Internal Strength

by Ravensun

When things happen that test every ounce of your resolve, it is good to have people who give you the strength to fight through the darkness to find the light.

A/N: This is set after 3.1 before the friendship is mended. Do not own anything nor will I profit from any of the words written. I hope you enjoy. It is rather dark, but as the optimist that I am, there is always a path to the light.

"Rizzoli", Jane said as she answered her phone.

"Alright, we'll be there in a few."

Looking over at Frost and Korsak sitting at their desks, Jane tells them they have a body on the South side.

"You gonna ride with us over to the crime scene?" Korsak asked Jane.

"Naw, I'm gonna take my car. I gotta go by and pick up my dry cleaning and make a stop at the bank before I head back to headquarters."

"Has Doctor Isles been contacted?" Frost asked.

"I figure, who knows," Jane said.

"Man, you two still not on speaking terms?" Frost asked.

"No, just enough to get through work together. I don't know if we will ever be as close as we were before."

"Just saying," Frost said, "with you two not being able to speak to each other without the sarcasm and bitterness, it puts me and Korsak in the middle, and trust me we don't like it."

"I know and I am sorry. Hopefully we will be able to get past this, but in the mean time you guys are just gonna have to man up," Jane said as she was walking out of the office.

As Jane was walking out to go to her car, Frankie stopped her. "Jane."

"Yeah, Frankie what's up? I'm headed to a crime scene."

"Yeah, sorry. Just wanted to let you know that I think Ma is seeing someone."

"What! Why do you think that? You know, never-mind, if she is seeing someone, it really is none of our business." Jane responded as heading out the doors. "We will talk more about it later. Hey, who is it, do you know?"

"No, but I am pretty sure there is someone. I'll keep digging." Frankie answered.

"You do that. You can earn that detective's badge by investigating Ma's love life." Jane shot back as she walked out.

When Jane arrived at the crime scene, she parked across the street from the scene, about 50 yards. Parking in parts of Boston was a pain in the ass. Jane saw Frost and Korsak already at the scene looking at the body. Jane also saw Maura kneeling over the body doing her preliminary exam. God she wished they could get past this rift in their friendship. Jane really missed hanging out with Maura, having pizza and beer at Maura's house or at Jane's apartment, joking around with Maura at the autopsy. Seemingly the small things are what Jane missed the most. She definitely had a void in her life and she knew that void was Doctor Maura Isles.

As Jane was walking down the street to the crime scene, a black van pulled up near Jane and two men jumped out of the van dressed head to toe in black, including black ski masks. One man took out a taser and grabbed Jane, as Jane was screaming and fighting with the man, he tasered her causing her to go limp while the other masked man grabbed her feet, threw her in the van and then sped away.

Frost and Korsak were looking at the body and discussing the evidence with Dr. Isles when they all heard the commotion. Jane's screams. As soon as they heard the struggle Frost and Korsak pulled their guns and started running toward where Jane was, but before they could get close enough the men had Jane in the van and were speeding away.

"Shit, what just happened?" Frost said out of breath.

"I don't know. Jane was just walking up and they grabbed her. Did you see anything? Recognize the guys or the van?" Korsak asked.

"No. I did get a partial plate on the van. I'll go see if I can get any hits with these letters and numbers on a plate for a black van." Frost said.

"I doubt it. Did this just seem too easy to you. Like maybe this body was put here so Jane would be out here." Korsak responded.

"Frost! Korsak!" Maura yelled while running toward the two men. "What just happened? Where's Jane?"

"Uh, Doctor Isles, we don't know. That black van just pulled up and two men got out and they took Jane. We did not see the guys. They were wearing masks. We got a partial plate and Frost is going to try to find a registration. I don't know Dr. Isles, I don't have a good feeling about this. Frost and I think this body was put here just to get Jane out here so they could abduct her."

"But, Hoyt is dead. Who would want her? Do you think he has another apprentice?" Maura said rather nervously. Maura had still been very standoffish with Jane since the shooting of Paddy Doyle. Maura knew deep down that Jane was only doing her job when she shot Paddy, but Jane had not apologized to Maura for shooting Paddy. It was just the principle at this point. Maura was tired of Jane not taking in to consideration her feelings on this matter. Maura was not close to Paddy Doyle, but he had protected her and he had not treated her with any maliciousness. She did not agree with any of Doyle's activities, but he is her biological father and therefore a part of her life regardless of what he is. Standing here taking in what has just occurred with Jane, Maura thought to herself, What have you done?

"I told the techs to take the body back to the morgue. I will go get started on the forensics to see if we can find anything that would connect this body to the people who took Jane. What do we do about Jane?" Maura said.

"Not much we can do at this time, but see if we can get some traffic cameras that may show the van and see if we can find where it went. Otherwise, we just wait and see if it is a kidnapping with a ransom demand. Maybe someone wants someone released from prison, or wants the city to pay a ransom. Jane is well known as a hero since the hostage situation at BPD." Korsak responded.

"Would the city pay for the release of Jane if there is a demand?" Maura asked.

"I don't know. I don't think it is their policy. It's kinda like Jane has to give her life as the officer she is rather than the city financially supporting what may be terrorism."

"Oh," Maura said in a very defeated tone. "I am headed back to get started on the forensics. Detective Sergeant Korsak, please find Jane." Maura said as she was walking back to her car.

Jane was conscious now, and realized she was sitting in a chair, tied to the chair with her arms tied to the arms of the chair and a hood over her eyes. What the hell happened and where the hell was she. She remembered walking to the crime scene and a black van with two men dressed in black pulling up, a struggle and a taser. She does not remember anything else until now. She can hear people talking, but it sounds like another language.

All of a sudden the hood was ripped off of Jane's head and her eyes had to adjust to the light. She noticed that she was in what was more than likely a vacant warehouse.

"Hello Detective Rizzoli, glad to see you conscious now," a big man said as he walked back and forth in front of her. There were four other men in the area. One was standing right behind Jane and the other three were flanking the big man.

"Who the hell are you?" Jane snarled at the man.

"Ah, Detective Rizzoli, that is not any of your concern. Who I am is not important at this time."

"Well how about you let me go and we can sit down and have tea together and discuss why I am here. How about that?"

The big man nodded to the man behind Jane and all of a sudden Jane's head was snapped to the left as a hard blow landed on the right side of her face.

"Now, let's just forget the sarcasm Detective, as you can see I am not in the mood, although my man, D, seems to enjoy slapping you around."

Jane's head was now throbbing, not to mention her jaw, plus she could taste the iron metallic taste of her own blood in her mouth. "What do you want with me?" Jane rasped out.

"Well, Detective, you cost me a lot of money on one of your cases and well, let's just say that I want to exact my revenge if you will."

"How did I cost you a lot of money, I am a homicide detective, not drugs or white collar."

"Do you recall a shipment of liquid heroin that you found and confiscated? It was soaked in blankets? Well, that was my heroin and it cost me two million dollars. So yeah, Detective you cost me. So now I have to pay you back for that, but the good news for you is that I am not going to kill you. No, that would be too easy and simple. I am going to make you wish you were dead. I am going to fuck up your life as you know it and the way I am going to do it, well, it's ironic." The big man nodded over to the man to his left who went over to Jane holding a syringe. "You see, I think making you addicted to the one thing you cost me, along with all the shit that goes along with having a severe drug problem will be a fitting payback. Just think, you will have to have a fix everyday or go into withdrawal. You will be a cop with a drug problem, if you even make it out of the drug haze to return to your old life. You will be so addicted by the time I let you go that you will know how to shoot yourself up because that will be all you can concentrate on. Oh, and I will make it easy for you to get your fix, I'll have a dealer give you all the drugs you need."

The man nodded again to the man standing next to Jane and he took the syringe and placed it on a vein that was popping up on her left arm from the ties around her arms being so tight. Jane tried to pull free. She pulled and tugged her arm, but to no avail. The man grabbed her arm and injected the needle in the vein.

"Enjoy your trip Detective, oh and Detective, that heroin is the very best, 80% pure so that I can get you hooked faster," the big man said as he walked away laughing.

Jane's heart was pumping from struggling to get her arm free so it did not take too long before she began to feel the effects of the heroin. Jane began to feel like she was on top of the world. Damn, this is not a bad feeling, she thought as she felt the stress, tension and worries of her life just melt away. What a euphoric feeling she thought no wonder people like this. She started thinking about all the good things in her life. Her family, even though they annoyed her, she loved them. Her partners, Frost and Korsak, hell no cop could ask for better partners. And Maura. God she hated that she and Maura were on the outs, but Jane knew she loved her and she was like family. Jane made up her mind right then that she was going to call Maura and apologize. Tell her how much she loved and cared for her and that she did not want to lose her as a best friend.

"Hey," Jane said in a cheerful tone to the man now sitting over to her left, "can I borrow a phone, I really need to call my best friend and tell her that I am sorry for shooting her father and that I love her and don't want to lose her as a friend."

"Wow, Detective, you shot your best friend's father. Damn I would hate your ass forever." The man said while laughing with the other two men that were sitting at the table with him. "How you feeling over there?"

"I am good," Jane replied in her drug induced euphoria, "could you let me go. These restraints really hurt and like I said, I really need to use the phone."

"Sorry, Detective, but I can't let you go make that call right now, but maybe later, ok." The man replied laughing his ass off.

"OK, man, that's great, I'll wait. So, what are you guys' names since we seem to be hanging out?"

"Well, Detective, you already met D here," the man said pointing the man at his left, "and I am T and this here is J," he said pointing to the man to his right.

"All right, D,T and J. Nice to meet ya and hey D, man, I forgive you for the little misshunderstanding we had earlier. I really can be a smart asssss."

Jane realized that she was starting to get very drowsy. She was fighting the urge to just fall asleep. Although a nice nap would be great considering she hardly ever gets to sleep at night. "Heeeyyyy, T, I thinnnk I'm gonna take a nap sooo when I wake up maybe I can make that caaallllll." Jane was out.

"Damn," T said, "that took a while and what a talker. Hey, you guys undo the restraints and take her to the room. Boss said we have to shoot her up every four hours."

"Any luck on running that plate," Maura asked as she walked in to the BRIC.

"No, I have been trying everything, but nothing yet. I figure we won't find anything on it. I mean, those guys wanted Jane. This was a professional job and I figure that the plates are stolen even if I can trace them." Frost replied.

"We are looking for the camera footage in the area to try to track the van down the streets. Maybe we can find where the van ended up." Korsak said.

"I have finished the autopsy, but not much forensic evidence was found. The bullet was a 9mm which I sent to ballistics, the victim appeared to be a homeless man so we have no id yet." Maura said.

"Yeah, why shoot a homeless man. I'm telling you, this was a set up to get Jane out on that street." Frost said.

"Has anyone told Frankie or Angela yet?" Maura asked.

"No, to be honest I forgot, I got so caught up in trying to find something to tell us who got her or where she may be that I forgot." Korsak replied.

"Well, I'll go talk to Angela, Frost, you want to tell Frankie?" Maura replied.

"No not really, but I will," Frost said.

"Angela, do you have a second?" Maura asked.

"Sure, Maura, let me take care of this last gentleman and I will come over to your table."

Angela noticed a worried look on Maura's face and it is odd she would come to the café without Jane. She sat the man's order down on his table and went over to sit with Maura.

"What's going on?" Angela asked.

"Angela, I, I just want you to know what happened today before you hear it from anyone else."

"Maura, what is it, your scaring me."

"Well, we were called out to a crime scene this morning on the Southside. I arrived about the same time Frost and Korsak arrived, but Jane took her own car because she had some things to do after she finished with the scene. Anyway, as Jane was walking up to the scene, a black van pulled up next to her and two men abducted her."

"OH, MY GOD!" Angela yelled. "Who took my Janie? Where did they go? What are they doing to her?" Angela broke down into tears.

"Here, let me drive you home. Korsak and Frost are working on it plus it has been turned over to the BPD to work as an abduction."

Jane started to wake up although she just felt groggy. Where the hell was she, she thought. She blinked a number of times, rubbing her eyes and trying to focus. Finally she could see that she was in a room that looked like a jail cell. She was lying on an old mattress on the floor. There was a toilet and sink in the corner and the room looked to be about twelve feet by twelve feet. How the hell did I end up in here, she thought. Jane tried to remember what had happened. She remembered being taken. She remembered the big man talking to her about costing him money. She remembered being hit, as she automatically reached for her jaw. She remembered being injected with heroin, as she looked down at her left arm seeing the small puncture mark.

Jane tried to stand up, but she still felt so groggy. She felt like she could just go back to sleep. She knew she needed to try to find a way out of this place. She crawled on to her knees and as she was trying to stand, she heard the door opening. As she looked up she saw the three men that were with her earlier. The man in the front had a syringe in his hand.

"Hey, Detective, how's it going?" He said to her as he came closer to her. "It's time for your next fix."

Jane saw the man reaching out to grab her arm and she knew she could not let him get it. She knew she had to fight him off. She yanked her arm back and tried to stand to get away from the man, but one of the other men, J, she thought, grabbed her by her arms holding them to her side. She just did not have the energy or coordination to try to fight the men. The man known as D came over and took her left arm and forced it straight while the man known as T inserted the needle and released the poison inside.

