"What Does It Take" - Niff Oneshot
TW: character death, mentions of homophobia, mentions of cutting.
song title credit to Dave Days
"And he said, 'Nothing, what's up with you?!'" Jeff shouted the punch line and he and all the other Warblers broke out into a raucous laughter.
"Jeez, Jeff; you always manage to tell the best damn jokes." Thad laughed, striking his knee as he doubled over for another fit of laughs.
Jeff just shrugged his shoulders. "Aw, shucks, guys, stop." He said bashfully. The bell rang and the Warblers began to shuffle out of the common room, leaving Jeff to gather his things and look across the way at Nick, sitting at one of the tables.
"Hey, Nicky. C'mon, we're going to be late for History." Jeff called, lifting his school bag over his shoulder and approaching the brunette. It wasn't until he was closer that he noticed Nick's eyes were closed and his face was screwed up in pain.
"Nick…?"
Nick opened his eyes and looked up at the blonde. "Oh, sorry, man. Y-Yeah, right, History…" He said, pushing himself to his feet. He raked his hand through his hair and sighed heavily, the dark rings under his eyes very evident.
"You okay, Nicky…? You don't look too good. Did you not sleep well again last night?"
Nick groaned. "Don't even mention sleep to me… I didn't get any last night with this headache…" He grabbed his back and pulled the strap onto his shoulder, following Jeff out the common room.
"Maybe you should go back to our dorm, Nicky… You look really pale…" Jeff said worriedly, putting a hand to Nick's forehead.
He had a fever.
Nick swatted away Jeff's hand. "I'm fine… Let's just go to class, alright, Jeff?" Nick said, pleading with Jeff to just drop it.
Jeff sighed, but did as his best friend requested. "Just… Tell me if it gets worse, okay? I can volunteer to take you to the nurse's office."
"Thanks, but I won't need it."
The time spent in class went smoothly. Jeff continued to check Nick for signs of a worsening headache but he appeared to be doing alright for the most part. Still, Nick looked exhausted and sometimes he would knit his brows together and scrunch his eyes shut, as if trying to will the headache away.
"Nicky, let's just go to the nurse's office, please. We still have two classes left… You should rest." Jeff pleaded once again with Nick once history class let out.
Nick just waved Jeff off. "I said I'm fine. I took some Advil for my headache earlier and I'm taking another two right now; I swear, I'm fine. Besides, it's only two more classes. Then I can rest." He rummaged through his bag and pulled out the small bottle of pills; only for it to slip out his fingers, sending it clattering to the floor.
Nick cursed under his breath.
"I got it." Jeff knelt down and picked up the container. He looked up at the brunette, noticing that he was yet again twisting his brows together as if in pain. "Here…" Jeff popped the top of the container and shook out two pills into Nick's open hand.
Nick mumbled his thanks, downing the pills dry.
Jeff put a hand on Nick's back, rubbing coaxingly. "Are you really okay, Nicky?"
Nick just nodded, saying nothing.
"I'll see you after French?" Jeff asked.
"French? Shit, is it that time already…?"
"Yeah. I have calculus. Meet you back here after?"
Nick just nodded again before shuffling off to his next class. Jeff stood still for a moment, watching Nick walk away and round the corner, out of sight.
Jeff was in the middle of a complicated math problem when the sirens disturbed him from his
concentration. Everyone in the class looked up as they saw paramedics rush down the hall, passing Jeff's classroom completely.
"Where is he?!" Jeff heard one of the paramedics shout from down the hall.
The principal came running close behind them. "Room 362, just around this corner!"
Jeff felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. He swallowed hard and immediately stood to his feet.
That was Nick's classroom.
"Mr. Sterling. Take your seat. Class isn't over." The teacher instructed Jeff.
Jeff ignored the teacher, bolting out the room and down the hall. As he got closer to the classroom, he could see other students standing outside the classroom.
"What the hell is wrong with him…?"
"He just started spazzing out…"
"… Think it was a seizure or something."
Jeff pushed through the students, panic rising in his chest. He felt light-headed as he feared the worst.
J-Jeff, what're you doing here?" The French teacher stopped Jeff from entering the classroom. He was very aware of Jeff's relationship to Nick.
Jeff looked between the teacher and into the classroom. He could see paramedics working around a man, laying motionless on the ground. Jeff immediately recognized the man as his best friend. "N-Nick…!"
The paramedics ripped Nick's blazer and shirt open, pressing defibrillator paddles to his chest. Nick's body jolted off the ground as electricity surged through his body.
Jeff watched on in horror, a hand clasped over his mouth and tears streaming endlessly down his pale cheeks.
…. Four months earlier …
"So, uh, you like me and I like you… Does that mean we're….?"
"Boyfriends?" Nick finished Jeff's sentence for him.
Jeff chuckled shyly, intertwining his fingers with his best friend's. He nodded, "… Boyfriends."
"Quite a step up from 'just friends', don't you think?"
