It was just another corny corn day for the leaders of the children, until Eli just had to start an argument.

"Come on, guys. We all know that I was the best leader," he said, practically beaming with arrogance.

"Keep telling yourself that, shrimp," Gabriel rolled his eyes. "It was obviously me."

Isaac suddenly lost his mind and began to shriek in the way he often does. "You fools! I was the first, so I was obviously the greatest."

"Excuse me? Who did you say the first was?" Abel raised his eyebrows in a threatening manner. "Technically, I was the leader way before you, Chroner."

"Will you guys just drop it?" Micah cut in.

"Says the leader who died from getting his yellow dress stuck in a corn harvester," Malachi snickered.

"It was a traditional robe!" Micah screamed before smoothing his hair and calming himself. "And at least I wasn't killed by my own god."

That hit Malachi right where it hurt. "You little…" he steamed, charging towards Micah.

Complete chaos broke loose. Josiah has Ezekiel in a headlock, Eli clung to Gabriel's leg as he tried desperately to kick him off, Malachi and Micah spat furious insults at each other, and Isaac and Abel were in a fist fight. It was leader against leader. It was intense, majestic, breathtaking… and going absolutely nowhere. That is, until I cut in.

"Hey, guys?" I said just before they all came to a sudden halt, frozen mid-hit. "Why don't you just have a rap battle?"

They exchanged curious glances around the room, and still no one moved a muscle, waiting for someone to react. That someone was Josiah. "Sure, why not?"

"Why not? Because you'll lose," Ezekiel snickered.

"Hey! Save it for the rap battle," I scolded him, turning on the karaoke rap CD.

Who was the best leader of the Children of the Corn? Let us decide with a rap battle! Begin!

Isaac - The Giver of His Word - that's what I'm called

The fact that you're even here makes me appalled.

I preach - you listen. How hard is that?

I'll walk all over you 'cuz my sermon's where it's at

Malachi - STFU Isaac, it's my turn now

The fact that you were chosen, I have no clue how

I may have been the leader for under a day

But at least my victims scream when I come their way

Micah - You don't even know the meaning of 'preach'

My level of skill is way beyond your reach

You two couldn't even kill a mere husband and wife

At least when I died, I had brought meaning to my life

Eli - Your cause of death was your dress, why are you still here?

Infidel shake and tremble when I come near

I could beat you all at the drop of a hat

Now, move over... It's my own game you're playing at

Josiah - Why don't you go and lick your mom's ear?

My God has taught me that I have no one to fear

I killed those sadist preachers, and I'll do the same to you

I'm the best one here, so I believe we're through

Ezekiel - That's a lot coming from someone burned at the stake

You may sit if you want, I know I'm too much to take

My children were loyal and my sermons were strong

Now, will all of you please just move along?

Gabriel - Fat chance, shorty, I'm topping you all

I got a hot chick pregnant, faked my death and all

They call me archangel, I bet you can see why

That was a damn good performance so why even try?

Abel - You little punks have nothing on me

I'm the true leader and I always will be

I gave His word before y'all were even alive

Now step out of the way, and let me thrive

Who won?

Hey Guys! I know this might seem really stupid, but it was an idea that's been stuck in my head for a while and I just had to write it. Feel free to comment and vote on who won!