"Go take a fucking shower, un."
Tobi thought these must have been Deidara's favorite words; he was only screaming them at him every five minutes. It didn't matter where they were, what they were doing, or who they were with, it was always the same. There was nothing different about it.
"B-but Deidara Sem-"
"Don't 'Deidara Sempai' me, un. Just do it." The blonde put one hand on his hip and looked sternly at his partner. "You're not getting one inch further until you take a shower, so do it now, un."
Tobi sighed; begging to his shirtless mentor wouldn't help it this time. It angered him a little that their favorite and most heated argument was about something so small, something so incredibly obscure that only Deidara would notice it, and he was only growing more and more concerned with it every time the blonde brought it up. Two simple things could have never meant more to a single person in all the world.
Smell.
…and taste.
The second one was what confused Tobi the most. Deidara was temperamental to say the least, but it pained Tobi to even consider how his Sempai knew such things.
Deidara sat back down on the bed in their cheap hotel room and crossed his legs, refusing to take that last step until he was totally satisfied with what they were doing. "Hurry it up, un." He tapped his foot impatiently.
"…h-hai, Deidara." Tobi sulked in defeat to the bathroom, pulling the door shut with a soft 'click' behind him. He turned to the shower and twisted the hot water faucet. His own 'personal' soap was already set out on the counter; he knew this was gonna happen again. After peeling off what little clothing he still had on, he was in the shower, washing every bit of skin he could reach.
He would never say it, but it was the times like these that made him dislike Kakuzu. Dislike, but not hate, it could never be hate. Zetsu san had always taught him that hating people was wrong, but he found it a little more than just difficult on these occasions. This was all his fault after all.
At first, Tobi was unsure why Deidara had him constantly showering all the time, but he asked around one day and Kisame told him; Kisame was always nice to him. When Tobi's curiosity got the better of him, and the result wasn't a pissed Deidara and/or himself in a coma, Kisame was the one to talk to. He told Tobi that the reason Deidara was always pushing him away was Kakuzu's cheapskate tactics.
Tobi closed his eyes and let the scalding water wash over him as he remembered.
He had never understood Kisame's reasoning until he had finally gotten the initiative to investigate it on his own. What he found was what anyone but Tobi would have expected; all of his 'new' things were Sasori's. Every cloak was one of Sasori's that had been readjusted to suit his height, his mattress was fitted with Sasori's sheets, he slept on Sasori's pillows, and he was starting to wonder if his toothbrush was a hand-me-down as well.
He sighed once more and reached around the shower curtain to put the soap back on the counter. Washing his hair came next, and he had to take his time; if he didn't, Deidara would either make him do it all over again or just let their 'intimate moment' die.
Deidara…
It worried him. It really, really did. How did his Sempai know what Sasori smelt like? What he tasted like? Why did he care so much? Deidara was an adult, he was allowed his privacy with others, his pasts, his intimacy; Tobi knew that. He wasn't one to intrude, but knowing what Deidara did with Sasori made him question his own value to the blonde. Love was a strong word to most people, but it was unclear on whether or not Deidara one of them to Tobi.
He had loved Deidara for as long as he'd known the man, and he had to say that it was the most confusing relationship (if it could be called that) he had ever been a part of. Granted, to the best of his knowledge, Tobi had never been someone's lover, and technically, he still wasn't. He and Deidara had hugged, kissed, made out, and fallen asleep in each other's arms (the last of which being before they were whatever they were now), but they had never…Tobi sighed.
He could briefly recall Zetsu touching on the subject, but never actually telling him the whole truth. Besides that, Tobi doubted that 'love-making' had anything to do with birds or bees. He shuddered to think that Zetsu would have lied to him though.
Tobi had mixed opinions about the entire thing. He got the general idea, but no one would tell him, not even the talkative Kisame would shed a ray of light on to Tobi's dim take on the matter. Well, Tobi thought, there may have been a ray, but only one. One day in Leader's office, before he and Deidara were… 'together'…Kisame had made a joke about Deidara. He would have smacked the blue man for it if he knew what it meant, but all he could really gather from the statement was that Deidara already knew how to 'work someone over' and he was prone to just 'sit there and take it, but not like a man', whatever that meant. The only reason he linked it to what Zetsu had said was when he had tried to ask why everyone was laughing and correct the shark by telling him that Deidara never 'sat there and took it' when he messed with him, Deidara turned all red, reached underneath Tobi's mask, and clamped his hand tight over his mouth. Tobi chuckled.
That was their first kiss.
…which, of course, earned more laughs from the rest of the crew, but then Leader came in and spoiled all the fun. He had said something, but Tobi hadn't been listening (as usual); he was far too lost in the sheer bliss of his first kiss, even if it was from a hand-mouth. He wasn't one to complain though, as long as it was with Deidara, he was more than happy to be a part of it.
The bathroom got a little colder for a few seconds and Tobi shivered in his own skin; the cheap hotel Kakuzu set them up in for their mission must've had terrible ventilation. With an odd 'click' sound, the warmth soon returned and Tobi sighed with contentment.
Feelings of contentment were soon dismissed, though. Tobi remembered that he was taking to long and making his Sempai wait on him, which was bad. He reached around the curtain again so he could do one more round with the soap, but it was gone.
"…huh?" Tobi stepped forward reached for it again, and his hand met a dry, slender, delicate hand, placed over his bar of soap.
"W-what the-"
"Move over, un. I don't like the taste of soap."
...would anyone like to guess what Deidara DOES like the taste of? I'll give you a hint. It starts with 'P'.
XD, I lurves DeiTobi so much, I finally wrote something for them. I don't even know where it came from. Just random bits of awesome, I guess.
I'm so evil, you don't even know it. XD