No More Decisions
Part 1, "...a girl must learn to be strong, sometimes, right?..."
By Max-chan
Author's Notes: Inuyasha, Inuyasha, how could anyone *not* like something created by Rumiko Takahashi? How could someone *not* get addicted? Anyways, this is my input into the whole Inuyasha scene. Send all comments and criticism to silverflame_maiden@hotmail.com.
Disclaimers: Inuyasha belongs to it's creator Rumiko Takahashi, Viz and anyone who lays rightful claim.
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The young girl stood on the top of the hill, her thoughts outside of her body, as was her heart. A soft breeze blew and tugged at her skirts lightly. The sun was shining brightly above but the girl still shivered and moved her left hand to hold her right elbow, hugging herself slightly for warmth. Up on the hills, she could see the top of the villager's homes...but she couldn't see the people. She had made her decision. It had taken a long time...a very long and painful time...to come to this decision. She had to open up the truths in her heart and in her soul, revealing all that was there. The truth had hurt, but it was bittersweet type of hurt where the pain was wrapped in a could of sweet remembrance.
She could feel him walk up behind her , then stand beside her. Maybe this was it, maybe this was what she had always wanted all along. Closure...yet not.
He didn't know what to say, she could feel him fidgeting beside her, trying to make sense of his crazy emotions. Trying to figure out a way to let her down gently.
So, she made it easier for him and broke the silence.
"Did I worry you?" she asked quietly, her face turned to look at him. The half-youkai glanced up, his eyes wide and slightly angry.
"Of course I was worried!" he exclaimed and she could tell that he had been. At least that was a small consolation. She was also kind of surprised he admitted the truth.
"I was kinda nervous...since you were so late in coming for me..." she half-admitted. It was a time for truths, after all. The girl was surprised when she felt the semi-demon grab her shoulder and tugged her close to him. It was nice....to be in his warmth again...to be near him...but it sure hurt like nothing could.
"I'm sorry," he said. "It must have hurt..."
Yeah, it did, she thought, but everything seemed to hurt nowadays. Besides, her heart whispered, we all seemed to be sadists, doing things that we know would hurt us.
"Inuyasha..." the girl said quietly. "Many things have happened. We all can't deny it. You and I both know I saw what happened between you and Kikyo and you and I both know that you still have feelings for her. How do I know? You didn't go through the well to get me. If it had been all just in the heat of the moment, you would have gone searching through the well to bring me back...but you didn't." She had promised herself she would be strong...and she was...but she just couldn't help getting choked up.
"Kagome-" the half demon began but she put a hand up to stop him.
"No, let me continue. You didn't come to get me, to try and explain everything and bring me back. That action in itself spoke more then your words to Kikyo ever could. You were trying to decide Inuyasha and when you came upon your decision...it was that you couldn't leave Kikyo...even for me. In your heart, Inuyasha, in that kind, compassionate heart that even you don't know you have...you said sorry to me. I heard it in my own heart when I looked upon the tree. You don't need to say it again."
"So, Inuyasha," Kagome said as she took a deep breath and expelled it, "I've come upon a decision myself. I'm not going to leave." Beside her, she heard the half-demon let out a sigh of relief. So that was what he had been afraid of, she thought, he was afraid I would leave and never return.
"No, I may not be as mature as some, but I'm not the kind to leave and run away when things don't go my way and anyone who thinks so doesn't know me. I have responsibilities here, responsibilities to Shippo, to Miroku, to Sango, to Kaede and especially to you. I'm probably the only one (the only one that's willing of course) that can find the Shikon shards so I can't possibly leave. I'll stay, Inuyasha, but you'll have to compromise too."
"Kagome?" he asked.
"I want you to just forget about anything you feel about me other then friendship. I want you to cut loose all the remaining emotional strings so that I could come clean. No more sweet comments about how I smell, no more telling me that I inspire you and calm you, no more comments or actions that would allow me to hope. We are only friends now, Inuyasha and the minute that you do anything to indicate otherwise again, I will leave. Have no doubt about that," she said, her young voice soft but strong. Inuyasha could hear the strength and determination and he knew that this time, there was no going back. He had made his choice and so doing had made hers as well.
They both didn't say anything for awhile, but she knew he had consented. He couldn't do anything but consent to her wishes after what he had done.
All those good memories, Inuyasha, Kagome thought sadly, almost wistfully, I want us to smile a lot...I don't know if I'll be able to do anything but...I'll always be by your side...
