The Buy More of the Bloodcurdling IV
Yes, it's time for another trio of tales that are so scary they will give Freddy Kreuger nightmares, make Jason hide his face in fear, turn Dracula pale, and cause Frankenstein to wish he'd just stayed dead. *
*Actual fear not guaranteed, and all sales are final. If you experience any feelings of fear lasting for longer than four hours, then I did way better than expected. Any screams, shrieks or night terrors may not be rebroadcast without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball. I do not own Chuck.
The Secret of Nymph
Lester Patel stared into the amber glow of his partially full beer mug. It was a dead night at Bennigan's. Other than the usual barflies, there was nobody of interest around. And of course, by of interest, Lester meant somebody female.
He took another swig of his drink, and looked up to see what his friend was doing. Lester was happy to let Jeff do his own thing this evening; after all they'd spend the full day together. Assistant Manager Tang's day off meant no supervision, so they had spent the day tightening up Jeffster's set list. Unfortunately, they hadn't really been seeing eye to eye on song selection. Jeff's semi-annual dark period was in full swing, and he had kept trying to add more metal to the list. He had even gone as far as to read lyrics out loud from some obscure Swedish Death Metal band. Whatever those lyrics were about, they sure seemed creepy. He was pretty sure Jeff broke into Latin or some other dead language at one point.
When Lester had last checked, Jeff had been embroiled in a fever-pitched battle of darts. Of course, Jeff's version of a fever-pitched battle involved round after round of barely hitting the board at all, surrounded by not infrequent naps on the bar table. Seeing that was where the match currently stood, Lester shrugged and returned his attention to the TV over the bar.
"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"
"As a matter of fact, it's va…hoomarumbla."
Lester's sudden burst of eloquence came as the result of the woman leaning over him. She was wearing a sweatshirt, emblazoned with a picture of a moose and the word Toronto, that was tight enough to speed up his heartbeat. Her long brunette hair cascaded onto the shoulders, surrounding an olive-complexioned face. Almond eyes studied him quizzically.
Lester was staring at her in his usually gentlemanly way, but the woman didn't seem disturbed by this. In fact, she flashed him a smile that made him think that his newfound friend wasn't exactly a nice girl. "I'll take that as a no," she said, and proceeded to slide gracefully on the stool next to Lester's. "My name is Nadia. What's yours?"
"Uh…"
Nadia waited patiently. Lester, drawing a complete blank, looked around the bar in panic, looking for inspiration. "It's, um, Bud."
"Well, Bud, I've been watch you from back at the other end of the bar, and I have to tell you something."
"Wazzat?" Lester managed to utter.
"You look bored. Well," Nadia put a hand on his arm, "the funny thing is I'm bored too. So I thought we could be bored together."
Lester could hardly believe his luck. He decided he needed to show off his suave, sophisticated nature. He pointed to the bartender. "Garcon, another drink for the lady!"
Nadia waved off the scowling bartender. "Actually," she said, putting a hand on Lester's. "Maybe we could find someplace a little more private."
Lester gulped, but summoned up a hidden reserve of courage. He looked over at the sleeping Jeff, then turned back to his dream woman. "I know just the place."
"…I'm just saying that dropped the whole Venom plotline and that whole ridiculous Tobey Maguire dance scene, then maybe they would have had a half-way decent…"
"For the love of God, Bartowski!" Casey snapped, grabbing him by the shirt and almost throwing him against the side of the Buy More. "You wouldn't shut up for that entire stakeout, the least you could do is quit wasting your Goddamn breath now!"
"Guys!" Sarah interceded. "Could you leave it alone? I know that the last few hours were dull, but we should look at the positive. No international incidents happened on our watch. So a good night, right?"
Casey grunted. Chuck had only picked up a little bit of Casey-ese in the few months that he'd known him, but he was sure the grunt translated to, 'It would have been a good night if the Nerd toppled off a cliff.'
