Bellamy found her grave effortlessly and settled himself next to it, running his fingers over the words he had memorized long before.
Clarke Griffin-Blake
Daughter, Friend, Fiancée
May We Meet Again
"Hey, Princess," he said, smiling slightly. "How are you? Still beautiful, I bet." He paused, willing himself not to cry. "Well, happy sixth wedding anniversary, I guess. It's June 18th, the day you set the wedding as. You were so excited."
He paused again, tracing the letters in the gravestone yet again, smiling at the memory of Jake and Abby Griffin surprising him with the hyphenated name. Clarke had always thought Clarke Blake sounded ridiculous.
"I think you'd be proud of me, Princess. I was promoted to the head of my department in the FBI since last year. And…and I have a girlfriend. But don't worry, she understands about us. She lost her husband while he was in Iraq, and that's probably the only reason we're able to date. We both know that we've already had the loves of our lives. Because no matter how hard we might try, she'll never be any kind of Clarke and I'll never be like her Atom. But you told me to move on, get married, and have kids. The thing is, Princess, I can't imagine having kids that don't have curly blonde hair or blue eyes or your little button nose."
Another pause. He dug the pictures out of his pocket. "Octavia and Jasper just had little twin boys. Their names are Carter and Monty. I think O wanted to name Carter after you, but she also wanted to leave the name Clarke for me just in case I ever have kids. Monty is named after Monty, who even in death helped Jasper meet his wife. Jasper actually had me carve on the back of his tombstone: the ultimate wingman. But I guess you saw that, considering it happened right there. I wish you could've met Jasper. You would've thought he was cute, like a little brother." Bellamy knew that Jasper had, in fact, talked to Clarke before, or at least he had talked to her gravestone. He had seen him, but had decided to leave and allow Jasper time with Clarke. She was just as responsible for his meeting Octavia as Monty. Bellamy was glad Octavia had been given the task of choosing the plot for Clarke's final resting place.
"O had some pretty serious complications during the birth, though. She really thought she was going to die for a minute. She told me that at least she would get to see you when I was with her. Later, she said you were in the C-section room and you saved her. I don't doubt it, Doctor Clarke."
He dug the small, bone shaped tag out of his pocket. "And…Charlotte died recently. I cried my eyes out, but she had bone cancer and she lived a happy life. I'm sure she was happy to see you again. She was always your baby. I miss her, but I don't think I'll get another dog anytime soon. It was sort of your thing." He smiled fondly. "Just looking. Tired of your bullshit, Griffin."
He smiled, allowing the tears to slide down his face. He glanced at his watch. "I actually don't have a lot of time, Princess. I have another graveyard to visit today…Atom's, actually. I came here for a reason. The girl I met…I love her. It's different than it was with you, of course, but I want to marry her. I came for your permission, and so that you would know. I still wear the wedding band I bought for our wedding, but…but I've started using the chain. I know you wanted me to do this, and I finally feel like I can. I'll love you forever, Princess."
He wiped the tears from his eyes and reached around the gravestone to trace the engraving he had chiseled in later. Forever My Brave Princess.
"I'm happy, can't you see? I'm alright, but I miss you, Clarke."
The clock blinked 5:15. He wished he could go back to sleep, but he couldn't sleep past the feeling of overwhelming grief pressing at his chest. Octavia had brought the suit to him the day before, and it sat neatly pressed and hanging innocently on the door to his closet. He thought about wearing his tux, but he couldn't bring himself to taint a suit that was supposed to represent something so happy with something so heartbreaking.
He glanced at the nightstand and was able to summon a small smile for the picture sitting there. It had been taken by Octavia on a camping trip only three months before, over Labor Day weekend. His arm was slung around Clarke and she was grinning happily. The lake behind them glittered but still Clarke was the prettiest thing in the picture.
He dragged himself out of bed and was greeted by Charlotte, his and Clarke's dog and essentially her baby. He bent down to pet the Pit Bull mix and she whined slightly. He sighed.
"She's not coming back, Charlotte." Charlotte whined again and placed her big head on Bellamy's lap, still looking up at him with big puppy eyes. "She can't come back, Char. You want to go for a walk?" Her tail thumped once at the familiar word. "Come on, Charlotte."
He grabbed her leash and together they ventured out to the chilly November air. Bellamy grimly tried to brace himself for the inevitability of the day. They wandered into an empty park and Bellamy let Charlotte loose to run around. He sat down and watched the stars fade.
"Clarke loved the stars," he said to no one. At the mention of her missing mommy, Charlotte raced over to Bellamy and sat, shaking and whining hopefully, glancing around and then back up at Bellamy. Bellamy held back tears, figuring he would shed enough later. "She did, Char. Now, she's among the stars. That's where she deserves to be, but I'll let you in on a little secret." He patted the spot next to him on the bench and Charlotte obediently hopped up and lay down, resting her head on Bellamy's lap. "I wish she could've stayed down here, with us."
