Prologue
After much thought, I decided that Hogwarts needed a music department. Though it is not magic, it is very necessary if you want to lead a healthy and happy lifestyle. So it is now required that every faculty member must learn an instrument, and every student has the option of either singing or playing an instrument as well. They can play the piano or an orchestral instrument. Guitars and banjos are NOT allowed and sorry McGonagall, no bagpipes. (Yes, I love bagpipes also, they're the only instrument with a tartan pattern, but they just don't fit in with an orchestra.) I've taken it upon myself to organize the
Hogwarts Musical Department, but I can't run it, so I called upon Sister Mary Lazarus, the choir director from the movie Sister Act to come and help us out. I was going to call the whole convent of St. Catherine's, but then I decided that that would make for an awfully confused Professor Dumbledore, who would spot the Reverend Mother and say something like, "Professor McGonagall, when did you decide to become a nun?" And he'd have every right to say that too, the resemblance is uncanny. (10 MAC points if you can figure out why!) So it's just Sister Mary Lazarus, and a whole bunch of Hogwarts folks. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
The
Hogwarts Symphony
Orchestra!
Chapter One: A Nun at Hogwarts
It was September First, the beginning of Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, and he and Ron noticed someone new sitting at the staff table.
"She's got awfully strange wizard's robes," commented Ron.
"Those aren't wizard's robes," said Harry. "That's a habit, that is. She's a nun."
"A nun?" asked Ron.
"Yeah," came Seamus Finnegan's voice from across the table. "We had them when I went to the Muggle school. They're real strict, and sometimes mean!"
"Oh no," said Harry and Ron together.
"Just what we need," said Ron. "Another bloody Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and this one's mean!"
"Look!" said Harry, pointing in the other direction. "It's another one!"
"Another one what?"
"Nun!"
Ron looked in the other direction, and sure enough, there was another lady in her billowing black nun outfit with the tight thing that goes around the head, and the habit on top flowing behind her as she walked briskly towards her seat at the staff table.
"I wonder what she teaches," said Hermione. "There was only one vacancy, and that's Defense Against the Dark Arts."
"Perhaps they're starting a new subject?"
"A new subject!" said Hermione. "I don't know if I'll have the time…"
"Hope it's an elective," said Ron. "Then I won't have to take it."
Hermione gave Ron one of those "Ron!" looks and said "You don't even know what it is yet! You've got to give her a chance!"
But before Ron could say anymore, Professor Dumbledore stood up to make his announcements.
"I'd like to introduce to you two new Professors we have here at Hogwarts," he began. "First, I'd like to introduce you to our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Sister Mary Robert."
The younger of the two nuns stood up and everyone applauded as if they didn't know what else to do. Clearly, Harry and Ron weren't the only ones who didn't know what to think.
"And secondly, I would like you all to meet Sister Mary Lazarus."
This time, the other nun stood up, and she was a complete contrast to the first nun. She was really old looking, and she had a stern face. But not the stern sort of face that Professor McGonagall had, this woman's face was tough, like she'd been through a lot. She didn't receive as much applause the first nun did. Kids like Seamus who had gone to a Catholic school before Hogwarts looked very nervous, as this was not their first encounter with nuns as teachers. Also, people were very confused because Dumbledore had left out why this nun was here in the first place. This question was soon to be answered though, because Dumbledore waved his hand for silence and began to talk.
"Sister Mary Lazarus will be our new music teacher. Yes, music is a great magic, far beyond that that we teach here, so I have decided –"
**Ahem!**
"- er, rather our Fan Fiction Authoress, Miss Nancy D has decided –"
**Thank you**
"- that Hogwarts needs a music department. So Sister Mary Lazarus will be here to run the department, so therefore I have a few more announcements to make. All of the faculty members must each play an instrument in the orchestra. Any student fourth year and above who wishes to play an instrument in the orchestra may well do so. Every student below fourth year must sing in the Yong Voices choir. Trials for fourth year and above will be held next Sunday at noon here in the Great Hall for those older students who wish to try out for the more advanced choir. Those older students who are not in the choir or the orchestra must pick up an extra elective subject. Also on Sunday evening after supper, instruments will be available in the Entrance Hall for those of you who would like to play an instrument."
There was a wave of 'awwwwww's from the entire hall at this last line. It seemed that there were going to be an awful lot of people lined up for the choir trials on Sunday.