As the three spies headed over toward Castle to debrief with Beckman, Chuck paused by the Buy More entrance. "Guys, I'll catch up in a sec. Lester and Jeff were screwing around all day, and I should probably make sure they didn't destroy anything."
Chuck didn't feel a whole lot of responsibility towards the Buy More, but he knew that he should at least make sure his co-workers' antics were kept in check. The police, FBI, DEA, he figured any of them probably didn't need to know what was going on underneath the local electronics store.
The store was relatively quiet, having just closed a few minutes ago. Seeing a light in the storage area in back, Chuck poked his head inside. "Hey Lester, are you still…Oh my God."
"I don't think I ever want to use my eyes again. That was the worst thing I've ever seen."
Chuck shuddered at the memory of what he had seen, while Casey and Sarah flipped through the surveillance camera footage in Castle. The image of Lester's body, unusually pale and crumpled down on the floor of the Buy More storage area, would probably play a starring role in all of Chuck's nightmares for the foreseeable future.
"Why Lester?" he asked. "Could this have been somebody coming after us?"
"I guess it's possible," Sarah replied. "Wait," she paused the video. "I think I see something." She squinted at the black-and-white image. "Is that a woman?"
"An attractive one, it looks like," Chuck blushed slightly when Sarah gave him a look. "What's she doing with Lester?"
"Quite a bit, apparently," Sarah arched an eyebrow, as she continued to watch the video.
"I take it back. This is the worst thing I've ever seen."
Chuck and Sarah turned away from the video as the two figures embrace grew friendlier and friendlier. Casey continued to watch with rapt attention.
"There!" Sarah said, after braving another look. Lester collapsed to the floor, and the female figure disappeared from the camera's range of vision.
Casey switched over to the video from the Buy More showroom, fast forwarding to the time when Lester fell.
"There's nobody in there," Chuck exclaimed. "Where'd she go?"
Finally, after a few minutes, they saw a female figure appear at one corner. "There she is…" Sarah pointed. "No wait, that's a different woman. She's blonde."
"Wig?" Chuck suggested.
"She looks taller too," Casey pointed out.
Chuck nodded, then peered more closely at the second woman. "Is that a uniform from the sandwich place across the way?"
"Pretty skimpy," Sarah commented.
"Hardly the paragon of class, like what the Weinerlicious makes you wear," Casey replied drily, earning a dirty look from his fellow spy. "Apparently the delivery is for Big Mike."
"You don't think…"
"I don't know." Despite their best efforts, they'd never managed to place any cameras in the Manager's Office. "We should probably check."
"The Buy More's going to be short one manager tomorrow."
Casey had managed to break down the door to the office, and the three spies were now staring at the dead body of Big Mike.
"I've never seen him so…thin," Chuck commented, revulsed and fascinated at the same time. "What could have done that? Some poison?"
"Nothing I've ever seen," Sarah replied.
"I have."
Sarah and Chuck looked over at Casey. "I'll explain after we move the bodies. Luckily, Big Mike is a lot lighter than he's ever been before." He motioned to Chuck. "You two get Lester, and we'll dump them in the Wienerlicious before anyone else finds them."
"But who are these assassins? Why go after Lester and Big Mike?"
Moving the bodies had been easier than expected. Whatever had caused Big Mike to become Barely Medium-Sized Mike had made Lester's body lighter as well, and Chuck and Sarah had managed to get him into the Wienerlicious freezer with little effort. Now they were back in Castle, waiting for Casey to present his explanation.
Chuck shrugged. "They must be working for somebody. Some other country? Fulcrum?"
"Succubi."
"Succubi? Is that another group?" Chuck responded to Casey's interjection. "Kind of a weird name for a shadowy organization."
"They're not an organization, Moron," Casey growled. We walked over to his locker, grabbed something, and proceeded to drop it onto the conference room table with a loud thud.
Chuck stared at the dusty tome as he and Sarah crowded over it. "Did you steal that from the Sunnydale High library, Casey?"
The big man ignored him, and flipped through several pages, sending a thick layer of dust floating through the air. Finally, he found the page he wanted, and gave it a satisfied slap.