Jane knew as she sunk back down on the mattress that this was one battle she was not going to win.

"See you again in four hours, Detective. Sweet dreams"

"Here Detective Frost, this is the results from the autopsy on the homeless man. His name is John Walker. Found him in the DOJ database. He was a Vietnam vet. There was no useful trace evidence," Maura said handing the folder over to Frost. "I am worried, Frost. It's been two days and we have not heard anything from the abductors nor have we found any evidence to help locate Jane. Did you find anything on the city videos?"

"Yeah, kind of. We were able to follow the van to a parking garage about twelve blocks from the abduction. Problem is, they more than likely pulled into the garage, pulled out the back and went to the next garage. They probably kept jumping around to underground garages and exiting where there were no cameras, so, no we really don't have anything." Frost said with a heavy heart. "Dr. Isles, I am worried to, but Jane is strong and she will fight till she gets back, you know that and this police force is doing everything we can to find her," Frost replied placing a reassuring hand on Doctor Isles' shoulder.

"I know Barry," Maura replied tilting her head down as her eyes began to water, "I just, it's just that I treated her so badly these last few weeks and I have not been the friend I should have been. I care so much for her and I may have lost her and instead of treasuring all the time we could have spent together, I pushed her away and held a grudge for something she did in the line of duty." By this point Maura was sobbing uncontrollably. Frost grabbed her up and hugged her.

"We will find her, Doctor Isles. You just got to be positive."

As the days passed, no new leads regarding Jane came in. There was no communication from her abductors and there was nothing to even give the police any idea of where to start.

The days turned into months and still no leads, no communication and no Jane.

Maura was basically going through the motions, but her spirit was broken. She had basically conceded that Jane was gone and that one day her body would be found. God she felt empty. No more movie and pizza nights, no more beer for Jane in her refrigerator. No more calling Bass a turtle. Maura sank on to her couch with a bottle of Jane's beer crying. She could not believe that Jane was gone. Maura knew that now she would never get the chance to express her true feelings to Jane. To tell her that she loved her unconditionally and more than just a friendship/sister love. Maura has lost the one person she truly loved.

Jane was lying on her mattress, coming out of another drug induced slumber. She had no idea what day it was, or how long she had been in this room. It was odd though. These guys were feeding her every day, a female henchman would take her for a shower, they have bought her some clothes to wear. Sadly she has lost weight. She really did not need to lose any. She was looking very gaunt, her eyes were set back and dark circles were present. There was a small mirror by the sink so she could see the effects of the drugs and what the lack of sunlight was having on her.

Jane found it hard to think and concentrate when she was awake. The euphoric highs made her think crazy thoughts and they did not last long before she crashed into the groggy ins and outs. She did know that her tolerance to the drug was increasing. They had been giving her a shot every two hours and it did not seem to have the same effect as before, but they were starting to withhold her hits. They were also bringing the drugs in and leaving them on the little metal table. Jane could not believe in a million years that she would ever voluntarily take an illegal drug, but the addiction to the drug was strong and the withdrawal effect was even worse. The first two times that they left the drug on the table Jane let it sit there for a long time. She would not shoot herself up with that poison. She sat there on her mattress until she started to shake, broke out in a cold sweat and could do nothing but think of the rush she could have if she just took that shot. Jane laid on her mattress in the fetal position shaking until she could not take anymore. She crawled over to the table and took the syringe. She took the needle and stuck it in her right arm and injected the liquid. In just a couple of minutes, Jane was calm, high as a kite, happy and not wishing she were dead. Shit, Jane thought, the big man has succeeded in his plan and I am going to have a long haul to try to get out of this situation.

After another month and a half of daily hits of heroin, the man decided it was about time to let Detective Rizzoli go. It had been five and a half months since he had been doping the Detective. He had two more weeks before he was going to let her go, but she will wish she were dead during those two weeks. He had built her addiction up to a hit every two hours, but now she needs to have a few bouts of withdrawal to prove her dependency.

Jane realized that they were not coming in with her hits on a regular basis like they had been. The first day she was relieved to not see them coming in until after about six hours had passed with still no hit. Jane began to shake, feel nauseous, and a cold sweat had broken out. Jane was miserable. She could not quit shaking. She felt the urge to vomit so she crawled over to the toilet and began dry heaving. She tried to stand up, but she was too weak and the uncontrollable shaking had her propped up against the wall. Finally about ten hours later they bring the syringe in and leave it on the table and leave. Jane crawled over to the needle. She was shaking so badly that she did not know if she would be able to inject the needle. The veins in both of her arms were shot at this point, so they had been using her inner thighs. She took the needle and inserted it in her left thigh. Please for the love of God, Jane thought, let this make this pain go away.

After the two weeks of withholding the drug and making sure the Detective was addicted, the big man decided to let her go. He had bought a new suit just for the Detective so that when he threw her ass out in the ghetto of the Southside she would look like a cop. Most people in that area are not going to be too nice to a cop.

The big man gave Jane one last hit before he had Larissa, his female henchman, dress her and put a syringe, a baggie of heroine, a lighter and a note with the phone number of the dealer where the Detective could get all the heroin she wanted in the Detective's suit pocket.

The black SUV pulled up next to a vacant warehouse in the Southside and J opened the door and shoved Jane out causing her to hit the side of the building and collapse. "Good luck, Detective. It was a pleasure spending time with you," the big man said as the door shut and the SUV drove away.

Jane tried to stand, but was too out of it to be able to balance and she fell back to the ground. She just wanted to close her eyes and sleep, but she knew she needed to find shelter. She tried to get to her knees so she could crawl to the door of the warehouse, but she just could not; she did not have the coordination to do so. She slumped back down on the ground and slipped in to unconsciousness.

Back at BPD, Jane's abduction, along with the murder of the homeless man were both open and cold. Frost and Korsak feared the worse after not hearing anything or getting any clues after the first three weeks.

Both Frost and Korsak knew that the loss of Jane had taken a toll on Dr. Isles. She had reverted back to her old self of being an extreme introvert. She did not hang out with Frost or Korsak at the Dirty Robber anymore despite their offers. She did not even visit with Angela at the café like she used to. They both hated how this had affected her.

Angela refused to believe Jane was dead. She refused to have any kind of a memorial service. Her response to everyone was that Jane was a fighter and she would be back.

Frankie knew his ma was in denial, but technically Jane was still missing. Could not declare her dead until seven years had passed.

Even through her grief, Angela saw how hard the whole thing had been on Maura. Angela, being the ever observant mother she was, knew that there was more to the relationship between Maura and her daughter even if neither one of them saw it. She saw the glances, the lingering looks, the touching, the protectiveness that each one had for the other. Yeah, best friends do that sometimes, but not like those two. It was obvious that there was a mutual attraction beyond friendship. Angela knew that it was basically as if Maura lost her spouse or significant other. Besides Maura was like a daughter to Angela and it hurt Angela to see Maura withdrawing into herself. She decided she was going to try to get Maura to talk to her.

Angela took a break from the café and gathered up a salad and a tea and took off toward the morgue.

"Maura, honey, are you in here?" Angela asked.

"Hi Angela," Maura replied flatly.

"I brought you a salad and some tea for lunch. You need to try to eat."

"Thanks Angela but I am just not hungry."

"Maura, when was the last time you ate?"

"Uh, I ate a salad for lunch yesterday I guess."

"OK, so you have not eaten since lunch yesterday. Now eat before you get sick."

"Angela, I appreciate the gesture, but I am just not hungry."

"Maura, I know how you feel. It takes all my strength to keep going and not break down, but I just know deep down that Jane is alive and that we will see her again. I know it sounds crazy, but it is what keeps me going; what allows me to get up in the mornings. Now you know you are just like my daughter and I want you to keep your strength up." Angela started tearing up as she continued. "I don't want to lose you too, Maura."

Seeing the tears welling up in Angela's eyes as she said those last words to her, Maura started tearing up as well. "I am sorry Angela. It's just, I was so hateful and petty with Jane those last few weeks. I acted like a spoiled teenager that did not get their way and pouted and ignored the person who I felt slighted me; that same person being the one that I would give anything to be able to hold again."

Angela caught the last phrase Maura said and decided to say what had been on her mind for a while. "Maura, you are in love with Jane."

"No, Angela, I…"

"No, listen, Maura. I see how you two are around each other. You two are always together, laughing. I see the lingering glances, the expressions, the touches. It goes beyond friendship. I also know that Jane feels the same for you. You two keep going out with guys only to tell each other how he is not right for you and then you don't stay in the relationship. Can't you see why? You are already in a relationship, you just don't know it."

"Angela, I, you, I don't know. There may be some truth to what you say. I know I loved Jane with every fiber of my being and that place in my soul is now empty."

"Maura, don't lose faith. I know you're all about the science, but positive thoughts being put out into the universe is a powerful resource." Angela said as she was walking out the door of Maura's office. "Eat, Maura," she said as she exited.

Maura looked at the salad and could not help but smile. Jane's family really was her family too. Angela said Jane loved her too. Maura doubted that. How could Jane love someone who treated like I have treated her? If she did love her, she sure wouldn't now. Maura decided she would try to be more positive. Maybe Jane is still out there, and maybe the universe would bring her back to Maura.

Jane began to come back out of her drug slumber. She propped herself up against the side of the building and tried to pull herself out of the fog. After about ten minutes she tried to stand up. This time she was successful. God her head was hurting. She reached up and felt dried blood on her head. Guess it was split open when I fell, or when they shoved me out here, at least I think that is what happened. God my mind is like a TV when the person is channel surfing real fast; just little snippets of things.

Where the hell am I now? Jane thought. She looked around at the buildings and saw a few that were familiar. Damn, I am in the worst part of the South side of Boston. Jane started walking. She needed to try to get to her apartment. She could figure everything out then. As she walked, more like staggered, down the sidewalk, she felt that urge that she had now come to know so well. She needed a fix. She was coming off the last one they gave her and she was starting to feel clammy and nauseous. I am free. I am not being held prisoner anymore so there is no reason for me to shoot up. I can fight this. Jane thought. As she continued walking, she realized that she could not concentrate on where she was or how to get back to her apartment. She reached down to put her hands in her jacket pockets when she felt something. She stopped, pulled out the baggie and the syringe. Inside the baggie, there was a note with a number on it and a lighter. She stood there staring at the drug and realized that if she just took a hit of it that she would be more coherent for a while. She may be able function better and get herself out of here. Just a little hit to take the edge off that was becoming more and more overwhelming.

Jane put the drug and syringe back in her pocket and walked back toward the vacant warehouse. Jane knew enough that she did not need to be caught on the street with the drug and she had to find a safe place to shoot up. Jane was able to pry a board back and slip into the warehouse. Not her first choice for a safe location, but she needed a fix and she needed it now. She walked over to an area in the east corner. She had to find a spoon or can or something to turn the heroin into a liquid. As she was looking around for a metal container, her withdrawal started getting worse. She was shaking, but she was angry, crazy angry. She was angry because she, a decorated detective was looking for anything she could find to liquefy her drug so she could get high; angry because she was not finding anything. Jane started screaming and kicking everything in her path. Finally, over by on old barrel, she found a dirty spoon; probably someone else's drug paraphernalia. Jane spit on the dusty spoon and wiped it as clean as she could with her shirt. She used the lighter to heat the spoon just to kill the germs that might be there. She took out a piece of the drug and placed it in the spoon. She heated it up and took the syringe and pulled the liquid into the syringe. She pulled her pants down and injected the liquid into her thigh. She took some deep breaths and within five minutes she was no longer shaking or nauseous. She was just fine, right as rain now.

Jane started back down the sidewalk again after getting her fix. She was going to get to her apartment. As she walked down the sidewalk she saw a drug deal taking place at a street corner. Jane walked up to the dealer. "Hey man, Boston PD, you best get your ass out of here before I bust you up one end and down the other."

"What the fuck," the dealer said. "You said you is a cop. Let me see your badge, mamacita."

Jane went to her belt, but realized there was no badge, no phone and no gun. "Shit."

"So, you still gonna bust my ass. I let you do more than bust my ass, senorita. You can ride the pony if you like," the dealer said as he grabbed his crotch.

"You better watch yurrrr mouth there assssshole, I am a cop and you are not. I can put your assss wherever I damn well pleash. I am, shit, I am, oh fuck it, just go. Get the hell outa my face." Jane slurred.

"Wow, mamacita you are fucked up. You are whacked the hell outa your mind. What are you on?"

"What arrre you talkin about? I am not whacked up."

"Sure, mami, whatever you say. You staying around here?"

"No, I am trying to get back to my apartment."

"Hey, no need to run off. Come with me 5-0. I can help you. We'll see if we can figure you out. You don't need to be out here in that shape. The real 5-0 have you yanked in no time. Come on, you barely standing on your feet now," the dealer said as he put his arm around Jane to steady her. He led her over to a 1995 Grand Marquis, gold with 27 inch chrome wheels and put her in the passenger seat. As he got in the driver's seat, Jane was already unconscious.

