Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura is property of Clamp.

Note: For those of you, like me, who find Author's Notes annoying, they will not be in any of my chapters (excluding this one). More complete notes can be found in my bio.

To Ease The Pain

Elven

The trip home from school was in no way a grueling one. In fact, it was much to short. There are some things in the world I've come to hate: math exams and 'home'. Home... no, that isn't the word... It's... their house. Strangely, I felt something cold against my cheek. A tear.

I laugh it away to regain my normal, giddy composure. Laughing takes all of my problems away. It's so pure. Free. Somehow I feel as if it's how I'm supposed to be. But the truth is that math exams will always be there. No matter how hard I try to laugh them away. The numbers will still sit there, leaving my mind muddled on factoring and FOIL and supplementary angle. I sift uncomfortably trying to forget math...

I take my sweet time walking through the winding path that goes through the garden. I pick one of the peonies from the floor bed and hold it to my face to smell it's beautiful scent. Though Niang is cruel, her gardens are simply exquisite. I twirl the white flower around my fingers until, in a mindless state, put it behind my ear. I slowly, solemnly make my way up the stairs. Coming upon the oak doors, I trace my finger along the intricate carvings depicting age old battles where magic ruled.

My thoughts are inevitably interrupted when my foster mother's yells send me slamming back to reality. "Sakura, get inside this house! Now!" The same thing everyday, not that I mind much. No one in this neighborhood is very kind... Just the snobby rich folks.

The loving greetings continue when my spoiled, rotten foster sister, Mayen, demands me to do her homework. If Niang, my foster mother, wasn't there I might have walked away or just ignored her, but Niang's favoritism runs deep. I'm on the lower side.

"I'd be delighted to help you with your homework," I responded in an outwardly happy voice. This family works as a hierarchy. The mother, the father, the little sister, the older brother, the older sister, and last and least, me.

Mayen retorted in her whiniest voice, "But I want you to do it!" I could almost see a storm brewing around her as her temper rose. Her black hair moves in rough whips while her frozen blue eyes follow my every movement, burning with rage. Cold and stinging at the same time.

"If I do my homework for you, you would never learn. Then how would you bring honor to the family?"

"She's quite right, Mayen dear. Besides, god knows hear math is simply appalling," stated Niang. The one argument that sways my way, the honor issue. Followed by a standard insult. Niang's lip curled up into a smirk. Even this distortion of her features couldn't make her look even the slightest ugly. Her beauty is another of her brilliant qualities. All of which are outweighed several times by how she treats me. Her dark brown hair cascades down her back. Her eyes, which are a lighter shade of brown, are kind when she looks at everyone... excluding me...

Suddenly, my older foster sister and older foster brother walk into the room. One has a look of utter exuberance on her face. The other looks as if he's been smashed and thrown in the mud.

The girl, Kenza, bounces around and hugs everyone. My smile grew only bigger when she hugged me. Kenza's the only thing that keeps me going. She smiles at me... not smirking.

"What, dear child, has gotten you so ecstatic?"

"The captain of the soccer team was like totally checking me out!" Kenza is head cheerleader at her high school, and I at my middle school. She taught me to keep me ahead of the game. Oh! I forgot about Kenzo! Kenzo and Kenza are twins. They both inherited Niang's looks. Kenza is considered a teenage goddess at her school. I've seen soccer games pause because the players suddenly feel the overwhelming need to drool. Then someone scores.

Kenzo is, well, a player. He's said to be sensitive, kind, caring, and to top it all of incredibly hot. I can't see any of those in him. The only thing I see is a guy that brings home a different girl every night. I even remember one night when there were two different girls only in different rooms. That doesn't really count though because he said they were doing a middleman simulation.

I feel the prickling on the back off my neck. For some inexplicable reason I always feel safe when it's there. Sometimes when the air is calm and all is silent I care hear a voice saying "Kaijuu..." and somewhere in the back of my mind I remember, for a moment, that voice and where it came from. In those times I feel a sense of belonging, before the memories fade, and I am left, once again, alone.

Soon discussion dies down and I stow away to my room for a moment's peace.

I laid down upon my bed of tattered sheets to rest. My friend Kero beside me. The yellow plushy-like guardian always was there for me. He listens to my troubles. He and Kenza, but I prefer not to bother her with my problems... They're just a waste of her time.

The day, like all the others, had been a tiring one. After the gathering in the family room I had to do my chores. Fortunately, I got out of doing Mayen's homework. I could feel the drowsiness over taking my being but just before I fall into the void of sleep I hear the creaking of the warped floorboards.

I change from tired to alert and listen to the steps. The patterns of the steps are predictable. She's stepping lightly, so as to avoid unwanted company. Kenza... She isn't like the rest. Of course she acts like she despises the ground I walk on. Sometimes it really gets under my skin that she has such mixed signals, but I know there's a perfectly logical explanation. It would be stupid to show any feelings of sympathy for me, Niang and I aren't on the best of terms. I wonder what I did...

