I crouch in the bracken, waiting, until I see a familiar shape walk by.

"Leafpaw!" I call.

"Cody?" she mews. "What are you doing out here?"

I look down. I know I must do this, but it is so hard. "There's something I need to tell you."

She stares at me, her amber gaze burning into me. "What?"

There is no other way to say it. "I'm leaving. I'm going home." I flinch away from the shock and sadness in her eyes. It's like being burned, to hurt her. I force myself to continue.

"This is no life for me. I am happy with my housefolk, and they'll be missing me. I never meant to stay this long, but Birchkit needed me and I began to-"

"You began to enjoy the freedom," she interrupts.

"I guess I did," I mew. "But today-" I search for an excuse. "I saw how fragile that freedom is. You have to fight for everything—for food, even somewhere to shelter." I know that what I am about to say may destroy her respect for me, but I need to convince her that I really want to leave. "I like to know where I will be sleeping every night and that there will always be food when my belly grows empty. And I like my housefolk. Not all Twolegs are as bad as the ones destroying your home."

I can feel my heart breaking as I utter these words. They are true, but I would give it all up in a heartbeat for her. But I know that can never be.

"Would you like me to show you the way through the forest?" she mews. " Firestar promised you an escort."

It would be so easy to give in, to say yes, to spend a few more moments with her. But I can't. I can't.

I shake my head. "The woods seem quiet enough. There wont be any monsters about at night. Anyway, you need to rest for your journey." I pause. What else can I say? "Thank Firestar for me."

She presses her nose against my cheek, and I close my eyes, breathing her scent in for the last time. "I've said goodbye to Birchkit. Ferncloud is eating properly again, and he'll be fine with her." As if it matters anymore! I only helped Birchkit for her.

"Thank you for taking care of me when we were in the Twoleg nest. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." More than you will ever know. "And I'll keep an eye out for Graystripe. If I see him, I'll tell him where you've gone." I give her a lick. "Bye, Leafpaw. Good luck."

I turn away, my heart aching, not wanting her to see how desperately I am trying to hold myself together.

Her voice echoes behind me. "Goodbye, Cody. You're a good friend."

I push myself blindly onward, stumbling into the shadows. You're a good friend. It's something.

But it's not enough.