Jane came to and looked around. She was in a bed in a little room with a lot of red and green curtains and bed covers. She was still dressed in her suit. Damn it. Now where the hell am I. This coming to in a new place every time with no memory of how she got there was getting old.

Jane sat up as she got a head rush. "Shit." She got up off the bed, opened the door and walked out in to the living area of a house.

"Hey, senorita, you up. You been out for about three hours."

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Torez, and this is my casa."

Jane looked around at the small home. It was actually not to bad looking considering the shape of the home itself. It was clean and semi decorated. So, Jane is now waking up in the bed of strange men. "Shit," she said. "How do I know you?"

"Oh, you don't remember. You came up to me on the street corner, told me you was gonna bust my ass, then you fell into my arms and we came back here, made mad passionate love, you got dressed and then passed out."

Jane sat down in the old recliner with a look of utter disgust and hurt on her face. She had screwed a guy and can't even remember. "Oh, ok, sorry I don't remember," Jane responded with tears starting to fall from her eyes.

"Hey, hey, 5-0. I'm just joking with you. We did not have sex. You did threaten to bust my ass, but you were in a bad way and I put you in my car and you passed out. I took you into my bedroom and laid you down on the bed and shut the door. You just came to. No sex, senorita, swear. I may be a lotta things, but when it comes to the ladies, I am a gentleman and I would not do nothing with a chick who was passed out."

Jane immediately felt better, but she still did wake up in a strange man's bed. That is not good. "So why did you bring me here?"

"Like I said, I may not be the most upstanding citizen in Boston, but I am not gonna leave a woman out on the streets that was as fucked up as you were. You would have been raped or killed out there. Seriously 5-0 where you from?"

"I," Jane started as she noticed the familiar feelings coming on her. Her body was twitching and shaking (not to noticeable yet). She was chilled and that nauseous feeling was coming back.

"Hey, you ok 5-0. You look like you about to start cold turkey on me. You on the black tar, 5-0?"

"What, black tar?" Jane asked.

"Yeah, you know, heroin."

Jesus, Jane knew that. She worked in the drug unit undercover. She knew the street name of heroin. What the hell is happening to her? She knew she was circling a spiral headed for oblivion if she did not try to get her shit together and get some help, but right now the pain and agony was starting to become unbearable.

"Yeah, so do you have a spoon I could use?"

"Damn, 5-0 you got it bad. You just came through your high and you already jonesin for more." Torez said as he got up and went to the kitchen to get a spoon.

Jane reached in her pocket and got the baggie, lighter and syringe. Torez handed her a spoon. She went through the ritual that was becoming all too common. After she was done, she surveyed her drug. She had enough for one more hit, but that was it. She would have to get more to feed this craving.

"So, Torez, do you sell heroin?"

"No, not my drug. Say what's your name, senorita?"

"Oh, Jane. Jane Rizzoli."

"So Jane, how long you been using?"

"Well, uh what day is it?"

"Seriously, you don't know what day it is? It is Wednesday, September 12."

"WHAT! That can't be right. It was just March and I was working a homicide."

"No, 5-0, it is September."

"Well, then I guess I started using in March. I was taken by this guy and he held me prisoner and shot me up with heroin so I would become addicted."

"OK 5-0, whatever you say. You got one thing right, you an addict. You gonna be back out in a few."

"You got any family?" Torez asked.

"Yeah, I got a great little brother. He's a cop too. My ma is a pain in the ass, but I love her. And my Maura."

"Maura your kid?" Torez asked.

Laughing Jane replied, "No, she is my best friend. I miss her something fierce. See I shot her dad and well, that caused a rift in our friendship. She would not speak to me, still won't. Man, I love her. I miss her so much." Jane started getting groggy, but kept on talking. "I really, really miss her. I miss her smell, her eyes, her gorgeous legs, and her touch. She is so soft. I wish I could hold her."

"5-0 that don't sound like a best friend. That sounds like a lover. You got the hots for your BFF."

"No, were just best friends."

"Did you just hear what you said? You miss her touch, her legs, her smell and you want to hold her. 5-0 you wanna hit that. Sorry, but I know when someone wants to get it on and you wanna get it on with your BFF."

"Noooo, I, well, you know, you may be right. It kinda turns me on just thinking about touching her. That's not normal is it when you think of your best friend?"

"No, 5-0. I take it she don't know how you feel."

"Naw. I don't wannaaa messss up ourrr friendship and lose her becaussse she don't feeeel the same."

"Well you just told me your friendship is on the rocks anyway. Why don't you just tell her? What harm could it do now and who knows she may wanna rock you just like you wanna rock her."

"Gooood point," Jane replied as she slipped back in to unconsciousness.

Torez felt like something with Jane Rizzoli was just not right. He could tell she was an addict. That was obvious, but she did not really look like an addict. She looked clean and groomed and she is not street wise like she should be if she was living on the streets. He picked Jane up and took her back to his bed. She didn't weigh hardly anything. Wonder when the last time she ate was? Torez had to go out and take care of some business, but he decided to check on Jane Rizzoli. She claims she is a cop, but if she is she is not going to be able to hide her drug problem. Torez decided he would pick up some supper too while he was out.

Jane woke up in the same bed she had awakened before, but again fully clothed. It took her a minute to remember where she was. "Torez" she said to herself. Jane swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood. She took a deep breath and smelled a wonderful aroma. She walked out into the living room and saw Torez in the kitchen cooking something.

"Wow," Jane said groggily, "that smells great."

"Hey, sleepyhead. Yeah, looks like you could use a good meal. We gotta get some meat on your bones so that girl of yours will have something to hold on to." Torez said smiling.

"Shut up, man," Jane replied.

"Hey 5-0, I checked on you and you are a cop in the homicide division. But the kicker is you are listed as missing, mamacita."

"I know, I gotta get back to work, but all I do is crave more heroin. I have been free for over two days now and I still have not been able to get home. Every time I think about going I either pass out or I am so bad off I have to take another hit then I am out again."

Torez set two chicken enchiladas down in front of Jane. "Here, eat, you seriously need some food. You look like shit."

"Gee, thanks," Jane replied.

After she ate, she could feel that familiar feeling again. She went and picked up the spoon and went back to the little bathroom off to the back of the house.

That was the last of the heroin she had. She knew she needed to get more now because she would be wanting some during the night and she knew she could not deal with withdrawals during the night. She took the note out with the number on it and walked back into the living room.

"Torez, could I borrow your phone, I need to make a call."

"Sure," he said as he tossed her his cell.

Jane dialed the number and on the third ring a man said "Hello."

"Uh, yeah this is Jane Rizzoli. I, uh, had your number to call about getting more…"

"Ah, yes Ms. Rizzoli, I have been expecting your call. You need some 'candy' don't you? Meet me at Lorenzo's. Do you know where that is?"

"Yes. How will I know you?"

"Oh, you want see me. Go in and tell the person up front that you are there to see Mr. Saul. They will seat you at the table. You will take your napkin and unroll it and inside will be what you are looking for. Enjoy."

Jane ended her conversation and walked back to Torez. "Hey, man could you give me a lift to Lorenzo's. I, uh, gotta pick something up."

"Sure 5-0, but you don't have to act like your covering something up. I am a dealer, I know you're going to score."

Jane arrived a Lorenzo's and did as the man said. When she sat down she opened the napkin in her lap and there it was, a baggie. She looked at the drug. There was enough in the baggie to last her about two days. Why couldn't he put more in there?

She would have to call him again in a couple of days.

Jane and Torez returned to his house where Jane continued her new daily ritual. Two days later Jane was out of drugs again. She called the number and the man told her to do the same thing as last time. Jane had not had a hit for five hours when she picked up her score. She was starting to feel the familiar signs. Shakes, chills, nausea, general feeling of wanting to die. Torez had dropped Jane off while he went to settle up on some money that was owed to him. She decided she would go down the alley beside Lorenzo's and get her badly needed fix. As soon as Jane walked out of the restaurant, a BPD uniform stopped her.

"Excuse me, we got a call from the restaurant that you ate a meal and did not pay," the uniform said.

"What! Do you know who I am? I did not even get a meal in there."

"Well, what were you doing in there if you did not get a meal," the uniform asked.

"Listen, Baker," Jane said looking at the name tag on his uniform, "I did not steal a meal or do anything illegal."

"Well, why don't you come with me and we can talk about it at the station and hopefully get it all cleared up," the uniform said while noticing all the signs of an addict coming from this woman.

"Listen asshole," Jane said as her anger flared. She could feel her withdrawal getting worse and worse by the minute. "I have not done anything illegal and I am going home now."

"No, ma'am you are not going home, you are coming to the station with me," the uniform said as he was going to reach for Jane's wrist to place cuffs on her.

"I am not a ma'am," Jane said as she twisted her wrist around and was able to grab the uniformed officer's arm. She twisted his arm back behind his back, but he officer stomped down with his steel toed boot on Jane's foot causing her to let go. He turned and the minute he turned on Jane, she hit him with a left hook any boxer would have been proud of. The officer hit the ground, blood coming out of his nose and mouth. He swiped out with his leg and was able to sweep Jane off her feet causing her to fall with a thud to the ground. With her trembling and shaking, the officer was on top of her pinning her down placing cuffs on her before he had a chance to get back up.

At that moment Jane was so angry with herself, angry at the situation and knew she was screwed, but none of these feeling were because she assaulted and battered a fellow officer, resisted arrest or acted disorderly. No, Jane was angry and pissed because she knew she would not get a fix to stop the impending withdrawal symptoms.

As the officer was reading her rights, he asked if she had anything on her person that he needed to know about. Jane did not respond. He hoisted Jane up by her belt loops. He placed her against his patrol car and began patting her down. When he reached into her pants pocket he pulled out a small plastic baggie. "Well, well, what have we here" the office said.

"Hey man, would you just let me take a hit. I will go peacefully if you just let me get one hit, please," Jane begged. She was starting to shake uncontrollably and her anger was about to boil over.

"No, and it's too late for peacefully," the officer said pointing to his broken nose. "Get in the car," he said as he pushed her in the back seat of the cruiser.

When they arrived at the station, Jane was cursing the officer like a sailor. She was acting like all the perps she used to catch in the Drug Unit. As the officer was taking her to book-in, a detective looked over and saw Jane. Being a cop means that most other officers know you especially the ones who have been working while you have. "Detective Rizzoli, is that you?" Detective Barnes asked.

Jane's mind was beyond being able to comprehend anything except the agonizing pain her body was feeling.

"Officer Baker, where did you pick her up?" Detective Barnes asked.

"At Lorenzo's. Had a call come in said a woman fitting her description did not pay for her meal. Went to arrest her and she broke my nose. Sir, she is high as a kite too. Found drugs on her, looks like heroin."

"OK, thanks Baker. Detective Rizzoli was reported missing about six months ago. She was abducted from a crime scene and no one has heard from her since. No evidence as to who took her either. Go ahead and take her to the suicide cell so she will be alone. I gotta make some phone calls."

When Sean Cavenaugh got a call from the BPD division on the Southside, he did not know what to expect, but what he heard surprised him more than he could have imagined. Jane Rizzoli is alive and in custody.

Cavenaugh called Korsak, Frost, Frankie, Dr. Isles and Angela all into his office. Not typical protocol but considering how close this bunch was, it would be fine.

"I called you all here to give you some good and bad news. I got a call from the BPD division in Southside and they have found Jane."

When those words came out, Maura and Angela both started to tear up. They knew that it was a body. Even the guys seemed to tear up at that news.

"She is alive."

Sighs of relief, sobs of joy were the sounds you could hear in the office.

"That's the good news. She was arrested earlier today coming out of Lorenzo's. There was an anonymous call that she did not pay for her meal. A uniform responded, saw her, went to question her and she ended up breaking his nose. They also found what they believe to be heroin on her person. Detective Barnes said that she is bad off right now. She is going through withdrawals and it is getting worse."

"Lieutenant, that does not make sense. Jane would never do drugs, she hated drugs." Maura said.

"I know Dr. Isles. I think there is more to it than meets the eyes. Jane is being charged with Felony Battery on a Police Officer, Resisting Arrest and Possession of a Controlled Substance. She will be first appeared in about an hour and a bond will be set. We need to talk to her if we can to see if she can tell us what happened. Dr. Isles I want you to go with Frost and Korsak because I think Jane will need to be evaluated for possible hospitalization from what I hear because of her withdrawal."

"OK, Lieutenant. I will be glad to go." Maura said.

"Oh thank you Lord for bringing my baby home," Angela said. She looked at Maura, "you go and take care of Jane. Remember how you feel for her. Don't forget it because you know how Jane can be. She can be stubborn. Please, help her Maura."

"Angela, I will do everything I can to help her."

As Frost, Korsak and Dr. Isles walked into the Southside division they were greeted by Detective Barnes.

"Detectives, Doctor. Glad we found Detective Rizzoli, but she is in a bad way right now."

