So this is a story I wrote with my violence-obsessed older brother, and we wrote it out of his curiosity about the website, and both of our utter boredom. Read and Flame.
A/N: All Mary-Sues/Gary-Stues are intentional. And a Bronx Cheer is another word for loud flatulence, just in case you were unaware. And there is a slightly racist joke in here, so no offence intended to any Chinese readers.
Disclaimer: We own nothing. Except for Jigglypuff being a vampiress. That one is mine, as well as Assassin Pikachu, which is my brother's. If you have either of these in any of your stories, please do not be offended, because chances are I have not read your story because there are to friggin' many for one person to read and remember all of. Oh, and we do not own the concept of Mary-Sue/Gary-Stues, but we do own the ones mentioned. Please flame unless you actually enjoy this plotless drivel. If you do enjoy, please review!
The Siege of Mario World
Chapter 1-The Fight Begins
Once upon a time in a far off land filled with Mary-Sues and Gary-Stues where everyone was happy all the time, the narrator became annoyed because the narrator hates fluffy happy lands. Narrator decided that this happy land needed some good old-fashioned violence.
But first we have to give you a tour of this far off land called Mario World. Well, the version the narrator made up. Mario World was a huge island that was covered by forests and mountains. In the southern part of the island there were grassy plains. Most people lived in the Southern part of the island near Princess Peach's castle and because the North was not settled very well. There were wild pokemon lurking about and Bowser roamed the lands with his followers. Two groups of pokemon made settlements in the forests of the north. One group was the pikachus and the other was the Jigglypuffs. Some humans still managed to live in the wild north in small towns of cottages. These were the first to be attacked. The first to learn of the attack was the character we are about to introduce.
Miss Susanivanranica was brushing her silky, luxurious, golden locks on her gorgeous porch balcony. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining bright through the trees. Then as Miss Susanivanranica looked out upon the day through her clear blue eyes, a lone red dot appeared on her head.
"Now what could that be?" she asked. She tried to brush it off and it wouldn't come off.
"Humph." She grunted daintily. She tried to force it off with her magical powers that could defeat any warrior. The dot remained, and Susanivanranica had a headache, which she instantly cured with her healing powers.
"I want it off now!" Susani sulked.
"Butler!" she shouted.
A very fat man in a tuxedo stumbled out of the doorway after Miss Susanivanranica heard him fall down both flights of stairs, trip on a small table, and get himself out of the doorway when he was stuck in it.
"What is the problem Miss?" Butler asked.
"There is a red dot on me and it won't come off. Get it off now!"
"Get down! Nooooooooooooo!" he cried and tried to reenact the matrix but the red dot was apparently a target, and a pink fluffy ball of fluff named Jigglypuff shot onto his chest and clamped her teeth into his many-chinned neck.
"Jiggles! Jigglypuff! Puff!" (Which meant: You have more chins than a Chinese phonebook, Lard!)
Then she jumped next to Miss Susanivanranica, whose normally aqua eyes had turned a dangerous shade of violet. Susanivanranica grabbed her comb, which flashed and morphed into a katana. Susanivanranica slashed once, her blade moving at an unreal speed. Jigglypuff smiled, her newly sharpened teeth glistening. Jiggles lunged at the Uber-Sue and sank her teeth into the girl's neck. Susanivanranica's body lit and dissipated into a silvery mist that slowly faded. Jigglypuff smirked. Her work here was done.
She flew out of the balcony to join the swarm of her army that was now heading for Whoville. The army consisted of Pikachu and the pikachus along with the jigglypuffs and Bowser's horde of creatures. (The character Jigglypuff has her name capitalized and same with Pikachu later on.) They charged over the hill into Whoville.
The Whos, of course, were Christmas shopping in the middle of the summer. The Grinch was in the street, casually hitting people with large rocks, dropping marbles on the road, and generally causing mayhem painful to others and hilarious to him. So more trouble arrived from all sides.
The Grinch cackled when he knew help was coming. This was his chance to kill the Whos once and for all. As he was demonstrating his extensive knowledge of mischief and evil laughter, the advancing armies gunned him down.
"Pika! Pika!" yelled Pikachu as he let out a Bronx cheer on what was left of the Grinch.
Jigglypuff sawed her bloody teeth through a cheery lamppost, which then crushed several small Whos riding a bus smaller than their assassin.
In the center of the town square, a small child dressed as Orphan Annie bleated "TOMORROW! TOMORROW! IT'S CHRISTMAS-TOMORROW! IT'S ONLY A DAY…….A……..WAAAA-HURK!" The unfortunate child choked as she was blasted through a store window by a shotgun at point blank range. As the dust cleared a lone figure stood holding the shotgun and wearing a red bandana that only went around his head and behind his ears. He snickered. "Pika! Pika! Pikachu!" (Which meant: "Stupid kid. It's July, not December.")
Then he farted on Annie's face.
Thus Brings an Abrubt End to the Chapter