Max
1995
I
have found you. You've been living in another town for many, many
years but now you're back in Roswell. Here with me and Isabel. Where
you belong. Tomorrow we'll show you the desert, brother. I just
hope that you'll learn to love it the same way I do.
1996,
Spring break
In the sand I write two words. 'Friends forever'.
Isabel laughs and her eyes are bright but you just stand there
silently, like a statue. What do you see in the future? Isabel hugs
you hard. You smile at her, then grab her doll and run out in the
desert. Isabel chases after you. I stay behind. Watching.
1997
I
wake up in the middle of the night and you are there. Curled up on my
floor. Again. I sit up and watch you while you sleep. There's small
waterdrops on your cheeks. It must be raining outside. But in my
heart I know that it never rains in Roswell.
1998,
Summer vacation
You, me and Isabel. Isabel has brought food and
blankets and your eyes are bright when you show us a bottle of
whiskey. Stolen from Hank, I guess. We all eat, you and Isabel drink.
I empty my glass into the red sand when you're not watching. We laugh
at each other, me and Isabel. But you just smile a little. Why is it
that you never laugh, Michael?
1999.
Autumn
Me and Liz are in bed. Her body is soft against mine. She
loves me. And I love her. It feels as if it's gonna last forever.
Suddenly she turns around and smiles at me. She tells me that I'm her
best friend. I tell her that she's my best friend too. But it's a
lie. And if you were here, you'd know it.
1999-200,
New Year's Eve
You're drinking again. You're much nicer when
you're drunk. That's probably why Maria is smiling at you. You've
drawn a picture of her on a napkin. Her nose is too big but, just
like you, she's too drunk to notice. You take another big gulp out of
the bottle. The way you smile at me reminds me of Hank.
Michael
1995
I
have found my brother. His name is Max Evans and he told me that he
and Isabel has been waiting for me forever and ever. I wonder if it's
true? He promised to take me to see the desert -- the place where we
once came from. He doesn't know that I've been seeing the desert in
my dreams every night for an eternity.
1996,
Spring break
'Friends forever.' Oh, Max. Don't you know that
nothing lasts forever? Not love, not friendship -- not anything. But
I know you mean well. I know you're just trying to be my friend. And
I suppose in a way, it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'm gonna
live forever anyway.
1997
I
cry myself to sleep on Max' floor. I muffle the sound of my tears
against his sweater, I don't want to wake him. I hate Hank for making
me look weak and stupid in front of Max. I curl up on the floor and
try to come up with a good excuse for tomorrow.
1998,
Summer vacation
Max is worried about me. I can see it in his eyes.
His concern is like a soft blanket. At night, in the trailer, it
keeps me from freezing. I give him the bottle of whiskey I've
stolen from Hank for just this occasion but he just passes it on to
Isabel. I try to keep the pain from showing. Why can't I ever make
him happy?
1999, Autumn
Maria is watching me. She's such a beautiful person and I wish I could love her like she loves me. But I don't. I reach out to touch her and she smiles. Sometimes I think she knows me better than I do myself. I want to tell her that I will always be her friend, that I will always protect her and care for her. But I know that's not what she wants to hear so I say nothing.
1999-2000,
New Year's Eve
I don't remember much of New Year's Eve. But I
still know what happened. I can see it in Max' eyes as he frowns at
me. I ask him not to say a word, to just be quiet and leave me alone.
He doesn't. Just sits down next to me without a sound. I know what
he's thinking and he's right. In a way, I've become what I hate the
most. Hank. Oh, Max forgive me for being so stupid, okay? I just hope
this won't be the end of your promise of forever.
THE END