Here's the thing: I didn't write this fic. My friend, Phoenixdrummer1490
did, I just beta-ed it. We submitted this to another site, but it didn't
get on. It's not bad! It's just not long enough for their liking. Ok, now
that that's over with, ON TO THE SUMMARY!! ::gallops away::
Summary: A songfic to Trace Adkins' 'One Hot Mama' Arthur tries to convince Molly that she's still attractive, even after their first three children.
Disclaimer: The song "One Hot Mama" belongs to Trace Adkins, and 'Confess and Request' is an actual show on US99 (99.5 FM). Wild Bill is also an actual person on the afore-said radio station.
Phoenixdrummer1490 also wishes to dedicate this fic to her inspirations and friends. Ronnie and Deidra (Ronnie is her inspiration, and Deidra is Ronnie's), Cait (No! I didn't mean it like that!!), Becky (Wait.I'm lost.), Kaity (we're smart, ::vinkvink::) Vanessa (AH! RABIES! RUN AWAAAAAYYYYY!!!), and Kelly (mustsmitenettle.mustsmitenettle.)
And now for the feature presentation.
~*~One Hot Mama~*~
Arthur Weasley sighed as he walked past the clock and into the living room, where he saw his wife doing aerobics to a video on the television that he had "borrowed" from work, featuring none other than.Gilderoy Lockhart.
"And one and two and three! Get those legs up!" Lockhart said from the video.
Arthur could see the sweat circles under Molly's arms, and in ... other places.
"Honey?"
"Yes, Arthur? Can't you see I'm busy? After I finish here, I'm going to the store for some chicken, and some of that baby formula for Percy. While I'm gone, please watch Bill. It seems he's learned how to pick the lock on the wand cabinet and I just caught him trying to turn his breakfast sausage into chocolate."
Molly got up and gathered both her money and Percy.
"Alright," Arthur said faintly, as she hurried out the door.
Molly got into the car, put baby Percy in the car seat, and closed the door, only to find that she'd forgotten the keys. Arthur stood on the stoop twirling the keys on his finger as she stormed up to him. He handed them to her with a wry smile, but she didn't react. As she turned around, Arthur's eyes wandered slowly down Molly's body just like they had in school. He sighed again and walked back into the house, where Charlie sat, serenely trying to get his toy dragon down Bill's pants.
After putting them in the playpen, Arthur wandered into the kitchen. He sat at the table and started fiddling with the dials on his newly acquired Muggle radio. Suddenly he heard a faint noise.music! He turned the dial on the side and it got louder.
"Amazing! Muggles do come up with the craziest things."
He then sat down and started listening.
~*~
"Hello! My name's Wild Bill Garcia on tonight's CONFESS AND REQUEST! We will be taking your calls, but before we play your song, you've got to make a confession to our listeners," a voice said from the radio.
"Hello, Bill! I've got a wild confession. While I was walking down the street today, the ice-cream man drove by, and I.flashed him!" a young woman, apparently a 'caller,' said.
" Well that deserves a request! What is it that you want me to play?"
" 'One Hot Mama,' please. Thanks, Bill!"
~*~
Arthur, though in shock at what he had heard, listened to the strains of music with a pad of paper in front of him.
"Wand, copy this down for me," he muttered.
You're doing all you can
To fit in them old jeans
You want that body back
You had at 17
Well baby don't get down
Don't you worry about a thing
'Cause the way you fill them out
Hey, that's all right with me
I don't want the girl you used to be
And if you haven't noticed
The kids are fast asleep
And you're.
One hot mama
You turn me on
Let's turn it up
And turn this room
Into a sauna
Well I know sometimes you think
That all you really are
Is the woman with the kids
And the groceries in the car
And you worry 'bout your hips
And you worry 'bout your age
Meanwhile I'm trying to catch The breath you take away
Oh, and believe me you still do
Baby all I see
When I look at you
Is.
One hot mama
You turn me on
Let's turn it up
And turn this room
Into a sauna
One hot mama
So what do you say babe
You wanna?
The wand had finished copying the song down, and Arthur quickly took it, signed his name, and folded it to put on the door. He then went to check on Bill and Charlie. Charlie had succeeded in shoving his toy dragon down Bill's pants, and was now crying because it was stuck. Arthur swiftly removed it and took the boys up to their room for a nap.
In the manner of most children, they fell asleep quickly, and it was not likely they would wake up very soon. Arthur heard Molly walk in and read the note, so he hurried to their bedroom and nervously sat on the bed. Molly walked up the stairs, quietly put Percy down for his nap, and opened the door to her and Arthur's bedroom with a scandalous look on her face. Suddenly, she grabbed his tie and only said one word.
