Kimmie here!! This is based off the song 'I Hate You I Love You'. This is after the war with Voldemart, and I hope you enjoy it. Sorry if it sucks .
WARNING:
Slight Depression talk.
And swearing. Lots of swearing.
Draco was broken. His years at Hogwarts had finally taken its toll. His father's abuse, the constant pressure, not to mention him. He would spend countless hours, thinking of him. The boy he was supposed to hate. Harry Potter, the freaking boy who lived.
Feeling used
But I'm still missing you
And I can't see the end of this
The dreams he would have drove him nuts. Just the two of them, alone with each other. Nothing but apologies and sweet nothings would be exchanged between the two. Each time Draco woke up from these wonderful dreams, a wave of disappointment would wash through him.
Just wanna feel your kiss against my lips
And now all this time is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
Every time Draco tried to apologize to Harry for everything he's done, he could never do it. He can never come up with the right words. He practices in his head, as if he were trying out for a role in a play. But when Draco's around Harry, all the words seem to die off his tongue.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
Harry won't get out of his head, and he won't get out. Draco doesn't understand how one day, Harry is his school rival. And then the next, he's head-over-heels in love with him. Whenever he's thinking about Harry, it's like nothing else matters. No one else matters.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her
Draco would get this burning feeling in his gut whenever he saw Ginny with her arms around all possessive-like. He would be filled with this massive rage. Draco would have to use every will in his body not to punch that girl straight in the face. But it always pained him to see Harry smiling at her. Because Draco knew that he was in love with her, and not him.
I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
Harry never gave Draco the time of day. He never even gave him a second glance! And it hurt him badly. He wanted to go back to the way things were. Where they would fight every chance they got. It wasn't the best, but at least Harry gave Draco attention. He would've preferred that over this complete emptiness.
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Draco remembered once in their 4th year, where their wand fight had gotten a little out of control. Both him and Harry were covered in dirt, and a teacher had to break them apart. Oddly enough, he missed all the fights they had. It even brings a smile to his face when he remembers. Draco just wished Harry would feel the same.
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too,
and I'm always tired but never of you
Every scowl, every insult, every fight...Draco got so attached to it. so much to the point where he would purposely go out of his way to irritate the green-eyed savior. He never got tired of it. Seeing the rage on his face, listening to the comback he makes. Draco won't lie, he enjoys getting under Harry's skin.
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this real out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I nevermind that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
If u wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go
I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night, I sing this song
Draco stared at his untouched food, imaging what things could've been if Draco was nicer to the savior to the wizard world. Maybe they would've been friends. Maybe...Maybe Harry would've fell just as hard as Draco did.
It sure was nice to imagine. Thinking of Harry was really the only thing he did nowadays. You could say he's obsessed, but Draco would disagree.
Draco has changed. A lot. And because of Harry, he's only been worse. He was deathly pale, and he was so thin you could actually see his bones, that is if he ever showed you. Scars covered his bodys, some old and some new. dark bags were under his eyes, and his hair wasn't as well-kept like it used to. The worst has to be his eyes. They were so dull, like all the life has been sucked out of them.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her
Draco silently gulped when he saw Ginny and Harry and few tables down. He couldn't help but stare at the two. A jealously started rising in him. How pathetic and gullible Harry was...Draco saw Ginny cheating on him multiple times. But could he tell Harry? No. He couldn't.
All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
Suddenly his heart felt like it was being crushed when he saw Ginny kiss Harry, which he only returned. To prevent him from crying, Draco bit his lip.
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me
He had to face the truth. Harry never liked Draco, and he never will. He never considered even thinking of befriending the blonde. He always thought of him as the enemy. He could never love someone like Draco.
Yeah all alone I watch you watch her
She's the only thing you've ever seen
Draco watched as the two pulled away from the kiss with smiles on their faces. A look of pure love was on Harry's face, but Ginny didn't have any sort of emotion in her eyes. She may have been wearing a smile, but she didn't have any true feelings for him.
How is it you'll never notice
That you are slowly killing me
He couldn't stand it. Draco stood up from the table, which attracted the attention of a few students.
But he didn't care. He just wanted to get away. Far, far away from the cause of his pain.
So he ran. He ran through the halls, all the way down to the dungeons. He didn't stop until he was in his room.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
He went to his drawer and fumbled for his blade. The only way he knew how to soothe the pain was to slice up his wrists, as ironic as it may seem.
When he found it, he grabbed it as if his life depended on it. He made a small cut on his hand by accident, but he didn't notice let alone care.
He pulled up his sleeves, revealing his scarred up arm. He placed the cold blade at his arm, letting out a shaky breath.
I hate you, I love you
Hesitation filled his head. What would his friends think of this? What would the precious golden boy think? His mom...?
I hate that I want you
A sudden realization went through him. His friends are either dead or not talking to him.
Harry wouldn't care. Why would he? Draco was an ass to him for years, and Harry should only return the favor.
And his mom was gone. She was sent away after the battle with Voldemart. She was no longer here to make things okay.
And thats when he made the first cut. The warm blood dripped down from his arm to the floor.
You want her
Second cut.
you need her
Third cut.
And I'll never be her
An image of Ginny went through Draco's head.
She was the reason why he was so unhappy.
She was the reason why he wanted to die.
And she was going to pay.
~*~
I'm so so sorry it sucks! Draco turned into a Yandere into the end...Betcha never saw that coming, eh?