Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.
This is my first fanfiction, so please keep reviews constructive. Thanks!
Moose. Sasquatch. Boy King. Sam Winchester has been called many names over the years, but there is one he wished would go away. Sammy.
Sam didn't always hate the name Sammy. Just the opposite. Sam used to love it when Dean would say "Hey Sammy." Back when they were kids, hearing "Sammy" called was like a warm hug.
"Sammy! We're back!" Dean called as he walked through the door after a victorious hunt. Sam ran up to his brother, ignoring the stench of his unwashed body, and leaped into his arms. "Dean!"
Hearing "Sammy" reminds Sam of his childhood, but he'd rather not dwell on his past. Family bonding was researching, learning how to use weapons, or sparring. Family conversations were yelling matches between Sam and his father. But the worst was sitting up late at night, wondering if the hunt his dad and brother were on was their last.
The clock struck one as Sam sat on the couch, unable to rest. He couldn't shake the feeling of dread building in his stomach. Dean had promised it would be an easy hunt, just decapitate a few vamps and they'd be home before he knew it. As Sam glanced again at the clock, he remembered the fight he and his dad got into right before he and dean left. Guilt joined dread as Sam wondered if the last thing he ever told his dad was "I hate you!" Sam stared at the door, willing his dad and brother to get home safely.
In the past, Dean would soothe Sam's nightmares by whispering "It's okay Sammy, I've got you." After a hunt, Dean would run up to Sam, scoop him up in his arms and say "Sammy! Boy, have I missed you!" Back then, Sam took comfort from the childhood nickname.
Things changed.
When Sam went to Stanford, his connection with his family was cut. Dean never called, and neither did Sam. As time went on, Sam made new friends, people who treated him with respect and made him feel loved. Sam was no longer the little kid who needed protection. Sam was the college student with straight A's, dating the love of his life, and surrounded by people who appreciated him, something he missed at home.
When Dean visited Sam at Stanford, he called Sam "Sammy." Sam told him he goes by "Sam." The love that used to lace his nickname was gone, severed when Sam and Dean quit talking. It had been too long, they were out of sync. Over time, Sam and Dean would get closer. The nickname would once again have its significance. Sam would allow Dean, and only Dean, to call him "Sammy."
"Sammy" got in the way. Sam is a productive member of the team. "Sammy" was little and weak. Sam is tall, strong, and can hold his own.
Sam did not want to be reminded of who he was; he wanted to be seen as the man he has become.