Keep on

Here's my actual first H50 story.

I first started this fic when I got the idea for the story that is published as my first H50 story here (the tag for 5x18). Somehow this fic took months to be shaped the way it is today, and thank God I was able to finish it.

Title courtesy of Lunedd. Because I really need to work on my naming stories ability

Btw, the title comes from a song by The Whooliganz, "Keep on".

Tag to 2x15.

Okay, she was definitely safe and sound, sleeping in his arms. But, he couldn't help and replay the events of the day and he felt exhausted to the point he forgot his name.

At one point her mother took her from his arms, looking at him a little accusatory, because he shot her husband and then he was the main reason their daughter was kidnapped. He told her what happened, explained everything, but that wasn't enough for Rachel. She yelled at him, cursed him and said that after all of this was over she will make everything possible to get herself out of Hawai'i as fast as she could. She was big on threats. Last time she threatened him, he ended up on the other end of the States, in a place he hated so much.

That threat was the last straw that made Danny look like he was just hit by a truck with high velocity. She couldn't do this to him, Grace was the best thing that ever happened to him, given his propensity of bad luck following him around. There was always something negative happening in his life. The count of bad days was way over that of the good days.

Happiness was luxury in the life of Danny Williams and today proved that fact right.

Rachel didn't let go of her grounds and none of Danny's words were heard. All went to deaf ears. He was so petrified, so lost.

They were still at Five-0 headquarters, because Danny wanted to go there so they can make the official statements as fast as possible. He wanted to make sure no one out there was waiting to finish them off. And, Rachel insisted on it. After Gracie was checked on by the paramedics.

Grace was sound asleep in Danny's arms when Rachel took her away.

No one could watch the state Danny was in. He was emotionally broken, his tear-stained face was making him look older, and frankly everyone was wondering how would he react to all of this. He watched as Rachel marched down the hallway and out the door.

That little girl was his life, and in the state he was now, the least he needed was that threat, that he'd never get to see his daughter again.

Steve was carefully eyeing Danny as the look in his eyes turned glassy. He knew what that meant. But, now Danny needed comfort and he couldn't yell and do some of his famous McGarrett stunts that Danny liked to call him on. His hands were itching to leap the distance between his office and Danny's. He knew his partner needed space, but at the same time he wanted to just wipe all of that off Danny's mind, hug him, make him forget.

Danny did not deserve that, and Steve was seething by the time Rachel left the Five-0 headquarters with Grace in tow.

Danny took a deep breath and tried to stop the tears that were again freely streaming down his cheeks. He was tired of crying, but right now that was the only way of dealing with what was happening to him. His job, his fucking job cost him his marriage, and now it probably was going to cost him his kid. Danny was utterly spent and wanted to crawl under a blanket, go to sleep and never wake up again. Because it was too much to bear the fact that this night was probably the last time he'll see his daughter.

He took another deep breath and tried to force that thought out of his head. He'll fight with Rachel, even if it cost him all he had. Because no way Danny was gonna let Rachel get his daughter away from him, now that he finally, finally accommodated in this pineapple infested hellhole.

Danny paced in his office like a caged animal. His friend was killed. His daughter was kidnapped. And it was all his fault. Rick Peterson did all of that out of sheer revenge, he wanted Danny to pay dearly for what he lost, too, so he set himself a goal. To hurt Danny the worst way possible.

And he succeeded.

Danny was running on adrenaline the whole day, but as adrenaline dissipated, he felt dead tired. He was tired before, but this was different. This felt more like someone was pulling him down and wouldn't stop until he was down for good.

Danny could hear someone yelling, but his mind registered only a fuzzy fog if that was even possible. It came from afar, and he couldn't connect the voice with the person it belonged.

"Danno!" Steve was the first to notice Danny wasn't feeling well and crossed the distance between the offices, but stopped short in front of Danny's, unsure at how to proceed from there.

"Danny, you are scaring us all. Please say something."

Steve could see Danny stopped pacing, but was having trouble keeping himself upright. Maybe this was a good time for Steve to get inside.