"Hey, we were 'best friends', not 'just friends'. But... Yes."
… Present Day, that evening …
Jeff felt like he was last to hear the news. He found out from Thad, who'd been in the same class as Nick, hearing from the French teacher.
He was just sitting on his bed, knees brought to his chest as he waited in silence for any word. Nick had been taken away by the paramedics and Jeff was told to go to his next class.
How the hell was he supposed to go to class when Nick was in an ambulance, being driven to the hospital? Jeff feigned sick to leave class and retreated into his and Nick's dorm room. It wasn't until later that evening when Thad called Jeff. The phone chimed with Nick's rendition of "Uptown Girl" and it broke the deathly silence of the room.
Jeff almost didn't answer the phone.
"Th-Thad? Wh… What is it, man?" It wasn't until that moment that Jeff realized his voice was shaky and quivering. He realized he'd been crying the entire time Nick had been gone.
"Jeff… We've gotten news on Nick."
…. Three months earlier …
"I told my mom about you. About… Us."
Jeff looked at Nick, wide-eyed. "N-Nick… You know that I'm not out yet. Why would you do that? What if… What if your mom tells my mom? Oh god, what if my dad finds out…?" Jeff went pale thinking of what would await him next time he went home and his family knew of his relationship with his new boyfriend.
Nick took Jeff's hand in his own, patting it and reassuring him. "Jeff, relax, I told my mom it's a secret. I told her not to tell your parents or even my dad. But… I just wanted to let someone know how happy you make me."
"R-Really…?" Jeff turned his frown upside down and felt the fear in his chest dying down.
Nick nodded and smiled at his boyfriend fondly. "Mmhmm. I've really been enjoying our time together."
"… Me too." Jeff replied, pressing a kiss to the brunette's soft lips.
…. Present Day, two days later…
"I… I don't understand! Why… Why won't you let me see him?!" Jeff shouted at the nurse.
"He's in ICU. It's family only."
Nick's mother came through the ICU doors and recognized Jeff. "J-Jeffrey, you're here. He's… He's been asking for you."
Jeff had never been more relieved to see Nick's mother. "C-can I go see him? They're telling me I can't…"
Nick's mother spoke with a nurse and assured them that Jeff had been close with Nick for a very long time and was practically family. Although the nurse gave Jeff a sour look, she allowed him into the ICU.
"Don't be alarmed by the way he looks, Jeffrey." Nick's mother whispered to the blonde before he entered the ICU.
Jeff walked into the ICU and saw Nick, lying in bed. Nick looked up at the blonde with tired eyes.
"N-Nick…" Jeff choked out a sob, running to the bed and taking the brunette's hand into his own. "G-god, I was… I was so worried about you…"
Nick tried to smirk to mask his obvious pain. "I'm fine. Just a lil… Headache."
Jeff tried to smile through his tears. "I'm so sorry, Nick. Please… Please forgive me, Nick."
Nick shook his head slowly. "Don't be, Jeffy."
…. Two months earlier….
"This isn't working."
"What? B-but… I thought everything was going great? Wh… Why, Jeff?"
Jeff couldn't look Nick in the eye. "I just… I can't, Nick."
"Tell me why!" Nick couldn't believe his ears.
"My mom found out! Someone saw us together at the Lima Bean and… And they told my mom. My father's furious."
Nick was silent. He didn't know what to say. "… So this is it…?"
…. Present Day, one hour later ….
"I'm really glad they let you into the room. I kept asking the doctors and nurses b-but they kept saying no…" Nick whispered to Jeff. The two were lying on the bed together, fingers intertwined. Nick rested his tired head against Jeff's chest.
"Shh, I'm here now, Nicky… I'm here now." Jeff whispered back.
"… This is nice. Usually I'm always the stronger one. I like being taken care of by you." Nick chuckled, but his laugh was interrupted by a fit of coughs.
Jeff quietly shushed Nick again, sitting up and grabbing a tissue to wipe Nick's mouth. "Don't speak… Just rest, Nicky. When…" His voice faltered, tears welling up in his eyes again. He looked away from the brunette. He cleared his throat and looked back at Nick with a slight smile. "When you're better, I'll take care of you every day."
"… Just like that one time?" Nick asked, looking up at Jeff with wet eyes. He himself was on the verge of tears as well.
Jeff smiled and nodded, fresh tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. "Just like that one time."
… One month earlier …
"Nick…?" Jeff called to the brunette from beyond the bathroom door. "Are you okay, Nick?" He heard a retching sound followed by a weak groan and then the flush of the toilet.
"I… I'm fine, Jeff.. Just, just go to class…" Nick said weakly, slumping next to the smelly porcelain bowl.
Jeff twisted the doorknob and was thankful that Nick had left it unlocked. He opened the door and saw the pale brunette sitting slumped on the bathroom floor. "Nick, are you—"
Before Jeff could even finish his sentence, Nick scrambled for the porcelain bowl and threw up again, a fit of coughs following right after. Jeff quickly knelt down beside Nick and rubbed his back, looking at his friend worriedly.
