for Tanuki-dono

It took Subaru a moment to realize where he was, and only another three or so to wish he was anywhere else. There was the expression sleeping with the enemy, but this was ridiculous. There shouldn't be an arm thrown over him in such a languidly comfortable way, legs and blankets shouldn't be tangled in such as a way to blatantly remind him of last nights loss of control.

It wasn't fair.

Then again, through the years, he had come to realize nothing really was. If there was some concept of fairness it would involve him waking up exactly as he just had, but there would be no guilt, no shame, and his sister would be calling any moment to laugh at him, tease in that way only close siblings can get away with.

But, here he was, curled up against the man who was his enemy on so many levels, and damn it all to hell, he didn't want to move. With the shades drawn, with the other safely unconscious, he could pretend, at least for a moment, that he was happy.

Seishiro really knew how to ruin Subaru's little moments. The man stretched with the pleased leisure of a cat, and smiled a heartbreakingly sweet smile at his lover. The look in his good eye had a teasing, taunting sort of gleam to it, the only indication that the world hadn't gone completely mad over night, as that look of bliss on Seishiro's face was far too innocent to be believed.

"Good morning, Subaru-kun." Seishiro greeted, kissing the lobe of the Subaru's left ear.

Subaru tried to ignore the man, tried to ignore the way he moved to nuzzle the tender spot at the crook of his neck…tried to ignore how the familiar musk of the man made him want to give it all up and just stay here, wrapped in his arms. Duty and obligation be damned…he had missed this man, this brutal, beloved man…he closed tortured eyes and leaned into Seishiro, muscles that night have wanted to protest a moment before going limp and submissive.

"Much as I loathe letting you go, they will be looking for you, Subaru." Seishiro murmured a handful of heartbeats later.

I don't care…

"Your Kamui is most likely worried right now. Probably thinking you are broken and bleeding somewhere." There was an almost content tone to Seishiro's voice as he contemplated that idea, as if it suited him just fine.

Close enough…

Seishiro bit down on the junction of Subaru's left shoulder and neck, taking a painful moment to mark his lover, possessively irate that they had to part. "I could kill you here, Subaru-kun. Those are the rules of the game we are all playing." There was a dark, velvet soft threat in Seishiro's whispered words, and Subaru felt gooseflesh shudder to life along his arms. "You are mine." Seishiro pressed an almost gentle kiss atop the livid mark he had left on Subaru's pale flesh. Then he pulled away, sat on the edge of the bed and stretched, right hand rifling through the nightstand looking for a pack of cigarettes.

Subaru knew a dismissal when he was hit by one. Neck throbbing where Seishiro had worked at sensitive flesh he stood and reached for his clothing. He felt Seishiro watching him as he dressed and resisted the urge to round on the other man with a snarl. After all, he had sought Seishiro out the previous night. Gathering a few scattered things from the floor, Subaru turned to leave, only to be stopped by Seishiro's vice-like grip on his right wrist. He turned, an eyebrow eloquently raised in silent question.

Seishiro turned the wrist over, and placed an oddly lingering kiss on the sensitive skin. "Come back this evening."

How could Subaru deny him? "I hate you." He whispered, voice harsh.

"I know." Seishiro traced his fingers along Subaru's arms, teasing for a moment, and then released him.

Stalking out into the painfully bright morning sun, Subaru contemplated, disgusted with himself, his weakness, the very precarious ledge separating hatred from adulation.