Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any of the characters associated with it.
Hey all, so I'm back with another Edmund Humour and, like my other stories, it's extremely random! Like seriously, if you don't like random, then don't read it!
I also wrote this for Narnia4ever62 :)
Please enjoy and make sure you review!
Bookcase Boarding
Edmund POV
Bored. Bored. Bored. I am so golly BORED! I mean, really, how is it even possible for me to be bored! I own a stinking country! I sigh out of boredom as I listen to Peter's rambling on about, you guessed it, waterfalls, not dams this time, oh no, dams are far too mainstream these days, so the idiot decides to talk about WATERFALLS! I don't even know what he's carrying on about! Something about how logs shouldn't be allowed to fall down them or something, oh well, it's not important anyway. I look down to my friend, Serendipity, and wink, the usual signal that I'm about to do something that is completely irresponsible and downright stupid! But also extremely fun even though it usually ends up with me getting into trouble. She's standing by the door and so naturally she gestures for me to come over to her.
"PETER!" I shout in his ear. He groans in frustration probably because that's like the millionth time I've done that within the past hour.
"Edmund, why don't you do us all a favour and GET OUT!" I smile brightly.
"CERTAINLY! I can't believe it took you this long." He shakes his head, but I ignore him and happily skip over to Serendipity, not before I grab his crown though and flip it off of his big, fat head! Have I mentioned that Serendipity is one of the duchesses and a good friend of mine? We usually pull pranks on the others or do stupid things together out of boredom and it usually gets us into trouble, but who cares; It's fun!
"So what's the plan for today, Edmund?" I smile mischievously and cackle, my new habit by the way, and yes, I'm allowed to! Even though Peter's made it a new law that I'm not allowed to, but I do it anyway! Because I'm a rebel – and awesome – and smocking hot!
"Well, it is summer. So we are going to – wait for it – bookcase board." She raises an eyebrow at me, her brown eyes showing her genuine curiosity.
"What in Narnia is 'Bookcase Boarding'?" Oh how little she knows!
"Well, it's when we grab a bookcase, put skies on it, and then ride it down the roof where we will then land into the pond! It's full proof! Nothing can possibly go wrong!" I shout as I jump up and down like a teenage girl while clapping my hands. She's silent for a moment, thinking it over.
"THAT'S THE BEST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD! I swear; this is going to be amazing!" she exclaims suddenly! And this is why this girl is awesome! Now to go and get the pieces! We both sneak our way past the guards, because we're like ninjas in our sneakiness skills, before we run over to the horse stables. We grab my wheelbarrow, Fred, before Serendipity jumps into it. I then push her over to the hardware stand where this burly looking guy is staring at us like we're freaks, which we totally are.
"One bookshelf please, and some wooden skies that are polished down so that they can slide along a roof, a rope, also some bright yellow paint, oh and don't forget to add in the nails and hammer!" Serendipity asks. The guy stares at us with a blank expression before he shakes his head.
"I don't know what you two are up to today, but it sounds like someone is going to get hurt. So I'll give you the stuff free of charge, since you're going to have to be paying for a doctor later."
"THANK YOU!" I shout out loudly. Quite a few heads turn our way.
"KIND EDMUND!" I hear a little boy shout out as he runs up to me along with all his friends. "Are you going to do something cool today?" they all ask at once. I nod and lean against Fred like cool people do.
"We're going to be riding down a roof on a bookcase and then we're going to land in the pond."
"THAT IS SO AWESOME!" they all scream out at once. I laugh like a strange posh person – actually it's kind of like how Peter laughs – and then pay for the items. Serendipity is walking beside me as we head back to the castle. We agreed that riding down the main castle roof would be like committing suicide – yes, I know, it's amazing! We actually have some common sense; Well, Serendipity does anyway – so we chose to do it off the horse stable roof instead. Once we get to the castle, we get to work.
"This looks so cool, Edmund! I can't wait to take it for ride!" Serendipity says as she eagerly jumps into the wooden bookcase, causing her short brown hair to fly up. I smile wickedly.
"Yes, it will be! Just wait until the paint lands on Susan's head too!" This is going to be AMAZING! So let me explain what we've done, we've put the pot of paint in the bookshelf that way we can empty all the contents onto Susan's head as she goes to grab her horse. We've also attached the skies onto the bottom of the bookcase. We're now standing on the roof, ready for the moment. I cackle again as I jump in next to Serendipity.
"You two are really going to regret this," Lucy says as she climbs up the ladder to the roof to see us. I turn to her and look her dead in the eye.
"We don't need you telling us what to do, so shut up!" I reply smugly.
