A/N So, here is my newest story, just because I couldn't stomach the ending of Season 4 and the ensuing reactions between Eric and Sookie in the current season. In any case, it's pretty AU. Story begins the day after Sookie silvers Tara in Episode 2 of Season 5. All that said, I hope you guys enjoy it and remember to leave me a review!

Disclaimer : I do not own the characters of this piece. The plots of True Blood, the characters and all other associated entities are either the property of Alan Ball or Charlaine Harris. Only the plot of this story is mine, insofar as I don't indicate that a particular section is taken from an episode of True Blood or from one of the books. This disclaimer applies to this chapter and all further chapters if any, in this body of work.

SPOV

My morning started off with a very large dose of personal anguish.

Silvering Tara was something I never sought to do, something I was pushed into given the circumstances surrounding her new state of being. Every time Lafayette looked at me, that anguish was reaffirmed over and over in my head.

Despite that, I was resolved to make the most of the day, as well as to try and take my mind off all my problems. As far as those two goals, I just decided on coffee and a well-worn back issue of Good Housekeeping. Thinking about it, it actually seemed a good strategy, one which surprisingly worked for most of my morning. The articles in the magazine helped to distract me a great deal, at least until I heard a knock on the door.

Rising from my armchair and opening it, I was startled to find a man in a suit, holding what looked to be a plain white envelope.

"Can I help you?" I asked him.

"Are you Sookie Stackhouse?"

"Yes I am. Is there something you needed?"

He shook his head at my question, thrusting the envelope into my hand instead. All he said was, "I will be back at five in the afternoon to collect your reply, miss."

After that, he just gave me a curt nod, not bothering to say goodbye before he left. I was just about to comment on his rudeness, until I found out about the sender of the letter.

To my huge surprise, the sudden delivery was actually from Eric. Quite like him, it was written on heavy card stock, my name elegantly inscribed on the outside of the envelope that contained it.

Despite my own valiant efforts not to care too much about the situation, I simply couldn't do it. Merely seeing the letter had given me a little thrill, much to my own consternation. Even so, I was happy to admit my love for Eric, even if we weren't currently together. I loved him simply because I knew the man beneath the vampire, the gentle fire behind the cold ice of his exterior. That same knowledge of him was why the letter possessed so much significance.

Also, even though it's a little embarrassing to confess, it was significant just because of who it came from. Yes, I'd let my Nordic vampire go, but that didn't mean I couldn't be ridiculously psyched that he sent me something.

Sitting back down on my living room armchair with my cup of coffee nearby, I opened the letter and began to read. For those few stolen moments in the light of the Louisiana morning, it was just Eric and me again.

My beloved Sookie,

I must admit that I am at a loss for words in this letter. You might very well be smirking at that fact, saying to yourself that I would never be one caught speechless. To a great extent, that fact is of course true, and I know I've never given you cause to think otherwise. Even now I find myself unable to frame adequate words, knowing that the entire English language will never truly portray my entire depth of feeling towards you.

Despite that linguistic handicap, I will still give this letter my most valiant effort. I feel you deserve such an effort, and that it will help you understand why I now feel as I do. Also, this letter might very well be the most important exchange between us, in view of the things that are soon to come to pass.

With that, I pray to you for one thing, and I hope you will grant it to me. Please don't be too curious about the future, for now.

Just read the rest of this letter, and I trust that you will come to the right course of action by its end. I have always had faith in you, and it is that same faith with which I continue to write this paltry attempt at explaining a great many things.

Firstly, I must let you know that I am in much pain over your decision to let Bill and I go. Honestly, I could care less about his pain, but I feel I must be truthful with my own. Then, as now, I still wish that you would have picked me to be by your side. Your act of not picking Bill is of course some comfort, though I find that it matters very little once the dust has settled.

The selfish part of me thinks that your decision to let me go is wrong, perhaps even juvenile. That sentiment is from my hurt self, the very worst version of me. I know that you're likely to hate or to question what I just said, but perhaps by your benevolence, I will be safe from your wrath. I just wish to admit my hurts freely, and with the same openness I have always sought to have.

I admit here and now that your decision wounded me deeply, causing me to react in ways I did not expect of myself. For one, and it may not matter given the future, I actually said 'Fuck Sookie' at one point in the very recent past. I heard you scream though I knew not why, and so did Bill. At that point he wanted to come to your aid, and I told him not to.

For that selfishness, I am sorry. I will say again that I was hurt, but I refrain from defending myself further. I can only say that I deeply resented your choice, and I think I extended that same resentment to you as the chooser.

With that in mind, the recent past is actually of little consequence now, for reasons you shall discover later in this letter.

Even if that's so, I feel it necessary to tell you that I do respect your decision. It seems, against my own wishes, that the greater part of me desires only your happiness. This is an uncharacteristic desire I never had before we met. To that end, I must tell you that I wish you no ills, and that I hope your decision has caused you to gain some peace of mind.

I am strong, after all, and I can deal with my own pain. I only beg you to know that all I've ever desired is to see you happy and at peace.

For now though, I must turn to the more pressing reasons why I wrote this in the first place. As I pen these words, I am in my office at Fangtasia, thinking of what is to happen next. If this letter has even landed in your dainty little hands, then my day man has done well and escaped scrutiny as I commanded.

Why scrutiny, you ask? Well, allow me to explain. Now that I am in Shreveport, you cannot possibly berate me for what I am to say. Additionally, you are reading this in the daytime, and you do not know where I rest anyway.

I thank the gods for such small favors.

To clarify your sure confusion, Bill and I are currently on a mission to save you and ourselves. We are on that mission because we killed Nan Flanagan, a member of the Vampire Authority. Yes, I know you're angry, but as I requested, let me explain.

