Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII, Squaresoft of Square-Enix or whatever it's calling itself these days.
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Seifer and Rinoa walked side by side down the side street towards the roundabout where all the bus stops were. They didn't speak to each other and didn't have to to know what was on each other's minds. He was leaving and she wasn't going with him.
The past summer had been the best summer of their young lives. While on leave from Balamb Garden, Seifer had come to stay in Deling City. He had met Rinoa at a party there and they had been inseparable ever since. They had partied the summer away, neither of them thinking about this day that would inevitably come, the day Seifer would have to go back to the Garden.
Now that the day had finally come, Rinoa was afraid to let him go. She had grown attached to him over the last few months and was afraid of what life would be like without him. She needed him and had told him so. She had asked him to stay with her in Deling City but of course they both knew it was impossible. He was contracted to the Garden but more importantly, it was his home, the only real home he'd ever known. She knew that and while a part of her wanted to beg him to stay, she knew it would be in vain.
I didn't notice
But I didn't care
I tried being honest
But that left me nowhere
The young couple reached the proper bus stop, the one that would take him out of her life until next summer, possibly forever. A lot could change in nine months. He might find another girl to spend his time with, one who was close by in Balamb or even lived in the Garden. She couldn't bare the thought of it and pushed it away quickly.
"Well," Seifer commented, "this is it. The bus will be here soon."
Rinoa nodded, unwilling to trust her own voice. He noticed her despair and gently pulled her chin up so she was looking at him. Her chocolate brown eyes were red and watery.
"Come on," Seifer pleaded, "don't cry. I'll be back. It's not like I'm going off to war or something."
"But you could," Rinoa said, "that's what the Garden does you know, trains SeeDs to fight."
"I'm well aware of the purpose of Garden," Seifer replied, "my point is, there is no reason to get upset. We'll see each other again."
"Please don't go," Rinoa begged, her voice barely above a whisper, "Stay here with me."
"You know I can't do that," Seifer repeated the same words he had told her a thousand times before, "the Garden is my home." He paused, then added something that he hadn't said before. "Why don't you come back to the Garden with me?"
Rinoa stared up at him, not sure if he was joking. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah," Seifer insisted, "you're pretty good with your Blaster Edge. They'd accept you in a heartbeat."
"I can't," Rinoa told him reluctantly, "The Forest Owls…"
"I know," Seifer nodded, slightly somber, "We've each got our places and they aren't together. Maybe someday, but right now we have to do our own thing."
The soft rumbling of the bus approaching cut into their conversation. It puttered to a stop in front of where they stood and with a squealing sound, the door opened. The bus driver, a tall, thin man, smiled. "All aboard to the train station."
Seifer looked down at Rinoa. "I guess I'll see you around." He hesitated, then bent down and kissed her quickly. She closed her eyes, savoring the sweet feel of his lips on hers. When she opened them again, he had already disappeared on the bus. The driver tipped his hat at her, closed the door and the bus began to rumble away from the curb. Through the bus windows, she spotted him sitting towards the back. She waved frantically, trying to get his attention, but he didn't look up. Her arm dropped back down to her side and the bus disappeared around a corner in a plume of smoke.
I watched the station
Saw the bus pulling through
And I don't mind saying
A part of me left with you
Rinoa stood at the bus stop, watching the place where the bus disappeared for a few more minutes. When she finally snapped out of her daze, she was surprised to find her cheeks wet with tears. She had known him for such a short time and yet he had burrowed deep into her heart. Maybe she could have gone with him to Balamb Garden. She could have left all she knew behind and gone off to find her own way with Seifer. She could have abandoned the Forest Owls when they needed her to pursue her own selfish desires.
Rinoa sighed. While she was a spoiled little princess, she wasn't selfish. She couldn't abandon her friends who needed her. She would just have to wait and see what happened with her and Seifer. Maybe this was just a test to see what she could withstand. Maybe Hyne was just testing her willpower and her loyalty.
So one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
'Cause that's where I'm home
Rinoa turned from the bus stop and made her way back down the side street they had come up to the mansion. As she walked, she passed a couple kissing on the grass that lined the street. It was a favorite place for young couples to have a picnic or just sit and watch the people. While Seifer wasn't exactly what you'd call the romantic type, they had spent many a day sitting on the grass and having lunch, talking or occasionally kissing.
As Rinoa looked at the happy couple, she suddenly had the feeling that it was her fault that Seifer had left. She had always been told that she was too clingy. Did she drive him away? Had he been counting the seconds until he could return to the Garden and be rid of her? Had the entire summer been meaningless to him? She was always pushing him to do things that he didn't want to do, like take her dancing or to see what he called a "chick flick." She was so used to getting her way that she didn't even realize until that moment that she had never once asked him what he wanted to do.
Did I make you nervous?
Did I ask for too much?
Was I not deserving
One second of your touch?
Feeling even worse than she had before, Rinoa walked despondently down the road and up the walkway to the door of the mansion she shared with her father, General Caraway. As she entered the large foyer, she stopped and had a sudden thought. Maybe if her mother were still alive she wouldn't have driven Seifer off. If her mother were still here, she wouldn't need to feel loved so desperately. Her mother had always loved her. Her father, on the other hand, had pushed her away after her mother's death. She barely ever saw him and when she did, they said as few words as possible to one another. Maybe if there had been more love in her life when she was younger, she wouldn't be so clingy now.
Of course, everything always boiled down to being her father's fault. She loved him because he was her father and yearned to feel his love returned, but as a person she despised him. It was his fault that she had driven Seifer away. How was she supposed to know how to act with a boy if no one was around to help her?
And one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
'Cause that's where I'm home
Feeling a little better for being able to take the blame off herself, she headed up the stairs to her room. Once inside, she threw herself down on the light blue comforter and closed the canopy drapes, also light blue, around her. When she was secure in her little haven, she pulled a light pink, furry book out from under her pillow. She opened it and with a matching feather pen, began to record the days events into the diary.
As she wrote, she wondered what Seifer would have done if she had agreed to come with him to the Garden. Had it been an empty gesture that he knew she would refuse or had he really wanted her to enroll in the Garden, be by his side forever? He wasn't one to make empty gestures and even if it hurt her feelings, he would tell her the truth. She didn't think he would have offered if he really didn't want her to come with him.
What would you do if I could have you?
What if I could?
I'd let you feel everything that I'm thinking
Wouldn't that be nice?
Wouldn't that be nice?
As Rinoa finished up the entry, a small smile crept across her face. Maybe one of these days she'd join the Garden and be able to stay with Seifer forever. Maybe they'd be reunited before she had the chance. Whatever Hyne's divine plan was, Rinoa would wait and see where it led her.
And one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
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If you've read my other song fics, you must know by now that I absolutely love Michelle Branch's music. Anyway, here's another songfic to read. Hope you like it!
Oh yeah, the song is "One Of These Days" by Michelle Branch.