Charlotte let out a whine of agreement and they sat there for a long time before going back to the house. Bellamy had just finished putting the food in Charlotte's bowl when his phone rang.
"Hello?" he asked.
"Bellamy?" Octavia sounded as though she'd already cried that morning. He didn't doubt that she had. She loved his Clarke like a sister. "Are you up? We have to be at the church in an hour and a half. We have to help Jake and Abby with the food and…and I have to bring the picture board I made. And the programs. Do you have your eulogy ready, Bell?"
"Of course, O," Bellamy replied. "I memorized it. I'll be ready. Just…do you think Charlotte could come to the service? She really misses her mommy."
The amusement was clear in Octavia's tone. "And you always claimed you hated that dog. Clarke was right; you've developed a soft spot for her."
Several of the most painful hours of Bellamy's life later, he stood in front of a closed casket. Clarke had never wanted an open casket. She said it was creepy. He ran his hand over the polished wood and sniffled.
"I miss you like crazy, Princess. Did you like the eulogy? I hope you did. Octavia's and your parents' were also really great. Charlotte looked at me every time someone said your name like she wanted to know where you are." He swallowed but didn't try to wipe away the tears that were falling. "Octavia made a great slideshow. It really showed everyone you loved and all your passions and how lovely you really are."
Octavia had nailed the grave plot. Somehow, she had found an alternative graveyard that was in a clearing in the forest. Later, he found out she and Clarke had actually bought the land with the intention of building a cabin on it for his wedding gift and Octavia couldn't bear to finish the project. She came up with the idea and even sold plots to other families. She was soon out of land, between the site's popularity and families reserving plots for themselves next to loved ones. A spot next to Clarke remained vacant.
Clarke was right in the middle, already with a couple more people around the clearing. Bellamy stood silently, unable to see the grave due to Charlotte blocking it. Finally, he bent down and read it.
Clarke Griffin-Blake
Daughter, Friend, Fiancée
May We Meet Again
His eyes filled with a fresh round of tears. Griffin-Blake. Abby had made it, he was sure. He reached out and traced the letters.
"It's what she wanted." Abby said from behind him. "I have some stuff for you, Bellamy. Come here."
He walked over and embraced Abby. She hugged him tightly and sat at a picnic table, motioning for him to sit beside her. She handed him a box. The tag only had two words, For Bellamy, in Clarke's neat handwriting.
He hesitantly opened the box, pulling out a letter.
"Her will," Abby said quietly. Bellamy nodded and reached in again, this time pulling out a photo.
The photo was of his Clarke, cheeks flushed, smiling, and looking lovingly at…a wedding dress. She was all decked out, veil and bouquet and all.
"Is this…"
Abby nodded, moving a bit closer to him so that she could run her finger along the edge of the photo. "She found it on the trip we made to New York and told me 'Mom, this is my wedding dress'. Octavia snapped this picture in the store without telling anyone, but in the hospital after the doctor told us, Clarke said she wished you could've seen her in it. She was beautiful, Bellamy, and the dress was a princess cut. She said you'd appreciate the irony."
He let out a short laugh because, damn it, he did. "That's my princess, first priority the irony factor."
He carefully replaced the photo, making a mental note to find a frame for it later. The next thing he pulled out was a very familiar sketchbook. He ran his fingers over the cover.
"She wanted you to have this one. I have the one before this, but she specifically told me to give this one to you."
He pulled out a few more things until there was only an envelope and a small Tiffany's box left. He lifted it and opened the small aquamarine box. Inside was a plain platinum wedding band with a matching chain beside it. He looked at Abby in question.
"Your wedding band. Clarke got it a week before she began getting sick. While she was in the hospital, she asked me to order the chain. It's so that when you want to get remarried, you can still wear the ring around your neck." Abby's eyes filled with tears. "My daughter truly loved you. She really just wants you to be happy."
Bellamy held her hand, desperately wishing their roles were reversed. He didn't know how to survive without Clarke. He didn't want to see a world without her. Unfortunately, fate had a different plan for his Princess.
"Bell," she said softly, smiling slightly.
"Princess," he said with relief, bending forward to kiss her forehead. Every time she fell asleep, he was desperately afraid she wouldn't wake up. They didn't know enough about the virus that was making her organs shut down all too quickly, only that the doctor predicted her heart would be affected within two days.
"Bell, when I die, I want you to get remarried."
He could only nod, and she smiled, apparently satisfied. "Good. Tell me a story, Bellamy."
"Bossy Princess," But he smiled, squeezing her hand affectionately. "Once upon a time there was a brave princess and a rebel leader-"
"I call the rebel leader," Clarke interrupted.
"Nope, too bad. My story, my rules. You'll always be the princess. My princess, to be more specific. Anyhow, the brave princess and the rebel leader…"
Bellamy couldn't pay attention to whatever Clarke was telling him about her residency as they walked in the chilly January air. She clung to his arm, chatting enthusiastically, all windswept hair and flushed cheeks. He fingered the small box in his pocket, swallowing nervously and leading her into their coffee shop.
