Rules:
1. Rewrite a scene from a movie for Sheldon and Penny. Or summarize a movie with them as leads: Don't know if it's correct
2. Only one chapter long: Subjective
3. Anything up to 2500 words: 2,496
4. We must be able to recognize the characters: Should be easy if you are a fan of TBBT
5. Deadline Jan. 1. 2016: Done
The story contains 7 main and 4 recurring characters of TBBT.
We're watching a faded documentary, shot in 16mm. A title fades in, identifying the man as Mr. Bazinga. A narrator with a sexy accent begins. (Narrator dialogue throughout story is in italics.)
On screen seated in front of a colored backing is a magnificent masked man in a Superhero suit: early thirties, ruggedly handsome and powerfully built, he fiddles with a clip-on microphone.
Mr. Bazinga muttering to himself, "Is this on? I can break through walls but I can't get one of these things on…"
He finally gets the clip secured and settles in facing his interviewer, Gluten.
"So Mr. Bazinga, do you have a secret identity?"
He flashes his patented megawatt smile. "Every Superhero has a secret identity. Who wants the pressure of being "Super" all the time?"
Another striking, masked Superhero, a woman this time appears in the documentary. A title identifies her as WinO-Woman.
WinO-Woman responds, "Of course I have a secret identity. Who'd want to go shopping as WinO-Woman, you know what I mean?"
The remaining Superhero Blizzardwitz replies, "WinO-Woman, I don't want to know about your mild-mannered alter ego. You tell me you're "Super Mega Ultra Flexible Babe…that's awright with me. I'm good."
"So it appears that you three think about setutling down but are just to busy saving the world."
Documentary pans images of Superheros agreeing and fades to black.
The streets of Municiberg
Mr. Bazinga is in pursuit of bank robbers armed with submachine guns. He sees an old lady waving him down. He lowers his window. The old lady requests help saving her cat. Mr. Bazinga rescues the cat. He jumps into his car to resume pursuit and is startled to find a short pudgy kid wearing a mask and a homemade Superhero costume sitting in the passenger seat.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Mr. Bazinga 2.0."
"No, no. You're that kid from the fan club. L..Leakey!
"My name is Mr. Bazinga 2.0"
Leakey is ejected from the car. Mr. Bazinga fires the afterburners and peels off, leaving Leakey standing alone. There is an ugly scowl on his face and a menacing look in his eyes.
Mr. Bazinga is joined by WinO-Woman they apprehend the robbers and turn them over to the authorities.
"I work alone," says Mr. Bazinga. WinO-Woman smiles and moves very close to Mr. Bazinga.
"Well, I think you need to be more..." In one fluid motion she loops around his body, suddenly behind him and before he can turn…back in front again.
"…flexible."
Dazzled Mr. Bazinga asks, "Are you doing anything later?"
Months later Mr. Bazinga and WinO-Woman are married with Blizzardwitz as best man.
Video Footage: In a stunning turn of events a Superhero is being sued for saving Mr. Sansweet who, apparently, didn't need to be saved.
Film Footage: Outside the courthouse.
"I saved your life!"
"You ruined my death!"
"Listen you little piece of…"
Mr. Bazinga's court losses cost the government millions, and opened the floodgates for dozens of similar lawsuits against Superheroes the world over. Irate taxpayers demonstrate, waving placards that read: "NO MORE SUPER BAILOUTS!" $UPER EXPEN$IVE!"
Congress rules, it is time for their secret identities to become their only identity.
Under tremendous public pressure and the crushing financial burden of an ever-mounting series of lawsuits, the government quietly initiated the Superhero Relocation Program.
They are living among us as average citizens, quietly and anonymously continuing to make the world a better place…
Fifteen years later
Mr. Bazinga now Einstein Von Brainstorm is sixty pounds heavier in plaid pants and a too-tight white-collar shirt is an insurance claims adjuster.
WinO-Woman now Ygrene Von Brainstorm is a stay at home mother of three kids. Only change is that her hips have widened a little but motherhood has agreed with her.
The Principal phones Ygrene regarding their blond haired ten-year old son Zoom and his teacher Mr. Dormerhome.
What's this about? Has Zoom done something wrong?
"I hid a camera. This time I've got him!" said Mr. Dormerhome.
Dormerhome slips a disc out of his jacket and into the DVD hooked up to the TV monitor. Zoom is nervous he didn't expect this. WinO-Woman sees this and shoots Zoom a sharp look.
In the video, Dormerhome approaches his stool and sits. Suddenly he jumps up in pain.
"See?" said Dormerhome.
No one responds. The tape showed Zoom sitting.
WinO-Woman jerks her head toward the principal.
Principal says, "Derrick…"
"Don't Derrick me! This little rat is guilty!"