Chuck glanced at the page. "Wait, you mean an actual succubus, as in female demon? You sure you weren't sucking on the Crown Vic's exhaust fumes lately?"
"You think the limited imagination in that tiny brain of yours, or the waffle iron stuck in there with it, knows everything, Bartowski?" Casey growled in Chuck's face. "Trust me on this, that was a succubus. Knew it from the moment I saw what had happened to Patel."
"You have to admit this is a pretty far-out theory, Casey," Sarah pointed out. "I just saw two women. Normal, human-looking women."
"They can look normal if they want. Can look however they want. Usually, they take the form of whatever deepest desire their prey has. And then, they suck out his life force."
"Wait, that's why there's so much…less Big Mike?"
"Man always had a lot of joie de voivre. That she-beast that got time will be fine for a while. The one that got Lester, not so much."
"So, let's assume for a minute that they are what you say they are," Sarah said. "How do you know this?"
"Run across one a couple of times. Once in Zambia in 92, and one in Las Vegas in 2002."
"Vegas?"
Casey nodded. "Miss America Pageant. Trust me, you never want to see Miss Nebraska coming at you with razor-sharp teeth and tentacles the size of tree trunks."
"Tentacles?"
"Their true form – a lot less pretty. Miss Rhode Island had greenish pus coming out of her eyes, and Miss Rhode Island was covered in warts and had a hump the size of a Volkswagen."
"So…they didn't win?"
Casey shook his head. "Nobody won that day. Anyway, they usually come in groups of three, so there's probably another one around here."
"Great. So, and I'm still not admitting I believe you Casey, these succubuses…"
"Succubi."
"Succubi, right. They can only turn into other females, right?"
"Why, Bartowski?" Casey smirked. "You have some secret fantasies you want to share."
"No, just wanted to know what to keep an eye out for."
"There's one important thing you haven't told us, Casey," Sarah chimed in. "How do we kill them?"
"Not easily, but it's possible. And you need special weapons. Lucky for you two, I've got them."
"Great!" Chuck stood up, and moved over towards Castle's special weapon cabinet. "So crack open that cabinet, and hook us up."
"They're not here, Bartowski. Only felt I could keep 'em safe at home." The big man stood up. "So we'd better hurry and get them."
The three spies climbed up the stairs, and headed out to Casey's Crown Vic. Chuck, still dwelling on Casey's odd story, didn't notice his sister's boyfriend heading in the other direction.
Devon Woodcomb wandered through the aisles of the oddly quiet Buy More. Strangely, while the doors had been open, there was no sign of anyone working there. Such poor work ethic was not awesome.
He had at least assumed he'd find Chuck there. That was why he'd come, after all. He needed Chuck's help to ask Ellie a very important question.
Devon fumbled with the small box in his pocket. He needed a place to hide the ring that would be safe from Ellie's prying eyes, and the Buy More seemed like as good a place as any.
Devon's search for any sign of life led him all the way around the showroom and into the employee locker room at the back of the store. Finding it as empty as the rest of the store, he decided to remember which of the many lockers belonged to Chuck. Unable to figure that out, he tried opening a few of the lockers, to no success.
"Hi there, Handsome."
Devon almost dropped the ring box when he whirled around to see Ellie smiling sweetly at him. Actually, it wasn't exactly a sweet smile, it was more than a leer. "Babe? What are you doing here?"
"Why, looking for you, of course!"
"Umm, well, here I am," the Doctor stammered, shoving the ring box back into his pocket.
"Yes, you are. And I think you have something for me." She stepped forward purposefully towards Devon. "Something in your pants."
"Umm…" How could she have known? He didn't think he'd dropped any hints. In fact, he'd been downright smooth.
At that point, Devon realized two things. First, Ellie may not have been referring to what was in his pants pocket.
Second, she was wearing a lot of leather.
Stepping into the Buy More, Morgan made a beeline for the Nerd Herd desk. It was the last place he remembered having his cell phone, so it must have fallen to the floor somewhere. He knelt down on the ground and searched for his missing phone, finding nothing more than some disturbingly large dust bunnies.
