(After Season 12)
Bonesology fanfic challenge: Write a one-shot in which one of the six regular characters is moving. It can be anyone and they can be moving for any reason, but you must include 2 the following: a lame joke that no one finds funny, a reference to an old movie, Parker, ice cream, a kiss, something broken during the move.
I hope you find this amusing.
I don't own Bones.
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It was moving day at the Lab and Booth and Brennan decided to make it into a day of celebration. The weather was supposed to be bad that day, so everyone was grateful that the parking garage was on the other side of the Jeffersonian and hadn't been damaged by the explosion. The second floor of the parking garage was shutdown to anyone that didn't work in the Lab or wasn't helping with the move, but because it was a Saturday, it didn't create that much hardship for the rest of the Jeffersonian employees.
Brennan had invited former and current interns to come help the staff move into the Lab and as a reward she was catering a barbeque. The caterer set up his tent early that morning in the parking garage near the elevator and lunch would be provided at around noon. Not only was mouth-watering brisket and ribs going to be served, but so were vegetable kabobs, grilled mushrooms, grilled corn and a lot of side dishes. For dessert, there was cake, cookies and cold watermelon slices.
Hodgins had loved the idea of celebrating the return of the employees to the Lab and because he was temporarily in charge, he signed all of the forms that would sanction the party and the extra security required to guard the cars and trucks filled with equipment and personal items while the material was being moved in to the Lab.
Once they arrived, Booth parked in Brennan's parking place and turned to look at his wife. "Well this is it. By Monday you guys are going to be ready for business and I can't wait. I'm tired of walking into the Lab and having to watch my feet to keep from tripping over construction crap and that near miss when a skylight panel fell and hit the ground ten feet from where I was standing, shit I like to have had a heart attack that day."
Excited that the Lab was going to be completely usable on Monday, Brennan leaned over and kissed her husband. "You were in Angela's office and in no danger."
Placing his hand around the back of her head, Booth kissed her hard. It had been a long three months while the Lab had been repaired and Booth was reminded of just how close he had come to losing his wife in the explosion. Security had been beefed up at the Lab and a safe room had been built in the Lab just in case it was ever needed. Hodgins and Cam had had meetings with the Board of Regents and they had all come to the collusion that the scientists working at the Lab had to be better protected than they were in the past. Not only was an electronic key required to get into the Lab, there was now a security desk set up just outside the main entrance to the Lab and everyone had to sign in before they could continue through the main doors.
Once their lips were parted, Booth glanced towards a car approaching slowly up the ramp. It parked next the barbeque tent and a young man left his car and entered the tent. "Let's get you moved in." Once he was outside of the SUV, Booth moved around to the back, opened the tail gate and removed two dollies that Brennan had given him as presents when they had moved into their Mighty Hut from their apartments. She was afraid he would strain his back and had hoped the dollies would make moving easier. Booth was proud of his dollies and used them whenever anyone asked him to help move. He was sure that he was the envy of his friends.
After unfolding the platform dolly, Booth rolled it towards Brennan who grasped the handle and rolled it to the passenger section of the SUV and started to unload boxes to the dolly. Booth rolled the moving dolly he had around to the other side of the SUV and started to unload boxes from that side. "Are you sure you have everything, Bones? Maybe you should have included that kitchen sink."
Confused, Brennan dropped her box on her dolly, turned to look at her husband and then laughed. "A joke. Very funny. I have no need for a sink therefore you are intimating that I have brought more things than is required."
Careful to not let Brennan see him roll his eyes, Booth moved another box to his dolly and closed the passenger door. While Booth waited for Brennan to decide if she had enough on her dolly for an optimum load, Cam rolled up in her car and Arastoo in his car. After they parked side by side, they started to unload their cars with the help of their adopted sons who had insisted that they help with moving day.
"Hey Cam long time no see." Booth hadn't seen Cam for the last month as she and Arastoo had driven down to Florida for a three week vacation with their sons before school started for the boys. "You know packing and relocating can be a moving experience." The groan from Arastoo told Booth that his joke had gone over like a lead balloon, but he didn't care. "I got more."
