Hope

Hey everyone! While I'm not new to the website, this is my first story so you'll have to excuse any crappy writing. I would love if you could leave a review giving me any comments or constructive criticism. They'd help a lot. Anyways, without further ado, I hope you enjoy this.

-x-

"You gave me hope, then you took it away. That's enough to make anyone dangerous."

Patricia ran inside the house. She ignored Victor yelling at her about creating a racket. She just ran as fast as she could and slammed her bedroom door shut, locking it. KT and Joy weren't inside, luckily, she didn't know how much longer she could have kept it all in. And then, the tears fell. She didn't stop them, she just cried and cried and cried. The tears poured out of her in streams of pain and heartbreak and guilt. She drowned out all of the Anubis residents, screaming at her from outside her room, asking if she was okay, telling her to let them in. Of course she wasn't okay. How could she be? After what that slime ball put her through.

Eddie. All of this was because of him. Even thinking about him hurt. Patricia had vowed to herself that she would never, ever cry over something so petty as a boy. And yet, here she was, screaming so loudly all her pain came out in whispers. She had broken every rule she had set for herself, and all for a stupid American boy who stole her heart without her permission, and then crushed it into a million broken shards.

But it wasn't his fault, or KT's, or anyone else's. It was hers. She just needed someone else to blame. She was the one who let herself like him, and then let herself fall in love with him. She was the one who broke up with him. She was the one who said she never wanted to see him again. She was the one who didn't listen to him, who realized it was all just a misunderstanding a little too late. She was the one whose last words to him were 'I hate you'.

Now he was gone. Forever. And that too, was her fault. Everyone said otherwise. Her parents, Piper, all of her friends, even . But it was, she knew it was. She rocked back and forth on her bed as her mind raced back to the night it all happened.

"HOW COULD YOU EDDIE? I TRUSTED YOU!" Patricia screamed. She had walked in to see KT and Eddie together, lip-locked.

"Yacker wait! It's not what you think it is, I swear. Just let me explain." Eddie said as he ran after her. He caught up to her and grabbed her arm, causing her to turn and crash into him.

"I don't want your explanations. I just want to know why you would do this to me. You could have just said I don't like you anymore, or I have feelings for someone else. You didn't have to go behind my back, you two-timing weas-"

Eddie crushed his lips against hers, in an attempt to make her shut up for one second. Without even thinking, she melted against him, like she always did. He roughly pushed her against the wall as she began kissing him back. They continued like this for several minutes. When they pulled back for air, she realized what she had done and jumped away from him.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU PIG! You can't just fix this problem with a kiss and expect everything to be okay again. How could you do this Eddie? I told you that I loved you! I loved you! You know how excruciatingly difficult that was for me, a-and now you, y-you go and do this." She was crying now. She never cried, especially in front of people.

"Yacker, listen to me, please! KT kissed me. She kissed me, not the other way around. She kissed me before I could even stop her! I love you, not her, I promise, I'm telling the truth!" Eddie pleaded.

"Right, and I'm just supposed to believe that am I? I'm not stupid Eddie. I'm not some stupid airhead who's just going to blindly believe everything you say. I saw you with my own eyes. You know what? This is the last straw. You and me? We're over, and I never want to see you again, ever. I hate you!" She was done, she had given up. No more hope. As she saw him walk towards her, she ran out of the house and into the street. She didn't see him follow her, but she heard him begging her to listen, telling her he loved her and that he would never hurt her on purpose. She ignored it all.

And then it happened, the car, it had come out of nowhere. Everything happened so fast she didn't even have time to comprehend what had occurred in front of her. She forgot all about Eddie and KT's kiss. All she saw was the love of her life, on the street, bloody and unconscious.

At that moment, Fabian and Alfie rammed into her door and released the lock. Patricia jolted back to reality. Everyone came running into her room, all with looks of worry and pity on their faces. No one made a sound. KT was was the first to break the silence.

"Um, Patricia, look, I'm sorry I kissed him, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth until after he, you know…" Patricia just scoffed and turned away. That was the most pathetic apology she had ever heard.

Joy hesitated and then spoke softly to Patricia. "Patricia, the hospital called. They said Eddie has a 98% chance of survival. Don't you see? He'll be okay Trixie, and then you guys can kiss and make up like you always do after a fight. Everything will work out just fine."

Her heart rose ever so slightly upon hearing these words. She cautiously allowed herself to hope. She let herself believe that maybe, just maybe, he would be fine, and she would have a second chance.

-3 Days Later-

"I'm extremely sorry mam, we tried our best, he was just, unlucky I'm afraid. We are truly sorry for your loss." The nurse said.

Patricia was paralyzed, she couldn't move even if she wanted to. This couldn't be happening, not to her, not like this. As the words finally sunk into her head, she fell to the ground. She didn't care who saw her anymore, she crumpled herself up into a ball next to Eddie's bed and bawled out all her pent-up misery. Right there, on the hospital floor. She had allowed herself to hope, and now she had fallen into the darkest and deepest pit, and she would never be able to climb out.

Everyone told her he would get better, that the hospital Eddie had been admitted into was the best in the city. Everyone had given her hope, and she had believed them. Now, every last drop of hope had been taken away from her without any warning.

Realization came to pass. Eddie had kissed her for the last time six days ago, and she hadn't even known. He had told her I love you for the last time six days ago, and she had no power to change any of that. Her last words to him were still, 'I hate you', and it was still all her fault.

She was right the first time around. Hope is pain, hope is to take a leap of faith and then find out there's no one there to catch you. Hope is for suckers. She had finally had enough. Enough pain, enough guilt, enough feelings.

Patricia stood up, and gingerly placed a kiss on Eddie's cold, dead lips. She took one last look at the pale and lifeless body of the person she loved the most, the one person who completely understood her, and walked away. She was now just a shell of her former self, just an empty cage whose feelings had died with the love of her life.

Right then, she promised herself she would never, ever, hope again. Ever. And this time, she truly meant it.