"...'s nothing..." Nick said, flushing the toilet. Jeff reached up to grab a small washcloth and hand it to Nick.
"It doesn't look like 'nothing'." Jeff replied curtly. He clicked his tongue, stood up, and rummaged through the drawers. "I think we still have some medicine left over when I had the flu a couple months ago..."
"It's not the flu." Nick answered, wiping his mouth with the washcloth and standing up slowly. He nearly lost his balance but Jeff caught him by the arm just in time. He was dizzy and light-headed, his skin clammy yet warm.
Jeff put a hand to his friend's forehead.
He had a fever.
Nick gently pushed Jeff's hand away from his head. "I'm fine... Just exhaustion and something bad I ate, probably." He lied, shuffling past Jeff to get back to the beds. He plopped himself onto his own, curling up in the sheets.
Jeff sighed, following Nick over to the bed and taking a seat at the edge. "I'll take of you today. Missing one day of classes won't be too bad. Are you sure this is just because of something you ate?"
Nick mumbled an affirmative.
Jeff stayed in from classes that day to tend to Nick, running out a little later to get some soup as well as some extra medicine, just in case. He returned to the dorm after collecting his and Nick's homework from their missed classes, finding Nick still cuddled up in his bed, breathing heavily. Jeff walked over to the bed and brushed some of the hair that had fallen onto his face, strands sticking to his sweaty brow.
Jeff sighed slightly, studying Nick's sleeping face. He'd been missing the nights where he'd fall asleep in Nick's arms and they'd cuddle together. After the break-up, things were only awkward for a week or so; But both agreed that being awkward was stupid. They agreed to go back to being friends; They both didn't like being mad or hurt at each other.
Nick stirred awake, groaning softly. "... Water," he whispered, his voice hoarse.
Even with Nick's voice soft as a mouse, Jeff could hear Nick's request and promptly fetched a bottled water to give to the ill man. "Here. Drink slowly, Nicky." Jeff watched Nick in silence as the brunette took slow but long sips of water, his face still pale like before.
"Th-Thanks," Nick mumbled to the blonde, handing the capped, half-empty bottle.
Jeff sat at the edge of the bed, tucking Nick back under the sheets. "I swear, Nick... You should really learn to take better care of yourself. This is probably because you were up all night again and-"
"I love you."
Jeff was interrupted by Nick's hoarse voice. The room was silent with Jeff staring wide-eyed at Nick, who appeared calm. Nick had spoken with not a bit of hesitance in his voice, so sure that the words he had just spoken rang truth.
"N-Nick, you-"
"I love you and I've always loved you. Even if we can't be together... I love you." Nick said again, his voice still calm as always. "I can't stop thinking about you... I really want to be together with you again."
"Nick..."
Nick propped himself up by his elbows, pressing a kiss to Jeff's cheek. "Please say you want to be with me, Jeff."
… Present Day, two months later ...
Jeff walked past the aisle of pews which were filled with family members and schoolmates. Jeff recognized some faces and others he didn't. He would have chosen to sit with his fellow Warblers, but Nick's mom had asked him to sit next to her and the rest of the Duval family.
"Nicholas really loves you, Jeffrey. He told me so himself. He would've wanted you to speak." Nick's mom whispered to him.
After his father, mother, and a few teachers from school had had their turn speaking, Nick's mom urged Jeff to step up. Jeff did as requested and walked up to the podium. He turned and looked at the portrait of the handsome brunette.
"I love Nick. My biggest mistake in life was that I never told him so. I love him with all my heart and my body aches knowing that he won't be waking up in the bed next to mines at our dorm. I..." Jeff choked back a sob, tears filling his eyes. He lowered his head and tried to compose himself before continuing. "I love him so much and... He was such a wonderful guy. He had such a bright future and it just... It's not fair that he was taken away so soon."
A few days later, Jeff found himself bundled under the covers in his dorm room. He'd locked the door so no one could bother him. He hadn't gone to any of his classes. He couldn't bear the thought of walking down the familiar halls without Nick.
Even staying in the dorm was sometimes painful. Whenever Jeff turned to look at the empty bed, he would break out into tears. He desperately wanted Nick back with him, to hold and keep close forever.
One day, Jeff finally snapped.
He got up from bed early in the morning- before the sun was even out- and went into the bathroom. He locked the door; He was a little paranoid. He took out a small black box from the cabinet underneath the sink and placed it on the the counter.
Looking at himself in the mirror, Jeff saw how thin he had gotten. When was the last time he ate? He noticed the dark rings under his eyes and it reminded him of how Nick looked before he was admitted to the hospital. When was the last time he slept?
He opened the black box and pulled out the thin and small object, the metal glinting in the light. He turned on the sink and cold water rushed out the faucet. Jeff took a few deep breaths to steel himself.
"I'll see you soon, Nicky."
A/N: Thanks for reading. Reviews/Critiques/Favorites are all appreciated.