He leapt back to his feet, only to jump backwards in surprise at finding someone at the counter waiting for him.
"Uh, hi, Ellie." He swore he hadn't heard her come in.
"You're still open, aren't you?" Chuck's sister asked.
"Of course. For you, we're open 24/7."
Ellie smiled, and Morgan felt his palms start to sweat. "Oh, you didn't happen to find my cell phone, did you?"
Ellie quietly shook her head, and leaned forward over the counter. Morgan blinked in surprise.
"Umm, is that your old cheerleader outfit?"
"Echo Park High, class of 95. Would you believe it still fits?"
"It sure does," Morgan gulped. The uniform was in very good shape, considering its age and how often it had appeared in his dreams.
"Well, Morgan, how about you ring this up for me?" She handed him her merchandise.
Morgan's eyes bulged. "The Star Wars limited edition box set?"
"I've heard you talk about it so much, I figured I'd have to see it for myself. Say," Ellie said, and eyebrow raised. "Maybe you'd like to watch it with me. Maybe some place…private."
"Uh, ok," Morgan gulped again. "Why don't I…ring this up and meet you in the Buy More screening room?"
"That sounds great. But don't take your time," Ellie touched Morgan's face, then slinked off towards the screening room. Morgan had to grab the Nerd Herd counter to prevent himself from fainting.
It took some fast thinking on Devon's part to get away from Ellie. Not that he wasn't very excited to do exactly what his girlfriend suggested, especially in that leather outfit. Like any animal-loving citizen of the planet, he was against wearing leather, but he was willing to make an exception here. Fortunately, not a lot of leather had been used, as there was quite a bit of his girlfriend that the outfit left uncovered.
Still, the moment the clothes came off the ring box would be revealed, and that wouldn't do. Fortunately, the old 'I have a pack of condoms in the glove compartment of the pick-up' excuse gave him just the opportunity he needed. Now he just had to find a good hiding place. He took the box out of his pocket, and studied it briefly. Where could he put it?
As he wandered back into the Buy More showroom, he was surprised to see Morgan standing there by the Nerd Herd counter. Strangely, he looked pale, and in fact became even paler when the doctor emerged. "Um, Devon, what are you doing here?"
"Looking for Chuck," Devon responded. "You seen him?"
"Chuck, no… No Bartowskis at all here. Honest."
Devon nodded. It was probably a good thing that Morgan hadn't seen Ellie in her present choice of garb. He knew that the bearded man had always nursed a bit of a crush on his intended, and that sight would just make things awkward for him.
Unfortunately, Morgan noticed the box in Devon's hand. "Uh, what's that?"
Devon decided there was no point in softening the blow. "I'm going to propose to Ellie, Dude. But I need a place to hide it from Ellie, so I wanted to enlist Chuck's help."
"Propose to Ellie?" Morgan said, staring at the box. "You sure that's a good idea?"
"Of course." The poor boy was still jealous, of course.
"Are you sure, she'd…say yes?"
"Oh, trust me, she'll say yes."
"Well, you never know, maybe she likes somebody else," Morgan said uncertainly.
The poor bastard really does still have it bad, Devon thought to himself. Well, he'll have to get over it. "Sorry, Morgan. This is happening. Now, do you have any idea where Chuck might be?"
"Umm…maybe with Sarah at the Wienerlicious?"
"Of course! Awesome idea. Thanks Bro!" Devon hurried out towards the Buy More entrance. Morgan breathed a deep sigh of relief behind him.
"Hello?"
The door to the Wienerlicious was open, but there weren't any customers to be found. This didn't surprise Devon; he couldn't understand why anyone would want to eat what that establishment claimed to be food. But no one was at the counter either.
Devon was about to leave, when he noticed the door to the back. He called out again to make sure he wouldn't walk in on Chuck and Sarah during a private moment. Hearing nothing, he pushed the door open.