"Sakura?" I hear the faintest whisper of my name from the trap door that leads to the attic. As I look over the slimmer of dim light hurts my eyes, yet I see Kenza's head poking through.

"Come in..." I say, stirring groggily from my near rest. "What is it, Kenza?"

"Um...I brought you some dinner. I know you never get much."

"I get enough... but Kero might like something..." Yeah, Kenza knows about Kero, I wanted to talk to someone about it. I was really confused when I found him.

Though the room was dark I could somehow sense the grin forming on Kenza's face. "I thought so. When does he not need 100 pounds of food... a minute."

"Hey! I think that is a little bit exaggerated!" The yellow fur-ball zoomed around angrily at the thought of hi eating that much food.

"T-5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

"Well, I guess that much food wouldn't be that bad."

"0." Kenza bowed to her loving audience in recognition of her amazing counting skills.

Sakura couldn't help but giggle at how well her sister knew Kero.

After handing the snack to the now drooling Kero, Kenza turned her attention to Sakura. "There's another reason I came up tonight..."

"What?" I helped myself to one of the apples that had been tossed to the way-side on the floor.

"Mother and Father are having some financial troubles... They're saying that they can't support anyone but the family..." She gave me a slight smile, but there was something in her eye... sorrow...? No that was just my imagination.

Thinking back on that night, I realize that there was something in her voice that was foreboding. A deep fear of hers coming to life... But knowing how I am, I listened completely oblivious to the picture.

I let any fears I held that night ebb away and listened to the crunching of Kero's eating and the retreating steps of Kenza's feet and the noises of the crickets chirping in the grass and then, without realizing it, I fell into the sightless world of the night.

The next morning I awoke to a gentle shaking, but soon noticed that Kero was putting his heart and should into moving me anyway that would raise me to a state of consciousness. "Oh so you finally decide to show your radiant presence in the world of the living," said Kero sardonically.

"Hey, I never did anything to you!"

"Except make me shake you for any hour or so."

"Hoe! Am I late for school?" In a blink of an eye I was up and running about taking a shower, which was incredibly hard to do because the bathroom was always in use, brushing my hair, getting dressed, and just all around getting ready.

As I told you before, the trip from home to school doesn't make me break out in a sweat. I was standing at the front gate of the school in next to no time. And in my chair shortly after.

"Glad to see your showing on time today, Sakura." Falo-sensei had just walked in, placing his briefcase on the desk. "As I'm sure you all know, there's a pep rally tomorrow, which our lovely cheerleaders will be heading up..." He gave a nod of the head to Sakura, head cheerleader. "They've been asked to head down to the gymnasium to have some extra practice. Sakura, Dena you can go."

I stood up with another girl called Dena. She's pretty nice, and a stereotypical cheerleader. She has the greatest hair. It's soft, blonde, just under shoulder length.

We laughed all the way down the hall, remembering all of the amazing experiences of these past few years. Eighth grade already... I've been here for a few years. I've moved around so much I lost track of the time.

Cheerleading practice was as always, fun and exhausting. I found something soon that wiped it from my mind. The house was different... Something was happening... Was it the swaying of the trees in there beautiful spring buds? Maybe the way that everything was so serene. Or maybe it's because I didn't hear that all too familiar yell of Niang's. I just knew.

I silently walked to the door and opened it just a crack as to not disturb anyone or anything that happen to be on the other side.

"Sakura, dear, come have a seat." If I needed anything to confirm my suspicions, this did it. Niang had a quality in her voice that left me...shocked. She had changed! I wonder what happened to make me deserve this. Everything seemed to be looking up for me!

Okay... maybe I wasn't thrilled when Kenzo started checking me out, but this is the first time I wore my cheerleading outfit to the house... I should cut him a little slack...

The next thing that happened... There are no words to describe it... Just listen to me tell you...

"We're afraid you're just getting in the way of this family operating." My heart stopped, what had I done? "After careful consideration..." Hmmm? I never heard of a decision being made. "We have chose to send you to an orphanage. We don't have the resources to support you."

For a moment, all froze, my mind processed what I had heard. Soon reflexes kicked in. I left the room in tears. I hate them! All they did was scream after me saying, "You're to be off in the morning!"

More than one tear fell that night as I packed all of my ver few belongings into my bag. As each item found its way to my arms and I dusted it of, every story told came to memory.

I brushed my hands against the old blanket. I've had it such the beginning of time. I... I don't remember where I got it, but there's a sun-moon symbol weaved on it.

Then the time came to pack my one and only picture... Me and Kenza... We stood ontop of on of the buildings... There was a garden up there. They freshly bloomed sherry blossoms swayed in the evening breeze. The stars twinkled in the sky, a becon of hope in my lost world. We were leaning against the railing staring of to the stars. Kenzo took the picture... back when he was still nice. A fresh wave of tears spread over my cheeks and hands. My tears mingled with the dust and made a sticky paste.

I cried myself to sleep that night... for a change.