Chapter one: the beginning of hell
"We should totally make Fanfiction! It's our tradition!" Alty said, smiling on a sugar high. "Can we do yaoi this time?" Wasabi asked. "Yeah, we should put ourselves in the naruverse and put random people together! Like Kabuto and Orochimaru!" Alty yelled throwing her hands up. "EW! Holy shit no!" Wasabi pretended to gouge her eyes out. So Alty pulled up word and began typing incoherently. Then everything exploded and they were floating… into the abyss.
All of a sudden, they dropped from the sky.
"Holy shit…what happened?" Altymai said, rubbing her eye.
"How the hell should I know?" Wasabi groaned.
"Kakashi-sensei! I found some random people! Can we eat them?!" Someone yelled from over them. They looked up, seeing Naruto looking at them with his mouth watering.
"No, Naruto. Cannibalism is bad for you. Stick to ramen," Kakashi said while walking over.
"Naruto, have you gotten dumber?" Sasuke said, appearing out of no where.
"Well, at least the log isn't stalking me!" Naruto screamed, pointing at Sasuke.
"DAMN YOU LOG!!!" Sasuke screamed, falling to his knees.
"Um..Ok. He might need some help," Altymai said while standing up.
"What in the goddamned world fucking happened here? We just fucking fell out of the sky?" wasabi let out a whole slew of curse words until Altymai whispered in kakashi's ear. Sighing, he bent over and kissed Sasuke on the cheek. Then Wasabi was quiet and stared at the two males. "Sasuke! What are you doing with Kakashi sensei!" sakura screamed. Naruto turned around and began yelling at her. Then Altymai began beating the living shit out of the blonde. "Don't you ever talk to MY sakura like that!" she said biting his hand.
"HOLY SHIT!!! YOU'RE DRAWING BLOOD!!" Naruto screamed at the top of his lungs. Altymai just bit harder.
"I hate you people. I'm going home," Sasuke said with a huff, turning and walking away.
"But wait!! Do more stuff with Kakashi!!" Wasabi yelled.
"Sorry girls, but I'm with milk," Kakashi said.
"WHY ISN'T ANYONE HELPING ME??!!" Naruto screamed.
"BECAUSE NO ONE CARES RIGHT NOW!!" Wasabi screamed back. She turned and looked at Kakashi, smiling.
"Now, where can we find Neji?"
Wasabi watched Iruka as he led them to Neji's training ground. She began focusing on what she wanted him to say. "I want to have kakashi's babies" he said aloud. Wasabi looked up, shocked. Alty looked at her, confused. Iruka was crouched on the ground, covering his mouth. "Keep going straight, you'll find Neji" he murmured. Then Kakashi walked out of a random bush smiling at iruka who had an oh-shit-I'm-gonna-get-raped look on his face. The two girls moved along, smiling evilly. They had Jedi mind powers now.
"Oi, Neji!" Wasabi yelled. Neji looked over at them, confused at who they were.
"Who the hell are you?" Neji said, looking a little pissed off.
"We control you," Altymai said while waving her hands in front of Neji's face.
"Stop that, you crazy bitch," Neji said while swatting at her hands.
'Go fuck Naruto's brains out!! NOW!!' Wasabi thought with an evil smile. Ju////////s\
at that moment, Naruto walked by.
"Hey Neji," Naruto said. Neji glomped him, tearing off Naruto's jacket.
"What the fucking hell??!!" Naruto yelled.
"This day couldn't get any better!" Wasabi yelled, jumping up and down.
"Sssh" Neji demanded. He unbuttoned Naruto trousers and slid his pants and boxers down. Then he turned Naruto around to face him. He forced two fingers into naruto's mouth. "Get them wet, you'll want it like that" he whispered. Naruto obeyed and nearly screamed when Neji plunged those fingers into his ass. "Neji-kun...Ahh! That hurts!" he cried. In response he pressed Naruto on the ground, face down. Naruto's eyes opened wide, as he stared at the two girls choking back fangirl screams. Then he heard the unzipping of another's pants, the man on top of him, was pulling down his pants!
Naruto squirmed a little, not sure if he was going to like what was coming.
