Finn Hudson was never really a curious person.
Curiosity would've involved him knowing secrets and gossip to be curious about. But Finn was almost always clueless. It was kind of his thing.
Noah Puckerman was a badass, Rachel Berry was a drama queen, Santana Lopez was bitch, Quinn Fabray was independent, Artie Abrams was an AV nerd, Mercedes Jones was strong-willed, Kurt Hummel was fashion-wise… Finn Hudson was clueless.
And a bad dancer, but that's not what this story's about.
This story is about one of the first times Finn was actually curious. It happened by accident too.
He was at the park, spinning a football in his hands over and over, trying to take his mind of the fact that he was girlfriendless, bestfriendless, daughterless, still searching for a way to tell his mom what had actually happened, and focusing on winning Regionals all at the same time, when he got a phone call. It was Quinn, so, after a moment of hesitation, he decided not to answer it.
Quinn, being as stubborn as she was, called another three times, and after the third time, Finn almost used his cell phone as a football and the trees in the distance as field goals, but the text message alert made him reconsider his decision.
He read it. He justified it with the reason that he can delete a text message. He can't delete an embarrassing, sobfest inducing phone call.
Finn, I know youre screening me. You packed a couple of your things with my stuff. Im staying at Pucks if you want to come get them. Pucks not home, neither am i, but the back doors open. The box is in the spare room. Q xo
He knew the 'xo' was Quinn's way of letting him know that she still loved him and that she was sorry. Again. And it was kind of a thing they did whenever they messaged each other. It didn't make him feel any better this time.
Finn didn't write back.
Distraction was the idea when he crammed himself into him mom's car, which might as well have three clowns squished in the backseat, and sang along to the radio. Katy Perry wasn't exactly his idea of good music, but the car radio was jammed and he needed to take his mind off… Everything.
When he stepped into the spare room of the Puckerman's house Quinn was referring to and found all her bags in there, Finn felt a feeling in his chest that was unfamiliar to him. If he remembered correctly, it was relief, or something like it. It certainly wasn't the anger and stress he'd been carrying around with him lately. Thinking of Puck and Quinn sleeping together once was bad enough; it's not a feeling he wanted to relive.
Although now Finn was faced with a new problem - There were two boxes in the spare room. One was poking out from under the bed, and one was mixed up with Quinn's things. And they both said FINN on the lid.
Three rounds of eenie meenie miney mo may have had an influence on his decision of which box to open, but he can deny it all he wants, curiosity is ultimately what made Finn open the box peaking out from under the bed.
He was about 90% sure that wasn't the box Quinn had wanted him to open, but it had it name on it, so he had a right to see what was in it… Right?
At first, Finn was just confused. Actually, disappointed would be a better word. He wasn't even sure what he was looking for exactly, but it was definitely not what he found.
Letters. Forty three letters, which Finn didn't know at the time, but Quinn was well aware of, and they all had the same thing printed on the front in girly handwriting:
"Finn Hudson
23 Oakmont Drive
Lima, OH 44452"
It didn't occur to Finn at first that Quinn more than likely hadn't planned on him seeing these letters, especially considering the first one was dated five months prior to the current day.
"She never sent them" Finn mumbled to himself, mostly because in all the crime shows he watched, the detectives always mumbled pointless things like that to themselves when they realized something and he'd always wanted to have a cool job like that.
Once again curiosity won over morals and Finn found himself opening the first letter.
"Dear Finn,
I don't know why I'm writing this… I probably won't even send it. But I need you to know this. I guess this is just a way for me to tell you all the things I'm too scared to say to your face.
Firstly, the baby is…"
Finn couldn't read the next part due to it all being scribbled out a thousand times. Apparently Quinn didn't know how to give him the bad news, even in a letter. The rest of the first letter was similar, all scribble and not much writing, so Finn moved on to a later one.
"Dear Finn,
So, I'm keeping secrets from you, you're keeping secrets from me. Is that how this relationship works?
God help us if it is.
We used to be better than this. It was smiles and 'I love you' all the time. I can pretend I don't see you with Rachel, but the fact is, I do. I'm not stupid, I know you've kissed her at least once… I guess what hurts the most is that you haven't told me. I don't know, maybe you're just working up to it.
Wait, pot… kettle… black…"
"Dear Finn,
THE BABY ISN'T YOURS.
It's not that hard to write… So why can't I just say it?"
"Dear Finn,
The more I think about it, the more the name Drizzle grows on me. You're gonna be a great dad some day, Finn Hudson, and I really hope I'm the lucky girl you pick to be the mother."
"Dear Finn,
Baby hormones are driving me crazy. I'm bitchy all the time now, not just mostly.
I'm hungry too. I stole one of the cupcakes from the bake sale today when no-one was looking. Naturally, this damn baby sucked it all down before I even got to enjoy it, and I was just hungry again.
So I'm sorry for getting mad at you about the whole money situation. It's just really stressful."
"Dear Finn,
'Handicapable' waiter is better than pool cleaner, right?
I can't believe I had sex with Puck."
Every letter was different. Every time, she had something different to tell him, things she could never say to his face. The only common factor was that every letter ended with the same two words - I'm sorry.
Finn was on a roll, but he seriously contemplated opening the next letter. It was dated two days prior. The day of Sectionals… The day he broke up with her.
I bet you can guess what happened.
"Dear Finn,
I was never sorry about anything before I met you. I'd never even felt guilt. And now it's like every day I have something new to apologize for. I screw up more than ever and that sucks because I love you so much."
"You should've told me more often…" Finn muttered for no reason in particular.
"I know what you'd say if you read this. You'd say, maybe I should've reminded you of that more often, right? Maybe if I had've you would've forgiven me in like a months time. But now, because I was such a crappy girlfriend, I'm stuck with an eternity of regret, and I'll probably wind up with five kids and a husband who cleans pools for a living and sleeps with everything that moves, my life is just going to generally suck, and I can forget ever going to Finland.
What I'm trying to say is I'm really sorry. Not just that I slept with Puck, although mostly because of that, but also because I lied, and you had to find out from someone else. I saw the way your face lit up whenever I talked about the baby. She loves you, you know, she kicks whenever I say your name. She misses you. And Puck can claim to be the father all he wants, but you'll always be her dad.
I hope one day you can forgive me, Finn. Because I know that I will always, always love you. And I mean that more than Rachel will ever be able to.
I'm sorry, Finn. You deserve better than some apology in some stupid letter that you're never going to read. So I hope you start talking to me agains soon so I can tell you face to face. Or at least face to chest, Frankenteen :)
Most guys would've ran at the first mention of pregnancy. I know there's a reason you stayed, and it's not just because you're an amazing person with a big heart.
I chose you, Finn. Maybe one day you'll choose me too.
Q xo"
He was so concerned with the forty three letters and the revelation that he may have made a mistake giving up with Quinn so quickly that he left behind the box of three t-shirts and a teddy bear named Geoffrey.
He didn't get them back until ten years later… But that's a whole other story.