So, I'm starting a new fic, one that'll probably end up having about ten chapters, if I get enough reviews (I'm not going to waste my time on a fic that no one likes!). It'll be fun, family orientated, and this first chapter is literally an introduction.

All credit to characters goes to Stephanie Meyer, her publishers and Summit Entertainment. Character manipulation and scenarios are simply a product of my over-reactive imagination – I promise I'll put the characters back into their boxes once I'm done playing with them.

Please, review, as I really have no idea whether this is a good idea for a fic, or if I'm wasting my time. Reviews are important to me – your opinions matter to me as a budding writer!

"Hey Edward."

"Go away."

"Edward."

"No."

"But Eddie!"

"Jog on."

"C'mon. Please?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because it's stupid."

"What's stupid?"

"You are."

"Ouch Eddie. That hurt. If my heart still worked it would've just been broken."

"Moron."

"Fine. If you won't play along, I bet Jasper will."

"I'm sure he will."

"I always preferred him anyway."

Edward grinned as Emmett flounced across the room.

"Jasper."

"What?"

"Knock knock."

"Oh dear."

"No, it's 'who's there?' Play properly! Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"You know."

"You know, who?"

"Exactly. AVADA KERDAVRA!"

Jasper rolled his eyes as his brother burst into peals of laughter.

"That's not funny, moron," Rosalie scoffed from the dining room.

"Hey Rose, how did the blonde get money for gas? She sold her car."

Jasper snickered.

"Did you hear about the vampire who insulted his wife? Yeah, he didn't get any for six months," she replied dryly.

Edward chuckled.

"Hello, children," Carlisle sauntered down the stairs. "And how are we all this fine afternoon?"

Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Alice looked at him, dumbfounded.

"What?" he asked, dropping the arms he had raised to them inviting them into an embrace.

"Did you just get laid?" Emmett asked bluntly.

"You, my dear son, are the being for whom the word 'crude' was invented," Carlisle sighed. "Why?"

"You're awful... happy," Jasper evaluated.

"That doesn't have to mean I just..." he trailed off.

"Prude," Alice snickered.

"Old timer," Edward guffawed.

"Shut it, you lot," Carlisle said, embarrassed. "Anyway. I have a proposition for you. How would you like to have Spring Break in England?"

"England?" Emmett yelled? "Aw, hell no! They don't know the meaning of football! I mean, c'mon, pick the ball up once in a while!"

"Their football is soccer, idiot," Jasper groaned. "How do you not know that?"

"And they speak funny."

"Emmett, quiet for a second. What does everyone else think?"

Esme flitted down the stairs to Carlisle's side and gave him a small smile as she took his hand. "I think it's a nice idea. Your father was born there; I think it's high time we paid it a visit!"

"You would," Emmett grumbled, and slouched back into the settee.

"I'd like to go!" Alice chirped. "It's... quirky."

"Of all the adjectives you could have used for England and you chose quirky," Carlisle sighed theatrically. "Anyway, the flights are booked; we'll spend three days in London, two days in Cambridge and then a week travelling round the countryside. How does that sound?"

"Cambridge?" Emmett asked blankly.

"Oh my God Emmett. You're so stupid," Rosalie laughed. "It has like, one of the best colleges there! Or, universities, I should say. Cambridge University?"

"Great," he groaned. "What do we do during our vacation? Go to some stinking college."

"Edward?" Carlisle addressed him. "Bella?"

"She's spending Christmas with her mum in Florida anyway. It'll be good!"

Alice's eyes were going blank then focusing quickly.

"Alice?" Esme asked.

Alice beamed. "It's going to be good! The weather is looking cloudy, wet and cold – perfect!"

"If I get bored there and end up playing real football on their cricket pitches, I'm blaming you." Emmett glared at Carlisle.

He clapped his hands together. "Excellent, folks. I know you'll all love it!"

Emmett snorted, and slouched off to the garage.

"Where're you going?" Alice demanded.

"Like you don't know," he grumbled. "Off to play one last game of football before we have to resort to wussy soccer."

"Football... by yourself?" Rosalie suppressed a laugh.

"Yes," he said defiantly, and swaggered off with his nose in the air.

The rest broke out into silent laughter.

So basically, I plan on taking them places I know well, towns and cities I enjoy, and prepare for 'family fun time' as I'm going to call it; the guys will wreck havoc in Tesco and clear the pool in Cambridge, whilst the girls clear out Harrods and kick it up a few notches at Alton Towers! Okay, so this summary sounds pretty crap, but it'll be fun and maybe have some lemons in there at some point too!