The room was dark, so he fumbled around for a light switch. Once on, he looked around, but saw nothing but rows and rows of condiments. He considered the possibility of hiding the ring box behind one of the bottles, but decided they were too out in the open. With his luck, the ring would wind up in someone's hot dog.
Looking around, he noticed a steel door in the back of the storeroom, probably leading to the freezer. Perhaps this could be a better place to hide the ring. He opened the door and looked inside.
Ellie Bartowski didn't like thinking this way. She wasn't one of those jealous girls who rifled through her boyfriend's wallet, looking for unexplained hotel receipts. But Devon had been acting very strangely lately. He'd seemed jumpy, even paranoid. And she had to know what was going on.
She'd planned to drive to the Buy More to see if she could find Chuck, figuring that he might know something that she didn't. Of course, he'd been acting oddly lately too, but that was a whole other thing to worry about. Still, he was were brother, and he'd certainly tell her if he knew something about Devon.
When Ellie pulled into the shopping center parking lot, she was surprised to see Devon's truck in the parking lot. This was strange. He didn't have any reason for being there, unless…
As Ellie parked her own car, she saw an unmistakable tall, well-built shadow heading towards the Wienerlicious. A few moments later, a female silhouette followed him. She felt her stomach drop, as her worst fears were realized. Was Devon having an affair? Could it be with Sarah?
The idea seemed strange, and really, outside of a landfill or the Stanford campus, a fast food hotdog joint seemed like the least likely place Devon would want to go for a late night hook-up. Still, she's seen what she'd seen. And how well did she really know Chuck's girlfriend, anyway? She quietly exited the car, and headed towards the restaurant.
Peering through a window, Ellie saw that the lights were on, but no one else appeared to be around. She was about to follow her boyfriend inside, when a hand grabbed her shoulder.
Ellie whirled around in surprise. At first she didn't recognize the shadow in the dark, but then she blinked and was able to make out the pigtails and short red skirt of a Wienerlicious employee. "Sarah?"
"Hey, you," the other girl responded. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm…looking for Devon. I think he went in there." Ellie pointed at the restaurant.
"Ah. Well I'm sure he just wanted a late night snack."
Ellie felt a bit better seeing how little Sarah knew her boyfriend. She walked over to the Wienerlicious entrance, and peered inside again.
Sarah walked up behind her, and looked over her shoulder. "See, nobody inside."
"Well, I guess you should be back in there," Ellie said, looking down at the other girl's uniform. "Were you on a smoke break?"
"Oh no, smoking isn't one of my vices," Sarah flashed a smile that reminded her of the crocodiles at the zoo. "Say, why don't you come in with me, we can talk."
Figuring she might as well get to know her brother's girlfriend better, Ellie followed Sarah inside.
Ellie watched Sarah dart back and forth around the dining area, cleaning up. She did this gracefully, though she did seem to linger a bit when bending over to clean the floor. No wonder most of the restaurant's clientele was male.
"I hate to admit this, but when you first started dating my brother, I didn't really get it."
"Oh," Sarah said, busily working on another spot on the floor.
"Well, as much as I love my brother, you seem a bit too ….hot for him."
"Why thank you," Sarah turned around and gave Ellie another smile, this one more shark than crocodile. "But really, it's mostly the uniform."
"Not just that. Although, to be honest, as demeaning as it must be to wear, I have to admit it does look really cute on you."
Sarah stood up, and gave Ellie a speculative look. "You know I'd bet it would look great on you too."
"Well, I don't know…Sarah, you don't need to…" A moment later, Sarah had removed the blouse and tossed it over to Ellie.
"Oh don't worry," Sarah said, putting a hand on Ellie's arm and giving her a very friendly look. "Nobody's here. Just try it on."
Against her better judgment, Ellie did exactly that.
Devon slowly backed away, trying to forget what he'd seen in the freezer. With unwanted flashbacks to his pathology rotation bouncing through his head, he shut the metal door, and quietly moved back to the entrance.