Cam shook her head and stared at the two dollies with envy. "I told Arastoo we should buy a dolly. They're just so handy to have."
"Don't I know it?" Booth was proud that he owned two. "It beats carrying boxes and heavy shit around."
Coveting Booth's dolly, Jordan pulled a box from the trunk of his father's car and sighed. "Daddy, we should definitely buy a dolly. Maybe you can buy me one for Christmas."
Surprised, Arastoo turned to look at his youngest son in amazement. "You want a dolly for Christmas?"
Jordan nodded his head and pointed at the one Brennan was using. "Like that one."
Cam shrugged her shoulders, handed a box to Isaiah, another one to Tyler and pointed at the elevator. "If that's what you want, then I'll see that you get one." Carrying two bags, Cam followed the boys over to the elevator while Booth, Brennan and Arastoo followed.
As they passed the barbeque tent, Booth inhaled and his mouth started to water. "God, that smells so good." After Cam and her family entered the elevator, Booth and Brennan decided to wait until the elevator car came back. While they waited an SUV pulled into the parking garage and parked next to Booth's SUV. "Looks like Aubrey is here."
Agent James Aubrey opened the door to his SUV, slid out of the truck, slammed the door shut and walked over to the elevator. "Hey, I made it. If we get enough people to come, we should have everything moved in and set up in no time."
Booth smiled at his friend. "You know packing and relocating can be a moving experience."
A look of puzzlement on Aubrey's face told Booth that his joke had once more bombed. The elevator car finally arrived and all three moved into the car and rode it down to the first floor. Once they were there, they moved down the long hallway until they arrived at the Lab. Once they were signed in, the dollies were rolled down the hall into Brennan's office and everyone grabbed a box and opened it. Brennan inspected the contents of each box and pointed at the exact location the contents should reside. Once they were done, they left the Lab and returned to the garage with their dollies where they found Hodgins and Angela parked in Hodgins handicapped parking place. Angela was holding a box while Hodgins had a smaller one sitting on his lap.
Rushing over towards the couple, Aubrey smiled and took the box from Angela. "Hey let me help." Angela smiled and moved a few boxes onto the floor of the garage and quickly followed that by removing a platform dolly, unfolding it and setting it up next to the boxes. "Do you like it?"
Aubrey was once more filled with envy. He envied Booth's dollies and now that he saw that Angela had one, he was determined to buy one for himself. "Hey, you know packing and relocating can be a moving experience."
Snorting, Hodgins shook his head and carefully placed the small box on top of the boxes now sitting on the dolly. "Oh my God, where did you get that one?"
His cheeks a warm red, Aubrey pointed at Booth who was unloading more boxes from his SUV.
Hodgins shook his head. "Figures." A better joke popped into his head and Hodgins called it out to Booth. "Hey Booth, I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day, but I couldn't find any."
Since she had just gone clothes shopping the previous week, Brennan placed a bag on top of her pile of boxes and turned to face her friend. "Oh, I saw some at Wal-Mart last week. I told Booth and he's planning on buying a pair next week."
Obviously his joke had been just as much of a dud as Booth's and Hodgins felt sad. "Thanks Dr. B."
Booth snickered, leaned close to Brennan and whispered in her ear. Enlightened, Brennan turned once more to face Hodgins. "Oh a joke. That is very amusing."
"Yeah, thanks." Hodgins looked at his wife with a painful expression causing Angela to laugh while Aubrey patted Hodgins' shoulder.
Before the dollies were completely loaded, Dr. Wendell Bray drove up with his fiancé Andie in the front seat, Collin Fisher in the back seat and called out to his friends once he was out of his car. "Hey you guys, great day to move."
Everyone waved at Wendell and his companions and moved over to the elevator car. Once the car arrive, Cam and her family left the car while Angela and Hodgins rolled in with Aubrey entering the car with them.