"Yes."
The rest. well, let's just say that Fred and George came along soon after.
Summary: A songfic to Trace Adkins' 'One Hot Mama' Arthur tries to convince Molly that she's still attractive, even after their first three children.
Disclaimer: The song "One Hot Mama" belongs to Trace Adkins, and 'Confess and Request' is an actual show on US99 (99.5 FM). Wild Bill is also an actual person on the afore-said radio station.
Phoenixdrummer1490 also wishes to dedicate this fic to her inspirations and friends. Ronnie and Deidra (Ronnie is her inspiration, and Deidra is Ronnie's), Cait (No! I didn't mean it like that!!), Becky (Wait.I'm lost.), Kaity (we're smart, ::vinkvink::) Vanessa (AH! RABIES! RUN AWAAAAAYYYYY!!!), and Kelly (mustsmitenettle.mustsmitenettle.)
And now for the feature presentation.
~*~One Hot Mama~*~
Arthur Weasley sighed as he walked past the clock and into the living room, where he saw his wife doing aerobics to a video on the television that he had "borrowed" from work, featuring none other than.Gilderoy Lockhart.
"And one and two and three! Get those legs up!" Lockhart said from the video.
Arthur could see the sweat circles under Molly's arms, and in ... other places.
"Honey?"
"Yes, Arthur? Can't you see I'm busy? After I finish here, I'm going to the store for some chicken, and some of that baby formula for Percy. While I'm gone, please watch Bill. It seems he's learned how to pick the lock on the wand cabinet and I just caught him trying to turn his breakfast sausage into chocolate."
Molly got up and gathered both her money and Percy.
"Alright," Arthur said faintly, as she hurried out the door.
Molly got into the car, put baby Percy in the car seat, and closed the door, only to find that she'd forgotten the keys. Arthur stood on the stoop twirling the keys on his finger as she stormed up to him. He handed them to her with a wry smile, but she didn't react. As she turned around, Arthur's eyes wandered slowly down Molly's body just like they had in school. He sighed again and walked back into the house, where Charlie sat, serenely trying to get his toy dragon down Bill's pants.
After putting them in the playpen, Arthur wandered into the kitchen. He sat at the table and started fiddling with the dials on his newly acquired Muggle radio. Suddenly he heard a faint noise.music! He turned the dial on the side and it got louder.
"Amazing! Muggles do come up with the craziest things."
He then sat down and started listening.
~*~
"Hello! My name's Wild Bill Garcia on tonight's CONFESS AND REQUEST! We will be taking your calls, but before we play your song, you've got to make a confession to our listeners," a voice said from the radio.
"Hello, Bill! I've got a wild confession. While I was walking down the street today, the ice-cream man drove by, and I.flashed him!" a young woman, apparently a 'caller,' said.
" Well that deserves a request! What is it that you want me to play?"
" 'One Hot Mama,' please. Thanks, Bill!"
~*~
Arthur, though in shock at what he had heard, listened to the strains of music with a pad of paper in front of him.
"Wand, copy this down for me," he muttered.
You're doing all you can
To fit in them old jeans
You want that body back
You had at 17
Well baby don't get down
Don't you worry about a thing
'Cause the way you fill them out
Hey, that's all right with me
I don't want the girl you used to be
And if you haven't noticed
The kids are fast asleep
And you're.
One hot mama
You turn me on
Let's turn it up
And turn this room
Into a sauna
Well I know sometimes you think
That all you really are
Is the woman with the kids
And the groceries in the car
And you worry 'bout your hips
And you worry 'bout your age
Meanwhile I'm trying to catch The breath you take away
Oh, and believe me you still do
Baby all I see
When I look at you
Is.
One hot mama
You turn me on
Let's turn it up
And turn this room
Into a sauna
One hot mama
So what do you say babe
You wanna?
The wand had finished copying the song down, and Arthur quickly took it, signed his name, and folded it to put on the door. He then went to check on Bill and Charlie. Charlie had succeeded in shoving his toy dragon down Bill's pants, and was now crying because it was stuck. Arthur swiftly removed it and took the boys up to their room for a nap.
In the manner of most children, they fell asleep quickly, and it was not likely they would wake up very soon. Arthur heard Molly walk in and read the note, so he hurried to their bedroom and nervously sat on the bed. Molly walked up the stairs, quietly put Percy down for his nap, and opened the door to her and Arthur's bedroom with a scandalous look on her face. Suddenly, she grabbed his tie and only said one word.
"Yes."
The rest. well, let's just say that Fred and George came along soon after.