Dearly Beloved

Kyoko knows she has a crush on Sawada Tsunayoshi.

She also knows he doesn't return the sentiment.

She doesn't fall for him for that reason— she wasn't searching for love in the first place, after all. She falls for him because even as people mock him, even as they hurt him, Tsunayoshi never showed signs of cracking. Never stopped walking forward. Never stopped trying.

And it hurts, how he falls for Hoshi in the span of a day when he's never looked at her twice for years. It hurts, how Hoshi is a genuinely kind person, because she can't resent him even if she tried.

It hurts, but...she knows she'll get over it, eventually.

.🌟.

Kyoko bites her lip as she watches Hoshi hand Tsuna a birthday present.

She envies the way Hoshi makes Tsuna's cheeks turn red, envies the way she catches Tsuna staring at him, envies the way they can laugh together freely-

But you can't have any of that, because you've hurt him before, a nasty voice at the back of her mind whispers.

And it was right.

Because that one time she had spoken to him in elementary, she had also seen him getting beaten up right after school, and, and- it had been all her fault, hadn't it? She noticed, the way the bullying got worse after that, but she couldn't do anything and it was all her fault-

She tried to tell, of course. The teachers only gave the bullies detention, and the teasing never lessened. Kyoko couldn't tell her brother, not after she asked him to stop fighting. And she was weak.

So, so weak.

All her fault.

"Kyoko-chan, you okay?" She looks up to meet Hoshi's concerned frown. "There's no need to be scared— he'll be overjoyed at getting a present from you."

Would he really?

He wouldn't, if he knew.

Nevertheless, Kyoko finds herself smiling as she hands her own present over to Tsuna.

"Happy birthday, Tsuna-kun!" She chirps, and her heart flutters at the way he smiles.

.🌟.

"Hoshi-kun...please teach me how to fight."

...She doesn't want to be weak anymore.

.🌟.

Kyoko grits her teeth as she twirls the naginata and thrusts it forward. The training dummy shakes with the force, and Kyoko swiftly pulls the weapon out before-

"Stop. That was good, Kyoko-chan."

Kyoko eagerly takes the water bottle, wiping her sweat on the towel given to her. Her arms sting with the workout, and Kyoko feels...exhilarated. Satisfied. She hasn't felt this way since that one time she knocked a molester unconscious.

Hoshi —whom she envied, admired, and hated and when she had asked for help he still gave it to her and she was so, so grateful— grins and pats her head.

"I'm proud of you!" He says. "I've never taught anyone before, but I'm pretty sure you're learning very quickly, Kyoko-chan! You might even get better than me!"

"Thanks, Hoshi-kun," Kyoko giggles breathlessly, "but you're much more graceful than I could ever be."

"Well, let's both work hard!"

.🌟.

Kyoko resolutely refuses to look at the blush Tsuna is sporting as he stares at Hoshi. Refuses.

She wants to be able to make him look like that—

All her fault.

...It was for the best that he didn't.

She can feel her heart constricting painfully as she continues to talk to Hana.

.🌟.

Tsuna is in the mafia.

The mafia. She turns the thought over in her head. The mafia.

It explains so much, but it means that if she wants to stay with him, she'll have to step up her game. As much as she resents it —she was so helpless why couldn't she do anything by herself— Kyoko turns to Hoshi once again.

.🌟.

"Actually...you look like you'd be great at infiltration, Kyoko-chan...but. Are you sure you want this?"

"Yes."

She cannot be weak anymore.

.🌟.

Kyoko watches with morbid fascination at the indigo...thing puffing out of her hands.

It's fire, her mind reasons. Dangerous.

It doesn't move like fire does.

Still more like fire than anything else.

But it's indigo.

There are blue chemical fires, aren't there?

But it's coming out of her hands.

Hoshi chooses that moment to walk in.

"Oh," he says, after a bout of silence. "Congrats. You've unlocked your Dying Will Flame."

.🌟.

No matter how far she reaches, no matter how much she chases— in the end, she keeps on being left behind.

Why? She wants to scream. Why? Am I that weak? Am I that useless?