There was no reaction from the blonde detective.

"I think he's definitely not well. Steve why don't you..." Chin didn't finish his sentence when a loud thump was heard.

"Danny!" Kono yelled.

Steve was charging through the door like a raging bull, crouching on the floor by Danny's side trying to wake him up.

"Danny, stay with me." Steve was tapping Danny lightly on his cheeks, but got no response.

"Don't do this to me, Danny. Wake up. Daniel!"

Chin and Kono looked at each other. This was definitely not good.

"Just hang in there for a little while, okay?" Steve whispered softly, while he cradled Danny against him. Even though he was a tough guy, he had feelings, too. And now he was dead scared.

There was no response from the detective. He just lay there, unmoving, in his partner's arms. Pale, with uneven breathing and looking more like a dead body than being unconscious.

…

Steve slept in one of the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting area. They rushed Danny to the ER late last night and after the doctors did everything there was to do for his partner he settled in the chair he woke up in.

The doctor said Danny was under a lot of duress which resulted with high blood pressure and they needed to keep him overnight to monitor his state. He promised Steve that his partner was okay, but this was necessary in the case of Danny. Why the doctor said that, he wasn't sure. He expected the doctor to explain more when he had more information. Somehow, the tone of his voice said there was more to the matter.

It took Steve a few seconds to understand where he was, but when he did, he jumped and scared the woman that slept next to him. Rachel.

What was she doing here?

"Steve, please, before you start yelling, let me tell you..."

"No! You don't get to talk to me. Not after what you said to Danny last night."

"But I..."

"I what? After all he went through the whole day, you named him words I don't even want to recall. Yes, he did shot Stan. Yes, the man that kidnapped Gracie was looking for revenge on Danny, but he was not at fault, because that man was screwed in his mind. Because of Danny there was a corrupt cop less in the New Jersey force. And you should've known that. Taking Grace like you did last night and with all the threats you made... Unbelievable!"

Rachel was listening to every single word Steve said and she knew it was the truth and that she made another mistake.

"I know I did wrong, but..."

"No 'buts', please Rachel. I'm tired of it. Just so you know Rick Pitterson was driven by a talk on the phone you two had a while back about the baby."

"Oh my God. I didn't know..."

"Well next time think before you act. And I reccomend you to start thinking of an apology for Danny, because he is too good of a man to be treated like this. I understand he made mistakes in the past, so did I... In fact I still am making miatakes. We all do. That doesn't make me a worse person that I actually am. Now, go home, sleep it off, and come again when things are clearer."

With that Steve left Rachel in the waiting area and went outside to cool off.

…

Danny felt like someone pounded on his head with a sledgehammer. The last time he felt like this was after he got divorced from Rachel and woke up with hangover the next day.

He was confused at first of his whereabouts, but when he noticed the monitor that beeped non-stop, measuring his blood pressure and heart rate, he understood he was in a hospital. But why? He wasn't sick. Not that he remembered of.

He tried to get up, but he felt so dizzy and weak that he needed to lay down on the bed.

A nurse came in the room to check him out and chirped when she saw him awake.

"Oh, Detective Williams you are awake. How do you feel?"

"Like I was hit by a freight train?"

"That's understandable. The problems with your blood pressure and the stress caused you to blackout and we had to keep you overnight to make sure everything is alright. I don't know if you know, but you have one hell of an intimidating partner out there. He was dead worried. The doctor had to physically threaten him if he disobeyed his orders."

Danny laughed at that. Steve was like a big mama bear looking after her cubs, but refused to admit it.

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes he is overreacting and stuff, but he's the best partner a haole can get."

"I'm gonna call the doctor so he can see you. And if there is not a problem at all, I think that today you will be going home."

"Thanks."

Danny exhaled as he looked through the window. The sun was making its way up to the sky, steady, but slowly. He closed his eyes for a moment recalling yesterday's events and what happened, what could've happened. Then the talk with Rachel.

