I did take the top card," Gus declared.
"Dude, the top card of the stack underneath the card on top doesn't count as the top card. Besides, I saw you switch it while you were fishing."
"Shawn, you cheat all the time," Gus reminded him, "so what's the difference between my cheating and yours?"
"The difference? I don't use my sexy cheating dexterity in Gold Fish," Shawn scoffed, still holding his finger to his head. "I use it for this."
"You mean for breaking the law."
"For solving crimes, Gus."
"Ya know, you might just get yourself into real trouble one day and wished you hadn't called yourself a psychic in the first place," Gus sighed, shaking his head at Shawn's arrogance.
Just then Lassiter came through the door and walked up to their cell. His expressionless countenance told Shawn their luck was about to change. The insipid detective walked up to the cell and took out his keys, fumbling with them a few seconds before sliding them into the keyhole of the cell. Then he just stood there motionless, as if he had been paused or his spirit was in another world.
"Well, what the heck are you waiting for? Let us out already," Gus urged him impatiently. Lassiter remained frozen before them, gazing into outer space with his eyes fixed past the Go Fish table, making eye contact with neither of them.
"Oh, I see," Shawn said walking up to the cell door. "The smell of your defeat and our victory has consumed you and now you're paralyzed from the taste of our awesomeness. HA! You know that's right."
"Um, Shawn, I don't think that's the case," said Gus now walking up to the bars himself.
Lassiter remained a totem pole with the keys stuck in the door, causing Shawn and Gus to exchange glances captivatingly.
"Something's not right," Gus whispered to Shawn before Lassiter unexpectedly collapsed onto the floor, ending Shawn's and Gus's freaked.
A few minutes later:
"Detective O'Hara!" yelled Chief Vick.
"Yes, Chief? You called?" Juliet O'Hara came running into the chief's office and answered. The chief looked at her a bit worriedly.
"What's wrong?" Juliet asked her concernedly. The chief just sat gazing into outer space and blinked a few times. Then she looked up at Juliet.
"I need you to..."
Suddenly, the she dropped her head down on the desk and Juliet stood there, astonished at this startling occurrence. After seconds of staring at the chief, Juliet ran out the door and through the hall past Buzz McNab, down the staircase and then through the jail room. Halting past the door, she found herself gaping at a face-flat-on-the-floor detective and was completely petrified at the scene.
"McNab!" Juliet called.
McNab came running down into the jail room where she, Shawn and Gus, and Lassiter were.
"Holy Starbucks!" he gasped when he saw the body lying on the floor beside Shawn and Gus's cell.
"He's been murdered!" he exclaimed, putting his hand over his mouth. Juliet rolled her eyes at him and gave him orders to go get help.
"Send every cop down here, now!" she ordered, sending McNab running back up the staircase and into the upper department building, gathering every cop he could find.
Meanwhile, Gus and Juliet were staring down at Lassiter, and Shawn at Juliet from their cell.
"Yeah, uh, you don't seriously think WE killed him, now do you?" Shawn laughed teasingly, punching Gus in the arm to laugh with him.
"First of all, Detective Lassiter is NOT dead. And second of all, then why are you two in jail?" Juliet asked scratching her head while backup was arriving.
"Well why are you wearing a bra?" Shawn retorted quickly, causing Gus to punch him back.
"Really? Seriously?" Gus whispered, visibly agitated now.
"Sorry, I didn't have time to think."
"Oh, you have time. You just don't take it to think before you say something stupid," Gus told him, shaking his head at Shawn's idiocy.
"Uh-ya-uh I'm-I'm getting strong, very strong vibrations that the chief may possibly be out too," Shawn said with his hand up to his head again.
"Will you quit it already?" Gus whispered, irritated at Shawn getting them both stuck in jail.
"You're right. She is," Juliet said.
Then she bent down by Lassiter and turned him over onto his back before McNab and the cops rushed in just in time. Juliet stood back up and then called an ambulance to pick Lassiter up.
"You'd better let us out now, or we'll refuse to help you solve this scourge of the dead zone, dang it!" Shawn sped through his words right as Juliet and the cops carrying Lassiter walked out of the jail room, shutting the door behind them.
"He he he," he chuckled to himself mischievously.
"Laughing isn't going to get us out of here," Gus panicked. "Holy crap! We've just gotta get outta here or I'm gonna—I'm gonna—!"
He started jumping up and down and bobbing his head down and up, until Shawn slapped him directly in the face.
"What the hell did you do that for!" Gus exclaimed, now calming down a bit.
"Will you shut your ass already?" Shawn scolded.
"Shutting up isn't the way to be heard, Shawn! I wanna be heard!" Gus exclaimed, jumping up and down again.
"But why, Gus, when I'VE GOT THE KEYS!" Shawn hollered over of Gus's flipping out.
"Give me those keys," he demanded with no hesitation. "By the way, why were we in jail in the first place?"
Shawn glanced away from him and began observing the lights.
"Hmm, that one is only half as bright as that one," he said childishly, pointing up at the rectangular lights on the ceiling.
"Oh no. No no no no! Don't tell me you stole that pineapple from the grocery store! Why, Shawn? Why?"
"I had to give it to somebody for her birthday!" Shawn confessed.
"You could have saved us all that time we wasted for five hours!" Gus exclaimed.
"Whoa! What have you been eating?" Shawn waved his hand back and forth as Gus finally pushed open the cell door, letting it swing back and hit the bar of the cell with a loud clang.
"Spicy Nachos!" Gus replied as he ran out of the jail cell. But as he got to the door, he bashed his head into it and stumbled backwards from such a huge force. It was still closed.
"Wow Gus," Shawn laughed as he walked up to the door and turned the knob. "And you call yourself a man."
"I am a man," Gus said before pointing fingers at Shawn as he walked out the door, "which makes YOU NOT a psychic!"