The not so funny funny story!

This will be my attempt at a funny Cullen Story! Laugh if you will....please tell if funny.

WARNING: No characters will be the same as in the books!

EsPoV

Crash! Bang! Boom! Ahh. What unlovley children I have...well Bella is kind of normal. Sort of...though the others are wearing off on her. Edward is...well Edward. Alice is a shopaholic little freak. Rosalie is a self absorbd teenage vampire. Jasper is well...kinda evil. Emmett is....um. Kinda stupid...not kinda. Bella is...somewhat on the normal side. Exept she has an obssesion for shiny things... "Emmett! What the heck did you break!" I called. Outside...in the sun. With my garden. Ahh, garden...it didn't talk back...or break stuff. I didn't know where Carlisle my darling husband was....probably escaped to work...lucky vampire.

"Nothing Esme." Called Rose. "Yeah!" I yelled "Sounded like a hole lotta nothin." Bella laughed. They better not have broken the T.V. That would have been the third one...in one day!!!!

"I didn't do it!" Emmett called. "Mmhmm" Bella laughed again. "I didn't! Jasper did! And it was...the window!" Bella just burst out laughing...maybe she did have a problem. I growled and marched into the house. The window that outlooked the front lawn was...gone! Bella was rolling around on the floor laughed...Edward was watching from 'his' corner. Rose and Emmett...were...what were they doing? Shudders. Alice was leaning down from the top of the stairs. I have a weird family. And Jasper...Jasper was lying on his stomach on the grass. He was also lying on top of a lot of glass. "What?" Bella sat up quickly. "He thought he could fly." she stated simply then went over and sat beside Edward in 'his' corner. Edward growled. "Oh shut up." Bella yelled hitting him on his head. Alice laughed. "Jasper! We can't fly." I told him. Jasper grumbled something unintelligent. It sounded something like: "I needed to be sure so I could take over the world" but hey! I was probably wrong.

"Clean that up!" I commanded and went back out to tend to my garden. It had lots of pretty flowers in it. They were pretty.

BPoV

"Calm down Edward." I mutterd. He was stilll growling. I didn't know why. It was only me. Emmett and Rose had left...to go do who knows what who knows where...ughn. Alice had gone to reorganize her closet for the what was it? Oh I can' t rememember what time it was...and it's early! Edward growled again. I really wish I could shut him up...but I couldn't since he was so desperate to leave me and damned human...

Jasper had decided to get up. With super cool vampire speed he cleaned up the mess right away. Then he tried to go work the computer to get Esme and new window.... I like shiny things! Edward doesn't like me playing with shiny things. He thinks I'll get and obsession....but it's to late now! I stood up and walked over to the couch. Edward followed. All of a sudden he was jumping over and invisible line...I wonder about him sometimes. My vampire fiance jumping over invisible lines...oh my. "Alice?" I called. She suddenly appeared beside me...before I called her. "Yes Bella?" she asked. Even though she knew what I would ask. "Will you chan-" Alice shook her head "No, Bella." I sighed. "Why?" I asked.

"Because your so called fiance is supposed to." she answered. I looked at her. "Edward? He's jumping over and invisible line Alice." She shook her head. "No, now he is skipping with an invicible rope." I rolled my eyes. "See! That's why you should." She was gone..."Now I'll just talk to myself." I walked over to the wall. "Or I could talk to the wall. Hi how ya doin wall? Good? Me too. I normally talk to the floor but I don't feel like falling."

Well what do you think? Review review review for cake! ~Kyleena~ XoXo