Sunday morning came in a flash, and Harry Ron and Hermione found themselves lined up outside of the Great Hall at 11:42 a.m. with about half of the school.
"You're trying out for the choir, Ron?" asked Hermione.
"It's either that or Arithmancy, so I'll have a go at singing first. I see you're more anxious to sing than to pick up another subject."
"Oh nonono," said Hermione. I'm here to watch the trials. I'm going to play an instrument."
Ron gave a snort and immediately put his hand to his mouth to hide that he was laughing.
"What's so funny?" asked Hermione.
"I think Hermione would be good at an instrument," said Harry. "What are you going to play? Violin?"
Simultaneously, he and Ron burst out laughing.
"It's not funny!" said Hermione, turning pink. "And besides, I didn't want to play the violin anyway! I'm going to play the flute."
"Ooh," Harry and Ron tried to say with a straight face, but ended up in tears of laughter afterwards.
Just then, the doors to the Great Hall opened and there stood Sister Mary Lazarus.
"You will come in one by one and I'll here you sing a short song," she started. "Then those of you who did well will be called back for either another trial or our first choir practice on Wednesday."
Then the person who stood at the front of the line, a short Hufflepuff sixth year, entered the room with Sister Mary Lazarus. People kept filing in, one by one, until finally Ron was next in line.
"Good luck, Ron," said Hermione.
Ron walked in, sang a song, and walked out. So did Harry. Wednesday at breakfast, Sister Mary Lazarus stood up and read off the whole lineup of the Hogwarts Choir. Harry's name was mentioned, but Ron's wasn't.
"Oh no!" said Ron. "I'm going to have to take an extra class!"
"You can always play an instrument," said Hermione.
"What am I going to play? Flugelhorn?"
"You don't have to play a horn!"
"Yeah," said Ron, displeased. "I can play the violin."
A/N: I hope you liked it! Sorry it wasn't that funny. Chapter two will be funny.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or setting or anything, those are all products of J.K. Rowling's wonderful imagination. And nuns aren't all mean, they're just stereotyped as being mean, and for those of you who've seen Sister Act, Sr. Mary Lazarus is a very likeable character. And for those of you who haven't seen Sister Act, I suggest you go see it as soon as possible, it's hilarious!
After much thought, I decided that Hogwarts needed a music department. Though it is not magic, it is very necessary if you want to lead a healthy and happy lifestyle. So it is now required that every faculty member must learn an instrument, and every student has the option of either singing or playing an instrument as well. They can play the piano or an orchestral instrument. Guitars and banjos are NOT allowed and sorry McGonagall, no bagpipes. (Yes, I love bagpipes also, they're the only instrument with a tartan pattern, but they just don't fit in with an orchestra.) I've taken it upon myself to organize the
Hogwarts Musical Department, but I can't run it, so I called upon Sister Mary Lazarus, the choir director from the movie Sister Act to come and help us out. I was going to call the whole convent of St. Catherine's, but then I decided that that would make for an awfully confused Professor Dumbledore, who would spot the Reverend Mother and say something like, "Professor McGonagall, when did you decide to become a nun?" And he'd have every right to say that too, the resemblance is uncanny. (10 MAC points if you can figure out why!) So it's just Sister Mary Lazarus, and a whole bunch of Hogwarts folks. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
The
Hogwarts Symphony
Orchestra!
Chapter One: A Nun at Hogwarts
It was September First, the beginning of Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts, and he and Ron noticed someone new sitting at the staff table.
"She's got awfully strange wizard's robes," commented Ron.
"Those aren't wizard's robes," said Harry. "That's a habit, that is. She's a nun."
"A nun?" asked Ron.
"Yeah," came Seamus Finnegan's voice from across the table. "We had them when I went to the Muggle school. They're real strict, and sometimes mean!"
"Oh no," said Harry and Ron together.
"Just what we need," said Ron. "Another bloody Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and this one's mean!"
"Look!" said Harry, pointing in the other direction. "It's another one!"
"Another one what?"
"Nun!"
Ron looked in the other direction, and sure enough, there was another lady in her billowing black nun outfit with the tight thing that goes around the head, and the habit on top flowing behind her as she walked briskly towards her seat at the staff table.
"I wonder what she teaches," said Hermione. "There was only one vacancy, and that's Defense Against the Dark Arts."
"Perhaps they're starting a new subject?"
"A new subject!" said Hermione. "I don't know if I'll have the time…"
"Hope it's an elective," said Ron. "Then I won't have to take it."
