Christina's thoughts on Will's Death...
How could she? That little brat! I hate her! I HATE HER! She went and shot will. Dumb blonde! I hate her. She killed Will. Killed him. And didn't tell me. Lied straight to me face about all this. She just shot him. I bet she was happy to. F****** divergent care for only themselves. I hate her. She's so stupid! She didn't even care! And the fact she had to tell me under the truth serum is worse. She couldn't even tell me to my face. And her boyfriend. He's an a**. I hate him just as much. He ran the simulation, he's the one that put us under, he's the one that killed Will!
And Uriah! He just keeps on supporting her. What a b*****d. I hate them all. Every. Single. One. I hate the Dauntless! All of them! They suck! they don't care that Tris is unnatural, a freak, a murderer! She murdered Will! Even if she had somehow been under the simulation, she still killed him. She could have disarmed him, ran away, but she just had to shoot back. I hate her. I hate life. I hate everything. It's so unfair. Why did this have to happen to me? Why now? Why after initiation, when we knew we could spend the rest of our lives together. I just don't understand.
I sat back on my bed and fingered the gun in my hands. I clicked the safety. On... Off... On... Off. I brought the gun up to me head, my hand shaking like mad. I can't do this... No I can. See Will. I can see Will. I begin to press down on the trigger... lightly... I can... I can do this... I press down... Nothing happens. I frown at the gun. Click open the magazine. No bullets left in my gun. Not that I need one. The pain that I feel, it's way to real. It hurts, it burns. It courses through my veins. It feels like hot metal runs through me not blood. White hot pain, not anything but it. I drop the gun to the bed and kick it away. I cry. And cry. And cry. But nothing feels better, nothing makes me any happier. I'm lost. Lost. Lost. And all that's left to say, something I never got to, was Goodbye. I love you. Forever and Always.
Short. I know. I just wanted it out there.