Forgivable Sin
He heard someone sniffing and that's what woke him up.
'Rukia….', Renji breathed when he saw a small dark haired figure sitting beside him, apparently shaking from something more than the chill.
'Renji, you shouldn't move. Captain Unohana ordered you strict bed rest', Rukia said as she pushed him back to the bed.
'But why are you crying?', Renji said, sitting bolt upright on the bed.
'I am not crying. And you better be thankful that we're in the hospital or otherwise I wouldn't hesitate to punch you for your reckless stunt out there. You are apparently not supposed to be harassed while you're in the hospital though, according to captain Unohana', Rukia said giving up on her attempts to force him to lie down.
Renji smirked. He knew she would be angry but he couldn't just let the hollow attack her. It was necessary to divert the hollow's attention while the other shinigami slays it apart and he had decided to be the sacrifice. He wouldn't let any hollow or shinigami or anything to harm Rukia in front of his eyes. He just would not allow it.
'What's the deal? You killed our target or are you crying because you couldn't? Seriously Rukia, any amateur could have done it..', he was silenced by a slight thud on his head.
'Of course, I slayed it but who in the world gave you the right to be the scapegoat. For a moment I thought that I…', Rukia's words trailed off midway and there was absolute silence.
Renji glanced at her. She looked troubled and sad.
'What's the matter, Rukia?', Renji asked in a calm tone.
'Nothing in particular', but her reply was a bit too quick.
Renji glared at her but she avoided his glare, busying herself with the medicines on his bedside table.
'Fine', Renji muttered, ' I'll just keep worrying what's troubling you and you don't need to provide any explaination.'
'Renji….', Rukia started.
'Just say it, Rukia. It's gonna save both of our time', Renji grasped her hand which was busy fiddling with the painkillers.
Rukia looked at him confused and he refused to look away.
'It's just that I couldn't forgive myself if something were to happen to you too. I am already responsible for Kaien's death and..'
'For god's sake, Rukia, stop beating yourself for that incident. You did the right thing and there's nothing more to that', Renji shouted at her.
He could not forgive himself for not being there when she needed him the most. He had missed out on so many events in her life that he himself wasn't aware when the girl had changed so much. But still she was the same Rukia who had always been there for him and who even after being rough and tomboyish on the surface possesed an innocent and caring heart which he didn't want to change.
'You don't understand Renji. I killed my superior with these hands. How can I ever forgive myself', Rukia said in a hollow tone.
'Like everybody else have', Renji retorted back.
'Because they don't know anything', she snapped at him.
Renji took a deep breath and freed her hand.
'I know what he meant to you', Renji continued as he looked away from her and outside the window, 'I know the pain of losing someone close. But sometimes you have to do something for that person's sake. You just have to.' He looked at her again, 'Kaien would have wanted you to kill him. Besides, what would you have wanted if you were in his place?'
Rukia flinched but didn't answer.
'See', Renji gave a sad smile, 'You would have wished for the same thing.'
Rukia kept staring at him. Then unexpectedly, she got up and hugged him tight.
'Rukia, hey…', Renji started, astounded.
'I missed you all these years, so hurry up and get well soon. We have a lot to catch up on', Rukia murmured.
'We sure do…', Renji whispered back as he returned her hug. His girl has came back to him.