We killed her in view of what happened at the Festival of Tolerance, during which you shot me with your light. As you know, I was not in my right mind then, at least until you shot me with said light.

The positive result of that shot is known to you. The negative effect is that Nan saw, an outcome which forced us to eliminate her for your safety's sake. In doing so, we provoked the ire of the Authority, who captured us and have judged us worthy of the true death. At the very last moment, Bill bargained for our lives using Russell Edgington. With his usual drawl, he told them that the deranged king of Mississippi was on the loose, and that we would be the ones to capture him.

Slightly idiotic, if you ask me, though I suppose it did buy us some time.

At that point, let me tell you, the Chancellors of the Authority were shocked at Bill's pronouncement. I do not know what Compton told you on that same front, but I'm sure Herveaux has already endeavored to tell you of Russell's escape.

In view of that piece of news, I would like to apologize to you.

Not killing Russell was my decision, a decision I've now come to regret with each passing second. I regret not thinking of your safety, and I also regret my lack of resolve regarding his elimination. Hence, I will just apologize to you, even if you feel I don't deserve it in the least. Hell, if things go down as I expect they will, my worthiness will be a moot point anyway.

You see, now that Russell is on the loose, he is most certainly gunning for my death as well as Bill's. It certainly didn't help that Compton promised the Authority we would either capture Russell, or die trying. His words were a bit too morbid, don't you think?

As if that wasn't enough, he also told them that we accepted and expected our deaths either way. Fucking idiot.

At this point, I do admit we didn't quite think the consequences through, with regards to killing Nan. Now the Authority expects us to make good on Bill's promise, though I am more than a little sure we will die in trying to do so, exactly as Compton said. Still, I know we must just focus on dealing with the repercussions. There is no longer any room left to dwell on what could have been, so we must hope for the best and try to act intelligently.

Having said all the above, I hope you can listen to me with regard to the next things I'm going to say. They are perhaps the most important parts of this letter, the ones that carry the most weight and the most possibility.

First, know this, Sookie Stackhouse. Unlike Compton, I do not accept my own demise.

Bill is a soldier, but he is nothing more than a conscript. I am a warrior, and I will not sit still and be slaughtered. Of course, it is of some comfort that Bill is with me in the quest to kill Russell, but having him is so minor in the greater scheme of things. It can't be denied that he is young, so I'm not quite sure what he can really contribute at this point.

Therefore, I would like to make an assurance for myself only. I wish to assure you that I will not go down easily.

Even now, as I write this to you, Pam is contacting numerous allies. I am owed many favors, and I have friends willing to die at my side. Still, the odds are stacked against all of us. As many often say, authority always tends to win. For all our sakes, I just hope that tendency will change. The alternative is clearly too awful and too depressing to contemplate anyway. In simple terms, I must again admit that I no longer know what's to happen, nor am I sure if we will win this particular battle.

Yes, I have come to terms with the possibility that I may die, but I've accepted only that - a possibility. There is of course a difference between Bill and I, in that respect. Compton has accepted death itself, and I accept only the potential of the same.

It is this crucial difference which dictates my will to fight, and make no mistake, my Sookie - I will fight. Running has never been my way, as you so aptly told me. I may die in the fight, but I will die on my feet like the Viking I am.

Still, if in the end fate decides that true death is my lot, I want you to remember some vital things. If ever you are to take away anything from the relationship we share, please take with you these statements of mine.

First, please don't forget that I admire your strength and courage. Never in my thousand years have I met someone so strong and so brave. You have faced many enemies in your short life and you have faced them squarely, showing insight and intelligence as you did so. You have sacrificed yourself for those you love, and you have fought for them with great tenacity.

For those acts of yours, I respect you. For your determination to save those you love, I am in awe of you. Finally, for choosing to count me among those worth saving, I love you with all my heart.

Secondly, please remember as well that I am grateful to you for the loving kindness you have shown me. During my amnesia, you were my last sacred anchor to reality, the only thing that kept me safe in my self-ignorance.

For that same kindness, I thank you, my Sookie.

I thank you for taking me off the road and into your home.

I thank you for washing my feet and comforting my fears.

Most of all, I thank you deeply for giving me the chance to love you. Having been given that chance, I regret nothing and instead I am grateful for everything.

Lastly, thank you for being the sun in my endlessly empty nights. You have become a beacon against the darkness of my life, a new source of hope in my constant existence. You have been without a doubt my redemption and my grace, Sookie Stackhouse.

Do not forget that.

Above all things, know that despite the hurt I feel, I am and always will be committed to keeping you safe. Like Bill promised the Authority, I promise you one thing as well.

I will love and protect you forever, or I will die trying. Whatever happens from here on out, please promise me you'll remember that. If you do, I will welcome the possibility of death, and I will do so free from fears and from regrets.

At this point in my letter, I have only one last thing to ask.

My dear, strong Sookie - will you fight with me?

Always yours,

Eric

Quite against my own will, I found my own hot tears staining the paper. Even my coffee went forgotten, lost in a haze of worry for the warrior vampire I knew I loved. Rising from my chair, I found myself some materials and carefully composed my reply to his beautiful letter.

By five in the afternoon, I once again opened the door to the man in the suit, hoping to God he would bring my message safely into Eric Northman's hands.

A/N There you go, guys - how'd you like it? That said, I'll gauge the interest for this story. If I find that there's enough interest, then I will continue it. Otherwise, consider it a one-shot with an open ending. Remember to tell me what you guys want and I look forward to your review. To the readers of FTL, please be informed that Chapter 8 will be up this Sunday!