A much less unpleasant, but equally unsettling, sight greeted him when he returned to the dining area. Ellie was wearing a tight-fitting Wienerlicious uniform, while Sarah was wearing nothing more than her underwear.
"Umm, what's going on here?" asked the two surprised women. Struggling to keep his eyes only focused on his girlfriend, he added, "Babe, I like the costume idea. Though to be honest, I kind of prefer the leather."
"Leather?" Ellie asked. "Honey, you know I don't wear leather." She looked over at Sarah. "Honest."
"Hey, I think you'd look great in leather."
"Oh, no need to pretend, Babe. That get-up you had back at the Buy More was…Awesome."
"The Buy More? I wasn't at the Buy More."
"Oh come on Babe, there's no need to…" Devon almost bit through his tongue as a second Ellie walked in.
"I was right," Sarah commented. "You do look good in leather."
"Uh, what's going on?" Wienerlicious Ellie asked. "Who is that, and why does she look like me?"
"What do you mean?" Leather Ellie asked. "And who are you, and why are you pretending to be me?"
"Um, I'm not sure what to do here," Devon said, looking between the two identical women standing at the room staring at him.
"Just like a man to not know his own girlfriend," Sarah said, gently rubbing the arm of Wienerlicious Ellie, who looked even more confused.
At that moment, the awkwardness was interrupted by Morgan bursting in. "Devon, there's something I have to tell you about…Ellie…s?" His eyes grew wide at the scene in front of him. Wienerlicious Ellie wrapped her arms around herself in a protective way, while Leather Ellie raised an eyebrow.
The momentary distraction caused Devon to remember why he was there. "Ellie…uh, Ellie Number 1!" He pointed to Sarah. "Get away from her! She's a murderer!"
"What?"
"There are two dead bodies in there!" Devon pointed back towards the kitchen. "Lester and Big Mike! She must have killed them!"
"Oh, don't be silly," Sarah protested. Looking at Ellie, she added, "He's just trying to keep you away from me."
"Wait, Lester and Big Mike are dead?" Morgan exclaimed. "That can't be! I just saw them!"
"When?"
"A couple of hours ago, at the Buy More."
"And were they there now?"
"No, I only saw her," he pointed at Wienerlicious Ellie, "or…possibly her." He pointed his other hand towards her leather-clad doppelganger.
"Ah, there you are!"
Everyone turned around to see a third Ellie burst through the door.
"Are you sure these things will work?" Chuck asked as he, Sarah and Casey returned to Castle, ducking through the back entrance.
Casey opened his sack, and dropped the collection of cruel-looking weapons onto the conference room table. "Trust me, I know how to handle Hellspawn."
"I'm not questioning you," Chuck said, eyeing an oddly-shaped axe, "but some of these look like they were stolen from a Renaissance fair."
"And where exactly do you think most demons hang out? Geez, use some common sense, Bartowski!"
"Huh."
Both Chuck and Casey looked over to Sarah, who was standing by the Castle command center.
"It looks like somebody's in the Wienerlicious."
"Well that has to be suspicious," Chuck commented. "Nobody ever goes in there."
"Damn," Sarah muttered. "The monitors aren't working." She turned to Casey. "Can these succubi do that?"
"No telling what those demon harpies can't do. We'd better go up there." He grabbed a cruel-looking sword. Sarah followed with the strange axe. After a moment of consideration, Chuck was about to grab what he guessed was a halberd. Before he could get his hands on one, Casey grabbed him. "You think I'm trusting you with any of those?"
"But…demon harpies."
"Just stay behind me and you'll be ok," Sarah said. Chuck dejectedly followed them up the stairs through the hidden entrance to the kitchen, and then into the dining area. He almost crashed into Casey, who had stopped in his tracks.
"And I thought Vegas was messed up," Casey muttered. Chuck had to struggle to see over the big man, and immediately wished he hadn't.