"Detective Barnes, could I please see her so I can assess her for what we may need to do?" Maura asked.

"Sure Dr. Isles. Officer Valen will escort you to the holding cell."

As they approached the cell, the officer said, "Here she is. God I really feel for her. Had a brother got hooked on that stuff. She's got a long road ahead of her if she can kick it.

As the officer opened the door, Maura could smell the odor of vomit. As she looked down at the mattress on the floor, she saw Jane curled up in to the fetal position shaking severely. There was vomit in the corner and Jane was wringing wet with sweat. Maura almost broke down and cried right there. This broken human barely looked like the Jane Rizzoli she knew. Jane had lost about 30 pounds, which she did not need to lose, her eyes were sunken in her head and her hair was rattier than ever before.

Maura went over to Jane and reached down to touch her arm. As she touched her, Jane jerked around and scrambled into the corner yelling, "Get away from me, stay the hell away from me."

Maura was initially shocked at first because the tone was so hateful and not like Jane, but then she realized that she is not dealing with Jane, but an addict and that behavior is typical. "Jane, honey, it's me, Maura. I've come to check on you and see if there is anything I can do to help."

Jane stared at Maura with vacant dark eyes. Maura was waiting for some sign that Jane recognized her, but so far none. Jane said bitterly, "If you want to help me you will fucking get me a hit now. I will be glad to carry on a conversation when I don't feel like my body is falling apart. Oh and the spiders, stop the spiders. They are crawling on me and I can't get them to stop."

Maura looked at Jane's arms and saw that they were bloody from clawing at them. Maura had seen all she needed to see. Jane had to be hospitalized immediately so they can help her through withdrawals medically.

"Officer, she needs to be hospitalized. I need you to release her to Mass Gen so she can get some immediate help." Maura said.

"I can't release her until she is first appeared. Judge White should be ready to do it in a few minutes."

Maura and the officer headed back to where Korsak, Frost and Detective Barnes were.

"Detective Barnes, Jane needs to be hospitalized now. She is starting to hallucinate and we need to get her medical attention to help her body, but the officer said they won't release her till she is first appeared. Can we rush that?" Maura asked.

"Let me make a call," Detective Barnes said as he took out his cell.

"OK, Judge White is in and we can do her first appearance via video. Officer Valen, get Detective Rizzoli and take her to the video conference room."

Everyone headed to the video conference room. As Jane was coming toward the room, Frost and Korsak inhaled sharply as they saw their partner, or the broken shell of their partner. "Dear God," Korsak said quietly, "she looks awful." Frost could not even speak.

Jane looked up briefly as she walked in to the conference room. Her eyes were vacant. She knew Frost and Korsak but she did not have the energy to speak to them. She glanced briefly at Maura. God she was gorgeous. Jane was shocked that Maura was even there. Last she knew of Maura, Maura did not want to even speak to Jane, let alone be around her. But of course she comes here and sees Jane in this weak, broken condition. Just that thought made Jane angry, wild rage was growing in her. She yelled, "Get her out of here. Get her away from me and make them leave too (referring to Frost and Korsak). I don't want them around me."

"Jane, please, we just want to help you," Maura said.

Jane was starting to fight with the officer. She was trying to get loose from the officer and restraints so she could get up in Maura's face. "I said I want them the fuck out of here." Jane was screaming and thrashing around.

"Officer," Detective Barnes said, "get her in the conference room now and shut the door. Detectives, Doctor, let me step in for the video conference and I will come back out and let you know what is going on."

Maura was starting to tear up again. God, what did they do to you my friend? Jane was acting like a mad woman, which is typical with an addict in withdrawal. This was going to be a long road with Jane, but Maura made a promise to Angela, and Maura knew deep down that she in fact did love Jane Rizzoli and she had lost her once, but she was given a second chance to move forward with a relationship with Jane.

"Oh my God." Frost said, "That was not my partner. That was a mad person. Are we going to be able to get her back, back to the Jane Rizzoli we know and love?"

"I don't know Frost. Drug addiction can cause physical but also psychological damage. I hope that we can get her to the hospital in a few minutes and not leave her in withdrawals without giving her the help she needs to cope. That will help with her psychological well being and also her physical well being." Maura replied.

"Man, she looked like she has lost at least 20 to 30 pounds. She looks horrible." Korsak said.

Detective Barnes came out of the conference room. "That did not go well. She would not respond and when she did, she cursed the Judge. I told him what was going on, but because of the nature or the charges and her obvious agitation and aggression plus the fact she is a cop, the Judge set the bond at $100,000.00 cash."

"Jesus Christ, why wouldn't he just release her on her own recognizance? He knows she won't skip out. How the hell is Angela and Frankie gonna be able to come up with the bond money."

"Detective Barnes, where do we post the bond?" Maura asked.

"Doctor Isles, you do realize that if you post the bond that you need to make sure she makes all her court appearances or the State will forfeit the bond and you are out the entire $100,000.00."

"I understand Detective, but I am not concerned about her making her appearances. I will see to that, plus I know that Jane's family cannot afford the bond. I am a close friend of Jane's and I have the means to bond her out, so where do I go to post the bond?"

After transferring some money, and signing some paper work, the bond was paid.

"I am calling the ambulance from Mass Gen to come pick up Jane. She is not going to go with us and she needs help now. I may have to see about filing the appropriate paperwork to keep her in the treatment against her will if she tries to leave. That will not make her happy." Maura said.

"Well, I don't think she is going to be happy about anything right now and we have to do whatever we can to help her so count us in Doc, if you need anything." Korsak replied.

"Once we get her in the hospital, we need to all try to visit with her and show her she is loved. I am headed over to visit with the doctor in the Drug Treatment Unit at Mass Gen. I want to check on their program and then I want to see about that paperwork that has to be filed to keep a person involuntarily committed to a facility for treatment because I am afraid I will need it."

Jane knew she was acting like a crazy woman, but right now that was exactly how she felt. She felt awful. Her body was aching, trembling, she was chilled and had sweats, she had a feeling like bugs were crawling on her, she had a headache, she was nauseated and frankly just wished she could die. She knew she pissed the judge off, but she just wanted to be left alone to die the miserable death she felt coming on.

They set her bond at $100,000.00 which she knew her family could not afford so she knew she was in for a lengthy stay at the city lock-up. When they returned her to the suicide holding cell, she figured they thought she may try to end it all, and to tell the truth, Jane felt like that would be an easy solution to the pain she was enduring. Sadly, she had enough cognitive abilities to realize that her career was over, she was likely going to be a convicted felon, she still had lost her best friend, Maura Isles and she had disappointed her family. Her career and the respect of her family was her reason for being, not to mention her relationship with Maura, but now she had none of that, so what did she have to live for?

About an hour after she was returned to the cell, the door opened. Jane did not pay too much attention as she was sobbing uncontrollably while drawn up in the fetal position on the mattress. A paramedic came in to the cell and tried to get Jane on a gurney so that he could take her to the hospital. Jane heard the man talking to her but she was in such a state she really could not comprehend what was being said. He then grabbed her and began trying to get her up on the gurney. She wanted to fight, but had really just lost the willpower. Maybe they were taking her away to a place where she could just wither and die.

The paramedic reached down and picked Jane up and was able to place her on the gurney. She was so thin, weighed very little and basically was as limp as a rag doll. Poor woman, he thought, she is or would be so beautiful, but drugs have reduced her to this.

Maura had visited with the doctors in the Drug Treatment Unit and was pleased with their rehabilitation program. She had also filed the appropriate paperwork, and because of her status, she was able to expedite the emergency commitment order.

While Maura was still visiting with the doctor on the length of stay and amount for the stay, the paramedics brought Jane in strapped to a gurney. It absolutely broke her heart when she saw Jane like this. She walked over to the gurney and started talking to Jane. "Jane, sweetie, it's me, Maura. You're at the hospital and they are going to help you get better, OK. We all are going to help you get back to your old self," Maura was saying as she stroked Jane's face and hair. "I will be here for you Jane. I am not going to leave your side and I am going to see you through all of this. I love you Jane and I want you in my life. I lost you once because of my own stubbornness and arrogance, but I will not do it again."

Jane looked over and saw Maura. Maura looked so beautiful, but sad. Jane knew she was the cause of Maura's sadness. Again she was hurting the one person she loved.

She felt Maura's hand stroking her face and hair. She wanted to just melt into the touch but the agonizing pain she was in would only allow her to just stare at Maura with tears flowing from her eyes.

The doctor came over and told the nurse to take Jane to room 306 and start administering some methadone to alleviate the withdrawal.

"We have got to talk to Jane as soon as she is able to see if we can find out what happened. God I hope that whatever happened to her will help with her felony charges. If she can get those tossed and she can get off the drug, hopefully Jane can keep her job." Korsak said.

"Man, I know. Everybody is talking about Jane. A lot of the stuff being said is pretty harsh, like some people saying she got what she deserved." Frost replied.

"Damn, these assholes can be mean."

"I am going to go to the hospital; would you like to go with me?" Korsak asked.

"Yeah, let's go." Frost replied while grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair.

Maura was in the room with Jane. She had made sure that Jane got a private room. After they stabilize her withdrawal, they would move Jane to the Drug Rehabilitation section and Jane would again have her own room.

Jane was sleeping soundly at this time. Maura just sat and stared at Jane. Her beautiful, funny, strong Jane was an empty shell. Maura could not help the tears that formed and flowed from her eyes. Maura knew that it was going to be a very long road to getting back the old Jane, if she ever was the old Jane again.

Maura could not help but think while she sat there in the room looking at Jane. Why would Jane start using illegal drugs? She was opposed to illegal drug use. Why had she been missing for six months with no sightings, but now she is caught because she failed to pay a bill at a restaurant? None of this made any sense to Maura.

Jane started to stir. Maura stood up and stepped closer to Jane's bed. She grabbed Jane's hand and held it while she talked to Jane. "Jane, it's Maura. Honey, how are feeling? Do you need anything?"

Jane was trying to wake up when she glanced over and saw Maura. Maura was asking her how she was doing, but Jane just could not form the words to answer her. She did have a severe case of cotton mouth. She was able to mumble the word "Drink."

Maura reached over and poured a cup of ice water for Jane. "Here Jane, can you sit up a little?"

Jane tried to sit up enough to drink out of the straw. God that was the best ice water ever. "Maura, where am I?" Jane rasped.

"You're at Mass Gen in the Drug Treatment Unit."

Jane hoped at some point she would wake up and know where she was. She was trying to think about what had happened, but she started to feel nauseous. She felt the liquid start coming up. She then began to heave.

Maura saw and heard Jane. She reached over to grab the little vomit pan for Jane. She held Jane's hair back while Jane began throwing up. After she finished vomiting, Jane laid back and began shaking. She had chills and could not quit trembling. Maura pressed the button for the nurse. Jane needed another dose of methadone to alleviate the symptoms.

After the nurse gave Jane a dose, she began to calm back down and drifted back off to sleep.

During her stay at the hospital for detox before moving into the drug rehabilitation section, Maura stayed with her as often as she could. Maura came in on Jane's third day in the detox unit and found Jane in the bathroom slumped next to the toilet. Jane was vomiting which is expected in the detox process. Maura went in beside her and squatted down.

"Jane, honey, are you ok?"

"Maur, please just leave me alone and let me be," Jane weakly rasped, while absently pushing on Maura to get her to leave.

Grabbing Jane's wrists and holding firm, Maura said, "Jane, you can make it through this. You are the strongest person I know and this is going to be a fight. Your body is going through a process which you have no control over and it will be a rough process. Many people cannot handle the withdrawal which is why so many people fail to end their dependency on drugs. Jane, you are a fighter and I know you can do this, but you also need to know you are not alone. I am here for you as are your brothers, your mother, Frost and Korsak. Please let us help you." Maura replied as Jane began to get sick again. Maura reached over and put a hand on Jane's back while she held Jane's hair back with the other hand.

After she was through being sick, Jane slumped back against the wall in the bathroom so frail and thin. "Maura, why are you even here. You were barely talking to me when I was taken. You made it pretty clear you did not want to be my friend."

"Jane, I am sorry. I'm sorry about the whole situation. Yes, I was hurt about Paddy being shot. I…, I guess it was just because he was my biological father and he could answer so many questions about my life that when you shot him I saw my possibility of getting that information cease to exist. Jane, I know you were only doing your job. I know that. I have had time to reflect back to that day and my head knows you reacted as you should; my heart was the one that overreacted. I am sorry, Jane. I also had time to reflect while you were missing, and Jane the one thing that I did figure out was that I missed you. I missed you terribly. I thought to myself that our last time together was spent with me being hurt and angry at you. I thought I would never get the chance to tell you I was sorry and that I was being petty. Please, Jane, accept my apology," Maura stated while reaching over and taking Jane's right hand in hers.

Jane took her right hand and placed it on Maura's as she weakly responded, "Maura, I am so sorry I shot Paddy. He should not have been there. I would not have done anything if he had not shot Dean. And I am so sorry Dean was there. I had no idea he was there. Maura, I hope you know I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. You mean too much to me for me to do anything to jeopardize our friendship."

