Hey guys! I'd just like to say thank you to everyone that has reviewed my previous stories. It means a lot to me.
I got the idea for this story from Shrek. Enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with WWE or the song from Shrek.
Wade Barrett travelled through blistering winds and scorching deserts. He fought the dragon guarding the tower, and climbed twenty flights of stairs to get to the highest room in the tallest tower. All, to reach the princess that awaited him. With a victorious grin, he pulled the curtain back that was surrounding the bed. Looking at the face, he gasped. "Princess?"
"Are you questioning my masculinity?"
"Heath?"
"Duh! I was trying to sleep!"
Wade's cheeks went red. "You mean to say, I got sun burnt, climbed 20 flights of god forsaken stairs, fought a fire breathing dragon that nearly killed me, and got the worst case of chafing on my thighs, just to find YOU in the bed that should contain my princess?"
"You actually climbed twenty flights of stairs?" Heath asked chuckling.
"Yes, you bafoon, how else was I meant to reach the highest room in the tallest tower?"
"You could have used the elevator."
Wade looked back towards the door he came through and saw an elevator right next to it. "Dammit..." he muttered angrily.
"Where..is..the..princess?"
"The princess left days ago."
"Why?"
"She was tired of waiting for your fat ass to get here."
"My arse is not fat!" Wade pulled the back of his shirt down a bit further. "How do you know that the princess left?"
"She told me..."
"What do you mean she told you? Why are you even here? You know what..Just get the fuck out of this tower and go home now." Wade ordered, pointing to the door.
"Sheesh..No need to be violent."
Wade watched as Heath casually walked towards the elevator and left. Sorrowfully, he walked towards the tower window and looked outside. Heath was already crossing the rope bridge, happily waving to the dragon. The dragon flapped his wings excitedly at Heath in reply.
This insensed Wade. "What! That nitwitted dragon lets him pass freely?" He kicked the wall angrily. "Ow! Damn that hurt.." He sat down sadly on the bed. "No princess, no happily ever after, no fairytale ending." A tear fell from Wade's eye.
Your fallen tears have called to me
So, here comes my sweet remedy
I know what every princess needs
For her to live life happily...
Wade gasped as an explosion of fairy dust consumed the room.
"Damn! I told them to stop using the fairy dust. That stuff really gets to the eye's and throat." A South African accent rang through Wade's ears.
"Justin?"
"Woah...My, my, aren't you all grown up and...WADE?" Justin's eye's widened at the sight of his friend.
Wade looked Justin up and down. He was wearing a pair of glittery purple mini shorts and had a pair of fairy wings on. "Justin...What are you wearing?"
"It was the last costume left, okay. Don't judge me." Justin grinned sarcastically as he held up his wand.
"Right...What are you doing here?"
"Well, my fairy god mother moniter instructed me to come here..and since I was expecting the princess..this is kind of awkward.."
Wade let out a hearty chuckle. "You're a fairy god mother?" He was now rolling around clutching his stomach.
Justin glared at Wade angrily. "Everyone has to earn a living okay. Just tell me your problems so I can get this over with.."
Wade's face suddenly turned serious. "I travelled through blistering winds and scorching deserts, got sunburnt, got chafing, climbed 20 flights of stairs to reach the tallest room of the tallest tower, just to find Heath in the bed that should contain the woman of my dreams, my true love..."
Justin had a dumbfounded look on his face. "God you complain a lot."
"You're meant to be helping me!"
"Oh yeah, sorry about that. This song supposedly makes it all better." Justin stood in front of Wade and cleared his throat.
With just a...
Wave of my magic wand
Your troubles will soon be gone
With a flick of the wrist and just a flash
You'll land a prince with a ton of cash
A high-priced dress
made by mice no less
Some crystal glass pumps
And no more stress
Your worries will vanish,
your soul will cleanse
Confide in your very own
furniture friends
We'll help you set a new fashion trend!
Wade continued to watch as Justin twirled around the room.
I'll make you fancy, I'll make you great
The kind of girl a prince would date!
They'll write your name
on the bathroom wall...
"For a happy ever after,
give Wade a call!"
A sporty carriage to ride in style,
Sexy man boy chauffeur, Kyle
Banish your blemishes, tooth decay,
Cellulite thighs will fade away
And oh, what the hey!
Have a bichon frisé! '
Nip and tuck, here and there
to land that prince with the perfect hair
Lipstick liners, shadows blush
To get that prince with the sexy tush
Lucky day, hunk buffet
You and your prince take a roll in the hay
You can spoon on the moon
With the prince to the tune
Don't be drab, you'll be fab
Your prince will have rock-hard abs
Cheese soufflé, Valentine's Day
Have some chicken fricassee!
Nip and tuck, here and there
To land that prince with the perfect hair
"Stop!"
Wade's voice startled Justin and he abruptly turned to look at Wade like a deer caught in headlights.
"What?"
"First of all, did you have to refer to me as a girl?"
"We generally don't sing the song for guys.." Justin muttered although Wade cut him off.
"Secondly, I do not want this Kyle man boy you speak off."
"He doesn't want you either." Justin replied looking rather offended.
Wade started again not even registering that Justin spoke. "Thirdly, what the hell is a man boy? Is it a man? Or a boy? I don't get it.."
"Puberty is a natural thing.."
"However I must say, I would like to look into the cellulite thing."
Silence overwhelmed the tower room, quickly being replaced by awkwardness.
"Um... Do you just practise that song over and over until you've learnt it off by heart?" Wade asked breaking the ice.
"Pretty much."
2 minutes of silence later.
"So...what's your favourite ice-cream flavour?" Justin asked innocently.
"We live in the same house. You should know."
"Well sorry then for trying to be polite."
1 minute of silence later.
"Do you feel better now?"
"Funnily enough, yes, but I still didn't get my princess..." Wade looked down sadly.
A seductive growl came from the direction of the door. Justin and Wade both looked to see the dragon..smiling?
"Looks like you do get your fairy tale ending after all Wade." Justin said with a grin.
Wade just groaned dramatically as Justin walked over to the middle of the room. Smiling, Justin said "Damn I'm good at this job." He flicked his wand causing an explosion of fairy dust.
After a coughing fit from Wade, the room cleared and it was just Wade and the dragon.
"Looks like it's only us two now.." Wade said cautiously.
The dragon let out a puff of smoke. Thinking for a few moments, Wade stood up. "Ah..What the hell, may as well make the most of it."
Wade walked over to the dragon and hopped on it's back, ready to fly away to live happily ever after.
Read and Review! Please? :)
By the way guys, is there anyone in particular that you would like to see a fanfic about? I need someone new to write about since my Barrett muse is getting disturbing.
PEACExx