A/N:
Hee hee... I was feeling bored so I wrote this. It's not even that funny but it was my random thoughts strung into sentences :P...happy reading!
On with the fic...
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Dear Santa,
I am Harry. Harry POTTER. I'll tell you right off the bat that you don't really have a choice whether you are bringing me what I want for Christmas or not. If you don't, I'll jump off a cliff and Voldemort will take over the world and kill all the good children and you won't have a job! Ha Ha! Beat that! In your face! Well anyways, here is my Christmas List:
-A FireBolt Inifinity
-A quidditch set with all the pieces made from gold and silver and studded with lots of jewels
-A superman outfit! After all, I am THE Harry Potter flashes sexy grin
-A six pack...I NEED them Santa! Give them to me! I need them to save the world! Or all the good kids are DOOMED! And you'll be out of business!
Then your elves will go on strike!
-Autographs from the entire Chudley Cannon's team
-A fanclub...I need to get lots of love and support SOMEWHERE! So give me a fucking fanclub! With lots of hot girls!
-Sirius! HE MUST COME BACK TO ME! SIRIUS LOVE! COME BACK!
-A lock of my love's hair...oh Severus Snape! I love you baby! I need that lovely HOT greasy oily slimy hair NOW!
-Dudley's head on a platter
-Uncle Vernon's head transfigured into a rats ass
-Aunt Petunia joining those pratty long necked giraffes in the zoo...WHERE SHE BELONGS! Btch!
-My face on one of those chocolate frog cards! I'm the boy who fucking lived! I deserve it!
-Those pink and purple spandex shorts Uncle Vernon wouldn't get me
-A HAREM! Oh yea!
-A pair of contacts (I know that you are thinking that I am handsome with glasses anyway and why thank-you for that! But I would look even better with contacts. Don't you think? Yea!)
-Scratch that! Lots of normal contacts and coloured ones! Yea! Glasses are too lame for my hot self!
-A pair of mismatched socks so I don't have to waste my own money on that silly house elf Dobby
-Free plastic surgery for Hermione...she needs it! I can't have one of my best friends looking so mousey! And it would make me look bad if I stopped being her friend!
-A brain for Ron, he makes me look good with this stupidity but I need you to give him enough of a brain to stop getting on my nerves!
-A ministry blocked spell administered on my wand...then I can turn that snobby prat back into a ferret!
-Oh and!! CHO CHANG!
Well Santa...I didn't really ask for much, you should be able to manage! Now GET TO WORK! I NEED these REALLY soon! Or I swear I'll jump of that bloody cliff god dammit! Bwhahahaha! XD
Your Idol and Hero,
Harry James Potter
P.S Hermione said you are not real! So go ahead! Don't give me my stuff! I'll jump of a cliff AND tell the world that you're a fake!
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A/N:
Next up is HERMIONE! Heh...hers will be better! I promise! PLEASE REVIEW! I'm a review WHORE! Lolz! Wait...didn't Hermione say that she didn't believe in Santa? What's up with that? Read the next chapter! Then you'll see .
XOXO...Otaku Sae