She knows that's not true. She's beaten off thugs and the yakuza and even the occasional mafioso by this point. Hoshi just had a tendency to get swept up into the giant mess that always seemed to follow Tsuna around.

She gets the chance to prove herself with the arrival of pink smoke.

.🌟.

"I can fight too!" Kyoko snaps. Her patience, her kindness, her tolerance— all gone.

She isn't weak anymore.

And yet, yet— she's still being treated as if she's someone to be coddled.

She hates it. Why, why, why can't they see?

"I may not be as good as you all, I may not be as skilled as you all, but I can fight too! I'm not a damsel in distress! I deserve the right to know what's going on!"

Everyone stares at her, shocked into silence. Kyoko pushes on relentlessly, and when she spots Hoshi's approving smile, pride swells in her chest.

"You all tell me that I'll get hurt, that I'll be in danger, but I already have been in danger! Did you know that just two weeks ago, an assassin found his way into my room?! No? Well guess what! I was the one that had to get rid of him! I was the one that protected myself! And I know I'm not strong, but I'm not fucking weak either!"

"You know how to fight?" Her brother asks, dumbfounded expression slowly morphing into rage. He's completely missing the point, she seethes quietly. The obtuseness she used to find endearing isn't so cute anymore. "Who taught you?"

"Me."

Heads turn to face Hoshi, who had a wholly unrepentant expression as he stared Ryohei down.

"How could you!" He explodes. "She'll get hurt! Kyoko isn't involved in this, why did you—"

And she is done. Not only is her own brother brushing her off, he's yelling at the person who had helped her the most, and she is done letting people say whatever they wanted.

"STOP TALKING ABOUT ME AS IF I'M NOT HERE!"

Her naginata sings as she disperses the Mist Flames covering it up and swings it in an arc. Ryohei dodges and Kyoko lunges, fingers skillfully twirling the long weapon.

That is the day she is stopped being written off as weak, and the acknowledgement makes her smile a bit brighter.

.🌟.

Kyoko's lips curl up as she sees Hoshi drop his clip.

She has to muffle a giggle when both Tsunayoshi and Hoshi kneel down at the same time, and their fingers brush together. She is shaking with laughter as they look up in unison, and pink dusts Tsuna's cheeks when he notices the proximity of their faces.

Hoshi blinks in confusion and tilts his head. The sun's rays hit just right, and Kyoko swears she sees sparkles-

Tsuna's face explodes into red and Kyoko can't stifle her giggles anymore, because Hoshi looks absolutely dumbfounded as he asks Tsunayoshi if he has a fever.

The envy is only a small pang by this point, and Kyoko is surprised at that realization.

Maybe she's finally getting over it— or maybe, just seeing Tsunayoshi so happy soothes her heart, somewhat.

.🌟.

She wants to scream. She wants to wail and laugh and shout and sob and—

...How could he do this to them?

Hoshi...Hoshi— that stupid, stupid Hoshi—

How could he leave them behind? How could he leave her behind? How could he leave Tsunayoshi behind?

Didn't he know how precious he was to them?

Didn't he know how much he meant to her?

Didn't he know that he would leave Tsunayoshi broken?

No, that convoluted part of her mind hisses. No, he never knew. He grew up pressured and stressed and held at a distance. No one's ever told him how important he was, how irreplaceable he was, how he was a part of the family. No one, no one, no one. Not even you.

All her fault.

Kyoko is disgusted at herself, because even though Hoshi had been her mentor, even though he had been one of her best friends, even though he had been one of her most precious people—

In the end, she can still feel that tiny bubble of relief in her heart.

Disgusting.

She doesn't want to face Tsunayoshi when she's like this.

.🌟.

She drowns herself in missions, completed using the techniques Hoshi had passed down to her. She makes a name for herself, and observes as mafioso from around the world stare at her in awe. She watches, heart tearing into two, as Tsunayoshi struggles to cope with the loss.

Kyoko knows she has a crush on Sawada Tsunayoshi.

She also knows that he will never reciprocate the feeling to anyone, not after the event that shattered him into a thousand pieces.

She knows, and...she'll get over it, eventually.

(...Eventually.)

Feel free to send in AU's and such in a review!