Chapter One

A New Me

I took a deep breath as I dragged myself out of the rented removal truck. My legs didn't seem to want to agree with me as I tried to pull myself together. My head throbbed, maybe those drinks last night weren't such a good idea...I just needed something extra to help me sleep.

I stumbled but caught myself, annoyed for being so weak. Ergh, my body was a lot stronger a few weeks ago, but I had stopped running and I had let things slide. I just didn't have the energy anymore. I felt more alone than ever, my brother (my only real connection to this miserable town) was away on business. And despite my fathers incessant nagging I wasn't going to go live with him. Whether I had to live in a poor area or not NOTHING was worth living with him...I remember the pain when I did...the screaming...

I shook my head, trying to knock those thoughts out of my head as I walked around the van to look at my new little house.

It definitely needed work, the garden was more than overgrown, several of the windows broken and roof tiles missing as well as broken fences. Although strangely enough it looked at home; the houses either side of it not looking immediately different. I sighed reaching the gate and fumbling with the latch. After a loud creak it fell from it's hinges and hit the ground with a thud. I picked it up clumsily and pushed it to one side and pushed through the overgrown grass as I made my way up to the front door.

I pulled out the keys I had got from the estate agent and unlocked the front door, pushing it open with a thud. At least that didn't fall on it's hinges. The inside was a drastic improvement on the outside, which is why I had bought it. The kitchen, although in need of a thorough clean was bright and airy, the open plan living room attached to it was covered with a thick musty carpet, but underneath was a beautiful wooden floor. The wallpaper was in desperate need of re-papering. It didn't look like much at all, but it was all mine. I smiled to myself, scraping together every penny for the deposit had been more than worthwhile. I had something I had earned, without one shred of help from anyone... I walked through the room to the two small bedrooms. I was hoping to tear down the wall to make one large one, but if my brother was going to stay, perhaps two smaller rooms would be beneficial.

I shook my head, getting ahead of myself as usual. First thing is first, I was going to move all my stuff in. I heard a honk of the horn as the removal guys arrived in the other van.

Get to work, I told myself. This is the start of your new life. No more pain, all this is for you. Do something for yourself for once...I was brought out of my daydream as I heard the removal men argue amongst themselves, I stomped outside without a second thought as I took hold of the situation.

It had taken three hours to get everything off the two trucks and into my new house. (I liked the sound of that...MY house). The removal men were utterly useless, each man was significantly older and overweight which made each trip they did slower and slower. I half thought that one was going to keel over at one point. Nonetheless I had paid for their services and by god I was getting why I had paid for. I was annoyed nonetheless, and had been very short with them. I had also given them a short lecture about satisfying clients and empty promises at one point...

Yeah, I definately got carried away and had a massive rant. I do get really annoyed bey easily. A short temper you might say. Who hires big fat old men for house moving...me...anyway, we got it all in! That's the main thing, sure the men walked away calling me every name under the sun but did I care?...would I feel terrible about it later on and regret saying such harsh things?...would I torture myself replaying their sweaty faces over and over in my head over the next few weeks?...yes is the answer.

I was a bitch, but I did have a conscience.

Over the next few days I worked hard to bring the place up to my high standards. I steam cleaned the kitchen, finding a dead mouse in one of the cupboards. I pulled up the carpet and waxed the wooden floorboards, I boarded up the broken window pains. I'd have to wait to save up a few pay cheques before I could replace those. I would do it myself but I had no idea what goes where. I found out late one night that the roof leaks. Luckily it didn't rain much in Tulsa, but when it did I had buckets at the ready for now. At least until I could find a cheap roofer, if one did exist.

Throughout my week of work I didn't see much of the outside world, pleased to spend some time to myself and some peace and quiet I didn't leave the house. I wasn't bothered about the gardening and what the house looked like front the outside. My mother had been all about appearances and what the neighbours thought. I couldn't give a two hoots about what people thought. I had done all of this for me. And I was NEVER giving that up!

I returned to work on the Monday, noticing for the first time a handsome young man across the street wearing a tool belt carrying some planks of wood to his truck. I had to pull myself together so he didn't catch me staring at him. To say he was handsome was an understatement. He was the kind of attractive that you see in magazines. Despite his handsome face, his jaw was set as if he was annoyed about something. His hair neatly gelled to one side, which was the fashion these days. I hadn't admired it much before...but I certainly did now.

His face was one thing but his body...that certainly was another. He had wide broad shoulders, and thick muscles that surrounded them, curving down over his arms and bulging through his tight tshirt. I smirked to myself, turning towards my car and dragging my eyes away. I almost laughed at how attractive he was. I sat in the front seat of my car, adjusting my rear view mirror so that it caught him.

He was completely oblivious to my stares, returning back into his house to collect a box of tools before he lifted them into the back if his truck. They must of been heavy as his tight shirt rode up as he lifted them showing his ripped stomach. The two lines of his hips prominently leading downwards behind his jeans...i closed my eyes as I sunk into my seat loathing myself. How long had it been?...a VERY long time.

I had been in a terrible relationship, sucked into the rich lifestyle through my father at a young age. Brett, who I had met at a beer bash party, was a fowl human being. At the time I hated myself and everything about my life. I longed to feel something; anything...and Brett had something that the other girls wanted. I didn't understand what it was, or what they saw in him, but it was enough for me to go there...what a mistake that was.

I huffed angrily, putting my keys in the ignition. 'Yeah,' I told myself, 'that's what you need. A man in your life, messing everything up.'

Ergh, I sighed, my eyes automatically flicking back up to the mirror to catch one last look at the man just before he got into the front seat of his truck. I cringed at myself as I started the engine and made my way towards work.