South Park Disney
Not in love with that hoe (won't say I'm in love)
Author's note: Don't worry, I'm still working on "Authoritah and how to respect it". But just for fun, I thought I'd write these Disney songs scripts adapted to South Park. The first one is a Candy (just couldn't help myself. There might be some more candy on the way) and it's "Won't say I'm in love" from Hercules turned into "Not in love with that hoe"
(scene: Cartman's house, Cartman, Kenny, Stan, Kyle and Butters are playing videogames)
Stan (to Cartman) – Dude, what the hell was all that between you and Wendy today?
Cartman – Nothing. Just the usual: your ex being a bitch
Kyle – Dude, that's like the fifth time this month you two go to PC Principal's office because of that shit
Kenny (muffled by the parka) – Yeah dude, it's getting ridiculous
Butters – It's like you have a crush on her or something
(All but Cartman laugh)
Cartman – Butters, stop being a fag. That's freaking retarded. Me? A crush on that hoe?
Stan – I don't know man, it kinda adds up
(Bebe's house, Wendy, Bebe, Red, Nichole and Heidi are sitting on her bedroom talking)
Bebe – So, Wendy, what's up between you and Cartman?
Wendy – What?
Heidi – Yeah, there's something between you two
Red, Nichole – Yeah
Nichole – You guys fight so much it's like you're crying for each other's attention
Wendy – Me? Attention from that Fatass? Get your head out of your ass
(Queue the music start, cuts to Cartman)
Cartman – You guys must be freaking high. No way I'm in love with that hoe
(Starts the singing)
Cartman – If there's a prize for rotten judgement… I guess I've already won that
Wendy – No man is worth the aggravation
(Both their friends creep up behind them)
Cartman and Wendy (side by side shot) – that's ancient history, been there, done that
All friends – Who you think you're kidding? He/she's the earth and heaven to you, try to keep it hidden honey/buddy we can see right through you
Cartman/Wendy – Fuck you! (Vocalizing)
Friends – Girl/Dude, you can't conceal it, we know how you're feeling, who you're thinking of!
Cartman – No chance, no way, not in love with that hoe
Cartman's friends – you scream, you fight, don't deny it my bro
Cartman – It's too cliché, not in love with that hoe
Wendy's friends – ooh ooh ooh
Wendy – I thought my heart had learned its lesson, it feels so good when you start out.
Cartman – My head is saying, get a grip dude
Both – unless you're dying to drink yourself out (Cartman takes a shot of whisky)
Wendy(vocalizing) (gives her friends the finger) – Screeew you
All friend's – You keep on denying, who you are and how you're feeling, baby/buddy we're not buying, coz we saw you hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When you gonna own up that you got, got, got it bad?
Wendy – No chance, no way, screw you guys, going home
Wendy's friends – It's his catchphrase,
Bebe - now tell me it's not love
Wendy – This scene won't play; I'll never be his hoooooooooooooe!(Cartman vocalizes Hooooooe too)
All friends – You're doing flips, read our lips, your in love!
Wendy – you're way off base, I won't say it
Wendy's friends – She won't say it
Cartman – Get off my case, I won't say it
Cartman's friends – Dude, don't be proud, it's okay, you're in love
Both – OOOOOOOooooookay, just to you guys
(both at the same time)
Cartman – I'm in love with that
Wendy – I want to be his
Both – Hoe
(finish song)
(side by side shot, Cartman and Wendy look at their friends)
Cartman and Wendy – If you tell anyone about this, you are fucking dead
(Cartman takes another shot of whisky, fadeout)