Sleep eludes me, time creeps on, and I lay staring at the ancient, velvet cloth draped above my bed. As my eyes trace the golden spirals embroidered on the drooping, crimson fabric, my mind wanders to a cave that sits deep in the Forbidden Forest, its entrance obscured by the limp branches of a withered weeping willow, its gray, craggy walls eclipsed with dark-green moss. This is the place I imagine the professors will take me tonight for my turning—a gaping hole damp, dark and lonely. I wonder if anyone will notice my absence, and immediately I think of my only friends: James and Sirius. Neither of them know who—or what—I am, and its only their ignorance that will protect them from the terrors that plague my hometown.
The realization is sickening, and I frantically scramble out of bed. I have get out of the dormitory, before Sirius and James wake up. If I don't they'll want to know where I'm going and why, and then they'll whine about how 'unfair' it is that I get to skip class and they don't. Honestly, it isn't as if I asked Fenrir Greyback to bite me. Anyway, they'd feel differently, if they knew how unbelievably agonizing a transformation can be.
Hastily, I pull a sweatshirt over my head, tiptoe out of the dormitory, down a spiral staircase, through the Gryffindor common room, and out of the portrait hole, into deserted corridor beyond. The first few rays of sunlight trickle through the high, arched windows, creating eerie shadows that dance across the cold, stone walls. A shiver runs down my spine, and I realize that I have absolutely nowhere to go.
Aimlessly, I wind through silent corridors, attempting unsuccessfully to staunch the worrying images flowing through my mind. I can see the grimy caretaker, prowling the halls looking for 'miscreants' like me, his gaunt cat quietly slinking, silently behind him. Soon, I find myself standing in front of a huge, marble gryphon. Completely transfixed, I stare into its beady, life-like eyes, and I feel as though it's staring back—expectantly. The sound of approaching footsteps startles me, and I whirl around, scanning the corridor for a place to hide, but it's too late, there's nowhere to go. Panic wells up inside me as someone appears from around the corner at the end of the hall. As the figure approaches, I realize it is none other than the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. Helpless, I stand rooted to the spot, terrified.
"Ah, Remus," he says airily. "I've been expecting you."
"Y-y-you have?" I stutter, completely aghast, deciding to go along with him, in hopes of avoiding detention for wandering the corridors during restricted hours.
"Indeed. However, I must admit I had not anticipated your arrival being quite this early in the morning."
"S-sorry s-sir, is it a bad time? I can come back later!" I stammer, turning to leave.
"Ah, no matter, dear boy-I've just been out for stroll in the gardens. Please, come up to my office." He smiles, waving his hand at the gryphon.
"Oh—all right."
"Toffee Squares,"
"Sorry, sir?" I ask, perplexed but somewhat relieved by his calm and friendly engagement.
"I've always found them quite delicious, particularly with a nice, hot cup of tea. Don't you agree?" he asks cheerily.
But before I can reply, the gryphon springs to life, spiraling upward, revealing a marble staircase beneath. Professor Dumbledore casually steps forward and begins to ascend. Hesitantly, I follow. We stop at the top of the staircase, and the headmaster pushes open the large, oaken door that has appeared before us .
"Welcome." the headmaster begins, proceeding to his desk and inviting me to take a seat opposite him. "So—M r. Lupin—I assume you're here to talk about the arrangements I have made for you this evening?"
"Yes—yes sir," I lie. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind, "Where exactly am I to transform?"
"I must say, it was quite an adventure finding the perfect spot, but I do believe that I've found it. Not to worry, all precautions have been taken. Professor Sprout and I have seen to that. Such a dear woman, has always loved the challenge of caring for dangerous plants."
"Sir, I don't understand."
"Of course—my apologies, I've started rambling. Oh well early mornings will do that to you…At seven o'clock this evening, you are to be escorted to the Whomping Willow. Are you familiar with the tree?"
I nod. Sirius and James love to dare each other to touch the tree's thrashing branches, however, neither one has succeeded to do so. Regretting the thought of my friends, I return my attention to the headmaster.
"At the base of the Whomping Willow," Professor Dumbledore continues, "there is an entrance to a tunnel that leads to the previous residence of Mr. Willard Harpington. The house is located on the outskirts of Hogsmeade, and has been vacant for years. No one will come near, as I've placed numerous protective enchantments around its premises."
"Professor?"
"Yes?"
"Well—I've been wondering. Am I required to attend classes today? Before transformations, I feel nauseated and achy-and this time around, it's worse than usual."
What I say is partially true; I don't feel well, but my real motive is to avoid my friends, and going to class means having to confront them again. I've already told Sirius and James that I'm going away this evening, but if I see them today, they'll just want to know more.
Dumbledore looks at me, for a moment, his crystal-blue eyes glinting in the flickering candlelight. I begin to wonder if I am pushing my limits. After all, he has already allowed me attend Hogwarts, regardless of my 'condition.'
"I'm sure Madam Pomfrey will be glad to take care of you, today," Professor Dumbledore says, finally. "But you may want to reconsider your decision."
My stomach somersaults, I have a terrible feeling that he knows I've lied.
"Hiding from your friends and lying to them won't prevent them from discovering your secrets," the headmaster continues placidly. "If you avoid James and Sirius, their thirst for information will only be encouraged; those two won't take no for an answer, and they definitely have an affinity for trouble. I know you haven't asked for my opinion, but I only speak from experience. No matter the circumstances, deceiving those closest to you is never the right choice."