Hermione gave Ron one of those "Ron!" looks and said "You don't even know what it is yet! You've got to give her a chance!"
But before Ron could say anymore, Professor Dumbledore stood up to make his announcements.
"I'd like to introduce to you two new Professors we have here at Hogwarts," he began. "First, I'd like to introduce you to our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Sister Mary Robert."
The younger of the two nuns stood up and everyone applauded as if they didn't know what else to do. Clearly, Harry and Ron weren't the only ones who didn't know what to think.
"And secondly, I would like you all to meet Sister Mary Lazarus."
This time, the other nun stood up, and she was a complete contrast to the first nun. She was really old looking, and she had a stern face. But not the stern sort of face that Professor McGonagall had, this woman's face was tough, like she'd been through a lot. She didn't receive as much applause the first nun did. Kids like Seamus who had gone to a Catholic school before Hogwarts looked very nervous, as this was not their first encounter with nuns as teachers. Also, people were very confused because Dumbledore had left out why this nun was here in the first place. This question was soon to be answered though, because Dumbledore waved his hand for silence and began to talk.
"Sister Mary Lazarus will be our new music teacher. Yes, music is a great magic, far beyond that that we teach here, so I have decided –"
**Ahem!**
"- er, rather our Fan Fiction Authoress, Miss Nancy D has decided –"
**Thank you**
"- that Hogwarts needs a music department. So Sister Mary Lazarus will be here to run the department, so therefore I have a few more announcements to make. All of the faculty members must each play an instrument in the orchestra. Any student fourth year and above who wishes to play an instrument in the orchestra may well do so. Every student below fourth year must sing in the Yong Voices choir. Trials for fourth year and above will be held next Sunday at noon here in the Great Hall for those older students who wish to try out for the more advanced choir. Those older students who are not in the choir or the orchestra must pick up an extra elective subject. Also on Sunday evening after supper, instruments will be available in the Entrance Hall for those of you who would like to play an instrument."
There was a wave of 'awwwwww's from the entire hall at this last line. It seemed that there were going to be an awful lot of people lined up for the choir trials on Sunday.
Sunday morning came in a flash, and Harry Ron and Hermione found themselves lined up outside of the Great Hall at 11:42 a.m. with about half of the school.
"You're trying out for the choir, Ron?" asked Hermione.
"It's either that or Arithmancy, so I'll have a go at singing first. I see you're more anxious to sing than to pick up another subject."
"Oh nonono," said Hermione. I'm here to watch the trials. I'm going to play an instrument."
Ron gave a snort and immediately put his hand to his mouth to hide that he was laughing.
"What's so funny?" asked Hermione.
"I think Hermione would be good at an instrument," said Harry. "What are you going to play? Violin?"
Simultaneously, he and Ron burst out laughing.
"It's not funny!" said Hermione, turning pink. "And besides, I didn't want to play the violin anyway! I'm going to play the flute."
"Ooh," Harry and Ron tried to say with a straight face, but ended up in tears of laughter afterwards.
Just then, the doors to the Great Hall opened and there stood Sister Mary Lazarus.
"You will come in one by one and I'll here you sing a short song," she started. "Then those of you who did well will be called back for either another trial or our first choir practice on Wednesday."
Then the person who stood at the front of the line, a short Hufflepuff sixth year, entered the room with Sister Mary Lazarus. People kept filing in, one by one, until finally Ron was next in line.
"Good luck, Ron," said Hermione.
Ron walked in, sang a song, and walked out. So did Harry. Wednesday at breakfast, Sister Mary Lazarus stood up and read off the whole lineup of the Hogwarts Choir. Harry's name was mentioned, but Ron's wasn't.
"Oh no!" said Ron. "I'm going to have to take an extra class!"
"You can always play an instrument," said Hermione.
"What am I going to play? Flugelhorn?"
"You don't have to play a horn!"
"Yeah," said Ron, displeased. "I can play the violin."
A/N: I hope you liked it! Sorry it wasn't that funny. Chapter two will be funny.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or setting or anything, those are all products of J.K. Rowling's wonderful imagination. And nuns aren't all mean, they're just stereotyped as being mean, and for those of you who've seen Sister Act, Sr. Mary Lazarus is a very likeable character. And for those of you who haven't seen Sister Act, I suggest you go see it as soon as possible, it's hilarious!