"You and your son can go now, Mrs. Brainstorm. I'm sorry for your trouble."
"He's guilty you can see it on his smug little face!"
In the car
"Zoom, you need a constructive outlet."
"What about track? I promise I will slow up."
Outside Western View Junior High
Shy, insecure Fuschia Brainstorm waits nervously behind a hedge near the front entrance. The bell sounds, signaling the end of the school day. Fuchsia has a crush on Tony. As Tony descends the steps with his pals he passes Fuchsia who peers at him over the top of some bushes. He stops aware of being watched, and looks back she's not there.
Fuchsia's clothes hang in mid-air with no head. "He looked at me…" A car honks and Fuchsia hustles across the lawn to her mother's waiting station wagon.
Later that night…
The silhouette can be seen of a woman watching Mr. Bazinga and his buddy Blizzardwitz from the driver's seat of a black sports car, discreetly parked in a dark alley. She lowers her binoculars and speaks into a headset.
"This is Xela, the short skinny guy is still with him, just talking."
"What are we doing sitting in the car, Von?"
"We're protecting people."
"We keep sneaking out to do this instead of bowling.
The police scanner squawks we have a fire on fourth and Elias. The friends speed off in the direction of the fire to help. They're followed a beat later by the mysterious Xela in the black sports car.
Ygrene awaits Von who arrives home late. She determines he has been listening to the police scanner and out performing public service with Blizzardwitz. "I don't want our family to be uprooted again because you are out reliving your glory days."
Von's cubicle the following morning.
"Mr. Wisp wants you in his office, Von," says Wisp's receptionist.
Wisp's office contained a coveted window. Every pencil sharpened and aligned to run parallel to the top edge of the desktop.
"Wit down Won. Wi'm not wappy, Won. Not. Wappy. Wask we why?"
"Okay. Why?"
"Wour custowers' winexplicable wowledge of Omamacare's winner workings. Whey're pwenetrating the weauwacracy!"
Von notices a man getting mugged outside Wisp's office. Wisp's notices Von's inattention and looks out the window and sees the mugging. Von rises to go help but Wisp says if he leaves the office he is fired. Neck cords straining Von stays put and is seething.
"He got away."
"Wood whing, woo. Wou were whis close wo wosing wour wob."
Wisp squeaks as Von's enormous right hand flashes out and clamps around his neck.
Wisp's body burst through the four walls, tumbling face down onto the copy machine. It begins to spit out multiple copies of his pressed face. In astonishment Von's co-workers gawk through their shattered walls first at Wisp, then one by one back to Von.
Von's home office
Alone Von dumps all his Omamacare contents of his briefcase into the trash when, clunk! He is startled by a heavy sound. He sees a large manila envelope. He picks it up and is surprised it's heavy. The envelope contains a flat panel screen. Suddenly, the panel projects a red grid over Von's face. A robotic female voice says, "Match Mr. Bazinga. Room is secure. Commence message."
"Hello, Mr. Bazinga. My name is Xela. Yes we know who you are. Rest assured your secret is safe with us. Please pay attention as this message is classified and will not be repeated."
"I represent a top-secret division of the government, designing and testing experimental technology and we have need of your unique abilities. A highly experimental prototype robot has escaped our control. It threatens to cause incalculable damage to itself and to our facilities, jeopardizing hundreds of millions of dollars' worth of equipment and research."
"Your unique abilities can contain the robot. If you choose to accept, your payment will be equivalent to your current annual salary. You can still do great things or you can listen to police scanners. Your choice. You have 24 hours to respond."
Von looks at the pictures on his wall of Mr. Bazinga's gallant past. He leaves his den in search of his wife.
"Honey, the company is sending me to a conference out of town. I'll be gone for a few days."
"Sweetie, I know you miss being a hero and your job is frustrating. I just want you to know how much it means to me that you stay anyway."
Von's den later
Von is on the phone, glancing at the Mr. Bazinga suit in his display. After a ring, a female voice answers.
"I'm in," says Von.
Above the clouds inside a jet
A sleek-looking Manta Jet slices the sky towards a private island. Von is clad in his old too-tight Mr. Bazinga suit. Xela is on board and debriefs him.
"The Magnadroid 9000's artificial intelligence enables it to solve any problem it's confronted with. Consequently, now it's to smart to take orders. We want you to shut it down without completely destroying it."
Mr. Bazinga is jettisoned into the Nomanisan jungle and jogs off to track the robot. He is out of shape and growing winded with each passing mile. He finds the Magnadroid and disables it. A shadowed figure stands with Xela watching Mr. Bazinga on a bank of video screens.
Von's returns home
Von's self esteem is back. He returns home with renewed vigor. He bonds with kids, gets frisky with WinO-Woman and takes pride in his appearance. He buys WinO-Woman a new car and a new sports car for himself.