While they waited for the elevator car to return, Booth and Brennan chatted about their plans for Sunday. Booth wanted to take the kids to a ballgame and Brennan wanted to go to a new exhibit at the Smithsonian. They knew it would require a lot of discussion before their plans were set, but they didn't mind. They knew they'd work it out one way or another.
Clark drove up, parked in his parking place and exited his car. His new girlfriend exited the car and shyly stood near the trunk of the car while Clark removed some boxes and handed a smaller one to Tina.
The elevator car arrived and before Booth entered it, Booth called out to Clark. "Hey, you know packing and relocating can be a moving experience, right Clark?"
Tina laughed and shook her head. "Oh I love puns. That's very funny."
Amazed that someone had finally laughed at his joke, Booth grinned. "I got more."
Clark leaned over and whispered into his girlfriend's ear. "Please don't encourage him."
Tina laughed once more and watched the elevator door close. "It was cute. Who was that?"
"That was Agent Booth. He's the head of Major Crimes at the FBI." His arms now full, Clark left the trunk open and walked over to the elevator. Wendell and his crew were waiting for the elevator and chatted about the good smells coming from the tent. Before the car arrived, an old van pulled into the parking garage and several young interns disgorged from the vehicle and streamed over to the elevator. Clark was pleased to see the interns and pointed at his car. "Feel free to grab boxes from my car and bring them to my office. Thank you." As the interns hurried over to his car, Clark and Tina entered the elevator car and rode it down, exited out in the hallway and carried their boxes to the Lab leaving Wendell, Andie and Fisher to follow when the elevator car came back. Moving Day was under way and they seemed to have enough people to make the job easy for everyone.
Once he was in the Lab, Clark looked around and sighed. "I never thought they could fix it let alone in three months . . . it's like a second home you know?"
Tina did know. She was a paleontologist and she loved the Jeffersonian. She had been working there for two years and she knew that she had found a great place to work at so early in her career. "I'm so glad they could fix it too. Clark . . . . Why does lightning shock people? . . . Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself."
Clark dutifully laughed and led Tina to his office. A crash in the distance and the anthropologist knew that something hadn't survived the move.
"Damn it, Aubrey." Hodgins stared at his spiders now crawling from the small aquarium that the Agent had just dropped and broke and he knew they were in big trouble. "Quick, pick up the spiders and put them in that empty aquarium over there before they get out of the room. Cam will have our hides if she sees one."
He had dropped the glass box when he had gone to move it and he'd realized it was full of spiders. "Are you fucking nuts? I'm not doing that."
As they both watched two spiders skitter out of the room they heard a young voice in the hallway. "Look Mama, can I keep them?"
A scream and running feet and Hodgins and Aubrey knew Cam's answer. "Damn it, Aubrey."
Not willing to take responsibility, Aubrey shrugged his shoulders. "I hate spiders. It was your responsibility to tell me before I moved the damn thing that it was full of those disgusting creatures."
Carrying the stray tarantulas back into the room, Jordan and Isaiah, spied several on the floor and grinned. Jordon noticed an empty aquarium and placed the escapees in the glass box. Aubrey flinched whenever one of the spiders came near him, but he decided to stay where he was since most of the spiders were closer to Hodgins. With the two boys moving quickly, Jordan and Isaiah captured the rest of the arachnids moving around the Ookie room and placed them safely away. "Gosh, I love this room."
"You're welcome to come by anytime Jordan, you too Isaiah." Hodgins inspected his spiders and felt that they were okay. "Why don't you guys help me? Agent Aubrey is afraid of spiders."
His hand over his mouth to hide his smile, Isaiah watched as the FBI Agent left the room in a huff. "Sure, Dr. Hodgins."
Once in the hallway, Aubrey spied Cam standing outside of the Lab looking in. He waved his hand and motioned for her to come back in. Once she was through the door, the agent blushed. "Sorry, that was my fault. Your kids found them all, it's okay."
Relieved, Cam shook her head. "Jordan wants to be an entomologist."
A smirk on his face, Aubrey shoved his hands in his pants pockets and walked over to Angela's office to see if she needed any help. "Good luck with that."
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Let me know what you think of my story. Thank you.