.-.

it was midnight when she heard the rapping on her door.

she stumbled to her feet, feeling that last slice of cake she ate, and pulled it open.

the rain mixed with brittany's tears, spilling down her cheeks.

quinn didn't say anything as brittany fell into her outstretched arms, simply started stroking her hair and tried to mask her sigh as a yawn.

.-.

"why do you keep doing this to me?" she breathed out as they moved under the sheets.

brittany shrugged. "you're easy."

"what's that supposed to mean?" quinn backed away and stared at brittany; only a tinge of hurt visible in her eyes.

"you always want me," brittany kissed her, "when santana doesn't."

.-.

she didn't know why she kept doing it.

brittany just kept giving her little moments and hugs and kisses and tucking them into her pocket whenever she caught sight of santana.

but quinn started minding less and less.

so when santana broke brittany's heart {a g a i n}, quinn found herself closing the door on her.

curling into her pillow and turning on the radio as loud as it could go.

she was almost numb.

almost; but not quite.

.-.

she watched the light flicker out of the cigarette butt as she stomped on it with her foot.

mild interest flickered across her features but she didn't make a sound.

it was eerily quiet.

she watched brittany jump up and down on the field with the other Cheerios.

she watched santana hold her hand and whisper in her ear.

she felt that she should feel something. /how ironic/.

but instead, quinn twirled a strand of newly-dyed pink hair and clenched tighter onto the pack of cigarettes.

.-.

it was dawn when it happened.

she had tried to evade mirrors her whole life-

but it was right in front of her.

mocking her, even.

she woke up, walked up to the mirror, and punched it.

nothing.

she felt her eyes narrow and she started kicking it and punching it with all the might in her body.

her hands were red and sore.

quinn didn't care.

for the first time in four months, she smiled.

.-.

brittany picked her up and swung her around, telling her something about unicorns and a fairy castle.

quinn was back to wearing baby doll dresses and her hair was a honey blonde once more.

everyone thought she was fine.

she wasn't so sure.

there was definately a hole in her heart; she just couldn't tell if it was growing larger or shrinking.

ignoring it seemed to be the best option.

.-.

she stared at her pack of cigarettes.

she hesitated, a hand reaching over it.

then she pulled the hand away and pushed the pack into her trash can.

brittany cheered and giggled and laughed, and quinn felt her hands start to tremble.

she didn't know why she felt so annoyed toward brittany.

but she did.

so she picked up a cigarette and lit it right in her face.

definance tasted bitter.

quinn decided she liked bitter.

.-.

brittany reached out a gentle hand to take quinn's.

"isn't the sky so dreamy?" she asked, gazing up at the stars.

"sure, whatever," quinn mumbled.

she felt brittany cup her cheek and relaxed into the kiss.

she wasn't sure what it meant, but it was familiar.

so were the tangled limbs and the fact that brittany had freckles running down her chest.

sometimes today can't be tomorrow.

and quinn was okay with that.

.-.