She didn't know how wrong she was.
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They say that when you're happy, the time flys by. Well, the same is true for when you're unhappy, when you don't feel. Kagome stayed with them and nobody suspected a thing. They all traveled and with each adventure, the group managed to find another Shikon shard. The days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, and the months gradually into two years. Two years that meant nothing to her and everything to him. The others didn't notice anything strange...well, Shippo did. With his innocent, child-like eyes, he saw how Kagome wouldn't say anything when Kikyo's name was brought up or when they had to fight her. He saw the way Inuyasha no longer sat in his tree at night and stared down at the sleeping form of Kagome. Instead, when night fell, the half-youkai seemed to make it a point to go as far away from the girl as possible.
Then, at the end of the two years, what they had all been waiting for happened..the last of the shikon shard was found and demons and spirits from all over gathered at that one spot to steal it. The battle had been ugly and bloody...but it's outcome was the most horrible thing that could have happened in Inuyasha's life.
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Kagome stood in the midst of the battles, her school skirt ripped and torn. Apart of her mouth was bruised and purple while blood ran down the other. Her face had blotches of different shades of dark colors. She knew her whole body would be sore tomorrow...that is, if she survived. They all hadn't expected this many demons to arrive to get the finished jewel. Sango, Miroku, Inuyasha, even little Shippo were all fighting to keep the demons at bay and away from Kagome, but some had managed to get a few blows in.
"Kagome!" the half-demon boy yelled and the schoolgirl looked up in time to see a shikon shard fly it's way toward her. Jumping up, she caught it and placed it with the others. Suddenly, everyone's attention was on her. There was no bright flash of light, nothing like that...but she could feel it. She could feel the jewel's warmth as it rejuvenated itself. The girl priestess had to keep from crying at the sheer joy she felt through the jewel. So, this was what it was, this was why they all wanted to possess the jewel. Suddenly, the feeling of sheer joy stopped as she felt the finished jewel pried from her hands. Looking up in shock, Kagome stared into the cold, blank eyes of Kikyo.
The priestess gave a tiny smile before pressing the jewel near the place where her heart should be.
"I wish-" she started and Kagome gave a scream as she lunged for it.
It was too late. Time seemed to slow down and stand still as they all watched what unfolded afterwards. The movements moved down to nano seconds.
"I wish that I could become alive again!"
The scene flashed by so fast, they all had a hard time remembering what exactly happened afterwards. Both Kagome and Kikyo gave loud shrieks, and the white-haired semi-youkai watched in horror as a sort of golden light struggled out of Kagome's form and into Kikyo's. As soon as the light entered Kikyo, the jewel immerged itself into her body and the priestess fell down onto the ground unconscious. Kagome, on the other hand, kept screaming as her whole body was pulled. Both Inuyasha and Shippo jumped up and chased after her, but the speed of which she was pulled was too quick. Inuyasha and the little demon boy managed to follow it to see the force, whatever it was, pull Kagome towards the well.
"No!" he screamed.
Yet, it was too late. Kagome gave a scream as the force pulled her into the well. Then, Inuyasha watched in horror as the little demon boy, Shippo give one last, strong jump to reach Kagome and get pulled in the well also. Flying over, the demon jumped into the well, but to his horror, his feet only touched cold stone. The well was nothing more then a well now...and Kagome was gone from his life.
All he could do was crouch down and sob.
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The sound of chirping birds could be heard as sunlight streamed down onto the fresh lawn. Kagome gave a groan as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. What was she doing out here in the back garden? Ugh! Her head hurt. The schoolgirl looked down at her skirt. Well, at least her school uniform didn't get dirty. What was she doing here though? Before her mind could wander on that, she felt a ruffle at her side. Looking down, her eyes still drowsy, she saw a fox-like child creature.
"Demon!" she screamed as she jumped up and back against the well.
"Where?" the little fox-demon shouted as it stood up. The girl noticed it was no more then a child really. A demon! A real live demon like those her grandfather talked about!
Shippo's eyes landed on Kagome again and her crouched position near the well and accusing eyes told him she was talking about him.
Walking towards her, he asked, "Kagome, are you al-"
Kagome's eyes widened as she moved her hands nervously and shouted, "Stay back! This is sacred ground! Stay back, demon-child!" What was it that her grandfather say to do when you meet a demon? She knew she should have paid attention to him when he told her these things!