Devon was cowering in a corner, his usually tan complexion as pale as milk, while Chuck's sister, wearing what appeared to be Xena the Warrior Princess's hand-me-downs, stood over him. Someone looking an awful lot like held the chin of a very confused-looking Morgan in her hand. She was also wearing her high school cheerleader uniform, or at least a version of her uniform that had shrunk a few times in the wash. The long-lost twin sister of one or both of the other Ellies, dressed in the Wienerlicious uniform, stood beside Sarah. A barely dressed Sarah.
"Does the CIA medical plan cover counseling?" he asked aloud.
"I was wondering that exact same thing," the Sarah standing beside him replied.
"Chuck?" one of the Ellies asked aloud.
"What's going on, Chuck?" one of the others asked.
"Murderers!" Devon exclaimed, pointing at the new arrivals.
"Well, we know at least two of your sisters are succubi, Bartowski," Casey said, looking from one to the other. "Which ones?"
"How am I supposed to tell?"
"She's your sister, can't you figure it out?" He sighed. "Succubi are usually dressed so they can easily seduce someone. In a way your sister wouldn't normally dress."
Chuck looked from the leather outfit to the cheerleader uniform to the Wienerlicious costume. "That doesn't help!"
"Chuck, it's me!" Wienerlicious Ellie said.
"No, don't listen to her. It's me!" cheerleader Ellie disagreed.
"Ok, that one has to be fake. There's no way my sister would try to seduce Morgan."
"Hey!"
"Sorry, buddy, can't sugar-coat it right now." He looked back at the other two versions of his sister. "I don't know…"
"Ask them a question!" Sarah hissed. "Something your sister would know."
Chuck looked over at Casey. "They can't read minds?"
"They absorb the knowledge of their victims, so in theory whoever killed Lester would know everything he did. So, not really much of an issue," he admitted.
"Ok. Ellie Number 1."
"This isn't the Dating Game, Bartowski."
"Whatever. Ellie, what was I for Halloween in the fifth grade?"
"I can't remember that!" one of the Ellies burst out.
"Aha!"
"That's a pretty obscure detail, " Sarah pointed out. "You should try another one, just to be safe."
"Alright." Chuck thought for a moment. "Oh. What did Stewart Lidcomb always call me in Elementary School?" He had no idea why that question had popped into his head. The stress of the current situation must have gotten to him.
"Ooh, I know!"
"Not you, Morgan."
"Spanky," Wienerlicious Ellie responded.
"Spanky?" a chorus of voices, demonic and otherwise, shouted simultaneously.
"Is that right?" Sarah asked.
"Yes," Chuck replied weakly.
"Ok, then," Sarah said, waving the axe, " I think we have work to do. Chuck, take the real Ellie, Devon and Morgan into the back room, while Casey and I take care of the rest." She looked back at her asset. "Chuck!" she barked. "Quit staring at me…her, and get moving!"
Chuck tore his eyes away from the underwear-clad Sarah and went over to Devon as Casey moved over to confront the fake Ellie that had been cornering him. He dragged his sister's boyfriend toward the kitchen.
"I'm not going in there! There are dead bodies in there."
"There are going to be dead bodies out here in a second. C'mon!" Ellie, and a moment later Morgan, had managed to break away in the confusion, and were a step behind him. He shooed them through the back door.
Chuck looked back briefly before closing the door. Cheerleader Ellie, dodging the axe, seem to blur briefly. A second later she returned to the exact same form. "Well, that's convenient," she cooed.
Casey, temporarily dazed, stood there staring at the succubus. "Geez," Chuck muttered, "does everybody have the hots for my sister?"
"Oh for the love of God!" Sarah griped. She pushed aside her opponent and moved over to stand between the NSA agent and the succubus. Just as she was about to bring down the axe, Chuck quickly turned away. Some things, no amount of therapy could cure.
"Chuck, what's going on?" Ellie asked, once the door was safely shut. "Why are there two other versions of me out there?"
"And who killed Lester and Big Mike?" Morgan added.
"Everything will be explained soon, I promise," Chuck said, though he had no idea how. "But, at least we're safe in here." He looked over to see at least temporary expressions of relief from Devon, Morgan and Ellie.