…

Danny sensed the presence of the doctor, but the headache was too much so he kept his eyes closed, answered the questions the best he could and appeared as he was talking in his sleep. Steve would have a field day out of this, Danny thought, and smiled.

The doctor left, thinking he got some alien patient, because he was definitely the weirdest person he ever treated.

Few minutes after the doctor's visit he sensed another presence. That someone took a chair and faced his closed eyes trying to read his expression.

"I've heard you got all SEAL mode last night." Danny said as he slowly opened his eyes and watched the worry make its way up Steve's face.

"Damn right I was, Danny. You scared the hell out of me. You've got us all on edge. Kono freaked out last night."

"Nothing to worry about. I guess the day was too much."

"That and the pressure you endured. Are you really okay, Danny?"

"I don't know..." the detective admitted as he closed his eyes again.

"Your head hurts?"

"Mhm."

"Listen, you are a grown man and don't need me to tell you this, but yesterday wasn't your fault."

"I understand what are you trying to do Steve, but please, it was my fault. If I hadn't put Rick Peterson in jail, he wouldn't have had to come down here and threaten me with what I love the most. The most precious in my life. Not to mention he killed Dave, to make sure I wasn't warned."

"If you didn't do what you had all those years ago, your police force would've had a corrupt cop that could've easily crossed the dark side anytime, and even make you all a greater trouble than he already did. You did the right thing Danny even if you beat yourself about that now."

"I don't know..."

"What I know is that you did all you could do bring him to the authorities and to save your daughter. That's what matters to me. And Rachel shouldn't have said what she said."

"You heard?"

"Well the offices' walls aren't soundproof Danny and with her yelling I don't know how she managed not to wake up Grace."

Danny kept his silence. The mention of Grace's name put him in withdrawal mode and Steve didn't see that often with Danny. He needed to do something, anything to get him out of his funk. He headed to the door.

"Wait, where are you going?"

"A little business I need to take care of."

"What business?! Steven, if you are going to talk to Rachel about last night, I prohibit you from doing that, do you understand me? Steven!"

But McGarrett was long gone.

The talk with Steve and his abrupt leave left Danny with a flashback of last night's talk with Rachel. Suddenly Danny couldn't breathe. He was suffocating.

Danny tried to calm his breathing, which caused the machines to beep louder and a nurse came in the room, checking his vitals. She administered a sedative, which made Danny feel sleepy and minutes after Steve left his room, he was sound asleep.

…

Steven McGarrett was a determined man. He always went according to his rules and that earned him rants from Danny about how he was a Neanderthal animal and being raised by the wolves for his non-orthodox and less than by the book methods. But, he had to admit it was effective and the solved cases proved him right.

On his way to Rachel's house he thought of how he wanted to play this out. Talk to her, and take Gracie to see Danny. He needed something to feel better, and what a better way than Grace to lift his spirits.

Steve rang the bell and the door opened. He went inside and Rachel was already on the doorstep waiting for him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I come in peace. We need to talk. Without yelling and excuses. And after we are done you prepare a small bag for Gracie because she will be staying with Danny for the next couple of days. You and I both know he needs that now more than ever."

Rachel opened her mouth to retort, but it died on her lips when she saw the troubled look in Steve's eyes.

They settled on the couch.

"Danny is one of the best people I know. He is the closest I have to a best friend ever since I moved back home. You know the whole fiasco with my father's death." Rachel just nodded. "Danny loves Grace so much, you have no idea how. Well, maybe you do, but in favor of what has happened you refused to acknowledge that when you threatened him last night."

"It's his fault Grace was kidnapped, Commander."

"I beg to differ. I may be his friend, and his boss, but I think that I can see the things from a little bit of a different perspective here. Danny did what any good and honorable police officer would do. What Peterson did it's not Danny's fault. It was his twisted mind that blamed Danny for what happened to his family, his wife left him, he hadn't seen his kid in years, no ties whatsoever.