With tears welling up in her eyes, Maura said, "I love you, Jane, and I will be here to help you through all of this and I will help you through any other problems you may have in your life. That's what friends do for each other." Maura pulled her hand out of Jane's and gave her friend a hug. "I am so sorry I was not there for you."

Jane hugged Maura back, loving the feel of Maura's warm embrace and the smell that Jane always associated with Maura. "I love you too, Maur, and I am sorry I was such an ass."

Maura pulled out of the hug reluctantly, just as Jane began to get sick again. She again reached over and pulled Jane's hair back until she was finished being sick. She reached over and wetted a washcloth and wiped off Jane's face. Maura scooted over and sat right beside Jane against the wall. She wrapped her left arm behind Jane allowing Jane to rest her head on her shoulder. Maura stayed with Jane until the nausea passed, and she stayed with her every day until Jane was moved to the rehabilitation wing.

While in rehabilitation, Jane was only allowed visitors on Sundays. Every Sunday Jane had a group of people in and out. Frost, Korsak, her mother and Frankie came every Sunday. Tommy came every other Sunday, but Jane was always most excited to see Maura. Since they had reconciled their friendship, Jane could not wait to see Maura. Jane knew she had deeper feelings for Maura than just friendship, but since the "break-up" and eventual "make-up" Jane knew she had to take baby steps. In fact, Jane was more than likely not going to try to push her relationship with Maura past friendship. God, she was lost without Maura in her life and she could not bear losing her again, so if that means never telling Maura her true feelings, so be it. One thing Jane did know was that her mandatory therapy was going to be interesting.

About a week after she began rehab Korsak and Frost questioned her about what had happened and she told them about the big man and his men, how he said that the heroin they confiscated in the case with the dead rats was his, how she cost him money and making her an addict was his revenge. Korsak and Frost started looking for the "big man" with the help of the drug unit. Jane had talked to her court appointed attorney and all the charges were being dropped since she was involuntarily made to be an addict and this led to her actions, plus she was seeking help to get off of the drugs. The plus was that because the charges were all dropped and the underlying circumstances being as they were, Jane still had her job if she wanted it. That gave her hope.

Jane remained in rehab for about two months before she was released back out into the real world.

On the day she was released from rehab, Maura and Angela came to pick Jane up. As they were loading Jane's bag into the car, Maura spoke, "Jane, I want you to come stay with me at my place for a while." Jane was about to protest when Maura raised her hand and continued, "I know you don't want to, you don't want to be a burden, you don't need a babysitter and probably many other excuses you could come up with to not stay, but I really think, as a doctor and friend, that for a little while you should be around people. Angela will be there as will I and we can help you, if you need someone. After a little while and you get comfortable and we see you are doing ok with your treatment, you can go back to your apartment. Alright?"

Jane really hated being fussed over, and she honestly felt like this was a babysitting job, but she also like the idea of staying with Maura. She would see her everyday and that made Jane feel a little excited. "Ok Maura, I will stay, but you and Ma will not fuss over me. And Ma if you baby me and hound me on a daily basis like I know you are capable of doing, I will load up and go to my apartment. Deal?"

Angela was a little surprised Jane did not argue more before she gave in, but she had a sneaking suspicion she knew why Jane did not throw a "Rizzoli" fit.

They stopped a Jane's apartment to grab some of Jane's clothes, and other items, not to mention some of Jo Friday's things. It had been close to nine months since Jane had been in her apartment. Her mother had obviously been here because it was spotless.

Frankie had been taking care of Jo Friday and Jane realized it had been close to nine months since she had seen the little mongrel. She hoped Jo remembered her.

When they pulled up to Maura's and walked in, immediately Jo Friday ran up to Jane and put her front feet on her. Guess she does remember me. Jane put her bag down and reached down and picked up the dog. She rubbed her head and loved on her then set her down. Jane looked around Maura's house. Nothing had changed. It was hard to believe that it had been nine months since Jane had been around all the things that were a common place in her life. Her family, her apartment, her dog, Maura's, Bass, the precinct.

"I have set up the guest room for you. I have also taken a week off from work so I can help you adjust to being back." Maura said.

"Maur, I told you I do not want to be a burden and you do not have to babysit me. Besides, I know they need you at work."

"I told them if they need me to call and I could come in since I am not leaving town. Don't worry Jane, it is under control. Also, do you have a meeting with Lieutenant Cavenaugh this week?"

"Uh, yeah, tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. He wants to talk to me about going back to work and what I have to do to satisfy everybody that I am ok to be back at work."

Maura realized Jane still looked exhausted. She was still very gaunt with dark circles under her eyes. Jane had gained back about ten pounds, but needed to gain back about twenty more. Hopefully eating Angela's cooking will help with that.

"Are your therapy sessions set up?" Maura asked.

"Yeah, every Tuesday at 9:00 a.m. with Dr. Sabrina Howell. I think as part of my returning to work, she will have to do a drug test every meeting too." Jane responded.

"Alright, enough serious talk," Angela said, "let's get Jane's stuff put up and eat a bite." Janie I made you favorite, gnocchi."

Jane leaned over and placed a kiss on her mother's cheek, "thanks Ma," she said. Jane grabbed her bag and made her way to the guest bedroom.

"Just put your things down Jane, and I will help you put everything up later," Maura said.

"Thanks Maur, for everything your doing to help me, I really appreciate it. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but I think with you and even with Ma, that I can do this. I've got to," Jane said as she started tearing up, "if I don't I will lose everything I love and have worked hard for."

Maura crossed over to Jane and grabbed her up in a hug. Maura had tears coming to her eyes. It hurt Maura to see Jane so vulnerable. The old Jane would about die before she got teary eyed and confessed to something as personal as Jane just confessed to. "Jane, you don't have to thank me," Maura said hugging Jane tightly, "I will do anything I can to help you, I hope you know that. And we will get through this and get you back to the bad-ass Jane Rizzoli that everyone loved."

Jane chuckled at the last comment, but was too caught up in the embrace with Maura to care about much more. God, she could get used to being in Maura's arms. Jane buried her nose closer to Maura's neck to be closer to the soft skin there and to smell her shampoo. Jane started rubbing Maura's back with her left hand.

Maura felt Jane move her head closer to her neck. As soon as Jane did, Maura felt Jane's breath on her neck. Jane had also started rubbing Maura's back with her hands and Maura was realizing that her body was reacting in a way it had not reacted in quite a while. Maura moved her nose closer to Jane's neck to take in a deep breath of the essence of Jane. She also started rubbing her hand on Jane's back. Without noticing it, she let out a soft moan at the feel of Jane's breath on her neck.

Jane felt Maura shift closer to her and then felt her hand rubbing her back. Oh, my God. This feels so good. Did I just hear her moan? I do not want to let her go; in fact I just want to start kissing her neck. Jane snuggled a bit closer to where her lips brushed up against Maura's neck.

Oh, dear God in heaven, Maura thought as Jane's lips grazed her neck. Please let her start kissing and sucking on my neck. This feels so good and so right, Jesus what do I do. She just got out of rehab, she's been through a traumatic event; she's my best friend for God's sake. People do not make out with their best friends. I need to pull back and stop this right now. Maura had realized that her feelings for Jane had grown and that they went beyond friendship. Maura would love to be in a relationship with Jane. She was extremely attracted to Jane and just loved spending time with her. Their brief "break-up" had been torture on Maura. Maura wanted Jane in an intimate way, but she knew that this was not the time to pursue that avenue, yet.

Just as Maura was about to pull away, a sound came from the doorway to the guest room.

"Uhhh, girls, lunch is ready," Angela said sheepishly. She had walked up to tell them lunch was ready and saw the girls in the embrace. Angela stood there for a few seconds, long enough to see and hear how they reacted to each other. She knew they loved each other and she knew it was a love that was deeper than friendship. Angela made up her mind that she now had a new project, getting Jane and Maura together as a couple. She would have to be careful with this mission. She sure did not want to do anything to jeopardize the girls' relationship that they did have. This would be a subtle mission, Angela thought as she smiled to herself.

Jane and Maura jumped away from each other at the sound of Angela's voice, just like a pair of teenagers caught kissing by their parents. Jane's face was flush as she said, "Uh, thanks again Maura." Maura, whose face was equally as flushed, simply said, "anytime, Jane, anytime."

Jane had to admit she had really missed her mom's cooking. The food was great and the company of Maura and her mother was wonderful. It felt great to be back with the people who were her life and made her feel so at peace.

"So, Detective Rizzoli is out of rehab and about to get to go back to work. Well, well, she is a lot tougher than I gave her credit," the big man said. "I am going to have to make her recovery harder than she thought it would be. Send J to follow the detective. I need to know where she goes and who is with her at all times. I plan to send a visitor to her when I can catch her alone."

Jane went to her meeting with Cavenaugh. He advised her that she could be reinstated after she has two months clean, and continues to attend counseling and meetings. Jane knew she was lucky to even be getting this chance. She had drugs on her, beat up a cop and cursed a judge; she was surprised they even let her walk back in the door.

As Jane was walking back to see Frost and Korsak and let them know her status, Crowe and few other cops started making comments. "Watch out boys, Rizzoli may break your nose to get her next fix," Crowe said. "High, Rizzoli," another cop named Stevens said while using his thumb and index figure to make it look like he was taking a drag on a joint.

"You guys shut the fuck up," Korsak yelled. "I will report your ass to Cavenaugh on this. You fuckheads know what happened and it is nothing to joke about. Could have happened to you for that matter. You should be trying to help her out instead of acting like fucking teenagers."

"Whoa, calm down Korsak," Crowe said, "just having a little fun. Rizzoli is tough aren't you Rizzoli. She can take a joke, huh?"

Jane knew she would get ribbed. She just hated it, but she had dealt with shit from other officers for so long just because she was damn good at her job and she was a woman. "Crowe, I learned a long time ago to ignore everything that rolls out of your fucking mouth and that hasn't changed." Jane said in true Rizzoli form.

"What are you guys working on?" Jane asked.

"You're not back yet. Go home and rest and when you get back you can go head first into the first case you get." Korsak said.

"Korsak, you know me, I know I am not back, but that does not mean I can't listen and help brain storm. I gotta do something to feel useful and not like a useless slug."

"Well, alright. We got a murder of a twenty-five year old grad student from BCU. No motive as of yet. Dr. Isles is working on the autopsy. She came in off her vacation to do this autopsy."

Jane nodded. "Yeah, she drove me here for my meeting with Cavenaugh. What was his degree in?"

"Chemistry," Frost replied. "Looks like a 9mm shot. Once to the heart. All of his friends said he was a good guy, never been in any trouble, not involved in anything that they are aware of. It is starting to look random."

"Could be, but I hope not. A random kill means that you might have a serial killer if he just kills for fun." Jane said.

"Yeah, we're heading over to his apartment to see what we could find."

"Good luck guys, hopefully I will be back before too long," Jane said just as Maura appeared in the door.

"Here are the autopsy results, Sergeant Korsak. I will not have tox back until tomorrow or the next day, but his cause of death is a gunshot wound to the chest which struck his heart and he bled out. The bullet was a 9mm. I did not see anything else that would help with your investigation at this time. I took some scrapings from his body, but they are still in analysis."

"Thanks, Dr. Isles." Korsak said.

"You ready to go, Jane?" Maura asked.

"Yeah, let's just stop and say hi to Ma."

"Ok."

"See ya later guys," Jane said as she walked out of the room.

"Hey Ma."

"Hey, Janie. How are you doing today? Did you have your meeting with Cavenaugh today?"

"Yeah," Jane replied as she sat down on a stool at the counter next to Maura. "I feel ok, Ma."

"You girls want me to fix you some lunch, or do you girls have other plans for lunch?

Jane looked a Maura and Maura said, "Well, Angela I was going to see if Jane wanted to go out to the Common and grab a bite, maybe walk around, just get out."

"That sounds great, Janie. You and Maura go and relax and have fun. I will fix you girls a good supper tonight. I was thinking I might make your grandma's manicotti."

"Ooh, Ma that sounds awesome. It's been forever since I have had grandma's manicotti."

"Alright, you girls have fun and I will see you later tonight."

"Bye, Ma." "Bye, Angela"

Maura and Jane went to a little bistro located near the Common and Jane had a Reuben sandwich. She was actually enjoying herself. It was a beautiful day. She finally had an appetite again so the food was good, and best of all she was with Maura. Maura looked great. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a loose fitting top with a pair of boots. She looked so casual, but at the same time very classy. Jane could never pull that off. She had to dress up to be classy and then sometimes that did not even work.

Jane and Maura started walking around the common, getting a little exercise, a little fresh air. Jane had the overwhelming urge to reach over and grab Maura's hand, but she refrained. They came upon a bench and sat down.

"How are you doing?" Maura asked.

"I'm good. Really. It feels good to get out and not be cooped up."

"Just to say it again Jane," Maura said as she put her hand on Jane's thigh, "I am here for you if you just want to talk or gripe or whatever."