"Kagome?" the fox-demon asked again, it's eyes sad and watery, "What's wrong?" How did it know her name? The girl felt a tugging at her heart for the pained look in the demon's eyes. It was just a child, after all.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," she said as she scooted over and patted the demon awkwardly on it's head.
"Kagome?" the demon asked again, looking up at her.
"How do you know my name?" the girl asked again, more quietly this time.
"Don't you remember?" the fox asked, shock evident on it's face.
"Remember what?" now it was Kagome's turn to be confused.
"The jewel! Inuyasha! Miroku, Kaede, Sango, Kikyo! Don't you remember them. The well!" at that, the boy jumped up and ran over to the well. Kagome watched as he jumped in. Walking over, she looked in to see him down below, looking around confused.
"Little fox-demon," she called out, "That well's been boarded up for ages now. What are you doing?"
Shippo jumped out of the well again to stand next to Kagome. The girl watched as his eyes watered again and he started to cry.
Not knowing what else to do, she picked him up and hugged him.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
The boy sobbed out as he looked at her, "I can't go home!"
"Hey, it's okay, you can stay with me. I'm sure grandfather wouldn't mind," the long-haired girl suggested.
The boy could do nothing more then nod.
"Good," the girl smiled, then asked, "What's your name?"
"Sh-Shippo," he hiccuped.
"Well hello, Shippo, my name's Kagome."
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It had took them hours to find him, but when they did, they all wished that they hadn't. At the sound of their footsteps, the demon had looked up and saw the now awaken priestess. He had bared his fangs, jumped up and attacked her. Yet, strange as it was, Kikyo did not fight back like she usually did but stood tall and erect.
Miroku and Sango made a grab for Inuyasha and Kaede shouted, "Stop, Inuyasha! Can't you see that Kikyo is ashamed?"
The demon didn't care for anyone's words though. He just knew one thing, the priestess in front of him had made Kagome leave. She had took Kagome away from him and he could never forgive her for that. She had to pay. Yet, when he managed to break loose of the female fighter and the perverted boy, he couldn't bring himself to strike her. In that one moment when he raised his fist, he saw this exact same scene so many years ago. He saw the exact same way her eyes had looked so defiant and soft...and he couldn't bring himself to do it.
Instead, he had crumpled down like before and clutched himself in anger and sadness.
"Where's Kagome and Shippo?" Miroku asked as he looked in the well.
Inuyasha looked up in fury and spat out, "They got sucked in to the well! It's closed off now, closed off to her and to us."
"Why?" Sango questioned, a slight hint of quiver in her voice.
"Ask Kikyo!" the full-demon growled out.
The priestess Kikyo just looked sadly down at the demon she loved so and whispered, "I'm sorry, Inuyasha."
"Well, sorry's not going to bring her back, is it?" he growled out again, his eyes so venomous they made her shiver.
"No, it's not," she agreed softly.
Both humans in the scene were confused now.
"What's going on? Why's Kagome gone? Why'd the well get closed up?" Sango asked.
Kaede was the one to answer.
"Kikyo's wish. The jewel was complete and the dead Kikyo had been full of greed. It was not her fault, it was the corruption of the underworld that made her do it. She wished for herself to be alive again," the old woman answered.
"Kagome," Sango said.
Kaede interrupted, "Kagome does not have Kikyo's reincarnated soul, she couldn't have. What Kagome had of Kikyo's was her magic spirit. When Kikyo wished to be human again, her magic spirit got returned to her. Kagome's from another world and she is the sole link from her world to ours. When her magic spirit was returned to Kikyo, she could no longer exist in our world. She was returned to her own and the magic well was closed off because you need a link for it to be opened. Shippo probably got sucked in with her."
"So, Kikyo-" Sango started to say, her vocie angry.
"No!" Kaede defended, "That was what Inuyasha does not understand. It is not completely Kikyo's fault. When the well was complete, anyone with magic that was involved would have gotten t heir wish answered. Look at yourself, Inuyasha, you got your wish! You're a full-blooded demon now! Kikyo got her wish to be human and Shippo got his wish answered. I'm guessing that his wish was to be with Kagome. Kagome made a wish as well. That is what Inuyasha is not willing to face."
"What was Kagome's wish then?" Sango asked.
"To never have met me..." the demon whispered achingly before getting up and flying away.
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