Emma was sitting in a booth at Granny's nursing a cold beer and staring at her reflection in the window. Raindrops were starting to fall and a distant thunder was heard. It was Friday night and that means date night for Emma and Regina. Henry was with her parents and they were free to enjoy a night together. Well they would be if Regina hadn't been late, again.
Emma thought to their beginning it was hard but Emma thought it worth it. The secret sex in Regina's office or at the station, lustful looks at city councils and subtle glances at each other on the street. Eventually it was not enough and they decided that they should tell Henry and Emma's parents they are dating. Henry took it well, Emma's parents were confused, angry, hurt and then protective. It took a long time but at last they decided to let their past go.
The town was surprised and some people weren't happy but even they were pretty quiet now. Everyone was used to seeing Emma and Regina together. But Emma still had this feeling deep inside which she could not name. It was this cold that could not be extinguished, longing that could not be sated. For some time she could not identify what that feeling was, till today. She was patrolling in her car near the park. Since it was nice she decided to walk for a while. The weather was quite warm for a spring day and the sun was shining. It was late afternoon and people were out with their families. Then it hit her, the longing. She wanted to hold someone's hand, to peck someone's cheek, to hug and be hugged and watch TV snuggled with someone. And she so wanted that someone be Regina.
Just today she realized that Regina was never intimate or affectionate with her. There was sex of course and it was great and always satisfying. But as she thought about it they never hugged or hold hands. They kissed but merely when they were about to go to bed. Emma was always the one that initiated the make out sessions. She was the one that wanted to tell their family and go public with their relationship. She was the one that made surprise romantic dinners at home. She was the one that would bring both their lunches so they could eat together.
It hit her hard, she was always chasing after Regina, trying to be romantic and intimate, but it never was. Then she thought about their sex life. It was always full of passion with intense orgasms but not once had they made love. Every time Emma wanted to slow down and just feel and enjoy the moment Regina always turned it around and made her forget about it. Regina was always on top, always dictating every move, every position just about everything. There was not one time that she would let Emma touch her any other way than she wanted.
Since this afternoon's revelation Emma could not think, could not work or talk to anyone. She was just incredibly sad. But after a few hours of brooding she decided that tonight will be different, tonight they will finally be intimate in a way that she longed for so much and so long.
So here she was, alone in a booth at Granny's staring from the window and waiting for the love of her life that was thirty five minutes late. She didn't even notice when Regina walked in the diner till she sat at her table.
"Sorry I am late, those bureaucrats will destroy me. Did you already order or should I?"
"Sure, you can order." Emma replied evenly when she looked at the brunette.
"Are you OK, did something happen?"
"No everything's fine, just a little tired I guess."
"Alright then, what do you want to order? Let me guess burger and another beer?"
"Yeah, thanks." Emma decided then that she should start with her plan so she smiled and covered Regina's hand with her own.
The brunette barely acknowledged the touch and raised the hand to wave at Ruby to call her to the table. She didn't see Emma's smile drop and the brief flash of hurt across her eyes. She ordered their meal and asked about Henry and some town things throughout the dinner.
Emma for her part tried to touch Regina in some way, to steer their conversation to family outings and movie nights but was unsuccessful and after the meal she just stopped. They paid for their meal and walked home. If the Mayor noticed Emma's unusual quietness she didn't react to it and proceeded their evening like usual. They went home and had a glass of cider and watched a movie (another failed attempt at snuggling). And then they decided to go to bed.
After their night routine they laid in their bed and Emma decided to kiss the brunette and wanted to make love to her. So she turned and kissed her, slowly turning Regina on her back. Their kiss was getting too heated for Emma's plans and she purposefully slowed things down and caressed Regina's skin with her hands. Regina struggled and tried to dominate the kiss but was unsuccessful, till she flipped them over and started to knead Emma's breasts. Teeth started to nip at her lip and her skin and soon Emma was so turned on she almost forgot what she wanted to do. That was before Regina started to touch her center with fingers and bit at her neck. The slight pain made her open her eyes and stop moving.
Regina immediately felt the shift and looked at Emma questioningly. "Did you not want my fingers? Should I bring your favorite toy?" She asked seductively and resumed her movements.
Emma was still quiet and even Regina could feel that she was not enjoying her advances at all. "What's wrong? You don't want to have sex? I don't mind but I thought you wanted to."
"Finally after the whole evening you decided to question what's wrong and it's just because I didn't respond to your touch. Did you even notice anything or did you think everything was normal tonight?"
Regina sat up confused and looked at her lover. "I don't understand, what's happening?"
"What's happening is that I realized I never get to touch you, I never get to snuggle or hug you or just kiss you because I want. Everything we do together is decided by you and I don't even have a say. The whole night I was trying to be intimate with you. But every time I tried you pulled away. Even now, I wanted to make love to you. I wanted to cherish your body and enjoy exploring you slowly and lovingly. But as always you just pulled away and decided to have it your way." With every word Emma was closer and closer to tears and finally one slipped away.
Regina just stared at her. "You are just exaggerating. You know that I don't like to show my feelings to others and about our sex you always enjoy it this way."
"I wasn't asking for a make out session in the middle of Granny's I just wanted to feel like we are on an actual date not a business dinner. Tonight I just wanted to feel like I matter, like I am loved the same way I love you. But I guess I just don't, I never did, why should this be different. And yeah the sex is great but it's just that ... sex. I want to make love to you and vice versa not just chase an orgasm and scratch an itch. Is that so much to ask? Is it really too much to ask?"
"Emma you know I love you ..." Regina tried to placate the almost sobbing blonde.
"Do I? When was the last time you kissed me just because you could? When was the last time you actually talked to me about our family? Or when was the last time you actually showed up on our date on time? Do you even know?" After the quiet shake of Regina's head Emma continued. "Never. I am always the one that tries. I try to touch you, I try to snuggle with you, I am the one that tries all the time. But not once have you made an attempt to make me feel loved and appreciated. Not once, Regina. Do you even really love me or is it just playing family with benefits for you?"
"Emma that's not true. I do love you."
"Well after tonight I am done trying. I spent my whole life trying to change myself and fit somewhere, have a home. But I am done. If you really love me, you have to try to show me. I cannot continue like this. So as of tonight I am sleeping in the guest bedroom. If you want lunch buy it. If you want morning breakfasts make them." Emma stopped at the blank look on Regina's face. "I love you Regina with my whole heart but I just want to feel something from you other than lust. When you're ready I'm here. You are my true love" at that Regina's head snapped up and she looked at Emma questioningly "and I am not walking away or moving on. I am waiting for you to realize what you really want. When you figure it out and are ready to talk I'm here." with that she took her phone and her pillow and walked away, leaving Regina stunned.