Clarke ordered a hot chocolate for both of them and he sat down, mentally going over the speech he had written. She sat across from him and unwound her scarf, placing it on the table between them.
"I've been talking nonstop since dinner. How was your day, Bell?"
He stammered a bit and Clarke furrowed her brows. "Is something wrong, Bellamy?"
"I just really want to be married to you!" He burst out. He immediately slapped a hand over his mouth as her eyes widened. "I…I mean, I love you, Princess, and…oh, crap, I had this whole speech and I just want little blonde children and I didn't want that when I met you and it's all your fault and-"
"Hey, Bellamy?" Clarke interrupted, grinning. "Yes."
"What do you mean, yes? You can't say yes until I give the speech and show you the ring! What if you hate the ring?"
"I can say yes to whatever I damn well want to. You can't stop me, Bellamy. Yes."
"No! Will you just let me give the speech and get on one knee first?"
"Too late."
"Goddammit, Clarke. This is why I don't try to do nice things for you."
She grinned at him and stood up. For a moment, he thought she might leave until she came over and dug through his pockets, pulling out the velvet box and opening it. She sat down in his lap and kissed him for a moment. They separated and he grinned, knowing he couldn't stay mad at her. He grabbed the box from her hand and set it on the table, still holding the ring. "Marry me, Clarke?"
"Still yes," she smiled as he slipped the ring on her finger and kissed her soundly again.
She leaned against him and examined the ring, turning her hand so it glinted in the light. "Princess cut, Bellamy? Nice touch."
He grinned. "I thought so. I love you so much Clarke."
"I love you, too, Bellamy. So much. Just know I will be having a hyphenated last name. Clarke Blake sounds ridiculous."
Bellamy should've known the moment he walked into an animal shelter with Clarke that they would be leaving with a puppy. Honestly, he didn't know how he didn't see that one coming.
"Only looking my ass," he mumbled as he filled out an adoption application. He heard Clarke giggle from behind him and couldn't help but turn. She was sitting on a bench, making faces at the wagging brown puppy on her lap. He couldn't help but chuckle slightly as he slid the application to the woman across the counter.
The woman followed his gaze and smiled. "Is that your wife?"
"No, she's only my girlfriend…for now. But I must really love her if we're getting a dog together."
"That's sweet of you to do…" she glanced at the sheet. "Bellamy. Trust me, that little puppy will become like your firstborn child. Would you call your girlfriend over? She should be here for the interview."
Bellamy turned around and waved Clarke over. Smiling widely, she carried the excited puppy over as she dodged her kisses and sat next to Bellamy. "Hi, I'm Clarke."
"Hello, Clarke. I'm Harper. Okay, ready to do this?"
Harper conducted a quick interview and concluded they would make a great home for the puppy.
"We're offering a free engraved tag if you know what you want the name to be. Any ideas?"
Clarke nodded fiercely. "Her name is Charlotte Griffin-Blake."
"Griffin-Blake?" Bellamy asked with a grin.
Clarke beamed and shrugged, blushing slightly. "I was hoping someday we could match."
"Octavia, I think I love her," Bellamy said, bursting into his little sister's apartment. "We've only been on five dates, and I love her. Octavia, this has never happened before!"
Octavia's spoon froze halfway to her mouth and a shit-eating grin spread over her face. Soon she was out of her chair and hugging Bellamy.
"That's amazing, Bell! I'm so happy for you! But who is this girl and why didn't you tell me about her!? What's her name? How old is she? Is she cute? Tell me all about her!"
They sat down and Octavia cocked her brow expectantly.
"Her name is Clarke," Bellamy said with a smile. "And I'm in love with her. I'm in love with Clarke Griffin."
His date had gone horribly. He had something very early on that had caused her to go on and on about something very boring. At the end, he told the girl he didn't want to go out again when she suggested they get a drink later.
She had stormed out.
The blonde waitress came by to get their empty coffee cups.
"You know, that was kind of a dick move," she said casually.
"I didn't want to go out with her again," he answered crossly. "Why does that make me a dick?"
"You were just very harsh." She shrugged. "Personally, I would be honored if a guy let me down by saying 'You can have a second date, only not with me'. Genius. Can I get you anything else?"
"No, I'm good." He grinned. "My name is Bellamy."
She let out a short laugh. "Someone is a regular Casanova, huh?"
"Only for very pretty girls," he flirted. "You want to go out sometime?"
She smiled devilishly. "You can have a first date, only not with me." She began to walk away.
"Wait," he called. "What's your name?"
She turned and flashed a smirk. "Clarke. Nice to meet you, Bellamy."
And Bellamy wouldn't have changed one second of it.
Thanks for reading. Please review. Thanks, everyone.