"This will hurt a bit…" Neji said in a husky voice that was laced with lust. Neji shoved into Naruto, at first softly and then faster, pushing himself all the way into Naruto.
"Ah! Neji…kun…" Naruto said weakly, pain and lust swirling together. Neji started to push in and out at a slower pace, and then quickly sped up.
He found Naruto's special spot and rammed into that as hard and fast as he could. He began to see stars as every inch of him began to throb with pleasure. Still pounding his ass, he pulled the shoulder of Naruto's shirt down and sucked on his neck, leaving a bright red bruise. "Neji! I- I'm coming!" he gasped. Too late, he felt Neji come inside him, and he pulled out, probably to have to deal with his erection himself. Instead Neji began sucking on Naruto.
Wasabi and Altymai stood only a few feet away, snapping pictures with random cameras that came out of no where. Kakashi and Iruka were off screwing somewhere. Sasuke was at home, moping about how much he hated everyone and Sakura… was just standing there, and looked terrified.
Naruto came and Neji swallowed it all. Then he woke up from his near-trance. "What did I just do?" he asked. Looking at Naruto, pantless and panting, his own seed spilling out of his ass. Then he realized what he did, but more importantly, the two girls were passed out on the grass. He got himself and Naruto dressed, picked the three of them up and ran to the hospital.
"Where are we?" Wasabi groaned as she woke up. She smelt that clean smell of a hospital.
"Why the hell are we in a hospital?" Altymai said, a little pissed.
"Well, you guys passed out and I guess I freaked. Why did I screw Naruto?" Neji said, blushing madly.
"'Cause we wanted you to," Altymai said with a yawn. Neji blushed even more.
"Why?!!" Neji screamed dramatically.
"Shut up! People are trying to sleep here! And you're the one that gave me a sore ass!!" Naruto screamed from the bench.
"They're from the other realm, got to get them on our side, and put Naruto on birth control now" Tsunade thought. She got up from her desk, not before pulling out a round package of pills, and two spare headbands. "Alright, welcome to the village." She threw the headbands at the girls and the package of pills at Naruto. Then she walked over to check their IVs. Plenty of glucose left for the one with glasses, and the other one still had lots of caffeine left in her fluids. They were both asleep now, probably tired from their move. She smiled "there's never going to be time for normality anymore" she sighed, but deep down inside, she anticipated the joy that would come to the female of the village when she released them into the world.
"Neji! Go get Lee and have him and yourself escort these girls to their new home," Tsunade said, turning away from the girls.
"Yes, Lord Hogake," Neji said, dreading anything that those girls could think of next.
"Damn, I hate everyone…" Neji said to himself. Wasabi woke up, looking around the room. She saw the glucose IV and pulled it out of her arm.
"You shouldn't do that," Tsunade said, looking out the window.
"I know, but too much will make me go high," Wasabi said, covering the now bleeding wound with her jacket sleeve. Neji burst through the door, Lee following him close behind.
"Before we leave, blindfold her" Wasabi instructed. "Why?" lee asked. "Hmm, take caffeine sensitive twelve years old on 1200 milligrams of caffeine and you're in deep shit" she said. Lee the blindfolded the shaking girl. "GAL SLASH LEE!" she yelled. Then Gai came walking up and kissed lee. Then walked off, in a confused daze. "Shut up" wasabi said. And she was quiet. "Eh, this is my guest house, nothing fancy" lee untied the blindfold and put their bags at the front door.
"Thank you very much, Lee-kun and Neji-kun," Wasabi said, picking up there bags. Lee smiled and did a thumbs up.
"I was no problem, really," Lee said.
"NEJI LEE SMUT!!!" Altymai screamed.
"I told you to shut up!" Wasabi screamed, but also grabbing her camera at the same time. Neji and Lee started making-out heavily.
"WHY DO I HAVE TO BE IN A GROUP WITH A SLUT LIKE SASUKE!?" Naruto screamed as he randomly walked by.