Jane felt the warmth of Maura's hand and it sent a small electrical current through her. She reached down and took Maura's hand in her own and held it. "I know Maur, and I appreciate it. I really feel pretty good, physically. I sometimes get a craving for that euphoric high, mainly when I feel down or feel self-pity. That euphoric high made me forget all that and I did not feel depressed. That is the hard part I guess, not having that escape."

"Jane, what did you do before the heroin when you felt like that?"

"I don't know, I guess I kinda would drink beer to forget, or I just held it in until it passed."

"You know you are going to have to refrain from alcohol too for quite some time. It could take the place of the heroin as another addiction, especially if it relieves that depressed feeling. Why didn't you just come talk to me when you felt like that?"

Chuckling, Jane said, "Maura, I did not want to burden you with all my crap. Still don't. I am not a whiner and I feel like when you tell people your problems, your whining. I just wanted to deal with my demons myself."

"Jane, you know I want you to "burden" me as you say. I want you to come to me and trust me with your problems. I want to be the shoulder you cry on and I want to help you through whatever it is that is bothering you."

"You weren't there when I needed to talk about how I lost my best friend." Jane responded hating it as soon as it came out, but it was true.

Maura pulled her hand out of Jane's and looked away. Maura knew Jane was right. Maura shut Jane out completely and talking to Jane or having Jane talk to her was the last thing she wanted before Jane was taken. "Jane, all I can say is I am sorry. I know I turned away from you and shut you out, but I was miserable during that time. I know now that it was because you were not in my life. Jane you have become a huge part of my life and when you were out of my life, it was as though I was empty or hollow inside. You weren't there. Your presence and life-force filled me and made me whole. With you gone, Jane, I was a shell of a person. Even before you were taken, I realized I needed to try to reconnect with you, but you were gone before I made the effort. Like I said, I thought you were gone, dead, and that all these feelings I had for you, you would never know I had."

"Maura, I am here now, so tell me, what feelings do you have?"

Maura knew she was in trouble. Great, Jane asked the one question to the one person who could not lie. "Jane, I…I…. I'm afraid to tell you." That was the truth, no hives.

"Why, Maura. I don't plan on going anywhere and I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. You keep telling me I can talk to you, well, you can talk to me. So talk."

"Jane, this is difficult. I am so afraid if we have this conversation that I will lose you again, with no chance of reconciliation."

"Maura, I don't know what you're going to say, but I cannot think of any scenario where I would be so upset that I would leave, end our friendship and never look back, so please, trust me in that and just tell me, what feelings you have for me."

Maura looked down at her hands that she was nervously wringing. She took a deep breath and decided that she would just get it out there and hope Jane did not run away. "I love you, Jane."

"I love you to Maur, so that's it. I am not going to go running."

"No, Jane, you misunderstand, I am in love with you." Maura said looking up into Jane's eyes. "I am in love with you and in a way which goes deeper and further than the friendship we currently have."

Jane just sat there listening to Maura. Jane still did not see the big deal. She loved Maura too. What does the "in love" change? As Jane continued to listen to Maura realization started to creep in. Oh shit, she is in love with me. This means as in a romantic relationship. This means as in sex. She is a woman and Maura is a woman so this means as in a homosexual relationship. But hadn't Jane felt the same way. In fact hadn't she almost kissed her best friends neck yesterday during their embrace? That is not a response to your best friend. Jane knew she felt the same as Maura after she continued to reflect on what she feels around Maura. She loves her quirks, her smell, she is so gorgeous, Jane gets fuzzy feeling just seeing Maura walk in the room, the electrical shock she feels when Maura touches her. Shit, she is in love with Maura. Maura has just put all her cards on the table, Rizzoli, what are you going to do?

As Jane just sat there having her inner dialog Maura was trying to get Jane's attention. "Jane. Jane. Are you o.k.? Did you hear what I said?"

Jane snapped back and realized it had been a while since Maura had confessed her feelings and Jane had not responded. She looked at Maura and saw utter confusion and nervousness all over her friend. She also saw Maura as beautiful in this vulnerable state. Her eyes looked somewhat sad, but full of hope. Jane reached over and took Maura's hand in hers and responded," Maura, I am not running. I have feelings for you that I think are exactly the same. But I have other feelings that I need to work through before I can give you the exact response, but I beg of you please do not leave me because I can't, right now, say the exact thing you said to me. I do not want to lose you and I feel like my feelings are such that I can admit that I love you, more than a friend, but I still have other things I gotta work through. Can you give me that time and not leave me?"

Maura smiled at Jane. She did not know what to expect when she confessed her feelings, but Jane staying and saying that she probably feels the same way but needs to work through some issues was unexpected and was wonderful. Jane had not run and there is a possibility that Jane and Maura could become more than just friends. Maura's heart was racing and her spirits were soaring. "Yes, Jane, I will give you all the time in the world to figure your feelings out," Maura responded leaning her head over onto Jane's shoulder.

Well, well, well, J thought while standing in his hiding place. It seems Detective Rizzoli is in fact in love with her BFF and her BFF is in love with her. This tidbit of information should be very useful.

Angela noticed that things between Jane and Maura seemed to be somewhat different. She couldn't quiet place it, but they seemed to be smiling at each other more and touching each other a little more as they moved around the kitchen. Something may have happened on the "date" to the Common. Angela thought to herself, this may be easier than I thought. Hell I may not even have to get involved which would be great.

"You girls have a good time today?"

"Yeah, Ma. It was great to be out. That was the first time I have been out enjoying the air since before I was taken. I spent six months in a tiny room, then nearly three more in a hospital/rehab setting, so yeah, it was great to get out."

Angela walked over and hugged her daughter. She could not even imagine what all Jane has fought to get back to where she is now. She was so proud of her. "Janie, I am so proud of you," she said with tears welling up in her eyes.

"Ma, don't cry." Jane said as she pulled back to look her mother in the eyes. "I'm ok and I am not going to let anybody break me down." Maura came over to Jane and Angela and put her hand on Jane's back and started rubbing it as Jane talked to her mother. Angela definitely caught the look between the two at that time. Confirmation. Something has transpired between the two, but what. Angela backed up, wiped her eyes and said, "Let's eat."

A few weeks had passed. Jane was going to her mandatory therapy. Maura would take her to her therapy some days, but Jane insisted that everybody start letting her do things on her own, so Jane started taking herself to therapy, she would go for a run by herself, go to the store. In this therapy session, Dr. Howell, asked Jane about her personal life, in particular, her love life. Jane figured at some point this would come up, especially since they met every week. After about the first three, Jane felt like she was running out of things to talk about. She did wish this topic had not come up.

"What about my personal love life?" Jane asked, playing dumb.

"Jane, we have met five times and each meeting is two hours. That's twice as long as most other clients I have and as you know, we talk about everything and your love life is something that is part of you and is important to your over all psychological well-being, so are you seeing anyone? Are you interested in anyone?"

"Doc, I just feel uncomfortable talking about it. I haven't even been able to figure it out myself."

"Well then great, you admitted that there is something you need to figure out, so, out with it. What better place to figure something out than in therapy."

Jane laughed. That was true. "I do have someone that I think I love, in a romantic way, but there are many complications I see if I pursue it."

"Complications exist in every relationship Jane, you should know that. Complications arise in relationships with family and friends. What complications do you feel like would come up if you were to pursue this relationship?"

Jane knew that if she talked about the issues she felt, and if she verbalized her feelings for Maura, then there it would be. It would be real. She and Maura had a great relationship right now and if Jane admitted to wanting more then it could change the great relationship they had now. Damn Jane, this is therapy, talk to your therapist about these fears you dumbass, she thought to herself.

"I am afraid to ruin a great friendship if I pursue the romantic feelings I have, and I would die if I lost the friendship."

"How long have you had romantic feelings for Maura?" Dr. Howell asked.

"How did you know?"

"Jane, for the last five weeks, the one person that you consistently talked about was Maura. And each and every time you spoke about her your face lit up, you body relaxed and you genuinely looked happy. Does not take a genius to figure that out."

"I've had them, I think, for about one and half years. I felt my attraction to her getting stronger and more intense. I would get jealous and hateful whenever she would meet a guy. I would tell her they weren't good enough. I knew they would not treat her how she deserved to be treated."

"And how does she deserved to be treated?"

"Like a queen. Actually, that's her nickname, Queen of the Dead. But she is refined, elegant and so sweet and thoughtful. I can't imagine anyone treating her badly. She would do anything to help out anyone. She would risk her life to save another."

"You two have that in common then."

"What?"

"Well, Detective, you risk your life everyday to save people and you just said Dr. Isles would do the same."

"I mean she is a doctor. She could literally save their life. I've seen her. When people are hurt at a scene, she takes over and tries to save them. She's amazing."

"So, what's the problem, Jane? Why are you not trying to move forward with your relationship? It is obvious to me you are in love with her. How does she feel toward you?"

"She is in love with me. Or at least that is what she said."

"Well, Jane, what is the hold up? I could see a pause if you were worried she did not feel the same, but apparently she has confessed her feelings to you. What is stopping you from telling her you are in love with her and seeing where it leads you two?"

"I am scared. I am scared I am not good enough for her. She's classy, white collar, educated. I am sloppy, blue-collar and uneducated. She could have anyone she wanted. Why me?"

"Well, Jane, sometimes we don't need to question why. If you are correct and she could get anyone she wanted then would you think the person she chose would be who would make her happy."

"I guess."

"Well, Jane, the person who could have anybody chose you. You are the one she chose to be with, you make her happy."

"I had not looked at it that way."

"If I were you, I'd feel proud that she chose me. Is that all that is bothering you, your difference in status?"

"No. My entire life, from school to work at the department, I have fought the perception that I am gay. Everyone has picked on me about it. Lesi, dyke. I've heard and been called all of them. I really don't think I am gay. I am not attracted to women, only Maura. I find that I find men attractive, but Maura has everything. We click on all levels which I normally don't get out of a man. A man does not like my job, or my tough ways. I am not a feminine person, never have been, so I think I intimidate a lot of men. Maura gets me. She does not want to change me, maybe some of my habits, but not me."

"So you are afraid if you are in a relationship with Maura, you verify all the remarks that you have vehemently denied all these years?"

"Yes. I will feel like a liar. Like I lied to all these people and then if I date Maura they can all go 'I told you so'".

"Jane, I could be wrong, but you honestly strike me as an individual that does not care about what people actually say. Yes, you have dealt with the talk because you are in a profession with mainly men and you are better than them at that job. They are always going to say those things because they are jealous of your abilities. I think you could very easily look them in the eye the next time they made a comment about your sexuality and put them in their place. If you are in a great relationship with someone you care deeply for, what else should matter? Those guys are not involved in your relationship, so who really cares what they say. Tell me, what would your partners and family say about you having a relationship with a woman?"

"Well, I think Frost and Korsak would be o.k. They seem to accept me for me, quirks and all, plus they like Maura too, so I think they would be fine with it. I don't know about my family. My family is Catholic. And I may be a bad-ass, but I really don't want to disappoint my family."

"So you think your parents and your brothers would, what, disown you, be disappointed in you?"

"Yeah."

"All because of the religious view on homosexuality?"

"Yeah. My ma is always saying stuff about giving her grandchildren. I could see her being hurt knowing her only daughter would not give her grandchildren."

"Jane, you realize that same-sex couples have children all the time. That does not mean you can't give her grandchildren. Have you talked to your mother about your feelings for Maura at all?"

"No. Like I said, I am scared."

"Well, Jane, time is up for this week, but I want you to do me a favor, please. Talk to your mother. Many people miss out on happiness in life because they make assumptions that they never get verified. Talk to her about homosexuality and get her take on it, you may be surprised."

"I'll try, Doc."

Jane thought about what the doctor said on her way home. What was really keeping her from starting a relationship with Maura? She wanted Maura in a more-than –friendship way and the doctor was right. When did she ever care what any other assholes thought. She knew Frost and Korsak would be fine. She decided she would talk to her mother and see. As for Frankie and Tommy, her gut said that as long as she was happy they would be fine.

When Jane got back to Maura's after therapy, she remembered that her mother was off today. She decided to go to the guesthouse and talk to her mother. She knocked on the door.

"Janie," Angela said as she opened the door, "are you alright?"

"Yeah, Ma. I'm fine. I was wondering if you had time to talk to me for a few?"

"Sure, come in. You want something to eat?"

"Naw, not right now. I just need to talk to you then I may grab a bite."

"Ok, what's up Jane?"

"Ma, how strong is your faith?"

Angela thought that was a strange question to be coming from Jane. Where was this going? "Well, I feel that I am strong, but I falter just like everyone."

"How do you feel about people who sin in the eyes of the church?"