"It hurt him, and the only way he thought he'd eliminate the hurt and the pain was if he inflicted the same pain on Danny, too. And he did that. Do you have any idea how Danny must have felt when he got that first call from Rick to tell him he had his daughter?"

Rachel mouthed a small 'no' and hung her head low.

"He forced Danny to go and shoot Stan so he can save his daughter. I know more than anyone out there that yes, Danny wanted Stan out of the picture for a long time, but he is not that irrational to actually do it. It was difficult for him, too."

"Stan would have never brought something like this on Grace or me."

"Are you sure about that?" Steve said looking her in the eyes, daring her to defy him.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not my place to speak up, but don't be so sure in what you say, is all I'm saying. I'm not trying to paint Stan as the bad guy here, nor to justify Danny and what he did. But, all he ever did yesterday was fight for his daughter."

"I'm just trying to look out after my daughter, Steve."

"Well, how about you stop threatening Danny with the custody arrangements? I think he's had enough of them in the time after he moved here to Hawai'i. Let's face it Rachel, he barely even sees Gracie with the mad schedule we have. And when he does, there's just not enough time to spend with her, because the hours just fly like this."

Steve took a deep breath.

"I'm gonna say this just once, and I expect you consider it. This back and forth fight about Grace and the custody over her wouldn't do any good neither to you, nor to Danny. Do you really think your daughter needs to see her parents fight over her constantly? What message that would send to her?

"I think you should sit here and think for a while. Not asking you to make a decision at the moment, but think. In the meantime I'll go and talk to Grace, tell her about Danny and I'm gonna bring her to see him. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, yes, of course. She's been asking about him the whole morning."

Steve nodded and got upstairs to talk with his niece.

…

Danny was awake when Steve brought an overly excited Grace to see her father. He knew both of them needed the closeness now more than ever. Rachel asked to go in first to talk to Danny, and Steve had to entertain Grace while her mother and father had some time alone to settle things down.

The second Rachel got out of Danny's room Steve could see the look in her eyes, and that she made the right decision.

Grace was practically dragging Steve with her in the room, eager to see her father.

"Danno!"

"Monkey!"

Grace leaped on the bed wrapping herself over Danny, hugging him with everything she had.

"How are you Monkey?"

"I'm good, Danno. How are you?"

"I'm good, too. I was a little sick, but the doctor made me feel better. And now I have the best medicine that's out there. You."

Grace was giggling, trying to escape her father's tickling attacks. Danny was laughing with her, and Steve slowly got out the room, leaving a little privacy for the father and daughter.

…

Few hours later found Steve driving Danny home and helping him settle. It was an unspoken rule that the other will stay as long as they were needed. Right now, Danny was a little bit of quiet for Steve's liking. He tried to engage Danny in a talk, but failed.

Currently Danny was in the kitchen, sitting in one of the chairs, looking at the glass of water on the table. Steve sighed. It was now or never.

"Hey, Danny."

"Hey."

"How are you feeling, buddy?"

"Still a headache."

Steve nodded in understanding.

"Listen, Steve… Thank you."

"For what?"

"You know what!" Danny snapped, but schooled his tone quickly. "I'm sorry, it's just… I'm not used to such kindness is all."

"Well, you are way overdue for kindness, Danno. And I think it was time someone talked to Rachel and pointed out to her what all this custody and fights between her and you does to Gracie. She needs to remember her parents as the people they are, not as the monsters they become when they fight."

"I guess you are right about that."

"Can you say that one more time, so I have it on recording?" Steve teased and Danny chuckled, because, yeah he just admitted to his partner that Steve was right.

"No such thing, McGarrett."

Both partners sat in silence before Danny spoke again.

"Seriously Steve, thank you. For everything. I'm not sure if I'd be able to make it out of it without going crazy. Thanks for grounding me, for being such a support. I appreciate it."

"You are welcome, Danny. I always have your back. We all need that someone to help us out when we have our head in the butt so to speak. Just remember, no doubting yourself about this, ever again. Not your fault, Gracie is okay and safe. Just try not to be so hard on yourself."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Good. Now, where are the beers?"

…