"then why don't you be his pimp?" lee said sarcastically. Then Naruto began running in the opposite direction. Lee shot the two a glance then left, a confused and terrified look on his face. Wasabi shut the door and checked their new baggage. Jounin vests, and a few sets of clothes. And two headbands. And a note:
Wasabi and Altymai-
Wasabi, you will work with Kakashi's team, Altymai, you're with Gai. We've decided to make you Jounin in our village, please accept.
Signed,
Tsunade
"we should go sleep, we have to work with teams tomorrow" Wasabi groaned. Altymai, was crashed on the floor, snoring. Wasabi choked back laughter and walked over her friend's body.
She picked her up and layed her on the couch.
"Great, I have to deal with the emotional baggage-case, the useless one, and the screaming brat… at least I can get some good yaoi out of it," Wasabi said with an evil smile.
"YAOI!!!" Altymai screamed. They both laughed and couldn't wait for tomorrow to begin.
"JA ne!" they said to each other excitedly before running off in different directions. Wasabi's new shoes went tap-tap as she walked to the place where she would meet team seven. There, they were waiting. "Hi hi!" she waved ecstatically. "I hate you" Naruto growled. "I don't think that pill is working for you" Sasuke said apathetically. Naruto looked majorly pissed. "shut up, or it's going to be Sasuke in your ass" she nearly backslapped the two. " I don't want that slut inside me" Naruto yelled. Wasabi closed her
eyes, and Naruto stepped back. "good little victims" she could be mean if she wanted to.
Altymai skipped down the street, singing Gazette's 'Best Friend'. She saw Lee and Neji standing there, waiting for Gai and Ten-Ten to come.
"Guten Morgen!" Altymai yelled, waving and rushing over to them.
'Don't think yaoi thought, don't think yaoi thoughts,' She told herself over and over.
"Yosh! Good morning, sensei!" Lee yelled. Neji just looked at her, still pissed about yesterday.
"Neji, stop ass-fucking yourself and get over it," Altymai said while putting her hands on her hips.
"Wait, what?" Neji said, confused.
"Good morning, young and youthful students!" Gai yelled, waving as he walked over to the three.
"Where's Sasuke's seme?" she demanded. "I don't know!" Sakura said nervously. "wrong answer, go away" she used two fingers to punch sakura in her stomach. "get off your ass, do something useful and find Kakashi, you lazy whore" Wasabi pointed in the direction she came from. "yes ma'am" she ran off horrified. "holy crap, you are god" Kakashi said coming from the opposite direction. " no problem." She smirked. "let's leave before she comes back" Kakashi clapped his hands and led the way out.
"Righto then!" Lee said, bouncing up and down. Lee, Ten-Ten, and Gai ran off to train, although Ten-Ten is even more useless than Sakura. Neji stayed behind with Wasabi.
"Why do you and your friend like doing things like that?"
"It entertains us for a little bit," Wasabi said, getting ready to train.
"But it's not fun for us," Neji said, starting to get pissed off.
"You can deny that all you want, but I know you want Naruto to love you. And I can make that happen," Altymai said, walking off in the direction the others went.
" I want to fight Naruto, Kakashi, you fighting Naruto, well, let's say I like you two together" Wasabi smirked. Kakashi nodded his head and went off with Sasuke. Somewhere, far away. "Kakashi and Sasuke are more your thing, aren't they?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "yep" she got the evil glint in her eye. "pervert" Wasabi hit him so hard he flew back ten feet. "I haven't even trained as shinobi" she growled. "Tell me one thing, do you love Neji?" she asked. "well, uh, maybe" he looked away blushing. Wasabi smiled, "you've earned ramen".
Altymai crashed on the couch.
"Why?! Why did Neji have to train EXTRA hard today?!" Altymai yelled.
"I guess he's still mad at us about yesterday," Wasabi said as she walked in the door.
"Can't we have a little fun messing with them tonight?!" Altymai whined. Wasabi smirked.
"Just think of a couple and I'll grab my camera,"
"ew! Oh my god, not that couple!" they were standing out side Sasuke's window. He was tossing and turning screaming Orochimaru name. "fine, fine" she sighed. Then without either of them thinking about it, Kakashi walked in and gently kissed Sasuke. Then looked up and saw them staring through the window.