Angela really wished she knew where this was going. She was running everything through her head and of course the one thing that got hung up was suicide. Oh, I hope Jane is not considering suicide and wants to see if I would forgive her if she were to kill herself. "Jane that is a hard question. I don't know, I feel like certain sins, while condemned by the church, may not be as bad, but I think things like suicide is unforgivable and a person would be doomed to an eternal hell as would their family if they were to commit suicide." Angela, although that was really not how she felt, hoped that would scare Jane out of going through with it. She needed to try to call Maura after Jane leaves. No, she is not going to let Jane out of her sight. She would have an intervention and get everybody together to convince Jane to not consider that an option. Angela knew Jane cared for Maura, maybe she could use her to keep her from having thoughts of suicide. "Jane, you know I love you so much and Frankie and Tommy love you too. Your father loves you also and most of all Maura loves you so much. Think about her if something were to happen to you. She would be lost. She was so lost and depressed during the six months you were gone. If she lost you again, I don't think she could get past it."

"Ma, I don't plan on anything happening to me that would cause Maura pain. I don't want to cause anyone pain. How upset was she while I was gone?"

"She moped around, cried, would not eat, became withdrawn like she was before she met you. I was so worried for her. She's like another daughter to me and I tried to help her, make her eat, get her to open up. She was broken, Jane. She really loves you."

"How do you feel about her loving me?"

Another odd question, but ok. "I think it is wonderful, Janie. We all need to be loved and feel love. You two are close and I think Maura would do anything to help you. She is good for you."

"Ma, how would you feel if I loved Maura?" Jane asked keeping her head down and not looking up at Angela.

Angela suddenly had an epiphany. Janie was talking about sin and the church because of the church's stance on homosexuality. Jane wanted to know how she felt about Jane being with Maura. Thank God! About time. Poor Jane, she was probably scared to even talk to me about this. I know she acts tough, but when it comes to disappointing her family, Jane would rather die than to think we were disappointed in her actions.

Angela reached over and took Jane's hands in hers and looked straight into Jane's eyes "Honey, I would be thrilled if you loved Maura. It has been obvious, even before you were taken, that you two had feelings for each other. I don't think you two realized it, but the rest of us around you noticed."

"What are you saying, Ma?"

"I'm saying that me, Frankie, Tommy, Frost and Korsak have all wondered when you two were going to realize your feelings and act on them. You both love each other so much and it is real, Jane, I have seen it. I don't care about a church's stance on this. I have seen how happy you two are around each other and that is all I need. If you were afraid I would be disappointed, I am not, but I will be if you do not do something to move your relationship forward. You know, you and Maura are not getting any younger and I want grandbabies."

Jane laughed and could not believe what her mother had just said. Not only is her mother ok with her and Maura as a couple, but Frankie, Tommy Frost and Korsak are ok with it too. 'Jane stood up and grabbed her mother's face with both hands and kissed her. "Thank you so much, Ma. This means the world to me." Jane stood and left the guesthouse to go back to the main house. Maura would be home shortly and they had a lot to discuss.

When Maura walked through the door, she smelled a wonderful smell. Angela must have been cooking. When Maura walked into the kitchen area, she noticed candles were lit all over the room, in fact they were the only source of light. She glanced over to the bar and saw a couple of wine glasses and a bottle of wine. Just then Jane came walking down the hall from the guestroom. She was dressed in a deep purple button up shirt and a pair of black slacks. She looked amazing. "Hey Jane, what's going on here?"

Jane walked over to Maura, took her by the hand and led her over to the bar. "Here, have a glass of wine and relax. I cooked us some lasagna and garlic bread. I made a salad just so I can eat something green to make you happy."

"Jane, you did not have to do all of this, but you are correct, you need to eat more greens. They provide fiber and many beneficial antioxidants and nutrients."

Jane could not help but laugh at Maura's science spiel. God, she really loved this woman and it was great to know that everyone would support their relationship. "Maur, I just wanted to do something nice for you, for everything you have done for me. Come on, sit down and I will wait on you."

They ate their meal and talked about the day. Jane asked Maura if they had any leads on the BCU grad student that was killed. Maura said that trace found some chemicals on his clothes that were consistent to some used in the manufacturing of illegal drugs. The theory is that he was helping a drug dealer and somehow messed up and was killed, but they have not found the killer yet. They talked about Jane's case. Marua told her that they were still trying to find all the guys Jane talked about, but they were pretty sure that the "big man" was Anthony Benicci. He was a big time drug dealer who, according to narcotics was starting to deal with China on getting heroin. They were tracking down more leads on Benicci, such as companies owned, real estate owned, close acquaintances, etc.

"Well, I'm glad their making progress. I can't wait to get back. I am so bored not having anything to do. I only have a couple more weeks until my two months is up and I can be reinstated."

"I know you are looking forward to getting back to work Jane, just promise me that if you have any reservations or feel like you need more time, you will take it."

"I will Maur, but I am really ready to go back to work. Oh, before I came home today I drove over to apologize to the officer that I broke his nose and to the Judge I cursed out. They were really nice about it and wished me the best."

"That's great, Jane."

Jane got up and started clearing the table. Maura got up and was trying to help. "Maura, go sit down on the couch, I'll be there in just a second, ok."

As soon as she finished, Jane walked over with her glass of tea, no alcohol for Jane.

She sat down on the couch. "You want to watch a movie?"

Maura kicked off her heels and replied, "Yes. What are we watching?"

"I don't know. What sounds good?"

"Just put one in, I am happy just sitting here with you." Maura said.

Jane felt her stomach flutter as Maura said she was happy just being there with her. She settled for good love story, just to set the mood.

Jane sat back down next to Maura and started the movie. After about the first thirty minutes, Maura moved a little closer to Jane. Jane moved a little toward Maura and put her arm around Maura's shoulders. She began rubbing circles on Maura's shoulder. Maura could feel the electricity and heat coming from Jane. God, this taking it slow while Jane figures things out is killing her, but she will not do anything to jeopardize where they may be moving. She did decide that she could put her arm behind Jane's lower back without causing Jane to run out the door, so that is what she did. She then subconsciously began rubbing circles on Jane's lower back at the same pace Jane was rubbing her shoulder.

Jane became highly aware of the touch and the rubbing. Her whole body began to get hot as she felt her body reacting to Maura's touch. Jane looked down at Maura who had laid her head on Jane's shoulder. She kept staring until Maura felt eyes on her and happened to look up toward Jane's face. Jane could see the love in Maura's beautiful face. This wonderful, sweet, gorgeous woman wanted Jane and Jane wanted her.

"Maur," Jane said as she started leaning down toward Maura's lips, "you are so beautiful and I just want to tell you that I am in love with you too," she finished right before she placed a warm, loving kiss on Maura's lips. The kiss started out slow, and loving, but began increasing in intensity. Tongues were testing new territory as they continued to kiss on the couch. Jane turned and pushed Maura back onto the couch so she was lying on top of her. When they took a break to catch their breath, Maura whispered in an out of breath tone, "I love you, Jane Rizzoli." That spurred Jane on and she took Maura's lips again, with more passion. Jane moved down to Maura's neck and began kissing on the soft skin she wanted to kiss in that embrace when she first got out of rehab. She nipped and sucked the sweet skin, taking in Maura's smell. Maura was letting out uncontrollable moans as Jane continued to nip and suck on her neck. Maura took her hands and pulled Jane's shirt out from her pants and then ran her hands up on Jane's tight stomach. The touch was more than Jane, was expecting as she groaned into Maura's neck. Jane felt Maura's hands coming up and start unbuttoning her shirt. Maura pushed the shirt off and threw it in the living room floor. She was surprised to see that Jane did not have on a tank top, but had a sexy black lacy bra. Jane reached down and took the bottom hem of Maura's shirt and began lifting it off of Maura. Once it was off she threw it in the living room floor. Jane looked down at Maura's gorgeous breasts and knew at that very moment she loved her more than anybody in the world. "I love you so much, Maura Isles, and I want to spend every day in your arms," Jane said as she took Maura's lips again. Maura pulled back and said, "I love you more than life itself, Jane Rizzoli, and I want you in my arms every day." They continued to kiss and feel the new territory of each other's body. As the make-out session began to get more heated, Jane stopped, stood up, and reached her hand out to Maura and said, "Let's take this elsewhere so we can be comfortable and more private. My mother is prone to midnight raids in the kitchen." Maura laughed and took Jane's hand in hers. Maura turned and led Jane up to her bedroom, where they shut and locked the door.

They spent all night showing each other how much they loved the other. This was new to both of them and they learned together which made the experience even more intimate. After hours of love making, they drifted off to sleep in each other arms.

They awoke the next morning more relaxed than either of them had been in a long time. Jane could not remember the last time she slept the night through without waking up from a nightmare or a sound that startled her. It felt great to actually sleep. She looked over and saw Maura curled up next to her. She reached over and placed a light kiss on her cheek as she slid out of the bed to go the bathroom. "Don't leave," Maura said. "I'm not, hon, but I have to pee and it is time to get up so you are not late to work." Jane responded.

As Jane came out of the bathroom, Maura was getting up out of the bed. Jane looked at her. She was naked and gorgeous. It was all Jane could do not to throw Maura back on the bed and go for round 12, she thought, kinda lost track last night. As Maura walked by to go to the bathroom to shower she reached up and kissed Jane. "Umm, that was nice. What was it for?" Jane asked. "Because I can," Maura said with a mischievous grin as she walked into the bathroom. Jane yelled back toward Maura, "You might need to cover up that place on your neck. Looks like a big mosquito sucked on it." Jane laughed. Maura yelled back, "and that mosquito is named Jane. Shame on you Jane, I am going to have to put on my concealor to cover this when I put on my make-up."

Jane was getting dressed, when Maura came out of the bathroom. Jane was ready to go back to work, but she still had a few days left. Maura went about her business of getting dressed for work. Jane lay back on the bed and stared at Maura. She honestly was proud of the hickey she put on Maura. She marked Maura as hers. God, Maura was sexy. She could totally get used to this. Jane suddenly realized that she could smell something. "Shit, I think that I smell something and it smells like breakfast which means Ma is downstairs."

"Is that a problem? Are we hiding us, our relationship?" Maura asked.

"No, I already talked to Ma about us. She's fine. It's just that I wanted it to be just me and you right now. I really don't want to tell everybody until later if that is ok?"

"That's fine Jane. When did you talk to your mother about us?"

"Yesterday. That was one of the issues I had to deal with Maura, and it took me a while to work up the courage to talk to her. She was ok with me being in love with you and supported me. It was great to know she would support us."

"That is great Jane. I know that eased your mind."

"Well, let's go see Ma, shall we."

Downstairs Angela was cooking her girls a big breakfast. She knew that after their talk yesterday that Jane was probably going to tell Maura, and if she did, that would probably lead to a very long, active night and from the discarded clothing in the living room, Angela knew the night went well.

"Hey, Ma." Jane said as she walked into the room with Maura right behind her.

"Hey, honey. Hey, Maura. I made you two breakfast. I hope you enjoy. So, did you two have a good night?"

"Ma! Where did that come from?"

"Well Janie, I am just guessing that you two had a good night since you seem to have left some of your clothing lying in the living room floor. Oh, and then there is also the nice mark Maura seems to have on her neck. You know Jane, you know better than to be so trashy. Maura is a classy lady and now you put a hickey on her."

"Ma, can we please not discuss this right now."

"Fine," Angela said coming around to Jane, "but just so you know, I am very happy for you two. I am glad you finally figured it out." She said as she hugged Jane.

"And Maura," Angela said while leaning over to hug her too, "I do want grandbabies."

"Ma! Please."

"Ok, ok, I'm leaving, but I am very happy you two are together," Angela said as she walked out the door.

"Your right, she seems to be very ok with us being together." Maura said.

"Yeah. I am so glad. Now I just have to tell Frankie and Tommy and the guys. I figure ma may beat me to it. Oh well," Jane said getting up walking over to Maura and reaching around her to hug her tight, "at least I can do this when I want to." Then Jane pulled back just enough to kiss Maura so tenderly. Maura felt herself getting weak in the knees.

"Yes, Jane you can do that whenever you feel the need, but right now I have to get ready for work."

The next week went by relatively fast and uneventful. Jane and Maura explored their new relationship as often as possible, except Jane was more careful about leaving marks on her beautiful girlfriend. Thankfully Maura was able to hide the last mark until it faded and no one said anything to her. Maura and Jane had not said anything about their relationship to Frost or Korsak or Frankie for that matter, and apparently Angela was respecting their privacy because she had not told anyone, that Jane was aware of. Before she starts back to work next week, Jane thought she would invite everybody to dinner and tell everybody about her and Maura.

Today was her therapy day, and Jane was actually looking forward to going and telling Dr. Howell about her new relationship with Maura. Maura had left early to go in and work on some paperwork before she performed an autopsy. They were going to meet for lunch at the café and visit with Angela for a little while.

As Jane was getting out of her car in the parking garage at her therapist's office, she was approached by a large, muscular man who looked vaguely familiar.

"Can I help you?" Jane said rather sarcastically.

"Hello Detective, long time no see," the man replied.

"Do I know you?"

"Ouch, detective, it pains me that you don't remember me, of course you were rather doped up."

Fear gripped at Jane's body. She remembered him now. He was the man who hit her when she was sitting in the chair after being taken. Oh God, not again, why won't they leave me alone. "What do you want with me, now? Your boss succeeded in fucking up my life, now what?"