"Wait a minute!" his eyes returned to his sister. "I thought you were wearing the Wienerlicious outfit!"
"No, of course not, Chuck," Ellie replied, brushing aside a strand of hair from a leather shoulder strap.
"No you were, because I remember thinking how much I never want you to explain why."
"Oh well," Ellie said, as her image blurred briefly. A moment later, it was replaced by Sarah, wearing a very slinky black dress. "I'll bet I know what you want, Chuck."
"Oh crap," Chuck heard Morgan say. Or it might have been his own voice; he wasn't certain of anything at the moment.
The succubus inched towards Chuck, positioning herself in front of the exit so that he couldn't escape. Once she was only a few inches away, she briefly closed her eyes. "Hmm… maybe I was wrong." A moment later she shimmered again.
The image of Sarah was replaced by that of a squat, muscular woman . The succusbus' dark hair was shaved close to her scalp, and a nasty scar extended across most of the right side of her face. Sarah's dress had been replaced by military fatigues.
"Well, Chuck, I want you." The succubus' com-on came out a less-than-seductive hiss. "Don't you want me?"
"Yeah, not so much," Chuck replied, right before grabbing a two-liter bottle of ketchup and hitting the succubus over her head.
"Chuck, are you ok?" Sarah asked as she burst into the room, followed by Casey, and to Chuck's great relief, Ellie.
Chuck nodded.
"Wow, Bartowski, you've got some sick tastes," Casey said, looking over the unconscious succubus.
"I don't know what happened," Chuck said, "but that is not my fantasy."
"I know what happened," Sarah said. "That's Regina Lavonski. She was an Albanian terrorist back in the 70s. The succubus must have tried to read your mind, and read the Intersect instead."
"Intersect? What's the Intersect?" Ellie asked. "Could you guys please explain what's going on?"
"What are we going to do?" Chuck asked. "How do we explain all of this?"
"We don't," Casey replied, retrieving a small silver rod from his jacket.
"Casey, don't hurt them!"
"This won't hurt them. Just make them forget the last few hours."
Wait," Chuck took a closer look at the rod. "Is that one of those things form Men in Black?"
"Those stingy bastards share their tech?" Casey scoffed. "No, this is NSA Issue."
Chuck was about to ask further, but a moment later the rod filled the room with a bright flash.
"I never thought I would find fighting ex-KGB assassins to be so relaxing."
It was a few days later, and everything had returned to normal. The last of the succubi had been disposed of, and Chuck was looking forward to a quiet dinner.
Chuck and Sarah walked through the courtyard and Chuck opened the door to the bungalow.
Ellie, Devon and Morgan were all seated at the dining room table. "Hey, Chuck!" Ellie greeted her brother. "I thought tonight we could all have a cozy dinner together." She looked over to Chuck's companion. "Sarah, I hope you can join us as well. I've been hoping to get the chance to know you better."
"Um, actually Sarah and I were going to go see a movie," Chuck backed away. "Weren't we, Honey?"
"Absolutely." Sarah actually looked slightly red.
"Oh yeah, what were you going to see?"
"Oh, um, we hadn't decided yet." He turned to Sarah. "How about that one about the…"
"Sounds perfect."
"Right, so we're going to go." A moment later, Chuck and Sarah disappeared out the door.
"Oh well," Ellie said after they had left. "I guess it's just the three of us. Say Morgan, could you help me get a bottle of wine from the basement?"
"Um, sure."
"I'm so glad you could join us," Ellie said as she turned on the basement light. "Grab a bottle just over there."
Hardly an expert in wine, Morgan grabbed the first bottle he could see. "Is this ok?"
He turned around to find Ellie standing over him, giving him a hungry look.
"It looks tasty."
A moment later, Ellie stuck out her tongue. A very long, very forked tongue.
"Now," Ellie said, grabbing Morgan's arm, "how about a little snack…"
"No, don't eat me!" Morgan said, fighting off the hand grabbing him, as he burst awake.