"Yeah, shut up, Lucy, we didn't ask for your opinion, did we?" Serendipity adds on. I give her a high five. Seriously, the coolest girl ever!
"Okay, but don't tell me I didn't tell you so." She climbs back down the ladder then. Good riddance! Serendipity picks up the paint as we both line the bookcase up in the vague direction of the pond. Once we're set, we wait. A crowd has gathered alongside the horse stables as Susan walks out. "GOOOOO!" I shout out to the awesome girl next to me! We both scream loudly as we fly down the sloped roof. Serendipity tilts the paint pot just as Susan is walking underneath us. She looks up at us only to get bright, yellow paint splattered all over her face!
"EDMUND!" Susan squeals angrily before she starts throwing a tantrum about her new dress getting ruined. She starts stamping her foot on the ground and crying about the stupid thing. What a baby!
"TAKE THAT YOU BORING, ANNOYING SISTER!" I scream as we soar through the air like little birdies in the wind. I high five Serendipity.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ACTUALLY WORKED!" she screams at me, her face lit up with a huge wicked grin. I know my expression matches her. We start heading down then, only to realise that instead of heading for the pond, we're actually headed for a potion stall. We look at each other with wide eyes before we grab onto each other for dear life!
"AHHHHHH!" we scream as we fly down. The weird man standing inside the stall, who is wearing a dress by the way, leaps out of the way, just in time. BOOM! We smash into the stall only to set off about one-hundred different potions. Serendipity and I both start coughing like crazy before everything on my body starts to feel tingly. I look down only to realise,
"MY GORGEOUS, SEXY LEGS ARE NOW FROG LEGS!" I can't help it, I start crying crazily before pouting at the all the citizens of Cair Paravel, who are all laughing their butts off! I go to wipe away my tears only to notice, "My hands are now hooves!" I cry even harder than before as I wipe my nose with my stupid horse hoof. I look over to Serendipity then – in a very strange way, I will add. Seriously, I barely turn my head – before I forget all about my stupid problem and begin laughing wildly at her! Her eyes are like a crocodiles, they sit onto top of her head and her body now is bright blue in colour.
Serendipity POV
I feel kind of weird as I sit here next to the ridiculous looking King. His wide, chameleon like eyes look so stupid, along with his bright blue hair. I can't help it. I burst out laughing, only to realise a second later that my hair does seem to be a little bit abnormal. I grab a lock of it and scream! My hair has turned into a rainbow!
"I LOOK LIKE A FREAK!" I cry out. "My beautiful hair, my beautiful hair," I murmur as I rock back and forth only to notice that I'm looking directly down something furry. I touch my face. "I HAVE A DONKEY NOSE!" I begin crying harder than ever before as I grip my hair and cry my eyes out. I look up just in time to see little, pixie like Lucy walking over to us. She takes one look at us, only to burst out laughing!
"I told you so!" she laughs out, as Peter comes to stand beside her. He starts laughing then too, his little posh laugh coming out in little spurts.
"You two look ridiculous! I mean what were you both thinking?" Peter manages to get out between laughs. Edmund and I both grab hold of each other then and start bawling our eyes out!
"DON'T BE MEAN!" we both cry out. They laughing only gets louder as we complain. We stop after a while though when I get struck with an idea, or was that just another potion landing on my head...oh well!
"I have an idea, let's just walk out of here with our head held high and pretend like this was meant to happen," I whisper into Edmunds ear. He nods.
"Good idea." So with that we both stand, wood shingles falling off of us like water droplets and walk away proudly.
Edmund POV
"KING EDMUND! KING EDMUND! THAT WAS SO COOL!" one of the little boys shout out as we walk away, well Serendipity is walking away, mine is more of a leap due to my frog legs.
"I know Kiddo, I know!"
"Can we turn into strange people too?" I cackle again – stop judging me! – as they begin following us.
"Well of course you can my little pretties." Suddenly there are cheers all around us and comments about how brave we are and how totally awesome and fun that looked. I just eat up the attention happily. Take that Peter and Lucy!
"THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! Why are people cheering them on? They ruined my dress!" Susan whines. I walk over to her, and both Serendipity and I put our hands, or hooves, onto her shoulders.
"There, there. It'll be okay little boring weirdo." Susan slaps our hands, or hooves, away before she begins running inside. "She's going to have to learn the hard way sometime." The little boys all nod in agreement with me and with those words we all run into the castle where we continue to eat strange foods and paint each other strange colours. I will also add on, that our potions do wear off, after 7 hours.
So there we have it, hope you enjoyed it!
narnia and beareject fan 1
xoxo