Previously...

"Doctor Luka Kovac," he held his hand out towards her and saw her eyes move down his arm towards it.

"Nurse Sam Taggert, started this morning," she replied and he tried to ignore the tingling sensation that made its way up his arm at the touch of her hand.

Oh, this was not good.

"Hey, you going to the christmas party?" Abby asked as she retrieved her bag out of her locker.

Sam thought for a few seconds before nodding.

"Yeah, but I got nothing to wear."

Abby nodded and smiled, raising her eyebrow slightly.

"Well, neither do I. What time do you get off?"

Sam looked at the clock.

"Uh... another hour."

"Okay. What would you say to some shopping later today? We could pick up some new clothes, buy a few christmas gifts, get some lunch, what do you say?"

"Uh..." Sam stuttered as she tried to look at him without allowing her eyes to dip below his neck line. She wouldn't meet his eyes. Luka could see her eyes dip occasionally to his bare torso and then straight back up to his face. "Abby..." She coughed slightly to clear her throat and Luka smiled at her uncomfortable state. "Abby and I are going to catch a movie tonight." Luka nodded. "And uh..." Her eyes drifted south again and Luka tried to contain his grin. "She gave me this address..." he saw her frown of confusion shift into an 'oh' face and he frowned himself. "I didn't know that you and Abby..." Her eyes darted to the wall beside the door and she reached out to fiddle with doorjamb.

"Luka... oh my god..."

She fingered the fine white gold chain and her fingers trailed down to the pendant. It was several swirling lines that were not an 'S' but were very close to it. In between the swirls were what looks like vines of some sort. Sam was taken aback.

Abby thought about it for a few minutes. Luka had never cheated on her. Sam had Steve. Luka had never lied to her, and the fact that he admitted that Sam had been there told her that he was telling the truth. But she couldn't help but feel as though there was something he wasn't telling her.

"You're attracted to her aren't you?" She said finally, quietly making it sound more like a statement than a question.

"My son," she says and her words are lost in her sobs as Luka's throat closes up.

She has a son?

He doesn't say anything, instead, let's his mind wander back to his own son, Marko and he can feel the familiar clench in his heart.

"He was so little..."

Luka pulled his legs up onto the couch and shifted her body so she was sitting across his lap and he rocked her, as he ran his hands through her hair.

"I was fifteen. Sixteen when he... died."

"Sam?" He breathed out and saw her turn her head a little further into her own crooked elbow. "I'm going to kiss you, Sam," he whispered.

He waited a few seconds for her reaction but when he received none, he shuffled his head forward and his lips brushed hers lightly.

"I'm in love with you, Sam. And I... I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to wake up every morning and see your face lying beside me on the pillow. I can't keep pretending that I'm not in love with you, Sam. It's killing me." He watched as she raised her head and he felt his heartbreak, for the second time in his life, and he looked away from her. "We're at a dead end Sam. We've gone as far as we can in this thing we call a relationship. We can't go back because that would kill both of us - well I know that it would kill me anyway. The only way we can go anywhere is if we move forward," he looked at her tear filled eyes and shook his head. "But I can see that you're not ready to do that, for some reason. And I have to stop this... because this will kill me, it's already killing us."

"I'm moving back to Elgin," she said as she watched his eyebrows crease together and he pursed his lips.

"I don't want to move back..." Steve began but trailed off as realisation hit him. He pursed his lips together and closed his eyes. "You don't want me to go back with you." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Hey," Jerry called from the other end of admit as he held the phone to his chest. "Weaver called," he said as he placed the receiver down on the cradle and the medical personnel turned to him and raised their eyebrows. "Said to tell you that Sam was here and she just handed in her resignation."

"Hey, we got a domestic turn MVA coming in!" Jerry called down the corridor towards Abby as she headed out of admit.

"What we got in here?" John Carter asked as he stepped into the trauma room and snapped on a pair of gloves.

"Sam!"

"There was vaginal trauma," he continued and looked away from the look of pain on Luka's face. "There was a lot of bleeding as well - too much to be from the vaginal tears... she had a miscarriage."

"You were having an affair!" John almost shouted as he stood up from his seat. He watched as Luka nodded. "How long?" He asked bluntly, his voice devoid of emotion.

Luka had cheated on Abby. Luka had cheated on Abby.

"About four or five... months."

Abby walked in slowly and then closed the door behind her. She saw Luka turn his eyes to her slowly and then watched as he winced painfully at the sight of her.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?"

He didn't deny it, he simply looked away and nodded.

"I knew - I always knew. I just didn't want to see it. Don't be sorry for being happy." Luka turned to her with a pained expression on his features and he dragged his hand down his face. She took a deep breath and continued. "It's funny... cause I'm not mad. I'm just... upset that you didn't tell me sooner."

"I feel like I'm falling apart..."

Falling into Susan's chest, Abby wept.

Inside his apartment, in the bedroom behind him, he could hear his phone ringing but he ignored it. Just like he'd ignored it for the past two weeks. He'd be surprised if he still had a job. But he didn't care.

He had did this to Sam.

If he hadn't insisted that they carry out there sordid affair, she would never have been in her current situation. He had promised her he would never hurt her and yet he had, more than he had ever thought possible.

"She needs you Luka…"

"I said no."

He pushed past her and Elizabeth stumbled slightly and was too surprised to be able to do anything other than stare at his back as he stalked down the halls of the ICU, walking straight past Sam's room without even glancing in at her.

"And you say you love her," she shouted down the corridor, eventually finding her tongue and she smiled smugly when she saw him stop abruptly.

"So... how are you actually doing?"

Luka sighed and scrubbed his face with his hand and then looked at John tiredly.

How was he doing? Even he didn't know.

"Oh, I don't know. Sometimes I think it would be easier if she had just left and went upstate with Jocelyn. I... she won't let me touch her," he complained tiredly and John nodded.

"I feel so... I don't know. Unworthy. It's like... I..." Sam looked at the two women beside her who were sitting with their legs crossed, watching her as she struggled with her words. "I made him lose another family," she said eventually.

"Sam... don't do this to yourself. It wasn't your fault." He laughed quietly after that and Sam frowned at him. "Here was me thinking that you wouldn't let me touch you because you blamed me, but it was really because you blamed yourself."

Sam nodded and swiped at her suddenly runny nose.

"When I saw you... I was so sure that I was going to lose you... I..." Tears jumped to his eyes. God, he had never cried so much in his entire life - not even when his goldfish died. "I couldn't go through that again, Sam..."

He didn't bother wiping away the tear that trickled past his eyelid and slid down the side of his face and was making it's way to his ear when he felt Sam's fingers catch it. Her touch surprised him.

"I'm here... I'm here, Luka," she murmured, her voice thick with fatigue and unshed tears. "I'm here," she repeated as she fanned her fingers out across his lips and chin.

Luka had his head on Sam's chest, his arm strewn across her stomach, his leg entangled with Sam's good one. Sam had one hand in Luka's hair (the one that belonged to the arm that he was half lying on) and the other was laying at her side and, on closer inspection, she saw that their fingers were entangled together at Sam's hip.

Jocelyn smiled and moved towards the bottom of the bed where the sheets were a crumpled mess. Straightening them out, she pulled them back across the two slumbering lovers' and made her way back to the door.

Once she was back outside, she closed the door as quietly as possible and then smiled.

Maybe things were going to be okay.