Von's home months later
He pauses outside his den to examine the torn spot on his Mr. Bazinga supersuit.
A's House
Von's new car pulls up to an imposing gate, with a futuristic web of parallel laser beams. He turns toward the video screen and presses the button beneath it. The screen lights up revealing a burly guard.
"Do you have an appointment?"
"I'm an old friend, I just wanted…"
The guard flinches from something below the camera, and shooed off-screen by a strident female voice.
A pair of huge glasses fronting the top half of a head rises into the bottom half of the screen. "What is it? What do you want?"
Von removes his glasses and grins at the camera.
"My God, you've gotten fat. Come in! Come!"
Inside A's house
"Weren't you just in the news A? Some show in Prague.
"Milan, darling, Milan. Supermodels… Hah! Nothing super about them. Spoiled stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who only think about themselves. FEH! I used to design for Gods!"
"I need a patch job." Von pokes his fingers through the hole of his supersuit.
"This is a hobo suit, you can't be seen in this."
"What do you mean? You designed it."
"I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now."
"You want to make me a new suit?"
"You push to hard, darling…but I accept. It must be bold. Dramatic! Heroic! No capes."
A, flashback to numerous examples of Superheroes that met their end due to their capes.
Von's home days later
WinO-Woman notices a platinum blond hair on Von's suit jacket. At that moment the phone rings and Von anxiously yells he got it. WinO-Woman is suspicious and listens in on the call. It's a woman mentioning a new assignment.
After Von leaves she is cleaning his office and sees that his supersuit has been repaired. She thinks of one person with the skills to repair…'A.' She phones 'A.'
"A you repaired Von's supersuit."
"Yes, yes. Marvelous, isn't it? Much better than those horrible pajamas he used to wear. They are all finished, when are you coming to see? Don't make me beg, darling, I won't do it, you know!"
Back on the Island
Von arrives at the island conference room at the appointed time. He hears a strange sound and the far wall opens up to reveal the jungle and a bigger badder Magnadroid.
A short, young chunky, wild-haired man in a bright caped supersuit descends from the sky on jet-boots, landing on top of the robot.
"I went through quite a few Supers to get it ready for you. After all I am your biggest fan."
"A dark realization falls over Mr. Bazinga's face…Leakey?
"My name isn't Leakey. It's Cinnabon your nemesis!
Cinnabon commands the Magnadroid to attack Bazinga. Then he enters his lair to activate his ultimate plan. To unleash Magnadroid on a major city then swoop in and save the day.
A's testing lab
'A' shows WinO-Woman the suits that she created for her and her children. "A" pointed out that each suit had a tracking device. WinO-Woman finds out that Von was fired from his job months ago.
WinO-Woman is crying. "A" suddenly jumps up on the table. She whacks WinO-Woman with a rolled up newspaper.
"You are WinO-Woman! My God, pull yourself together! You will remind him who you are. You know where he is. Go. Confront the problem! Fight! Win!"
Then says pleasantly, "And call me when you get back, bestie. I enjoy our visits."
WinO-Woman, Zoom, and Fuchsia save Mr. Bazinga from the island. He tells them of Cinnabon's plot and they rush back to the major city. Zoom tells his dad how he escaped the Velocipods and ran on water. Mr. Bazinga contacts Blizzardwitz for help.
Blizzardwitz's apartment
"Sweetness, where is my supersuit?"
Sweetness responds in a loud gritty voice. "What?"
"WHERE. IS. MY. SUPERSUIT?"
"I put it away."
"Where?"
"Why do you need to know?"
"I need it!"
"Huh-uh! You better not be thinking about doing no daring do! We've been planning this dinner for months!"
"The public is in danger!"
"Tell me where my suit is, woman! We're talking about the greater good!"
"Greater good? I am your wife! I am the greatest good you are ever going to get!
The Bazingas and Blizzardwitz manage to explode the Magnadroid. Spontaneous cheers erupts for the heroes welcoming the Supers return.
"See that? That's the way you do it. That's old school."
Cinnabon hovers over the city after he kidnaps Mr. Bazinga's youngest son Jock Jock. As he nears the manta jet Jock Jock wakes and turn into a ball of flames. Cinnabon shrieks barely holding on to the baby. Cinnabon is clawing the jet for purchase he looks over his shoulder in time to see the end of his cape sucked into the intake of the jets turbines. Jock Jock falls safely into his mother's arms.
The End?
I love this movie. Not sure I followed the guidelines correctly if not, "my bad." Hopefully you found it easy to guess the 7 main characters and the 4 recurring TBBT characters.
Bird, Brad. "The Incredibles The Script" Original Screenplay. Disney Enterprises Inc./Pixar Animation Studios. 2004