Hello my friends! I am so, so sorry for being MIA for so long! It's been almost three months (say what?!) since I last posted a chapter (from my post-7x20 fic) and I really hate myself for that. It's just that junior year is killing me. Literally. I have so many tests it's not funny and then I have work and homework for other classes and I have to keep myself sane so I have to set priorities and for me that are 'real-life things'. I'm sorry, I hope you understand.
Today, however, I did want to post. Because today it's November 6th. Or as we all know it: SPOBY'S ANNIVERSARY! I am literally so excited, I'll be rewatching episode 1x19 very soon hahaha ;)! (did you actually notice that my username is 'prettylittlefangirl119' because that's the episode with the first spoby kiss? haha, bet you didn't!) But anyway, my smol beans deserved so much more! I feel like the world is lacking in Spoby fanfics so I really wanted to post this one asap, and here it is! I can't promise to upload regularly or any time soon, you know, considering I should actually be studying right now... oops! I really hope you enjoy this story as much as I love writing it, so here goes! This chapter doesn't have a lot of Spoby interaction, but I had to write the backstory because A doesn't exist etc, but I wanted Ali to be gone and the Jenna situation in the story, and otherwise y'all would be very confused I guess. SO, that's enough of me talking. On with the story! Have fun, my fellow Spobias-lovers! And don't forget to watch all those amazing Spoby scenes today!
"I'm not surprised. Not everything lasts. I've broken my heart so many times I've stopped keepin' track."
Spencer Hastings adjusted her headphones. Michael Bublé. She had never been one for cheesy love songs, but this one had always stuck out to her. Even though the melody gave her a feeling of Christmas – a holiday she'd never liked – it made her feel at ease, it gave her a little explosion of butterflies dancing around in her stomach. It made her – and she hated to admit – it made her hope for an amazing, sweet, loving and caring boyfriend. Someone who took her for who she was, who didn't care about her mistakes, her problems. Someone who didn't care about the family she grew up in – one that always had to be perfect, one that always had to get everything as big and as bright as possible.
"Talk myself in. Talk myself out. I get all worked up then I let myself down."
Deep down, she'd always have this little, very tiny splinter of hope for that one person, that one person who'd love her endlessly, unconditionally. She'd never known that kind of love. It was as if her parents didn't see her without some kind of accomplishment. To get her parents to notice her – which was very difficult growing up next to Melissa, her 'little-miss-perfect', 'class president', 'national-spelling-contest-winner', 'champion-at-everything' sister, who always seemed to be one step above her – she had to be perfect. She needed perfect grades, perfect golden medals. It sucked up all of her energy, because Melissa being older made this feeling grow even bigger at school, where all the teachers expected the exact same grades from her as Melissa.
"I tried so very hard not to lose it. I came up with a million excuses. I thought I thought of every possibility."
She got a brief break from all that when she became friends with Aria Montgomery, Hanna Marin and Emily Fields. The four girls bonded fast and shared secrets, laughter and many sleepovers. But the reason of their friendship was Alison DiLaurentis, and with her, the need to be perfect was just as prominent and important as the one at home – maybe even worse. Because competing with Ali was like competing with the devil. Ali was the most popular girl at school, she always got everything she wanted from her parents and most importantly: she was Alison. And Alison was mean, but she was also sweet, an amazing friend. She made you feel special, important, recognized. She was your best friend, but also your worst enemy. She would make snarky comments about your insecurities, she would threaten to tell your darkest secrets just make you do something, and she would never take no for an answer.
And for Spencer – competitiveness running in her veins, always taught there was no option other than winning – this was even worse than for the other girls, because Spencer always had to win. And she hated that characteristic so much herself, but it was part of her DNA. She couldn't change it. And as much as Spencer loved Ali, she also hated her for being better than Spencer. Sometimes it had gotten so out of hand, that Spencer wished Ali would just disappear for good.
And that was exactly had happened: Ali had disappeared. Two years ago, on Labour Day weekend, on the last weekend of summer before Sophomore year, the five girls held a sleepover at the Hastings' barn. Despite the heavy thunderstorm, it was all fun and games – that was until Spencer woke up in the middle of the night only to realize that there were just four girls in the barn: Aria, Hanna, Emily and herself. 'Of course,' Spencer sighed. Ali probably knew a cooler way to spend her night and had ditched the girls the second they fell asleep. But after a few minutes, Spencer couldn't help but feel that something was wrong. 'This sleepover was everything we talked about for weeks. Why would Ali go away?' She thought. So, Spencer got up. She went outside and started to walk around in the backyard. "Ali? Ali, where are you?" "Aaaah!" Spencer heard a high-pitched scream, not sure where exactly it came from. "Ali?!" Spencer yelled. Silence. "Ali?!" She heard the girls wake up in the barn, talking to each other. So Spencer went back, not sure what to do. "Ali?" Aria asked. "She's gone," Spencer said. "What do you mean 'she's gone'?" "I've looked everywhere for her. I think I heard her scream."
That was the start of Spencer's worst nightmare. The girls just all went home because it felt weird without Ali, thinking that Ali probably went to some party with older and much cooler people. But the next day, they all were called by Mrs DiLaurentis, Ali's mom. They all told her that they didn't know exactly where Ali was, but that she was probably hanging out with some girls from field hockey. But, she wasn't. That night at the barn was the last time anybody saw Ali. They were the last people to see Ali alive. Ali went missing and around the same time a year later, the police found Ali's body. In her own backyard, for God's sake. She'd been right there the whole time.