"Well, he feels like you recovered a little too quickly and things were not as bad as they should have been."

Jane thought about the withdrawal and the pain she was in both emotionally, and physically. She did not think she could make it through all of that again. Jane turned away from the man and started walking toward her appointment. She really wished she had her gun on her, but it was at the precinct. She would be getting it back in a week.

"Detective, I know you are not happy to see me, but I think you should come with me."

"Really," Jane said as she turned around, "you mean this time I get the choice of rather I want to go with you. Well, I pass. Thanks for the offer, but I am very busy you know going to therapy to get over my HEROIN ADDICTION, you bastard." She yelled.

"Fine, guess I will just tell the boss to start on Dr. Isles. Let her know that her girlfriend could care less what happens to her."

Jane froze in her tracks. Her heart started racing as she turned. "What did you say?"

"Yeah, Dr. Isles is visiting with my boss now, and if you do not come back with me, well let's just say he may do more than talk to her."

Jane could not help it. She was scared and pissed off. She ran at the man as hard as she could to tackle him down. She hit him square in the chest, and knocked them both down, but that was as far as she got. He grabbed her arms and twisted them both behind her with one arm and used his other fist to pop her upside the head. She slumped down feeling the swimmy feeling you get before you pass out. As she headed into oblivion she whispered, "Maura."

When she woke up she was sitting in a room with a bunch of people. She was trying to focus as everything was still blurry. As things began to come into focus she could see all the guys that were with her when she was first taken. She saw the big man over by the glass window or mirror. He had his back to her looking down. As he moved Jane saw what he had been looking down at; Maura. Maura sat in a chair tied and gagged. She did not appear to have any physical marks on her, but Jane could not be sure.

"Ah, Detective Rizzoli, nice to see you again. I have been chatting with your girlfriend here about how you recovered nicely from you last stay with us. Too nicely for my liking which is why you are back. I think that you have been craving a hit so I am going to let you have that which you crave. I also bet you crave your pretty girlfriend here. The boys got excited when she was brought in. They all feel they can, how does it go, be a real man so as to flip her back."

Jane was pissed off to no end. "Leave her alone," she yelled. "You got me, let her go."

"Well, true, but that would not be any fun. I think I am going to love playing this new game. See, I am going to let you shoot yourself up. I am not even going to force the drug on you. But the catch is you have to shoot up to keep Dr. Isles from being hurt. So the rules are if J over there is about to hurt Dr. Isles, be it slap her, hit her with a fist, taze her, use other means of torture, if you shoot up, Dr. Isles does not get hurt. See you get to make the choice this time on whether you shoot up."

"You fucking bastard. Let her go, just take me and kill me if that's what you want."

"No, I told you I wanted to make you pay by inflicting pain in your life. I underestimated you before so this time I plan to make you suffer by watching the one person you love more than anything suffer. Yeah, Detective Rizzoli, she may not suffer physically, but she will get to watch you put that syringe in your arm and poison yourself. Oh this will be so fun. Well, I must go, enjoy your stay here Detective," the big man said as he walked away.

J walked over to the table and place a syringe on it with a rock of heroin and a lighter and spoon. He then walked over to Maura and pulled the gag out of her mouth. They wanted to hear the pleas that she would make to Jane. Maura was crying as she looked at Jane. Jane felt powerless. The only thing she could do to protect Maura was take the drug. J walked over to Maura with a taser in his hand and said, "Well detective, you going to take a hit or is the doctor." He laughed at his joke.

Jane got up and walked over to the table. She picked up the heroin, lighter and spoon.

"No!" Maura cried. "Please, Jane don't do that. Don't do that to yourself. I can take it."

Jane looked at Maura with tears in her eyes. "Maura, I have to. I can't let them hurt you because of me. I will not let that happen." Jane put the drug in the spoon and lit the lighter below. When the rock turned to liquid, she picked up the syringe and drew the drug up into it. She reached over to the only good vein left in her left arm and inserted the syringe and pushed the drug into her system.

Maura was crying and yelling no during this whole time. Jane looked over to Maura and said "I love you," as she felt the drug taking the usual effect. She slumped against the wall feeling high as a kite. God, she actually missed this feeling. Here we go again. Jane talked to J and Maura for a few minutes until she felt the inevitable drowsiness coming on and slumped over passed out. When she came too about an hour later, she looked over to see J standing next to Maura with his fist held back. "You got a choice Detective, the drug or I hit her as hard as I can in her pretty face."

Jane crawled over to the table and repeated the same steps as before. She looked a Maura as she inserted the needle and released the drug. Maura was crying uncontrollably, begging Jane not to take the drug, begging the man to stop, Jane would die, to please let them go. Jane heard Maura begging as she passed back out.

When Dr. Isles did not make it to work, Korsak called her cell to check on her. She did not answer. Angela walked up to Korsak with a worried look on her face. "Sergeant Korsak, I am worried about Jane. She was supposed to be at her mandatory therapy session at 9, but her therapist called and asked where she was. Jane would not miss her appointment. It was the next to last one before she would be reinstated."

"When did you last see her?"

"Last night when I cooked dinner for her and Maura."

"Dr. Isles is not here either. She was supposed to perform an autopsy at 10, but she never came in. I don't like it. Come on Frost, let's head over to Jane's therapist."

When Frost and Korsak arrive at the therapist's, the first thing they noticed was Jane's car. As they approached the car and started looking around, they noticed a speck of blood. When Frost got down to look under the car, he found a cell phone. He picked it up and opened the phone. It was not Jane's. It had only six numbers in it.

"Korsak, I want to get back to see if I can track the numbers on this phone. I feel like it may belong to the person that took Jane. Maybe we could find her if I can track the other numbers."

"OK, I'll call headquarters and have crime scene tech come process, you drive on back."

Jane roused from about her fourth drug induced pass out. This time, she saw J had a scalpel next to Maura's neck. The scene reminded her of the time in the prison when Hoyt had a scalpel to Maura's neck. "Pleeeeease don't cut her," Jane slurred.

"You know what to do, detective."

Jane reached over to the table and grabbed the paraphernalia and began her new ritual. She pulled her pants down so she could put the shot in her thigh. Her arms were shot. Jane was barely able to function. They were not letting her come out from under the first hit before making her take another. Jane knew she was headed for an overdose if this continued. She injected her leg and looked back at Maura. She saw fear in Maura's eyes and she knew Maura knew Jane could not last much longer.

"Please, Jane. Don't take anymore. You are going to overdose. Please. I can take some of this pain to save you. You do it for me all the time. Please Jane, no more." Maura said while crying.

"Love you," Jane mumbled before she was out again.

She felt someone shaking her, rousing her from her stupor. "Wakey, wakey Detective." It was J. "Time to play." He walked over to Maura and began to unzip his pants. He then reached down and pushed Maura's legs apart and began to push her skirt up.

Jane could not even sit up. She saw the scene unfolding and knew if she did not take this hit, Maura would be raped. She also knew that if she took this hit, it may be the last thing she does because she is very close to an overdose now and more than likely this would be the hit that put her over. She had a brief thought about Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin. Sadly their lives were cut short by heroin overdoses. Oh well, hopefully Maura will be safe. Jane propped herself up just enough to get the drug and fix it. She bent down and sloppily injected the syringe and released the drug. She looked back to Maura, and with all the love in her heart she lovingly looked at her and said "I love you, Maurrrrrrrrrrrr," and then she was out.

"No!" Maura screamed. She knew that was too much for Jane's body. They had been making her shoot up so often that the levels of the drug were building up in her system. If she did not get to hospital soon, Jane would die. Just as Maura had given up on any chance to save Jane, a loud crash came through the door to her left. A bunch of guys wearing swat gear came bursting in and took out J.

"They're in here," she heard one say. About ten seconds later Frost and Korsak came through. Frost was untying Maura while Korsak went over to Jane. "Hurry, we need an ambulance. Jane has overdosed and she needs to be in the hospital now." Maura yelled running over to Jane. Maura reached down and took her pulse. It was extremely slow and Jane was sweating profusely. Her body would shut down if they did not get her to the hospital in the next few minutes.

"There is an ambulance here." Korsak said about the time some EMT's walked through the door. They came over and Maura told them what happened. The EMTs administered Naloxone to Jane to counter act the narcotic. They loaded Jane up and sped to the closest hospital. Maura jumped out and went in with the EMTs. She got Jane admitted and the nurses and staff took Jane back to a room because by this time, the Naloxone had pushed Jane into withdrawal.

Maura went back to the room with Jane. Jane had already started vomiting violently. The nurses were starting to administer her IV to keep her from dehydrating. Maura stood by Jane as she vomited and dry heaved for about two hours. They finally administered some methadone to stop the withdrawal symptoms.

Jane was lucky they were able to counteract the heroin and get her to the hospital, but now she had to start her recovery over. Maura was both relieved and extremely angry at the situation. She left Jane's room while Jane was resting to go talk to the family.

"Maura! How is my Janie?" Angela asked fearfully.

"She's ok, Angela, but she is in for another uphill battle to overcome this drug use. But, the good thing is that she is alive and no harm was done to her body that the doctors could find."

"Korsak, did they get the bastard that did this?" Maura asked.

"Yeah. It was Anthony Benicci."

"How did you find us?"

"Well, Frost is brilliant with technology. We found a cell phone under Jane's car. Frost took it and looked at the numbers in it. There were only six. He then searched those numbers and used GPS tracking on those numbers to find the phones, all of which were found at the warehouse where we found you."

"I am so glad you got there when you did or Jane would have died," Maura said with tears welling up in her eyes.

"It's ok doc, she's one tough cookie to crack."

Maura stayed by Jane's side while she was recuperating at the hospital. The withdrawal symptoms had passed and Jane was about to be released.

"You sure you don't need to go back for rehab, Jane?" Maura asked.

"No, I think I will be ok. I got you and Ma, plus I am going to keep seeing Dr. Howell. I think I can make it past this, but if I feel like I can't, I will let you know and we can figure out what to do."

"Here's your release papers, Ms. Rizzoli," the doctor said as he entered the room. "I sure am glad we were able to get to you in time and I sure hope nothing like this ever happens to you again."

"You and me both, Doc." Jane replied.

When Jane got back to Maura's she was exhausted and her thoughts raced. Why would anybody get themselves addicted to drugs? Jesus, that was a whirlwind of ups and downs. One thing I do know, I have more respect for recovering addicts now. They have fought one hell of a fight.

"Jane, honey, are you ok?" Maura asked.

"Yeah, just thinking. I gotta call Cavenaugh to see how this is gonna effect my going back to work. I'm sure I just got some more paid vacation time. Damn it, I'm ready to go back to work."

"Maybe he won't make it too long."

"Jane, Angela wanted to know if you felt up to having a dinner tonight."

"You know, some real food and to see my friends and family actually sounds good," Jane said reaching out to put her arms around Maura's waist. "We actually have some news to tell everybody if I am not mistaken." Jane said as she pulled Maura closer and kissed her tenderly.

"Ooh, Detective you are correct," Maura responded pulling back from the kiss. "You know, it is only ten in the morning and dinner is not till tonight, do you have enough energy for some slight physical activity?" Maura asked with a devilish grin on her face.

"Oh, I think I have plenty of energy, but Dr. Isles I doubt the physical activity will be slight." Jane responded while following Maura to their bedroom.

Everybody was at the dinner. Frost, Korsak, Tommy and Frankie. Jane was glad. She loved these people and she wanted to share with them her new relationship status, plus she wanted to thank them for being great friends and family. When she knew she was going to die, she remember how sad she felt that she would not see, hear, or touch any of them again, especially Maura. But she has gotten yet another chance to live her life to the fullest. She realizes that she is still working on climbing that mountain of addiction, and she knows that with the help of the people here at the table, she will succeed, and for that she was eternally grateful.

After everyone was finished getting their helpings of the wonderful lasagna Angela fixed and were about to begin eating, Jane interrupted. "Before you start eating, I want to make a toast. I want to toast all of you here tonight. My friends, my family without you I would not be where I am right now. You each have given me the strength to fight and to not give in to the weakness. I also want to thank one special person in my life, for without her I know I would not be here tonight. She is my guiding light and her love and my love for her is what gave me strength to not give in to the addiction. Maura, you mean so much to me, that words could not even express. I hope that as we grow together in our relationship that I am able to give to you the love and strength you need to get you through any dark times you may have just like you have done for me." Jane finished as she leaned over and gently, yet passionately kissed Maura.

Maura had tears in her eyes as she hugged Jane tight and told her she loved her. "So, I take it you two are together now?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah, Tommy, what gave it away, the kiss or my speech about loving her?"

Everyone laughed.

"Congratulations you two." Korsak said.

"About time," said Frost.

"I love you Janie and I am glad you're happy." Frankie said.

"I love you both," Angela said.

Maura looked at Jane and said, "Jane, you are the strongest person I know, and I only hope I can give you the internal strength you have given me." Jane leaned over and kissed Maura again.

Looking around at the people sitting at the table, Jane realized she was one very lucky woman.