Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry everyone for not updating my stories! I feel terrible but I've been so busy lately! I'm still busy with assessments. My second semester has really taken up a lot of my time, especially Creative Writing and Textiles class. I also have a job now which takes up even more of my free time. So why am uploading this you ask? It's for an assessment! I need help guys! Part of my Creative writing course is to create a portfolio of written work and I need your critique and assessments. Yes I am basing Jean off Jean Kirschtein because why not? I want my JeanMarco fluff. Yes, there is JeanxMarco angst. My assessment criteria is pretty broad. I can write in whatever context I like.

Anyway this is still in the planning stage. It will probably evolve in the later weeks. It's bound to since its my creative writing portfolio. Anyhow. Enjoy!

Jean:

"I… that is…"

…Wonderful. This is just ridiculous. I could write many things that constantly drove me up the wall or secrets that I would love to get off my chest. What my homeroom teacher, Ms. Jennings was thinking still baffles me. I get how she wanted everyone to be more open with each other. That I do understand. I understand honesty completely. Everyday, I try to be this 'open' person Ms. Jennings wishes us to be, although I feel the 'straightforward to the point it's downright rude' character, isn't really what she was aiming for.

But setting up this personal blog for us to pour over our deepest and darkest secrets was going a little overboard.

What were her words again? Oh. That's right. I remember.

"Typing daily in the class blog will certainly boost your esteem! Think of it as practice. No! Better then that, an online friend for you to talk with. Maybe then you can all be open with each other!"

That's what she claimed anyway, in her thin piping voice, fussing over that silver grey bun tied high up on the top of her head. I'm sure it was just a way for my tutor to stick that long upturned nose of hers into other people's business. Talk about invasion of one's privacy.

Why would she care anyway? Just because my homeroom tutor was also one of the school councilors doesn't mean she could suddenly 'test' whether one of her pupils needed psychological evaluation. Besides, there are some things people don't wish to share with anyone or to know. Some secrets in this world are better kept silent.I'm sure you have a few… I do too. Everyone does.

As for me? Well, 'that' has been stressing me for a few years now. I think the problem started when I was fourteen or fifteen, still young, a little innocent of the world but confused. I'm twenty now. I was in love. I'm still in love with the same person I met a few years ago. That person has remained the most important to me. Just seeing that person's gentle smile was a blessing to me. That person was my salvation, that rock I could cling too. I loved him for that.

There. I said it. I loved him. Now you know. I know I can trust you because unlike some people, you won't judge what I've become.

Marco has been my best friend since junior high. I don't know when I started to have such strong feelings for someone who was the same sex. Everyday we would walk together to school, side by side and I would count the light brown freckles that dusted his cheeks or wishing I could touch the dark brown locks that brushed across his forehead in delicate waves. Last time I counted his freckles, he had thirty-seven. I've tried to tell myself that it was just a phase. I was still in my early teens at the time and I was sure the majority was questioning their sexuality just like me. I was sure my feelings would go away in time. They didn't. My feelings grew stronger with every passing day… but so did my frustration. I knew my feelings would never be reciprocated and in a society that condemns same sex relationships would only make things worse for Marco and I.

I think I've gotten pretty good with hiding my true feelings in front of Marco. I say good morning to him, walk to school together, eat lunch together, have class together, go home together… just as we always do. As much as it hurts me, it would kill me inside if we lost our friendship. I'm grateful with the relationship we have now… and that's all that matters to me.

There. I guess you finally know what I actually hide behind my smiling face five days a week.

Back to business then. What should I write in this pointless blog? I typed the first thing that came to mind.

"I think I like someone."

Well, I'm not lying. Like I said before, there are some things you don't want other people to know…

And that's my first section. I would love to hear your feedback. That way I can include your comments and edit it before I hand in my first draft.

Love Evening Falls