The girls had grown closer and closer ever since. But Spencer also was lonelier than ever, because at the House of Hastings there was no place for weakness. That's why Spencer loved to go running. There was nothing else than just the music, no drama, no missing friends. She'd always go for a run when she needed to clear her head, and today was no different because today was no other day than Labour Day – exactly two years since the horrible night Ali went missing.
"And I know someday that it'll all turn up. You'll make me work so we can work to work it out. And I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I get yeah, I just haven't met you yet."
Rosewood Lookout Point was her go-to spot. She'd look over Rosewood and she'd calm down. She didn't know what it was, but up there, Rosewood was just a town. A town where nothing had happened. And today, Spencer really needed Rosewood to just be a town.
"Karlos! Come here, boy!" For Toby Cavanaugh, it was kind of a weird day. It was the start of his new life. He'd just gotten the keys to his new loft, right above a coffee shop called 'The Rear Window Brew'. He had come to Rosewood to start over on his own. He wanted to get into carpentry but because he first had to finish high school, he decided he wanted to get his GED. He would start at Rosewood High in a few days, but he hopes to be out of there by the end of November. But that was Monday, and Monday wasn't here yet. Now he was just walking his dog. Karlos was old, but Toby nevertheless wanted to walk to Rosewood's Lookout Point, trying to let all of the events of the day dwell down upon him.
Toby was so ready for a fresh start. After everything that happened, he had to get out of his house. The mess started when his mother was diagnosed with a mental illness and was sent to a mental hospital. This was very hard for Toby, because his mother and he had always been very close, so when she was taken away from him and he was left alone with his father, he didn't really know what to do. His father had never expressed his love towards Toby, so he sure that his father didn't care about him.
It all got so much worse when his mother died. It was so abrupt, so sudden. At first, he couldn't believe it – he didn't want to believe it. "She didn't even say goodbye!" He had cried out. And his father just stood there, awkwardly, unsure what to say or do to comfort his child. He and Toby had very different ways of coping with the enormous loss. Toby was going through a lot of grief. He couldn't stop crying and locked himself in his bedroom for many days in a row. He was sure his father had forgotten about him. And it really felt like he had, because within a year, his father started dating this woman who was nothing like his mother. She wasn't sweet, she wasn't caring and loving, and she didn't care about Toby either. The only thing she cared about was her daughter Jenna. It was as if his father had completely forgotten about him or his late wife. And it only got worse when Jenna and her mother moved in with them. When Jenna started doing...
Toby shrugged the thought off. No. He couldn't think about that anymore. That was in the past. It had happened, and it would never happen again. "Yeah, good boy, Karlos. Good boy." Toby petted his old Golden Retriever. He loved Karlos so much. When his mother was still around, Toby was around ten years old, and she came home with this little puppy. "Look at this boy! He's all hurt." She'd found him under a dumpster, took him home to take care of the little dog and refused to send him to an animal shelter, like Toby's father had demanded. Toby had helped her, and together they had cared for and loved the dog so much until the day he got better and never stopped after that. It was the last thing he had that held a connection to his mom. His father had thrown out all of her stuff almost immediately when she died. It had hurt Toby so much to see him dump all her clothes and belongings in the trash. His father didn't want to keep Karlos either, but Toby had stated that 'if Karlos had to go, I'll go with him'. And much to Toby's surprise, his father had chosen to keep them.
Toby was very happy to finally get out of that house. Living there was a nightmare and now he got out of it he felt as if he could breathe again for the first time in a very long time. He just wanted to have a normal life.
"Oh, I might have to wait. I'll never give up. I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck."
Ah, Spencer could already see the top of the hill on which Lookout Point was located. She was the only one out there, for as far as she could tell. 'Nice' she sighed. She really needed to be alone today.
"Wherever you are. Whenever it's right. You'll come out of nowhere and into my life."
Spencer was so lost in her own thoughts, that she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings. Suddenly, she bumped into someone and fell on her back.
"Woah, are you okay? I'm so sorry!" A soft voice said.
When she looked up, she found two amazingly blue eyes staring right into hers. She felt a blush coming up immediately.
"And I know that we can be so amazing."
"Uh, yeah... I guess... I..." She cleared her throat. 'Focus Spence, don't make yourself look like an idiot.' "I'm sorry. I wasn't really paying attention as to where I was walking."
"And baby your love is gonna change me."
"It's okay, I didn't see you either. You see, my dog here is very, very slow." He chuckled.
"And now I can see every possibility."
"Ah, what a cutie! What's his name?" She asked, already forgotten that she fell.
"And somehow I know that it'll all turn up"
"This is Karlos." He beamed with pride.
"Hi Karlos, my name is Spencer. Nice to meet you!" She joked.
"And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out."
"Hi Spencer, my name is Toby. Nice to meet you!" The boy joked, reaching out his hand.
"Hi, Toby." Spencer shook his hands, suddenly very nervous.
"And I promise you, kid, I'll give so much more than I get."
He helped her up, and now that she was standing face to face with him, she could she – aside from those amazing eyes – how cute and very handsome he actually was. She caught herself staring and immediately turned her eyes to the ground. She had never felt this was before, so nervous, so unsure what to do. She could only think of one thing: getting out. "Uh, I actually have to go.. I'm sorry. Bye" And then she took off.
"I just haven't met you yet.."