Disclaimer – I do not own the Sonic the Hedgehog characters.
How to Lose a Fan
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"Sonic, I love you. I knew it when I first played your game when I was eight, and I know it now at twenty-two. I love you, Sonic the Hedgehog. I love you."
Sonic nodded. He completely understood how no female was able to resist his rock hard body. He nodded and sighed. "Listen, I'm hot. I know it. I don't try to hide it. But the fact of the matter is you can't love me."
"Why?"
"Well, other than the fact that I'm not real, you're human."
"Nuh-uh! I'm a hedgehog, just like you. And I'm not annoying like Amy or an ugly pink color that hurts everyone's eyes."
Sonic bit back a laugh. "Umm…yeah. You're a hedgehog…in you're mind." The girl started to protest, but Sonic held up his hand. "You've got to stop this."
He lowered his hand and walked toward the bright yellow hedgehog who wore a puke-green dress and lime green combat boots. His left hand settled on her shoulder as his right hand cupped and lifted her chin. She shivered at his touch, and his smile widened; fourteen years and he still had it.
"Listen, baby. You're human. You delude yourself, for reasons that I can't even begin to imagine, into thinking you're a hedgehog, but you're human. H-U-M-A-N."
The hedgehog girl pulled back from him, and her form blurred momentarily. "Why are you doing this," she demanded. "I love you!"
Sonic rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you and hundreds of other girls."
"No! I…I…I hate you!" Her form wavered again, and for a moment she looked almost human. Then, quite suddenly, her form solidified. She looked exactly as she had moments ago, except her quills were bent upward at their ends and colored a dark purple that looked almost black. She stood, and her eyes flashed red. "I love Shadow!" declared this new being. Turning her back to Sonic, she stormed off.
Sonic's brows lifted, and he scratched the back of his head. "I keep losing more fans like that."
A/N - And that's how Shadow fans are made.